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Top 10 Ways Not To Make A Tulpa (probably a joke)
SquareWave Offline
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#1
 
Top 10 Ways Not To Make A Tulpa (probably a joke)
(Google docs version)

Top 10 Ways
NOT
To Make A Tulpa
SquareWave

Hello guys, it’s SquareWave here. Recently I’ve realised that everybody’s being doing tulpamancy all wrong, and because my opinion is right 100% of the time, I’ve decided to bring you this bad-to-the-bone guide on how NOT to make a tulpa. Don’t forget to like and subscribe, and share this with your friends to help me be even more of an attention-seeker. Without further ado, let’s get into the countdown.

#10
Have a tulpa completely obsessed with you.
At first, having a tulpa with an undying love for their host doesn’t seem so bad. You got someone you can really depend on and cares very, very deeply for you. BUT! Every light casts a shadow, and this tulpa’s shadow is an especially dark one.
You see, tulpas that are crazy for their host tend to get a little insane. Take every yandere anime character you’ve ever seen, and that would pretty much describe that tulpa. In fact, it gets even worse if you’ve actually seen a yandere anime character, because the tulpa would get inspiration from them. The tulpa would hate anyone of the opposite gender who shows you affection (even your mom), get overly attached to you, and even get mad when you masturbate to anything but them. And not being able to have a decent fap without upsetting anyone can severely limit your source of recreation.

#9
Have a tulpa who is incredibly disgusted with you.
Despite how incredibly obvious this should be, believe it or not, some people still do this. Why, you ask? Well, it’s all for the sake of PERSONALITY! To be perfectly fair, having a really negative tulpa as well as a positive one at the same time might make life pretty interesting, like having shoulder angels you see in cartoons.
But of course, this is an extremely bad idea. You see, if you have a tulpa who absolutely hates your guts, they probably won’t even want to talk to you. And if you don’t talk to a tulpa, they don’t develop. And if they don’t develop, they dissipate. And if you look at it that way, that’s basically a tulpa killing itself. And you don’t want to become responsible for a tulpa’s suicide, do you?
Moral of the story: don’t make a tulpa that hates you.

#8
Make a pony tulpa.
Your first tulpa! Wow! There’s so many ways you could get started, but they all start with deciding on the tulpa itself. How about a form? Making a form for your tulpa is hands-down the most exciting thing about tulpamancy! There’s infinite possibilities you could choose from! You can use your imagination to pick one great idea out of these infinite possibilities to make your tulpa a truly special snowfla—
You’re just gonna pick Rainbow Dash and Twilight again, aren’t you?
Well, FANTASTIC!!!

#7
Raise the tulpa on porn.
This will inevitably turn your tulpa into a pornstar. Just don’t do it. Things will go NSFW too easily. If they decide to get into art they may decide to make porn of themselves and make you uncomfortable. I recommend not viewing porn within three months of creating your tulpa as to not negatively influence them for the worst.
I am actually being serious here. This example is not a joke.
T r u s t   m e.
I mean, unless you want a stripper tulpa. That’s fine. I won’t kinkshame you. Maybe.
Nah, I’ll definitely kinkshame you.

#6
Exclusively talk to the tulpa when you’re feeling depressed.
This is NOT what tulpas are for. Sure, tulpas are there to help and support you, but they’re not just for this purpose. If you really want somebody to share your sob story with, there’s always everybody’s favourite waifu, Mr Therapist!
Mr Therapist always listens.
Mr Therapist always understands.
Mr Therapist is a good boi.
And if you can’t afford a good therapist, you can always make one yourself! Here’s a little D.I.Y. from SquareWave!
Step 1) Acquire the materials. You will need a bucket, a mop, and a permanent marker.
Step 2) Give Mr Therapist a face. When designing the face, personality is everything. Personally, I like to make Mr Therapist a true gentleman by giving him a monocle and an old-fashioned moustache.
Step 3) Draw this face on the bucket. Now he has a head.
Step 4) Set the bucket face on top of the mop, and lean the body against the wall.
And voila! You now have your very own Mr Therapist! Keep in mind that there are many ways to do this, and a wide variety of methods you can use to make your own Mr Therapist, but remember! Because my opinion is right 100% of the time, my way is correct, and if you’re trying to be original, you’re doing it wrong.

