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Vinyl and Jakes Birdhouse


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Hello everyone. Jake here. Im going to tell you about my wonderful tulpa Vinyl who is dead now.

 

I started creating Vinyl in late 2011 after a goggle for some psycological stuff lead me to FAQmans guide. After deciding the form and personality traits i got to work. In late January 2012 Vinyl spoke for the first time. I remember that i was so shocked i acctaly fell off my chair. We lived together for a couple of months, where i imposed her, during which Vinyl tryed and failed to make some online friends. At this time she was almost unbareablely child like. Always wanting to play games and very energetic.

 

Around March, i think, we heard about 4chan and its pony bourd. Vinyl, still wanting to make friends, reasoned that this would be the perfect place to make some friends. Not long after this the /mlp/ tulpa threads started popping up and we dived in head first. Around this time i started to see some changes in Vinyl. She was getting less playful and more serious. I have since learned that tuplas do got thru this marturing phase. It was in these threads that we met FAQman and Lyranon, as well as many others.

 

Vinyl and I quickly became good friends with Lyranon and spoke to him lots. Vinyl was never happier than after she had made her first true friend.

 

Around April the /mlp/ threads started dieing so we moved to tulpa.info

At this time Vinyl went from serious to trolling. She loved to play tricks on me.

Here at tulpa.info Vinyl met other tulpas and loved to read the forums.

 

Late April-Early May Vinyl changed again from trolling to loving. Not long after we started having the tulpa secks. Also in early May, i think, Vinyl changed physicly from a normal pony to a anthro pony with arms and hands and feet.

 

After that we lived a fairly happy life together. I had managed to get my life out of the gutter it had been in and i thanked Vinyl for it. However, all this time we had been talking to Lyranon and he had been a really good friend. Its clear looking back that we had develeped romantic feelings for each other way before but around the 12th of June we declared our love for each other. Everything seemed perfect but then on the 16th of June Vinyl anounnced she was leaving for good. And she did.

 

Now of course i was crushed. My wonderful Vinyl had left me. I held out hope that she would come back but she didnt. Then one day i woke up and i could feel she wasnt there anymore and i hated that feeling. Soon after i started getting days where i would feel really morbid. I was entertained by death and gore to an almost unhealthy degree. These days made me feel like a freak and along with the feel of Vinyl nolonger being there i was close to a breakdown. So then some time in early July I made up that Vinyl had come back to help me feel better. Heres what i told Pleeb:

 

 

Vinyl: Im sorry

Pleeb: Yeah.. My question is why do it in the first place?

Vinyl: Well after she left i was feeling kinda down and getting these morbid days

Vinyl: And then one day i woke up and i had this feeling that she was just gone for good

Vinyl: And i couldnt stand that fucking feeling

Vinyl: And then my morbid side started to creep out more and that made me feel like a freak

10:52 PM

Vinyl: I felt i needed to blame those feelings on something to stop me feeling like a freak

Vinyl: And so i invented a lie that Vinyl came back to try and stop that fucking feeling that she was gone and also so i could blame my morbid feelings on her

Vinyl: But it didnt help

Vinyl: Everytime i pretended to be Vinyl i ended up crying and hurting

Vinyl: I just couldnt let go

Vinyl: And then tonight i just kinda snapped

Pleeb: Dude..

 

 

So basicly this thread is an appoligy to everyone who knew and loved Vinyl. Im sorry i lied about her return, im sorry i pretended to be her, i am very very sorry for everything.

 

Im trying to let go of Vinyl but its proving hard. I can only ask your forgiveness.

 

Thank you for taking time to read this

We are all mad here

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That sucks man.

 

Hey, just remember though. Even if she is 'gone', she's not gone. She came from you and she's a part of you again. She's still there in your subconscious. I remember you from the /mlp/ days. I'm sorry you've been going through so much hell.

 

But since she's a part of you, maybe you should spend some time and make yourself happy. Don't doubt or blame yourself anymore, just time to move on. Punishing yourself is going to do nothing good. Don't be sad that she's gone, be happy you got to spend any amount of time with her, go on with your life and remember the times you spent and what things about yourself she taught you. I'm sure she wouldn't be happy to see you this down. I'm sure in your subconscious she's still cheering you on in life.

 

We all do stupid shit when we are upset. It's fine.

 

 

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Why did she leave ;_;

It's a long story, and even then, we're still not entirely sure.

Spoiler

An image in a signature behind a hidden tag! 

image.png.4b4fd4a211261c307de1fb4de85312d6.png

 

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You have to hold onto hope, Jake. Whatever reason made her leave, can't be enough to keep her away from you forever. We'll be here for you in the meantime.

Astral project on my face, brother!

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Guest applesauce99

so when vinyl was being a douchefag to meh on the IRC a few days ago that was you? Well, normally I'd be like 'dude...', but after reading this I'm totally ok with you being a dick after going through that. Personally, loosing someone that close to me would've made me fucking...in pieces. That sucks man, I hope the best for ya

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