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Deku's tree log


deku

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Hey there. I've begun to create a tulpa over the span of 3-14-19 to now. It interested me a lot, but already I do feel pretty motivated to continue my progress on creating a tulpa, so might as well write it here I suppose. ^^

 

Well, for a brief introduction for me: I'm Deku, basically just a pretty reserved person. I usually draw or write in my free time, or just talk to people.

I found Tulpamancy through my good friend Tumblr, but my tulpa started existing a day or so before I found out about this community.

I find this to be very interesting and helpful to me, so I'll log whatever happens :)

 

I guess I'll introduce my tulpa(s); C and Terra. They were both created rather close to each other. C became vocal pretty quickly, and Terra soon followed a few days or so (?) later.

This will just be me talking about development and/or stuff involving these two! I hope I can look back on this and be proud of myself.

 

__________

 

3 - 14 - 19 

Not much to recall - C is somewhat vocal, doesn't have a form yet

 

3 - 15 - 19

Spent forcing more, he's now able to have full conversations. His personality grows more chilled/social. I tried out some hypnosis later on and was able to vividly imagine his appearance. He's not extremely eager to talk a lot, but we still get along well.

 

3 - 17 - 19

Nothing yesterday. Our wonderland is developed - basically being a completely gray living room with two bedrooms on the right and a kitchen on the left. Haven't sat down to talk to him in a bit, but when we did it our conversation would just halt out of nowhere (I take the blame for that). C's been slightly irritated as of late.

 

3 - 21 - 19

My train of thought really has been lacking lately, so once again the only conversations I had with my tulpas during the gap were pretty brief. I felt quite guilty ;w; it's more of just the issue of me not being able to focus long enough. C and Terra didn't mind too much, as far as I know, but it still made me feel melancholy somehow. I'll try to spend more time with the two respectively.

 

3 - 24 - 19

C is able to talk to me without me even calling on him, now? I've been getting into the habit of late night and morning chats with the two of them, also passive forcing during the day too. I try and talk to Terra more, but she seems to be becoming rather distant from me. Not to mention, something personal happened between me and C, which I think might change things between us for awhile..

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Welcome to the forums!

 

Smaller forcing sessions are still better than no forcing sessions. A small little "hello, how are you" every day can make a huge difference in the long run, especially if you hit a point where you're having a hard time. Sometimes it can start a longer conversation too.

 

Just out of curiosity- how did Terra come about?

I'm Ranger, GrayTheCat's cobud (tulpa), and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff. I go by Rosalin or Ronan sometimes. You can call me Roz but please don't call me Ron.

My other headmates have their own account now.

 

If I missed seeing your art, please PM/DM me!

Blog | Not So Temporary Log | Switching Log | Yay! | Bre Translator | Art Thread

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3 - 25 - 19

 

Huh, so, I guess me and C had an argument. It was mostly just about some personal issues between us, and he claimed that I apparently changed all of the sudden. He wasn’t too far off, really, I feel like I was being way too out of line. My memory is pretty bad, so I apologize for the briefness. He accepted my apology, but I feel like things just won’t be the same for awhile, everything just seems awkward and tense y'know? I wanna try and talk it out again, maybe.

 

I'm just gonna try and take things easy? Whatever that means. 

 

Nothing of importance happened besides that, I guess.

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I've had a few of those with my own C, my brother/tulpa Cassidy. It is a long-term relationship: things happen, and there's a recovery period before you get back into the swing of things. Something I've learned to do is engage him with something he enjoys, and use that to get us both in a better mood, to have some positive interactions before any talking-of-it-out. Without that buffer period of "Let's watch this Disney movie", we fall right back into the argument. I have to break out of Debate Mode consciously and realize, this is emotional management time, we're healing the hurts right now, not seeing who is more correct. Movies are great, too, because it's not like a video game or anything that we have to cooperate with each other to both experience it.

 

Good luck for you both. I have faith that you can work it out. -J

The world is far, the world is wide; the man needs someone by his side. 

Our Thread

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3 - 28 - 19 

(should I count in days?)

 

I don’t really know how to start this, but I’ve been trying to work on imposition lately? There’s not much to say about it, but after that, I think I’ll try and work on possession next if I can (which I already started a little). It sounds simple enough, but I still sometimes have problems with visualization, especially if it’s something I’m trying to focus on. Things happen such as the scene/thing that I’m visualizing fading into this irritating black grain sort of texture. It’s sorta hard to explain, really. And while that doesn’t happen as much as it used to anymore, it’s still very distracting.

 

I'll just use this and see how it goes, maybe. I just sorta feel like I should work towards some sort of goal.

 

Hh well besides that, things are a lot better with C. Terra has been good, as well ^^

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  • 2 weeks later...

4 - 6 - 19

 

Had quite a rough past week. I didn’t have much motivation or even energy to make any entries. It’s just been overall very hard for me, and my mental state honestly hasn’t been doing very good, but things have been getting better.

 

I’ll uh try to make more of these? (Not sure if I even wanna post these to tulpa.info anymore).

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Guest Reilyn-Alley

There's nothing wrong with updating now and then when the mood strikes you. Save up days, weeks, whatever and post highlights if you wanna. It's interesting for us and let's you ask questions and get feedback and stuff. There's no wrong pace to work on tulpa stuff at, just know that how much time and effort you put into it (and regular practice to maintain skills like visualizations, etc) is *normally* the determining factor of how successful you are. Everyone is a bit different though so don't worry if things happen too fast or to slow. What matters is you keep interested and keep at it.

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There's nothing wrong with updating now and then when the mood strikes you. Save up days, weeks, whatever and post highlights if you wanna. It's interesting for us and let's you ask questions and get feedback and stuff. There's no wrong pace to work on tulpa stuff at, just know that how much time and effort you put into it (and regular practice to maintain skills like visualizations, etc) is *normally* the determining factor of how successful you are. Everyone is a bit different though so don't worry if things happen too fast or to slow. What matters is you keep interested and keep at it.

 

Yep, I think so too. I appreciate the reply, thanks. ^^

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4 - 14 - 19: Small Talk

 

Things are better, somewhat, and I'm probably gonna start making logs again, I hope? It depends, but I sorta miss writing these anyway. Things aren't too uneventful for once; I've started therapy, finally, and I'm wondering if I should tell her about my tulpas, honestly. C has given me the ok to do it, and Terra seems fine with it too. If I ever do, I guess I'll talk about it here. At the same time, I feel like it's somewhat necessary to shield their identity from people in real life, I don't know really.

 

Well, enough about that I suppose. 

Me and C hung out in the wonderland for about an hour a few days ago. I never really took the time to really look into my mindspace too much, so it was a great time when we went farther past our house.

Not like we found anything amazing, but I'm glad nonetheless.

 

That's all for now - until next time, see ya.

 

PS: C and Terra are 1 month old now, they grow up so fast ='3

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  • deku changed the title to Deku's tree log

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