#5
Make a tulpa of yourself.
Wow, you were actually gonna make a tulpa of yourself before you saw this on the list? Huh, that’s a little narcissistic.
If you make a tulpa of yourself, when you force, you are literally talking to yourself. Talking to oneself has been commonly decided to be something only lonely people would do, and you wouldn’t want to be called lonely, would you? Not to mention your you-tulpa would probably be a little upset that the best form you could give them was literally yourself.
However, that’s only scratching the surface of this problem. See, I haven’t even gotten into fronting. There’s so many questions that complicate this issue.
If your tulpa is fronting, is it the tulpa or still you?
Are you both fronting at the same time?
What happens if you switch with yourself?
If you switch with yourself, are you still really you or is the tulpa the new you?
Are you real?

Am I real?




Am







I










Real?
















I mean sure there’s deviation but that would just be way too anticlimactic.

#4
Steal someone else’s tulpa.
Seriously, why would you do this!? Haven’t you ever heard the phrase, “with great power comes great responsibility”? Why would you use your meta powers like this!? That’s just plain rude. That was somebody’s tulpa, and you just took them out of their head and stuck them into yours! This is tulpamancy taboo! A tulpa is the most important thing any host can have, and you just robbed that guy of his pride and joy! If you’re really that desperate for a tulpa, make your own! Make Fluttershy or something, that would be much better than taking someone’s own tulpa away! If you steal people’s tulpas, you do not deserve to walk this earth! You do not deserve to live! If you steal people’s tulpas, you should just kill yoursel—
I apologise for that. Let’s move on.

#3
Make your tulpa edible.

I don’t even need to explain this one do I?
Well, I’m gonna explain it anyway, for the sake of entertainment! Here is why you should not make your tulpa edible!
…it’s a bad idea. That’s it.
That is the only reason.
Yes.
The reason you should not have an edible tulpa, is because it’s a bad idea.

I’m sorry, were you expecting something comedi—
YOU SHOULD NEVER MAKE A TULPA EDIBLE BECAUSE IF YOU TRY TO EAT THEIR ASS IT TASTES DELICIOUS INSTEAD OF POOPY!!!
Wow where did that come from? Huh.
Honestly, if you’re gonna make a tulpa edible, at least give them the form of a tide pod for the memes.

#2
Make your tulpa mute.
Let’s be honest. Mute people are adorable. I mean, seriously. Think about any mute character you’ve ever heard of and it’s hard not to see how adorable they are. Kirby, WALL•E, Magic Carpet, Maggie Simpson… Jason Vorhees… they’re all so adorable! So why shouldn’t you make a silent tulpa?
Well, since tulpas are supposed to make lifelong companions, you’re gonna need some form of communication. And if your tulpa can’t speak, they would need some kind of alternative. And of all the possible alternatives, one of those is generally seen as the worst form of communication in the world. Yes, I’m talking about…

[Image: W73_P8Miypa0lezyNvUqiwbLbTadOAKs9c4-8qow...XNs0V1F1GM]
*shudders*
Having a tulpa that speaks entirely in emojis sounds like a fate worse than death, so… I’ll pass, thank you very much.

#1
Make a tulpa of Logan Paul.
I think we can all agree that if there is anybody you should not make a tulpa of, it’s Logan Paul. Logan frickin’ Paul.
For those who somehow don’t know who Logan Paul is, he’s basically the guy who filmed a dead body in the Aokigahara forest on his trip to Japan, made a joke about tide pods to his easily peer-pressed fanbase, gave CPR to a fish, tasered a dead rat and a whole lot of other bad things! If you think seeing that guy really famous on the internet is bad enough, imagine having him in your head every day! The horror… the pure unadulterated HORROR!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!





