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Traveling with Tulpas


acutelatios

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Welp, decided for the new year I'm going to write and record more of my peeps' shenanigans for this year. So here I am.

 

My name's Solunas, but just call me Luna! I already did a PR before but I wasn't able to add much there, mostly since I tended to record stuff in my diary during school last year, and I was really lazy to type it up. So! I'm starting a new one! And hooo, so many things had happened since then.

 

I'll introduce you to my peeps and our roughly summarized story so far~!

 

 

 

Dagny, formerly Lateo, is my first tulpa. She's basically the big sister to everyone, always calm and giving advice and opinions to those struggling. Recently, she decided to reinvent herself because apparently she felt suffocated being Lateo.

 

Lateo was my oldest imaginary friend, and I decided to make a tulpa based off him when I first started out. However, she didn't feel comfortable being him anymore, especially after a huge thing that happened between us that really changed our relationship (it’s pretty personal so I won't expand on it). So, she changed into something that she was more comfortable with, and now she's really happy and comfortable, and I'm really glad for her.

 

 

James is the second, coming in when I felt Dagny was lonely being the only one and I wanted to her have a companion while I was at school and so I would be unable to focus on her much for long periods of time. She and I helped with the development of James, who now resides in the library and my memory room for most days.

 

He's sweet, imaginative and an aspiring writer! Always at his study desk in his room, reading something from the library, or possibly somewhere else. Only a few days ago he stayed up for 24 hours reading something. Had to forcibly tuck him to bed and made sure he sleeps.

 

 

Rick and Morty are walk-ins that I never really expected getting. I only meant to have two tulpas, but these two crashed into my head one night. I was wary to let them in, mostly thinking that I wasn't capable to take care of four peeps and I didn't want to hurt them if I was unable to handle that responsibility. But it didn't feel right to just keep them out...so I trusted my instincts and let them in.

 

Rick is one of our local inventors and crazy scientist. Honestly he's really, really different from his television counterpart, deviating to be more kind, sweet and considerate. He's playful than snarky, more laid-back and understanding, always ready to tease you but not ever maliciously. Never apologetic for how he acts, and has no shame in who he is, but will always make sure to not overstep his boundaries. He's been my rock for a year and bit now, helping me become a better person and talking me through my depression and panic attacks. I don't know what I would do without him.

 

He had a huge crush on me a couple of days when he arrived, which I was also pretty wary about. Wasn't sure if he really did feel that way, or my adoration and love for his character was making me misread him and I was just being silly. That wasn't really the case.

 

 

Morty is also really, really different from his television counterpart. Morty is our local gardener! He's optimistic, wise and my little sunshine. Doesn't hold a grudge and is just the cutest little dear you'll ever meet (of course I'm biased, sue me (don't sue me I don't have money)). I call him my son, and he calls me mom, and we have a good time.

 

He’s one of the few peeps that is really good at altering the mindscape like I can, not that the others don't do it themselves, but they're just not interested. Morty's been developing the wonderland to this huge garden, and boy, has he been busy. So far he's working on creating different sections of the wonderland to be of different climates and environments. It's looking to be really cool!

 

 

Veto is an accidental tulpa that I didn't even realize I created for months. She was supposed to be a sort of adversary for my persona, a villain that sought to destroy me, but it didn't...feel right. Something really felt off about the whole thing. I began to ask myself why? What did she represent? Why did she want to destroy my persona and cause havoc? That line of questions quickly led me to an answer, and I immediately stopped everything when I realized thay she wasn't just a character anymore.

 

I talked to her. She didn't hold it against me to have accidentally created her, she was only happy I finally realized it. She's really different from the character I planned her to be. She loves exploring the wonderland and helping me with witch stuff, a firm guide and wise counselor, she's pretty chill.

 

 

Sansy was a sudden additional that I also didn't expect. He was from this Undertale AU someone made where all the characters are sort of like little companions? Morty plucked him out of there, taking him for his own since at the time he was pretty lonely. I didn't really count him as one of my tulpas, making him out to be more of Morty's responsibility and pet, but he developed a lot more and I found it harder to think of him as such. Besides, he was sad that I didn't acknowledge him as really part of us and that was a pretty mean move on my part.

