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[Visualization] Counting on a canvas problem
#1
I've been having trouble with visualizing the number canvas.
I start it well enough, I get in a relaxed state, I visualize a white canvas and I start writing the numbers, after number 7 or so, the canvas becomes slanted in my mind. I try to steady it and i decide that I need to start all over. Is there a solution to this or is it normal?
My Tulpa: Miyuki (Gidellom)
Not much progress, I'm in no rush though, we got all the time in the world.
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#2
Sucking at something is perfectly normal when first starting something.
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#3
This type of thing is quite common with people.
I'm sure you'll find that the more you practice visualization, the more control you'll have over it.
If you feel you need to restart, then do so.
If not, then continue--either way, I'm sure you will be making some sort of progress.
"If this can be avoided, it should. If it can't, then it would be better if it could be. If it happened and you're thinking back to it, try and think back further. Try not to avoid it with your mind. If any of this is possible, it may be helpful. If not, it won't be."
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#4
You can't expect to develop unconscious competence when your experiential learning of a method or concept is nonexistent in the first place. That's like asking your brain to magically improve your overall cognition without acknowledging it takes time for connections to develop. I spent hours upon hours with militant narration and visualization to get to the point where it's easy to have virtual experiential realities streaming through fairly consistently.

I started out with images and sequences that felt like they would fade away, but that's something common for anyone that's trying to connect with cognitive activities that are rarely done. You'll have to go through the motions like everyone else, and even if you do have a set of intrinsic abilities that could aid in visualization, there's nothing wrong with just persevering, and stopping yourself from being insecure with the current state of incompetence in development. People want a higher level of cognition, and expect there shouldn't be any intermediates that may tempt them to give up, or may be abrupt and inconsistent. Being reflective about the process, and being grateful of what you were able to do can go a long way.
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#5
This kind of thing is similar to when something starts moving or turning in your wonderland and you can't get it to stop without "rebooting", per say, your wonderland. This used to happen to me a lot, and notably more with one of my fellow tulpamancer's wonderlands, and we both had to completely reset to stop it. Eventually though, it becomes easier, as long as you're persistent.

Keep in mind that since you just started you're going to have more trouble with visualizing things, especially when you are in fear of those said things to start moving uncontrollably.

I would suggest that you just practice looking at the canvas itself, and making sure you are to a point where the toppling occurs less often and you have more control. Hell, get a real canvas and maybe stare at it for a while, but that's just my two cents on the matter.
Even though my username is that of my tulpa, Quilten, my name is Phaneron, the host, who does all of the actual posting.
Tulpas: Quilten, Jira
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#6
Something that's helped for me is to do something else to my image. Something I've been doing in general is sort of, shaking it, but ti really looks like the blur you get when moving your hand really fast back and forth, that helps steady images for me. I don't have othe rexamples of obnoxious actions I tried when doing the canvas exercise that helped.
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