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Tulpa Jesse - reviving a tulpa
#21
Nothing to report for todays session which was uneventful except possibly some mind speak which I was not 100% sure if it was Jesse.
Jesse (human male) DOB 16th April 2013
Working on imposition
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#22
I missed a day of trying to do things with Jesse after a disappointing couple of days where I really wasn't getting much at all, so I'm getting back to it today and decided to make a new picture of him as there is things wrong in the last one I did... he looked way too young when he's supposed to be older, his eyebrows were not as distinguished as they should of been and the bottom of his nose was bigger then his nose was supposed to be and he was looking a bit girly looking which he does not look like.

So today back to Facemaker I went and put the setting on the top one for male, made his skin more porous to try to make him look older, fixed his nose, gave him slightly bigger ears to hopefully make him look more masculine and though his eyes do change and I tried to make this latest picture of him with the green eyes I've been seeing on him of late. The picture has come out closer to how it was supposed too and he is looking now in his picture 20 years older (I hope). Hopefully I also fixed the eyes which were going slightly squinty. I also got a side on picture as well as the front one to meditate on. (I"ll try to put his hair on it later).

Now that I've written this.. I just need to change the picture I have here to the new one of him.
Jesse (human male) DOB 16th April 2013
Working on imposition
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#23
He looks nice!
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#24
thanks Mischa. I love your profile picture.
Jesse (human male) DOB 16th April 2013
Working on imposition
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#25
A bit of a strange experience with Tulpa Hynosis videos.

Seeing I had not experienced much at all the last few days, I decided to use one of GearHeart's hypnosis videos on youtube. Though I aren't into the wonderland stuff (as I'm trying to impose Jesse externally and my inner visualisation skills are non existent), for something different I choose the Wonderland Immersion one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9FZCBoFMn4 .

I went so deep during this that I could hear myself snoring while I was fully aware but the I ended up blacking out completely. (I wasn't sleeping though, it was more like I tranced completely out.. this is the kind thing which does happen to me if I reach very deep trance states

Warning metaphysical - I wish I had a voice recorder player as I can at times have other voices come through me and other weird more metaphysical stuff happen when out of it to this degree which a tape recorder in the past has picked up.. The weirdest tape I got was before I got into tulpa stuff was the male voice of a higher spirit guide and it sounded like I entered a time zone as I was playing music in the background and the music in the recording of my session (I used some of my normal music as the background music) gets slower and slower till it becomes individual long drawn out notes and not music any more but the male voice speaking from me was speaking at normal speed, so it sounds like I entered into another dimensional zone or something. I don't know where I have that tape recording of that now but it sure was freaky to listen too with not knowing that any of that had happened.

Anyway.. I was tranced out to the point I don't know what happened when I used that wonderland hypnosis. I then came too to find the next video was taking me into another tulpa hypnosis session, The "Tulpa creation and reinforcement hypnosis." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KE-1JHzP2hM . (I weirdly started to almost vomit and was going to get up and get a bucket as I felt so sick which was very strange) but as I still had a desire to experience something so I allowed myself to then follow the next session but once again zoned out so completely that I'm unaware what happened again and once again I know I didn't go into sleep but into a deep trance...

then once again came too at the point where one is being taken back into hypnosis again in yet the next video a different Tulpa creation and reinforcement hynosis video but by the same people again https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1cvQLABSi8 (was feeling a sick feel again but not as strong as when being taken into the video before). So I then ended up completely tranced out again with no awareness (not asleep) and come too as the next video was starting to take me again under ARGHH .. this is crazy.

I decided to get up at that point as this is ridiculous - trancing out completely to the point of awareness through several videos - as I do not even know what they are saying and imprinting into my brain during this sessions and a couple of weeks back I was reading warnings on youtube about these hypnosis videos by these people having things imprinted which shouldn't be on them and they use them to get people into a cult (some kind of sex cult if what I was reading is true and use hypnosis to make people susceptable to their cult).

I'm going to ignore all what just happened to me (It's a worry thou going into these videos was making me feel sick and the second I nearly vomited... maybe it was just a case of I'd just eaten before I started this and when one goes into trance everything in the body slows down including digestion so maybe that was not good for me causing me to almost throw up?.. but then maybe the feeling ill was some kind bad intuition over this video. I've never had issues before with meditation or trance states after eating.