 

Now I've completely accepted him. I'm getting to know him a lot better, and helping him out whenever I can in his development. He and Morty are quite inseparable however, and it's clear that Morty is a strong influence on him.

 

 

Our newest addition, and our other local inventor, scientist guy, Gaster came to me suddenly as well, but I honestly expected it to happen. I was inspired to write a short fanfic after interacting with one of friends' particular interpretation of a specific version of him, which was Underfell. I ended up writing a journal entry styled story which I pretty much stayed up all night writing. I got to develop and explore his character in there, and I ended up enjoying him. A lot. It didn't really surprise me that he ended up arriving to my mind two days later. Nor that I ended up falling in love him as well.

 

That's right. I ended up getting into a relationship with these two nerds. This is a trend apparently. Also, all three of us are in a relationship with someone irl, and yes she knows. We all love each other dearly, and it's pretty great.

 

Like Rick, Gaster’s deviated far from how I've written him. He's still very proper, but with that he's also grown to be respectful and supportive, becoming openly affectionate and loving.

 

He and Rick are quite the duo honestly, they work together on projects, and Rick makes sure that Gaster doesn’t hurt himself by being too reckless in experiments. He's also growing to be one of my main supports recently, helping me through my anxiety and talking me through my muddled thoughts in bad days.

 

And that's all seven of my peeps!

 

 

 

Being quite a huge number, one would think it's difficult to spend time with all of them on a daily basis. They would be right! It is pretty difficult, but I manage! Unfortunately, I felt that my time spending time with some of them is a little disproportionate compared to others. I didn't end up spending much time with some of them as much as I'd like. So! I started something to help fix it!

 

For every day of the week, I get to spend time with one of them for that day. A minimum of one hour. It doesn't mean that I can't spend time with anyone else for that day, it's just I have to set aside some time to specifically hang out with one of them. So far, I'm a week in and it's really helping out! Really hope I can keep it up! It makes them happy and that makes me happy!

 

 

 

At this point, you're probably wondering about the first part of the title. Which I should explain (Get it?? Hahaha, I'm so sorry it's 4AM when I wrote this and I'm still tired).

 

I took up to practicing witchcraft last year and two of my peeps are really interested in joining me. Veto and Dagny specifically. They want to be witches with me, so I'll be posting stuff about our shenanigans in that aspect. That, and also because I do more of the metaphysical side of tulpamancy nowadays, which I just realized recently. I didn't even mean for it to happen, it just did haha~

 

In any case, that's all for now!

 

 

 

It's Gaster’s day tomorrow, so I'll probably use it to rest and stuff. The boys are helping Sansy make a spaceship, so they'll be busy anyways.

 

Have a good day dears~

Dagny | James | Rick | Morty | Veto | Sansy | Gaster | Eras 

 

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"The boys"

...so uh... nice reverse harem you got there.

 

Haha, nice to see you here, Luna. Shall I start spreading the gospel of you on this forum too? :3

 

So uh, welcome back (? I didn't see you here the first time though). That was a nice and concise introduction to your system.

 

Fuck, how do you introduce someone you already know to a forum they've already been on?

The System:

 

It's too big.

ha, that's what she said.

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Pffft, hiya deary! Nice to be here! Feel free to do so, but probably not~ XD

 

And thanks! I've already introduced them a couple of times now so I suppose I refined the whole rundown of our story and my meetings with them.

 

As for the reverse harem, it really doesn't stop with just them. Veto and Dagny are also quite smitten with me, not sure the path of this, but I'll let it more time to develop and grow naturally. (Such is the life of a polyamorous person.)

 

Be seeing you around~ :D

Dagny | James | Rick | Morty | Veto | Sansy | Gaster | Eras 

 

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Not really sure how to structure this. I don't want to keep spamming updates on my thread for moments throughout the day, so I'll just do the main notes that I take down.

