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Tulpa Journal - Purebred System (Square, Pixie and Follery)
SquareWave Offline
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#1
 
Tulpa Journal - Purebred System (Square, Pixie and Follery)

Sort of a journal thread thing I’m keeping. I’ll try to update this with new posts daily. Or maybe not because I suck at daily schedules. 

Yesterday I didn’t have a lot of time to do a good forcing session. There was a lot of stressful family shit that I really didn’t ask for, so instead me and Pixie had 15-minute forcing session in bed. Unfortunately, it really didn’t feel like one because it was mostly parroting. 
I also got started drawing Pixie. So far it’s just the head, with no shading at all. Still got a bit of work to do, but here she is so far:
[Image: dM74Nz2.png]
...Yeah. Barely looks like what I had in mind just yet. I want to make the fur a bit scruffier and messy, but I know I’m not the best at art (especially at proportions and anatomy) so it’s pretty hard to come up with how I want to do this.

UPDATE: holy crap that image made everything ugly. Resized it to 256px so the site doesn’t stuff up.

Fun Facts:
1) I'm a furry.
2) I make video game music (and I’m on my way to getting paid for it!)
3) I'm the host of Pixie and Follery.
4) I get along with cats better than people.

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(This post was last modified: 03-13-2018, 03:01 AM by SquareWave.)
02-04-2018, 01:40 AM
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Heckhound Offline
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#2
 
RE: Tulpa journal thing

Pixie is very cute! And 15 minutes is better than nothing. You can always try again tomorrow.

Just a heads-up, people usually log this sort of stuff in the Progress Reports section. There, you'll find lots of threads for other people's progress and whatnot.

You can find it here.

pr // discord: Heckhound#6112
02-04-2018, 02:00 AM
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SquareWave Offline
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#3
 
RE: Tulpa journal thing

Oh, whoops! I absolutely did not see that section! Must’ve scrolled past it or something without realising... thanks!

Fun Facts:
1) I'm a furry.
2) I make video game music (and I’m on my way to getting paid for it!)
3) I'm the host of Pixie and Follery.
4) I get along with cats better than people.

[01110101 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100100 00100000 01101001 01110100]
02-04-2018, 02:21 AM
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SquareWave Offline
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#4
 
Tulpa journal thing

Sunday, 4th February.

Well, today’s forcing session was a little awkward, but also funny at the same time.

So me and Pixie were just sitting on the bed in my room, which is pretty much the only place I can be alone these days. I was listening to some binaural beats with my iPad through earphones so it was easier to get into a trance.

For the first few minutes, we talked about personal issues that I will NOT share here. Even though it was a bit angsty and emotional, it was also meaningful, and it showed how much Pixie cared for me (even if it were mostly parroting). Until we got interrupted by my mom coming in with my little sister to say goodnight, who was going to bed early (it was only 4:10!). So then I had to get myself in a trance all over again.

Slipping away from the real world again, me and Pixie continued talking about our issues, util we decided it was time to cheer up and play Chopsticks. She won. Honestly, it felt really good to finally lose at a game I kept winning all the time in real life. Then we got interrupted again, this time by a text message (which also stopped the binaural beats). At least this time it wasn’t as bad, and I was still lost-in-thought enough to keep going.

Then, we started talking about my favourite movie from my childhood, Madagascar. Pixie said she’d never heard of it, but was interested. So I decided I would have to show it to her some time. I thought maybe some day I could suggest we show Madagascar to my little sister, when in reality I was really trying to show Pixie. I yawned. She yawned. We were both a bit tired. I leaned in for a cuddle, and then by god-damn earphone fell out and the moment was ruined. Oh well, at least we both got a laugh from that!

Even though most of what Pixie said was still me parroting, I still felt like today’s forcing session was really fun and enjoyable. Haven’t made any progress on her drawing yet though, maybe I’ll do some more tonight.

Fun Facts:
1) I'm a furry.
2) I make video game music (and I’m on my way to getting paid for it!)
3) I'm the host of Pixie and Follery.
4) I get along with cats better than people.

[01110101 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100100 00100000 01101001 01110100]
02-04-2018, 06:38 AM
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dragon cake Offline
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#5
 
RE: Tulpa journal thing

I also have things I don't share in my public posts; if I feel they are relevant to my progress, I put them in my personal log and only post to here the parts I want to. Trance will get easier though the more you do it, so interruptions will become less of an issue.

If you're clear enough with her that you can play chopsticks, you've made more progress than I did for my first 30 days. It's okay that you only visualize her face I think. I guess the main thing would be the outfit, if any. Maybe find an outfit she'd like online and picture her in that. Kyoko has a really complex outfit, and at first I was worried it would cause issues, but I think it actually helped me focus on her to have more unique details. May or may not be different for you.

