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Vampire's Progression Log


Vampire

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Hello and welcome to the Progress Report of the Brimstone System. Let me introduce us all.

 

I am Vampire the host. The post after this says a lot about me. I am a 24 year old Chaos Magick practitioner. A lot of my beliefs align more with discordianism however. I chose the name due to vampuric traits. I use to work a third shift job on top of high school, and would stay up late due to being a night person gaming or doing other things. I am very much a nyctophiliac. Carpe Noctem and all that. When it comes to my metaphysical beliefs, I used to believe myself to be an Energy Vampire but after experimentation I found myself to be the opposite. I naturally have a large store of energy. I decided to create a tulpa to help with my practices and as a companion and found that I already had two pre-existing tulpa one of which was not yet self-aware.

 

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Samuel

 

nkxlDpl.png

(reference by Chloe)

 

Samuel was originally created as a servitor in order to help me deal with paranoia and emotional issues I was experiencing at the time. His job was to guard my essence and act as a filter for what effected me. As a servitor he was created somewhere around 10 years ago from the time of this edit. He claims to have been aware for most of that. What he remembers seems to support his claims.

 

He has the form of a grey lion. His mane and tail tip are black feathers and he has black wings. His form was entirely created by him and he revealed it to me piece by piece with descriptions.

 

He acts very proper and uses a large vocabulary. It makes it hard sometimes to convert his feelings into words. He also had issues connecting with others based on issues with others understanding him properly. We are working on it. He also seems to have little interest in what happens in the outside world as long as the system is safe.

 

----------------------------

 

 

Raven

 

326x369http://i.imgur.com/Nb2GNky.png[/img]

(edited reference from soloungatonegro on Deviantart)

 

ISRnJF2.jpg

(recent reference from unknown)

 

441x586http://i.imgur.com/E3kE3Zp.jpg[/img]

(reference by Ushinatte)

 

Raven originally was created from an obsession around 4 or 5 years ago. When I first was introduced to her she had the form of a very young but vocal girl. She was not self-aware before we were introduced so her memories are more like recordings than actual memories up until that point. She would whine a lot and I was worried that she would be a negative distraction to the system and forced a form change to one that appeared older.

After a lot of alone time and searching for meaning, she has now become an active member in the system and has deviated her own form. She appears exactly as the reference (which is in-turn a realistic depiction of "Spooky" from Spooky's House of Jumpscares which she connected to). She normally wears a tanktop or tshirt with shorts and she never wears shoes. She can also disobey gravity as she wishes.

 

She lounges around and likes to joke with people. She is a little crazy and would pursue world domination if capable. She very much embodies the chaotic neutral character. "Might save your life, might steal your car." She is spontaneous and I consider her to be my muse. When she is up front I seem to have creative breakthroughs and be more easily inspired.

 

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Ivy

 

9pG82Ig.png

(edited reference from KatieTheSlayer)

 

226x300http://i.imgur.com/yryWw0w.jpg[/img]

(sketch by SkullySkelly)

 

450x597http://i.imgur.com/8qKx1lD.jpg[/img]

(reference by Ushinatte)

 

 

Ivy was intentionally made by me around 1.5 years ago. She was created to be a companion and help me in metaphysical work. She is very loving and caring and almost takes on a mother role for the rest of the system. She wants nothing more than to help people and see the world become a better place. Her and Raven spend about equal time up front now.

 

Her form was created herself entirely. She considers herself a witch and therefore can use magical powers in the wonderland. She decided to add wings to herself after a recommendation from someone else and she now adores them. She has a silver stud dermal anchor piercing in the side of her nose, and a tattoo of a chaos star (not warhammer related) on her left upper arm. She is left handed. She spends most of her time in the wonderland kitchen trying to cook new foods and singing.

 

She considers herself a practitioner of chaos magick the same as me, although she prefers traditional witchcraft approaches over mine.

