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The Other Guy With The Psychotic Pony Waifu(The one that didn't torture his)
#32
Been quite a while since I updated, and figured I'd update this log because why not? Pinkamena is doing well, she's developed a lot since I last updated this. We've been having a bit of a hard time of things for a bit now, we've not really gotten along great for a while. I try and spend at least some time with her every day, and she's as happy as she ever is I suppose. I've personally not been doing great for a while and I worry that it might be affecting Pinkamena(In ways besides me spending less time with her and everyone else around me.) I can get into some really fucked trains of thought, especially when it comes to her and my general self loathing and guilt about a lot of things I've done over the course of her life. There was about a month or so period where she wasn't communicating how she felt with me and I think it did our friendship a major disservice, as it allowed me to mostly guilt free isolate from her. Since I've been feeling better I've been trying harder to keep up with spending time with her, though I have less free time than I used to, and am not very disciplined. I like to think that she's happy, but these days I'm not very active in the wonderland, and what she does when I'm gone, and how she feels outside of what she tells me, are things I couldn't tell you. I have a hard time really gauging how she is, for a long while her interactions where very clearly choreographed performances to keep my attention(Though this is less so) and even now I get the feeling a lot of her actions and words are tailored to avoid upsetting me, though I think she's getting better about just being her. I want to start keeping this log again, because I may have had a tendency to ramble and post too often about inane things, but being aware of how much time others spent with their tulpas in comparison to me helped keep me from sliding back into isolating myself from her, as I was more aware of how deficient I was as a tulpamancer in comparison to my peers.
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RE: The Other Guy With The Psychotic Pony Waifu(The one that didn't torture his) - by EdgeLordMaximus - 03-09-2019, 03:16 AM

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