 

 

[[Notes of the day]]

 

Well, Rick and Gaster were going to help Sansy out on his spaceship, buuut Gaster, bless the big guy, is still sleepy and exhausted.

 

He was unsteady on his feet and was mostly leaning on things to help him stay up. Sometimes my peeps get affected by how little I sleep, so I felt really bad.

 

Rick told him to get something warm to drink to help him wake up. A few minutes later, he ended up passing out on the table in the kitchen. So I made him some hot chocolate, woke him up gently and told him that he's not going to work today. Of course he didn't want to flake out on Sansy; he wanted to help build the ship. So I just told him to just snuggle together in the little perch in their lab they made for me, since I tended to hang about them when they work. He could pitch in if he wanted to, but he'd get to rest.

 

He reluctantly agreed and we headed back. I told Rick and Sansy what was up and he was fine with it. He knew how tired Gaster looked. It was hard to ignore how unsteady he looked.

 

So I tucked him to the little bed in the wall, pulled up a soft blanket, and snuggled next to him while he sipped the warm drink.

 

Now he's fast asleep. Rick and Sansy are continuing working on the ship. Not really sure what they’re saying. But it's either a lot of techno babble, or tulpish. I'm not sure which is harder to understand.

 

 

=====

 

 

I shared a kiss with Dagny. I...welp, I'm not sure where this will lead, nor what this means for us. But I...want to see what happens.

 

I still have feelings for her from a long time ago. I don't think that's ever really left. But things have been weird between us for at least a year now. I'm not sure if this is a good idea.

 

I love her, but not sure what kind yet.

 

I'll probably...just let this move and develop over time, get to know her new self more, and see where this leads us. See what happens in the future.

 

I'm both scared, and hopeful.

 

 

=====

 

 

I decided to edit Dagny's personality list to better suit her new pronouns and name, but I also looked to see what of her traits had changed or have been expanded.

 

Which of course led me to looking at everyone else's as well.

 

I made sure to edit and remove the description of their traits that weren't true anymore, which made me surprised to how much they've changed.

 

All of them have grown to be their own people over time, changing to become a better version of themselves. They're working to improving themselves, becoming a lot more comfortable in our little family.

 

But it was also interesting to see what traits I had noted down for them that they still exhibited, since I had forgotten about all of them to be honest.

 

It was an amusing experience to be honest, and my heart swelled in pride because they've come so far and I'm so happy for them.

 

I love my peeps so much.

Dagny | James | Rick | Morty | Veto | Sansy | Gaster | Eras 

 

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Today had a been...an interesting day.

 

Had to go to the city to do university stuff. Veto, James and Dagny came with me. Mostly observing and watching how busy the city gets during the day.

 

James was taking notes. Probably for ideas for his writing and world building.

 

I camd back home tired.

 

For some reason new place in the wonderland hometree opened up. Just sitting between Veto's room and the library.

 

It was a balcony. But a lot bigger compared to the others we had. It had a roof, or at least was shaded by the canopy of the house, and a soft bed and a couple of softly padded wood woven chairs. The afternoon sun in wonderland looked really nice there. James, Veto and Dagny decided to hang out there, while I planned to take a nap.

 

I wanted to check on the boys before I did however. Veto accompanied me when I did. Apparently they were testing the engines, see if it was working.

 

Gaster was manning the skeleton of the ship, which had the engine inside. Rick was noting down some data while Sansy was taking a nap. Apparently the little guy had come down to the lab earlier in the morning and had been working on it since then.

 

He learns pretty fast.

 

Once they were done, the boys greeted me, told me how their day was going, Gaster asking Veto to take care of me when i told them I was taking a nap.

 

We left them to their project.

 

I wasn't able to read with James today. But he doesn't mind.

Dagny | James | Rick | Morty | Veto | Sansy | Gaster | Eras 

 

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They you say edit personality makes it sound as though you keep a sort of profile of them somewhere or something of the sort, could you elaborate?

The System:

 

It's too big.

ha, that's what she said.