Glad to see you making progress though.
02-05-2018, 03:52 PM
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SquareWave Offline
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#6
 
RE: Tulpa journal thing

I’ve never really imagined Pixie with an outfit. She’s one of those furry characters who don’t need clothes because her fur does a good job of hiding her stuff anyway, but recently she has expressed interest in a new outfit last night. Apparently, she prefers something with no cleavage, magical and nothing mainstream. Additionally, she would have to wear something with no back so that her wings have some breathing room. It’ll be fun to come up with something she’d like. Anyway...

Tuesday 6th February.

Since I had school yesterday, I thought it would be hard to make space for some good forcing sessions. However, turns out it wasn’t as bad as I thought. All I had to do was passively force when I was riding my bike home from school, as well as during my free time. I sat on one of the chairs in our rumpus room and imagined Pixie snuggled up next to me as I was watching something on YouTube (although she wasn’t really that interested in what was going on in the video).

We also had a bit of a chat and laugh in the bath, although I can’t quite remember what we were talking about.

Last night in bed, we had probably one of the longest cuddles ever. Her embrace was so warm and soft, and she kept me really close to her. It was the sort of affection I’d never have with someone I knew before Pixie. It was wonderful.

During the dream I had, it was strange. I’m not sure what happened, but suddenly I saw an explosion of thoughts I assumed came from Pixie herself. If you ever ask me what led me to believe this, I’d say it was the huge amounts of the colour pink. This woke me up early. I looked at the time, and it was barely 11pm. I asked my tulpa if those thoughts were hers, and she said yes.

Then we cuddled again and I eventually fell asleep a second time.

The next morning on my way to school today, I imagined Pixie flying beside me as I rode my bike. I tried to use my mindvoice as I spoke to her whenever we went past a person as to not look strange. Eventually, we arrived at school, and as I dismounted Pixie landed on her feet(paws). I kept imagining her, this time walking beside me as I walked my bike to the area all the bikes go I’m not entirely sure it’s called.

That brings me up to now, writing this journal entry, as my mouse grows dangerously close to the “post reply” bu

Fun Facts:
1) I'm a furry.
2) I make video game music (and I’m on my way to getting paid for it!)
3) I'm the host of Pixie and Follery.
4) I get along with cats better than people.

[01110101 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100100 00100000 01101001 01110100]
02-05-2018, 10:53 PM
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dragon cake Offline
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#7
 
RE: Tulpa Journal - Pixie and Me

It's a good sign that Pixie was so specific about the outfit. It's also good that seemed so present throughout your day. I know you said you were jealous about me having a lucid dream due to my tulpa, but the fact that Pixie was able to interfere with your dream so spectacularly is a really good sign I think. Maybe come up with some kind of more subtle signal she can try. Falling asleep while mentally engaged with her probably helped too.
02-06-2018, 01:40 AM
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SquareWave Offline
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#8
 
RE: Tulpa Journal - Pixie and Me

(02-06-2018, 01:40 AM)dragon cake Wrote: It's a good sign that Pixie was so specific about the outfit. It's also good that  seemed so present throughout your day. I know you said you were jealous about me having a lucid dream due to my tulpa, but the fact that Pixie was able to interfere with your dream so spectacularly is a really good sign I think. Maybe come up with some kind of more subtle signal she can try. Falling asleep while mentally engaged with her probably helped too.

Thanks! Yeah, maybe we should try a sign that isn’t as abrupt and colourful. That was really unexpected and really woke me up! Maybe something to do with butterflies appearing in front of me?

Fun Facts:
1) I'm a furry.
2) I make video game music (and I’m on my way to getting paid for it!)
3) I'm the host of Pixie and Follery.
4) I get along with cats better than people.

[01110101 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100100 00100000 01101001 01110100]
02-06-2018, 02:12 AM
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SquareWave Offline
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#9
 
RE: Tulpa Journal - Pixie and Me

7th February (Day 5)
(Figured I’d start putting in the number of days I’ve been doing this.)

As said yesterday, I passive forced basically the whole day at school. I loved just imagined Pixie being there in my life, knowing that she’ll be by my side forever. We even raced each other home, although she was a little too quick for me. And by a little I mean a lot.

During last night’s forcing session, there was a bit of interruption from my sister having a tantrum about not being able to get to sleep.
And now, let me just take a moment to complain about the house design. Me and my sisters’ rooms are right next to each other, and her bed is placed in front of the wall between us. So whenever she starts banging the wall, the sound travels through to my room. (I suggested we move the bed to my mom the next morning)

So anyway, even though there was still interruption, me and Pixie still had a decent enough session together. We started at around 8:00 and aimed to finish at 8:30. That would be our goal.