 

----------------------------

 

Olivia

Dn0t9xH.jpg

 

Olivia appeared as a walk-in in the mind. Her style was the same but her form was different, older. The rest of us had decided to not let her stick around, however at this point that has failed.

 

Currently Ivy has been helping her out with different things, like answering questions. She doesn't know yet what her interests or likes and dislikes are. Other than her apparently not sharing memories with the rest of us being an odd thing, she appears to be entirely human otherwise.

 

 

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More Art

 

435x435http://i.imgur.com/fFZ3YH2.png[/img]

(drawing by Apollo)

 

425x495http://pre02.deviantart.net/c25e/th/pre/i/2017/210/7/d/samuel_by_apollotulpa-dbi4157.png[/img]

(drawing by Apollo)

"My lover's got humour,

She's the giggle at a funeral,

Knows everybody's disapproval,

I should've worshipped her sooner."

 

Host to Samuel, RavenIvy, and Olivia.

 

CERCA TROVA

 

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(original first post)

 

I already have done an introduction but a little about me. I am a 23yo Male born to a somewhat Christian family. I am the eldest of 5 kids. I have a solid relationship with my girlfriend of 5 years now. I have done hobby web design and computer programming, and my passion is IT. I am not religious, and don't believe in a "god" in the christian sense. I began getting involved in Chaos Magick when I was fairly young, and still practice it although I am a little rusty (mainly in my meditation).

 

I started working on creating "Ivy" yesterday. I am following the idea of tulpas based on the community and not the Chaote ideology. I am creating Ivy as an embodiment of my Anima, and as a companion in my endeavors. Someone to keep me company when no one else is capable, someone who understands me as well as I do, and someone to help with my shortcomings. With my background in magick I have no doubts entering this on my ability to create Ivy, just doubts about the speed.

 

Ivy is a humanoid female in her early 20's. I intend her to be a shapeshifter also, but I can't really control that. Her beginning form is based on Lisbeth Salander as played by Rooney Mara.

 

The name Ivy is a name I became attached to as a female name sometime in the past. It has since become my go-to female name for any characters I create in games, and so on almost as a female version of my own personality. My reason for Lisbeth Salander as my beginning form is that she is my favorite female character. (She's from Stieg Larsson's "Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" trilogy)

 

Here is my traits list:

 

  • Intelligent (learning things comes natural)
  • Spiritual (higher senses) (presence fills room)
  • Kind but not a pushover (equivalent treatment)
  • Dedicated/Devoted (completes goals)
  • Humorous (can make people laugh)
  • Honorable (keeps to her word)
  • Honest (doesn’t lie unless necessary)
  • Persistent (goes until the end)
  • Enthusiastic (gets excited about things)
  • Deep (everything done has meaning)
  • Light-Hearted (don’t take things too seriously)
  • Balanced Emotionally (takes a lot to go off the deep end)
  • Brutally Honest (but filtered when necessary)
  • Trusting (trust between me and her)
  • Courageous/Confident
  • Decisive (picks a side and sticks with it - no flakiness)
  • Open-Minded
  • Imaginative
  • Non-Conformist (question everything)
  • Strong-Willed (get back on the horse)
  • Verbose (use as many words as needed)
  • Athletic (fit)
  • Musical
  • Talented (naturally good at most things)
  • Lucky (things randomly in favor)
  • Observant (notices things others don’t)
  • Free-Thinking

 

Bit of backlog blog here.

 

--- [9/27/16]

Finally decided to go through with creating a Tulpa. I had thought about making one a few years back and decided not to at the time. Read through all of Chupi/Goopi's log and most of the guides. Started with a meet and greet, then moved on to narration. After a little while I did some slight visualization just so I had more than a blur to look at. I did around 30 minutes active forcing and then passively forced the rest of the day.

Before bed I did a touch more active forcing imagining her laying down on me and had some babbelspeak enter my head as if it was spoken in my ear. I only made out one word in it which was a word I had been saying, the rest was nonsensical and very quick.