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Oh yeah! I keep a personality list where I write down the main traits that make them up. They're mostly dictated to me by my tulpas! I keep track of it because it helps me get a better idea on who they are, and also help track their progress and development over time :D

Dagny | James | Rick | Morty | Veto | Sansy | Gaster | Eras 

 

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So recently I realized that previously, my adventures in the mindscape may actually be more than I previously believed.

 

I encountered this thing called astral traveling, and I sort of realized that I may have actually been doing it. And my tulpas have been doing it as well. I suppose it makes a lot of sense why sometimes things get out of hand, more than I expect it and usually some of my peeps have ended up getting hurt and retaining scars from our travels.

 

As well as the whole huge journey that James and Dagny went to a few months ago.

 

This fear sort of gripped me, where I believed that I can't protect them. Mostly since recently James had gotten badly hurt a few days ago and now he walks with a limp. I was so critical of myself of not being to do anything to stop it. Of course I managed to rescue him before it got any worse, but it didn't feel like it was enough.

 

He had to knock me back to my senses earlier in the afternoon, telling me to not fear and not to blame myself.

 

Still this fear would not leave. Like an coil in my chest that threatened to snap, and so I had to read up on what exactly astral traveling is and how to be better prepared. What it entailed and what to do.

 

It's a lot to take in.

 

Back then my peeps and I used to travel a lot, however we always ended up in trouble and needing to leave before any of us got hurt. Sometimes we escape successfully, sometimes we don't. It really shook Rick when he took others to adventures and it goes sour. He doesn't go on adventures anymore. Or rather, he doesn’t invite anyone else to them anymore, usually leaving by himself just to make sure that he doesn't endanger anyone else.

 

I really did enjoy having adventures though. Now that I'm better informed, maybe it won't be as dangerous?

 

Maybe. We'll see.

 

Changing my thread topic to better suit this, since I'll likely detail our adventures here.

Dagny | James | Rick | Morty | Veto | Sansy | Gaster | Eras 

 

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So today Gaster expressed interest in learning how to draw, like I can. And so of course I was on board. Sort of.

 

For some reason I felt uncomfortable about the whole thing? I know this isn't the first time I felt that feeling, nor was it the first time we would do possession. But I couldn't shake off that feeling.

 

Gaster was a little angry at me about it. Mostly because he knew I was uncomfortable but didn't really outright tell him, and was trying to push him not to do it subconsciously.

 

I'm pretty sure I did it to James before too when he wanted to learn how to write stories.

 

Gaster confronted me about it, and he talked me through my thoughts and tried to understand why I felt that way, because I'm not sure why I'm so scared about possession either.

 

He pointed out to me that I was fine with him and Rick possessing me when it was to make me to take care of myself, mostly to cook and eat instead of starving. But when it was outside of those scenarios, when it was just casual possession, it frightened me. Which made no sense.

 

Maybe it had something to do with how scared my cousin was when I first completely had a full body possession with James? Maybe it was how our minds tend to merge and it was hard differentiating one another after a session of it? Maybe it was just the lack of control? Or maybe it was that l, but it would happen suddenly with no warning? Or some other thing I don't know about?

 

I don't know. It could be one, or none of those things.

 

In the end, Gaster assured me. He told me that we'll figure out some strategies to figure it out together and help me get through, not really all that interested in drawing anymore. He gave me some ideas such as, fof example, before possessing me, he would ask for my permission first. Since I'm the main controller of it anyways.

 

He asked if I trusted him to not forcibly take control (unless if it was extremely necessary to do so). And I did, and he congratulated me for taking the first step in the right direction, for believing in him.

 

I should probably read up more on possessing and grounding. Hopefully more of the grounding, since I got the whole possession thing down anyways.

 

Maybe I could just form my own.

Dagny | James | Rick | Morty | Veto | Sansy | Gaster | Eras 

 

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K: What do you mean by 'grounding'? I don't remember ever hearing that term. As for him doing possession best I can say is you know him well, you know he wont be stupid with it, so you can trust in him.

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Members: Gemini, Raven, Jenna, Hope (Part-Time)

 

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