We started by simply just cuddling in bed and saying whatever came into our minds. Although, she did most of the hugging. Pixie was feeling really affectionate that night. I just bathed in her embrace. During this time, I was feeling extremely hot, so I took my shirt off to cool down.

Next, because I had no idea what to talk about, I suggested that we go to her wonderland. So we held hands (or paws I guess) and felt each other slip into the wonderland. A colourful, hilly landscape with a pastel scheme. There was a town between some of the hills, so we decided to go there. Of course, Pixie flew, and I floated (because my fursona can do that).

We arrived just outside her house. She wanted to show me around, but I also wanted to see the town. So we decided that after showing me her house, we could explore elsewhere. Notably, her house was smaller than I thought it would be, but the exterior colours suited her.

Inside, it was paradise. Everything was so fluffy. The furniture, the walls, everything. The carpet looked like it should be a rug. Just... everything was covered in furry material. It was amazing. From the living room, to the kitchen, and finally, to Pixie’s bedroom. She showed me her wardrobe, to see that it was empty. It was because she hasn’t got any outfits to wear. It was a nice segue to putting some more thought into her outfit. Before long, we had the whole thing planned from head to toe.

After we were done, we came out of the wonderland and back in bed. It was 8:30. We reached our goal. I let Pixie stay overtime in bed if she wanted to, and she did. Then, after a train of thought, I remembered something from the night before when she chimed into one of my dreams. We decided on a different sign that Pixie was there, simply butterflies in front of me.

But we didn’t get a chance to test it out, because I never fell asleep until past 12:00. Even after taking a second sleeping pill, there was no sign of falling asleep. Maybe it was the heat or something. But still, it gave me a chance to think a lot about Pixie and how I force. She hasn’t surprised me with anything, and most of what she said came from me. But then I came to the conclusion that maybe it was Pixie putting her thoughts in my head, restoring my hope.

I should get around to drawing Pixie’s new outfit so I can show you all. It’s great.

Fun Facts:
1) I'm a furry.
2) I make video game music (and I’m on my way to getting paid for it!)
3) I'm the host of Pixie and Follery.
4) I get along with cats better than people.

[01110101 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100100 00100000 01101001 01110100]
02-06-2018, 10:13 PM
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SquareWave Offline
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#10
 
RE: Tulpa Journal - Pixie and Me

8th February (Day 6)

Yesterday was a bit harder than usual. I spent most of my time in the Tulpa Tavern discord socialising with fellow tulpamancers and getting some tips. It’s been great to learn a bit more about tulpae. And I’ve just realised I don’t want just one tulpa, but a group of them. For now though, I’m just gonna focus on Pixie, and develop her a bit more before deciding to create another.

Last night’s forcing session was pretty difficult. I found it pretty hard to focus on Pixie well. It was probably a combination of the heat, being tired, and my little sister’s usual screaming which I SWEAR is gonna drive me mad if I weren’t going to my dad’s house today.

So I’ll just run you through how it went. First we talked about Pixie going onto Discord for the first time and talking to either fellow tulpamancers or my real-life friends (although the latter would inevitably be skeptical about it, and probably make fun of us). She was excited, and is looking forward to meeting everyone. Which I’m pretty glad about. She’s definitely not an anti-social tulpa, which is probably a good thing.

Then we visited the wonderland again, and went in her house. We talked and cuddled a bit, and also talked a little about her outfit. She liked it, but since we never officially decided on a colour scheme for it, it kinda flashed between two different colours. We decided that we’d come up with some colour schemes the next day (aka today) and choose the one that Pixie liked best.

During this time in her house I decided to try the popular “Surprise Me!” method of confirming sentience. It didn’t quite work very well, and I kinda started doubting myself afterwards. Mixed with the little girl’s screaming in the next room all throughout, and the difficulties of getting Pixie to achieve sentience, I was frustrated and doubtful. It was usually easy to have a positive outlook on things, but not that night.

Later, I collected myself. I knew that some of the thoughts I had during forcing sessions definitely belonged to Pixie, so she had *some* level of sentience. But she’s not quite there yet. I trust that hopefully she’ll be able to do the “Surprise Me!” test some other time. I have a lot of faith in her.

Fun Facts:
1) I'm a furry.
2) I make video game music (and I’m on my way to getting paid for it!)
3) I'm the host of Pixie and Follery.
4) I get along with cats better than people.

[01110101 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100100 00100000 01101001 01110100]
02-07-2018, 10:50 PM
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