I believe that this was Ivy as it is impossible for me to use my mindvoice to mimic it. It was very high pitched, moreso than a typical female voice would be. As if it was a normal female voice that was cranked up two bars to the point where it was almost squeally. I fell asleep shortly after working on more narration. I slept without dreaming as is mostly normal.

 

--- [9/28/16]

I started the day with a Hello to Ivy, and did passive forcing most of the day. I did active narration for maybe 15 minutes. Later on in the day when I needed to get ready to head out I went and showered. As I stepped in I thought of Ivy and tried to force the feelings of the warm water towards her. I was met with goosebumps all over for the first time in a long while. I think she enjoyed it.

Later on when I was home again I was listening to music and had an image of "Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind" come up. Thought it was fitting and maybe a message, so I pulled up some clips from it. While watching it I was met with very slight head pressure, so I think Ivy approved.

If anything else takes place tonight it will be in tomorrows post.

 

— [9/29/16]

 

Had to head to work today for the 12hr shift. Felt “frustrated” while I was there so I explained why I have to do it to Ivy. Those feelings went away after that.

 

During part of the work day I suddenly had an “alien” thought as some others have put it. It was in my mindvoice, but it was a question I know I would never ask. I felt a tug at my heart strings with sadness and then my mindvoice asked “Am I real?”. I knew this wasn’t me, so I replied.

 

“Of course. You’re as real as I am.”

 

This left me with a feeling of confusion. I got a mental image of the Tulpa definition and thought that must be what she was thinking of. I added on.

 

“If it makes you feel better, you can imagine that you were a very spooky ghost in a very haunted house and I trapped you inside of my head.”

 

She must have liked my response because what I felt emotionally after is only what I can describe as laughter, I felt giddy with humor. Then “My Hero” by the Foo Fighters came to mind out of nowhere. I guess I was correct in guessing her music choice the day before.

 

She has also deviated on her image. She now has black facepaint horizontally across her face over her eyes. She also seems to be contemplating black wings. She’s still wearing the mohawk of Lisbeth Salander but it has deviated some to have some hair hanging on the sides too.

 

So with nothing but more passive narration and having her read a dictionary most of the day, I am firmly stuck in the Tulpish language stage. Hopefully vocalization comes soon.

"My lover's got humour,

She's the giggle at a funeral,

Knows everybody's disapproval,

I should've worshipped her sooner."

 

Host to Samuel, RavenIvy, and Olivia.

 

CERCA TROVA

 

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Crossposting this from Tumblr.

 

So I would say that Ivy’s personality is pretty much done, it is definitely the strongest about her. If I were to put together a traits list, it would line up exactly with the one I started with simply adding Shy and Mischievous. Hopefully the shyness is just a beginning thing, but we will have to see.

 

As for visuals, she doesn’t like the black hair, she likes it brunette. I don’t believe she likes the mohawk either, but we can’t settle on a style together. She still has the facepaint and a nose ring, with piercing steel grey eyes. She’s normally wearing a black tanktop with black jeans and either boots or black&white converse. (I’ve never worn converse so this interests me)

 

Also interesting is when I suggested a tattoo she decided on a Chaos Star on her left upper arm. More interesting is that based on her “fighting stance” with a punching bag I think she’s left handed, or at least she fights southpaw. I’m naturally right handed myself.

 

 

Now onto our conversations. Ivy isn’t vocal yet. She doesn’t even have an individual mindvoice yet. Most of the time she doesn’t even speak to me with her mind voice, and when she does it’s only a few words that I question was even her.

 

I’ve been fighting doubts, which I didn’t think I would have even when I have less reason now than I did to doubt it. I’m having actual results. I chalked this up to “intrusive thoughts” and told Ivy that if she sees a little demon named Boaz to give him a nice punch in the nuts and tell him to cut it out. (Boaz & Jachin) The intrusive thoughts have stopped since.