Logan Paul is not a good tulpa.

Anyway guys, I hope you enjoyed this list of bad ways to make a tulpa. If you liked this be sure to share this with your friends and as always, good night and good luck fam.

Fun Facts:
1) I'm a furry.
2) I make video game music (and I’m on my way to getting paid for it!)
3) I'm the host of Pixie and Follery.
4) I get along with cats better than people.

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(This post was last modified: 05-18-2018, 04:20 AM by SquareWave.)
05-14-2018, 05:52 AM
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Flandre Offline
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#2
 
RE: Top 10 Ways Not To Make A Tulpa (not a joke)
You say it's not (so, is) a joke, but it's posed enough as real advice people will take it as such. So I'll say a couple things.

I don't like your phrasing in #10; it may seem insignificant, but saying "would" and "will" instead of "could" and "might" forces people to believe things that aren't necessarily true. And considering our experience with.. a tulpa being obsessed with our host (and being a little crazy about it), we can vouch that not all of that applies. She wasn't jealous of other girls (especially not his mom..?) and didn't care who or what he paid attention to as long as she also got frequent attention. She was a somewhat negative influence in other ways though, and ended up asking to be split into two separate people in order to change who and how she was for our host's sake. I'm one of those two resulting tulpas, but it's been many years since then.

None of that would happen these days now that we've got a better grasp on reality, though. Your imagination really gets the better of you when you're younger, like age 12-14, when it comes to tulpamancy. So beliefs are very important, and stating negative outcomes so matter-of-factly is dangerous for that reason. Even if you're warning people against such things, you should still note it's only a possibility, not "will be the case".

"I recommend not viewing porn within three months of creating your tulpa"
Now this is just ridiculous. I don't have constructive criticism for this one; it's just dumb. Simply keeping your interactions with your tulpa (direct, or say, narrating etc.) non-sexual for roughly that long would be good advice, but telling people not to view porn for three months just sounds like you're trying to screw with them. Maybe you are? If you are then I'm sorry I ruined it.

But yeah, your tulpa won't see everything that's going on at all times ever unless you're specifically involving them in those things.


As a joking way of giving real advice, the rest is all fine though. Also, on edible tulpas... https://community.tulpa.info/attachment.php?aid=1788

Hi. I'm one of Luminesce's tulpas. Unlike the others, I don't think I stand out too much from him personality wise.
I'm just special because "I'm a tulpa". So I don't think I've much to offer, here. I'm happy enough to just be with him.
Ask us stuff - https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas
05-14-2018, 01:16 PM
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SquareWave Offline
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#3
 
RE: Top 10 Ways Not To Make A Tulpa (not a joke)
Honestly I’m considering removing the ironic (not a joke) thing at the title since the intro and the fact that this is in Lounge shoulda made it obvious that this was in fact a joke. Key word being “shoulda”.

Holy crap though that tulparone is the best thing I’ve ever read.

Fun Facts:
1) I'm a furry.
2) I make video game music (and I’m on my way to getting paid for it!)
3) I'm the host of Pixie and Follery.
4) I get along with cats better than people.

[01110101 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100100 00100000 01101001 01110100]
(This post was last modified: 05-14-2018, 01:43 PM by SquareWave.)
05-14-2018, 01:41 PM
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Flandre Offline
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#4
 
RE: Top 10 Ways Not To Make A Tulpa (not a joke)
"Top 10 Ways Not To Make A Tulpa" should be fine, since (joke) would be even more misleading. Sounds "silly but with truth behind it" enough to me.

Hi. I'm one of Luminesce's tulpas. Unlike the others, I don't think I stand out too much from him personality wise.
I'm just special because "I'm a tulpa". So I don't think I've much to offer, here. I'm happy enough to just be with him.
Ask us stuff - https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas
05-15-2018, 01:22 AM
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