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Tulpae, Depression and ECT


acparker

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Hello,

 

My name is Adam, and I have been doing a LOT of reading in the past 24 hours. In answer to prayer I have felt drawn to creating an alternate personality. Researching the topic led me here. And what I have read has been both encouraging and vexing.

 

I have read through a couple of the creation guides and some of the threads, especially those talking about depression. But I am still feeling undecided about whether this is the way I should proceed, or if I should look elsewhere. I want to know whether or not a Tulpa could provide the interactions and/or services that I want.

 

Background: I am over 40 years old, and have suffered from depression from childhood. Basically, between Dysthymic and Major Depressive episodes, I have been depressed for 30 years. I have gotten very good at hiding it behind a mask of charisma and humor. But faking it till you make it hasn't worked for me. I am seeing two psychiatrists, have tried at least one form of each of the major anti-depressants (MAOI, Tricyclic, SSRI, SNRI) and a couple of the atypical ones without any help. I have had ECT in the past, and will be starting another session of 12, 3 times a week, on Monday. I have been suicidal in the past, and while not currently suicidal, I end up thinking about suicide very frequently. (Read, at least 2 or 3 times a day.)

 

What I am looking for is a Tulpa who:

 

a. Can/will ease the burden on my wife by providing love and support.

b. Can/will help counter the (very) negative self-thoughts about myself.

c. Take over (switch?) with prior permission to prevent self-harm and/or suicidal actions.

 

The basic personality traits that I would be looking to instill would be kind, caring, patient, loyal and protective.

 

I was thinking that the time before and especially after the ECT treatment would be an excellent time to work on the creation. (forcing?) Given the more open-minded effect of the ECT (or anesthetic) that I noticed during the previous rounds. Also, it would give me something to do during the seemingly interminable 3 hour monitoring period afterward.

 

Thank you in advance for your help and advice. It is greatly appreciated. Also, feel free to ask any questions you want.

 

Sincerely,

 

Adam

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Apparently it is good for depression, thought it might be faster to get rid of depression with something like meditation. There's not exact telling when the tulpa exercise would pan out. I don't see why one couldn't do both.

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Guest amber5885

It sounds like you want to create a multiple personality and not a tulpa. While a tulpa can switch with you after they have been developed I'm not so sure that a tulpa is what you're lookin for.

 

They do help with some of these issue but it's not a fix and to create another person with the intent that they would basically be serving you in a way is not really fair to the tulpa you are creating.

 

Also with ECT, I don't know that a tulpa can survive that. There really hasn't been any research done on them and that is a pretty hardcore procedure.

 

I guess you could try it but a tulpa is a companion and another person not a seperate personality. In my opinion I don't think a tulpa will help you in the way that you want it to help you.

 

Toby wants to say something about it.

 

Toby: we can and do help with depression in that we help you to combat your issues. We don't fix anything we talk you trough it.

 

Look if I found out that I was create to basically provide a service as is what you are describing I would be pissed.

 

It wouldn't have been fair to me and honestly I would Probobly refuse to help.

 

Now if you wanted to create a friend that can be there for YOU then it's no problem. You might benifit from having someone to help talk you through depressive episodes, I know amber did and she nearly doesn't have them anymore but she did 90% of the work on her own. I just stood by her side and that's most of the support we offer.

 

A lot of times having a friend that has your back can be enough to get through the bad times and if that's what you want by all means tulpa it up,

 

But no it won't "fix" your depression, it'll just be a companion.

 

And it most likely won't offer you an escape or a companion for your wife nor is that ethical in my opinion todo.

 

You might benifit from meditation, active hobbies or maybe even a guys night out.

 

Best of luck to you man.

 

(Toby is my tulpa btw)


As far as self harm have you tried holding an ice cube in your hand? I used to cut and burn A LOT but someone, I don't remember who suggested holding an ice cube in the palm of my hand when I wanted to hurt myself or flicking a rubber band against my wrist.

 

The ice cube worked for me. I haven't don't any of that in nearly 10 years now. Maybe give it a go.


This is a long one haha. Don't expect your tulpa to help with your wife. Take that out of the equation BUT it can provide moral support during your suicidal episodes or depressive episodes.

 

I'm not saying its a fix. Please please please don't neglect the treatment you are getting but maybe it could help to talk you out of some more damaging behaviors and suggest some good things for you and your life.

 

I don't think they can switch to stop you from hurting yourself. You can try but I wouldn't trust my actual life to the possibility that it might work, that's a gamble that's not worth it in my opinion but if you want someone who can e there for you, talk you through the bad times and help you better yourself then sure give it a try.

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Thank you Jackson, Amber and Toby for your replies. I screwed up. Despite my best efforts, I managed to give the wrong impression. Just once, I wish I could get it right the FIRST time. Let me try to clarify, although it's quite likely I'm just sticking my foot further into my mouth.

 

I am not looking at the Tulpa as a fix or cure for my depression. I don't think that's possible. I don't think there is ANY cure for my depression, and I am looking for ways to continue to cope. With or without a Tulpa, I have no intention of stopping my treatments.

 

I was, I am, thinking of the Tulpa as a separate entity, a friend, a trustworthy confidant, someone I could talk to, who would care about me, and treat me lovingly, someone who could help distract me from the constant negativity in my stream of consciousness. Perhaps even point out, from their point of view, the good. Someone who would love me enough to figuratively grab the knife away from me and/or hold me down until the suicidal feeling passes by whatever means a Tulpa can use. ECT helps prevent that from happening, but if it does, it would be nice to have this extra help. It's better than nothing, which is what I have now.

 

If I could that, that is what would help my wife. Right now, she is basically the only support I can trust, and it's wearing her out. It would be of great help, and ease the burden she is carrying if I could find another trustworthy companion to confide my feelings in. So that it's not just her.

 

I can only hope that that's clearer. I pray I didn't offend.

 

Sincerely,

 

Adam

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Guest amber5885

In those terms then absolutely a tulpa can help you and I would highly recommend it.

 

Now a tulpa can't physically stop you from hurting yourself. I am aware of possession and all that jaz but I'm trying to be down to earth about this and I don't think that saying even with posession a tulpa can do that would be responsible of me,

 

What I can provide is personal experiance.

 

I just got out of a series of bad events an it left me horribly depressed and there wasn't a day that didn't go by that I didn't think about ending it.

 

Toby never once told me not to do it. What he did do was listen. He cared and he offered me advice like my personal favorite. "okay I know you want to die but how about this, you put down the pills and we go watch wreck it ralph and if by the end of it you still REALLY wanna die I won't stop you. All I ask is for one movie with you."

 

It always worked. And over time my days became brighter, I smiled more and even the people around me notice my attitude changing.

 

All he did was talk to me. Listen to me or make me go outside or watch a movie when all I wanted was To die and now it's been two months since my last episode and I'm the girl that sings while she works and brings cookies in for everyone at work.

 

I can't promise the same experiance. But that is what Toby did for me so yes I do think that a tulpa can offer you a cubic butt ton of support and if you wouldn't mind keeping a progress report in the forum here I would LOVE to see how ECT effects a tulpa.

 

If you need any help or advice feel free to pm me any time, even if it's not tulpa related. I know what it's like to need a friend.

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