So it looks like I'll have yet another attempt at connecting with Jesse tonight but in the usual ways I go about this .. I'll probably just meditate on his photo and talk to it every now and then or try to read to him while thinking of him being with me.

Has anyone else here used those videos and if you did what happened? Were they useful to you? (I got a slight soreness in my brain now.. like I sometimes get after a forcing session).
Jesse (human male) DOB 16th April 2013
Working on imposition
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#26
I become a little scared

Todays session (when it finally was doing something in which I could pick up things.. see last entry), I twice heard a masculine inner voice.. it sounded a little deeper then Jesse usually sounds.

I also had for a very very brief moment of time (not quite enough time for my brain to catch it properly to really pick up how he currently looks and if there has been any changes), I saw Jesse as if physical outside of myself (unrelated to looking at the picture so not imposed over it) but it was only his face area I was looking towards at the time so that part of him which suddenly appeared like a very alive human face.

He? (not sure it was him or myself unlike last time he had me doing things) had me lay down and shut my eyes too after that to try to see him better but that didn't work so I went back to opened eyed trying to see him again and using the picture.

I felt one emotion coming from him today at one point and that was a feeling of sexual attraction. I don't think the feel come from me but him as at the time I was trying to impose his chin and I are not into chins as such and then suddenly while I was focused on his chin.. I got a wave of emotion which seemed to come from him like (want to go to bed with me thing.. a wave of sexual and attraction emotion). So in my thoughts I joked to him about this before going back to focus on his picture.

His picture came alive but only with the eyes and not the rest of the picture which really creeped me out and make me for a moment feel a bit scared.. OMG the eyes and only the eyes looked 100% real. It's interesting that happened as with that picture I think it looks like a photo except for having fake/unreal looking eyes and here I was having the eyes become realer than the rest looks. It reminded me of you know in horror movies where their is paintings on a wall and people have cut the eyes out of the paintings and there are real peoples eyes are looking out from the picture on a wall. (that's why it creeped me out)

Just before that happened, I'd expressed to Jesse that I have not seen his funny side for a little while (that would be I'd think be cause I just have not been able to connect to him much to pick up things) so ended up assuming when I remembered I'd only said that to him minutes before, I then thought that he'd only made the eyes appear real for a joke on me but he then seemed to say to me that no it wasn't him which did that but he wished I'd thought of that one (of doing that).

After the initial scaring me and Jesse realizing that, the photo's eyes dulled back some so it was no longer scary for me (like then just looked half the way realer then the eyes usual fake eyes look). I think Jesse does not want me to be scared so I think he may of somehow maybe?? influenced how I was then picking up that.??? (I wish I'd thought to ask him.. unless my own mind at that point purposely cut back on what I was precieving so I could better cope with it).

That experience made me wonder if I'd get freaked out if I see Jesse standing near me like real. When I had Violet (my first tulpa) I experienced her standing by me but it was more in what I felt like a presence beside me and a strong knowing of exactly where she was and how she was. So I like didn't need to physically see her to feel as if she was physically there so actually never really thought much before now if I was perceiving her as if physically or not.

warning metaphysical - But that one (a long time ago now), the unknown who she was.. sorceress who manifested into the room and took Violet..that one (spirit or whatever that was???) appeared and was actually like physically real in my room, I would of thought she was a normal human had she not suddenly just appeared in front of me and not affected me like she did. I think I was more so scared then as it was a scary being (she chanted in some kind of magickal language which had all my hairs on my arms standing up and felt real powerful).. rather then the fact of something physical looking just suddenly appearing unexpectedly, so I think I should be fine if I see Jesse appear as if he's fully physical near me. It was just the eyes only thing which creeped me out but anyway.. it was like things were purposely toned down to me after I got scared today so I would not be scared. (with the incident with the sorceress, I left doing tulpa stuff for around 10 years as that scared me for so much!!!)
Jesse (human male) DOB 16th April 2013
Working on imposition
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#27
That's really neat! Also the sexual thing is very common.
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