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Tulpa or imaginary friend?


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So...I figured this would be the most appropriate place to ask this. I've been around since late December and it's now late March, and my main tulpa has been alive since December 21st.

 

Having a serious crisis of faith, though. I'm finally in a place where I have time and peace to concentrate on my tulpa, and now I'm having doubts as to whether or not this is all a delusion/imaginary friend or if I really have a tulpa. I have a wonderland, but I can't immerse myself in it as far as some people here can. I can not hear her with my ears, I can only hear her mindvoice (Which sounds like mine sometimes still, but for the most part she has her own voice, I just have to focus on hearing it). I have never seen my tulpa or had any flashes of her, despite training imposition a lot. I worry that rather than a tulpa, I have an imaginary friend. A lot of people on this board say that there are a lot of roleplayers/people who think they have tulpa but don't on this board.

 

We haven't been able to do much tulpa magic so far, except she's been able to possess my limbs at times (Not sure if it's just me though...) and she is sometimes able to remember things that I'm trying to remember. She can sometimes surprise me with her actions, although it's rare. Sometimes when confronted with a decision she will opt for a different opinion from me. She does not laugh at the same things I do. We are able to have conversations, but sometimes it feels like...I dunno, like I'm not talking to her, or it's not real.

 

I guess, long story short, tl;dr, I am working on a tulpa, she's three months old, and because I haven't been doing things 'right' (I barely active force, only recently trying to look into meditation or self-hypnosis) and because she hasn't actually done anything except be a separate but supportive mindvoice and friend, I am having doubts as to whether she is actually a tulpa or if I have deluded myself into thinking an imaginary friend is a tulpa.

 

Sorry for the stupid question, I wanna believe but I'm the type that needs external validation on certain things.

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This is the most crucial part to tulpamancing. The key here is perception. Starting out, it will seem like that to us, tulpas are new but imaginary friends are not. For some reason its hard to say "screw it" and just go with it. Its vital you fix that. The more you work on it the more and more detached it'll feel. Three months is nothing, 9 months is nothing. Tulpas take longer times than we'd like. All we can do is trust in the community that we all have been through this phase and a few have prevailed enough.

Progress report

"You'll have a Tulpa because you didn't give up" -Koomer

 

 

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That all sounds perfectly normal for a tulpa.

I come out of hibernation once in a blue moon.

 

They/them pronouns, please. (I've been using this display name since 2012 and people won't recognize me if I change it.)

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How do you separate a tulpa from an imaginary friend? The distinction isn't clear. You might tell me that a tulpa is sentient while an imaginary friend isn't, but how can you truly verify that? You might say that a tulpa is truly autonomous and free-thinking, but if your imaginary friend appears to be then who can tell?

That aside, you seem to have mistaken the progress of others. To tell you the truth, what you've got is pretty decent for 3 months. Not many people here have nailed visual imposition, and the same goes for auditory voice. You've got some possession as well, so that's a plus.

These things take time, imposition especially. But don't worry about authenticity; even if it were a verifiable concern, I could tell you that your experiences are normal. So yes, you have a tulpa. If you're worried about not doing anything, then go and do things instead of becoming unsure about what you've already achieved.

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Thanks guys, for everything.

 

We do stuff, like we watch TV together, read stuff together, talk, etc, it's just not the typical 'forcing' stuff, so it feels like development is sorta slow. Iunno. I guess we are doing fairly well then, and maybe she really is a tulpa and I'm just being a bit insecure. I mean...well, I'm gonna try and stop the doubting now. I have good days and bad =P We're gonna keep on trying to improve and I'm gonna try to devote more time each day to just focusing on her rather than trying to passive force all the time.

 

Again, thanks you guys, for everything y'all said. I appreciate it.

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Guest bourbonowns

Thanks guys, for everything.

 

We do stuff, like we watch TV together, read stuff together, talk, etc, it's just not the typical 'forcing' stuff, so it feels like development is sorta slow. Iunno. I guess we are doing fairly well then, and maybe she really is a tulpa and I'm just being a bit insecure. I mean...well, I'm gonna try and stop the doubting now. I have good days and bad =P We're gonna keep on trying to improve and I'm gonna try to devote more time each day to just focusing on her rather than trying to passive force all the time.

 

Again, thanks you guys, for everything y'all said. I appreciate it.

 

It might not seem like it but forcing is waaay more powerful than just narrating to your tulpa.

 

I had a similar situation, I've had my tulpa for just about 6 months and around month 4 I noticed she was getting harder to see, hear, and feel unless I was baked. I was worried that our connection was dependent on weed but then I remembered I hadn't forced in a while, I resumed forcing daily, few days later and I noticed a lot of benefits.

 

Just sit your ass down without any distractions for 15 minutes every few days, it helped me a lot. When there is no other distraction it becomes very obvious how real your tulpa is.

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...imposition a lot. I worry that rather than a tulpa, I have an imaginary friend. A lot of people on this board say that there are a lot of...

 

Protip: Use varied diction, it makes things easier to read. In the case of "a lot", use words like 'much" and "many".

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I plan on doing just that, Bourbon. I recently moved and before I moved I was in a situation where doing anything without distractions was simply impossible. Now that I am in a place where I have peace for extended periods each day I can focus on my tulpa and try to do so, but I also have a humongous backlog of games, movies, and literature that I had to put on hold on account of the situation I was in before. I'm also trying to get one of those night-mask blindfold things so I can force during the day because I lived in a darker home before which was a better environment for getting in a groove. My new place has windows in every room and is very bright so unless it's night time (Which is a poor time for me to force) it just doesn't happen.

 

Is that really necessary, Lacquer? Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the tip and have noticed that flaw in my writings, but I hardly think this is the time or place for a critique of my admittedly poor writing skills =P But thank you anyways.

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Your situation and your progress is very similar to my own...

 

I started around the same time,

my prgress, experience, and results are similar to what you described,

I'll also be moving soon to an environment that should be better for forcing,

and I have the same humongous backlog of other things you speak of.

 

I could just as well have writen this thread myself.

 

So...

As for how normal your progress is, I'd say it's spot on, given that I'm going through the same thing.

Also, I will be lurking this thread for advice for myself, so thanks for making it.

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Guest bourbonowns

...night-mask blindfold things so I can force during the day because I lived in a darker home before which was a better environment...

 

I used to only force in the dark too but once you get used to closed eye visualization you should find a way to work into open eye visualization, it's how you impose your tulpa eventually.

 

Imagine an object on your desk or whatever that isn't actually there, like a cold can of pop or something. Can you see it? Can you feel the condensation on the cold can? Can you feel the metal finish? Once you can imagine objects in high detail it's easy to do it with your tulpa too, and after months of imagining the same tulpa form, it's no longer a chore to visualize their entire, detailed body.

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