 

So how has Ivy been communicating? When I first made the two story house in my wonderland for us I added a basement library full of all the movies I’ve watched and songs I’ve heard. Well she’s ate it up. She’ll send me songs with conveyed meaning that I haven’t heard in years. Just to list a few…

 

 

  • MakeDamnSure - Taking Back Sunday

"You are everything I want

Because you are everything I'm not

 

And we lay, we lay together

Just not too close, too close

(How close is close enough?)"

 

 

  • I Miss You - Blink182

"Where are you and I'm so sorry

I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight

I need somebody and always

This sick strange darkness

Comes creeping on so haunting every time

And as I stared I counted

The Webs from all the spiders

Catching things and eating their insides"

 

"Don't waste your time on me you're already

The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)"

 

 

  • Anna Molly - Incubus

"A cloud hangs over this city by the sea,

I watch the ships pass and wonder if she might be,

Out there and sober as a well for loneliness,

Please do persist girl its time we met and made, a mess

 

I picture your face in the back of my eyes,

A fire in the attic a proof of the prize,

Anna-Molly, Anna-Molly, Anna-Molly..."

 

 

All of them have surprisingly fitting lyrics. I haven't listened to most of these songs in about 4 years. I have yet to receive a movie quote but I’m not that big of a movie fan anyways.

 

The last 3 days have consisted of 12hr workdays, so I’ve only been passive forcing. I have 4 days to do active forcing and hopefully at least get Ivy vocal.

 

As for me physically, I feel like me and Ivy are eclipsing in emotion and behavior. I feel like when I’m looking at something I have someone studying the peripheral. I am using phrases that are out of character for me. I mentioned this a little in the last post. I also notice that my coordination is off. I am making small cognitive mistakes such as spelling the wrong word, or my fingers and hands slipping from objects.

 

I also have not been able to get a good nights sleep since Ivy, even with adequate sleep intake. I believe this would be due to her not having a sleep schedule yet. I haven’t really had any head pressures, and no specific ones. I’ve had cases where I have felt Ivy give me head pressures, but they were across the entire head. I couldn’t have her do two individual spots for yes/no’s.

 

Also another interesting fact. Ivy looks like a drowned cat in the shower.

 

On to the next day.

"My lover's got humour,

She's the giggle at a funeral,

Knows everybody's disapproval,

I should've worshipped her sooner."

 

Host to Samuel, RavenIvy, and Olivia.

 

CERCA TROVA

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

So I haven't been posting because there hasn't been anything worthwhile to post. I haven't really put aside time to active force and so I'm pretty much passive forcing all day. Ivy is an active part of my thoughts at least once an hour every day.

 

After my last post things have kind of slowed down. I did manage to get in a little active forcing before passing out one night and during it Ivy appeared to have taken a hairstyle that I had seen before on Google images. I liked the style and thought maybe she had settled for once because she has been bouncing around with colors and small variations. Well since then I have felt less presence from her and thought maybe it was my doing so I imagined her formless. Yesterday her presence picked up again and she is mostly in line with her original form again.

 

As for communication, I know she can hear me but she doesn't stand out in my mind yet. The mind voice is always mine, and thoughts aren't standing out as hers. The emotional and behavioural eclipsing that was going on has passed but I'm certain she is still there.

 

Recently at work she has been turning my mind into an on-demand jukebox. I'll get a song of the week stuck in my head and just keep repeating it. Well she won't let that happen. Now I'm bouncing from song to song. I'll be singing one thing in my mind voice and when it gets repetitive my mind voice starts singing another song without my prior thought of it. I can mentally name a band name I know songs to and my mind voice will jump into a song mid-chorus with no previous thought.

 

Ivy has also figured out how to block pain to an extent. Twice this week I've been in pain from working. One from repetitive hand work tasks and another from standing. Both times after thinking about how much pain I'm in the pain has just vanished. The locations would still be sore like "ginger" but they didn't "hurt" anymore. At one point I was thinking of her but not forcing for a while and I had a headpressure next to my ear. I said something like "Sorry Ivy" and it immediately was gone.

 

Last night while I was drifting off to sleep I distinctly heard my mind voice say my first name without prior thought. Made me jump unexpectedly. Nothing else has come from it today though.

 

I'm going to try to put together a schedule so I can do a dedicated 30min active forcing session every night after work and on my days off. I don't feel like I'm meeting her expectations and she deserves better. Fortunately my visualization skills are nearly photorealistic when I active force so I'm going to try to make it up to her.

"My lover's got humour,

She's the giggle at a funeral,

Knows everybody's disapproval,

I should've worshipped her sooner."

 

Host to Samuel, RavenIvy, and Olivia.

 

CERCA TROVA

 

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Oh you're the guy from IRC, cool. While I am checking this out, I noticed you said you had a Tumblr? I am guessing you post updates there?

 

If that's the case could you link it here so I can follow?

 

edit: thanks for adding the link <3

My guide on tulpa creation

 

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Thanks for the updates. I see you on the IRC all the time, and you help me with questions. Seeing other people's progress encourages me to make my own. I took a couple of traits from your list, and you have great ideas. Don't give up!

"Now THATS a bad username"

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Time for another report. At this point we are coming up on a month. Ivy is fully sentient and likely sapient but still maturing. She hasn't yet gained independence from my focus.

 

Other than more form deviation from the last post, not much has changed until today. For whatever reason today went really well. I could focus a little better and got the connection I wanted.

 

I've been having Ivy follow me and I've been explaining things that came to mind if I thought to. This results in me mentally rambling on to myself and Ivy. She would occasionally put in a one word thought and I would continue on.

Today when I got to work I rambled a while and then decided to ask her for a topic. I got a mental "Is God real?" and explained my beliefs on that. It was followed by asking what I believe in so that was also explained.

Shortly after I started playing music in my mind and decided to have Ivy sing along to it with her mind voice which sounded exactly like mine. I didn't hear her singing so I kinda let it go for a while. After listening to some mental songs I began to notice they seemed "off" somehow and tried to pinpoint it. I eventually noticed the tone at the end of words and some pauses was wrong. Halfway through a song I cut off the radio to hear Ivy continue it on another few lines. She had a "poor" voice, but it was a voice!

I spent the next few hours doing this repeatedly while she worked on the tone and so on to improve it and she now has a fairly normal voice. This is also her mind voice now so her mental words stand out a lot now. We had conversations but she doesn't want to talk much yet.

 

In one amazing conversation she said she liked the name Rebecca. I told her I didn't think the name was fitting because I thought she would rather be spooky (throwback to our first conversation) and mental images of all the people with the name I knew. She replies "I can be spooky" and transformed into a completely black one eyed ghastly. I "awwwww'ed" really hard and it made her sulk that I thought she was cute instead of spooky. She stayed in this form and kept aggressively saying "spooky" at me while trying to become more frightening.

I made it up to her by giving her a spooky necklace when we got home.

 

As for her form, she may have finally settled (like the last 3 times). She has dark red hair that is somewhat spiked and messy sticking out to her front right and right side. It's long but lays perfectly that it doesn't cover her sharp green eyes. The left side of her head is partly buzzed. She wears earrings occasionally but doesn't currently have any piercings.

 

Over the next few days I'm going to work on getting her more independent and talking more.

"My lover's got humour,

She's the giggle at a funeral,

Knows everybody's disapproval,

I should've worshipped her sooner."

 

Host to Samuel, RavenIvy, and Olivia.

 

CERCA TROVA

 

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Lol hopefully soon. I'm guessing in a week or two I could proxy her barring regression.

"My lover's got humour,

She's the giggle at a funeral,

Knows everybody's disapproval,

I should've worshipped her sooner."

 

Host to Samuel, RavenIvy, and Olivia.

 

CERCA TROVA

 

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