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Visualization keeps changing...


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OK, so I have been working on visualization and narration right now. And I am not sure what effect this will have or why it keeps happening. I keep visualizing my tulpa, but then another visualization of her comes to mind. Like I can't seem to keep a certain visualization. Like I keep seeing her as different things. The three main things it changes between is an alicorn, human, and anthropomorphic alicorn. And each of those has had different incarnations. I never intended for her to be a shape-shifter, but is she maybe becoming that own her on? I do constantly tell her to make her own choices. That if she thinks different aspects of herself (personality and visual wise) would be better than what I think to change it. I mostly have been telling her to be free and become what she thinks is best.

 

I don't know how many hours I am in, haven't really kept up, but have been tulpaforcing for about a month now. I figured it would be too early for her to be changing things like that and maybe its my own scattered mind changing stuff constantly. Or is it possible she is just taking my advice and changing things herself, and maybe going through different forms in my mind until she shows me what she likes best? Or should I really concentrate on one, and try to push the other visuals aside?

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It's never really too early for some form of deviation but if you'd been at it a month, assuming you've been doing it an hour a day, that puts you at least thirty hours in. If you're going bare minimum at half an hour a day, you're still fifteen hours in, so that's certainly enough to expect a little deviation either way. I know that a few people who are making pony tulpae have experienced changing in the type of pony or humanization of their tulpae so doesn't seem like this is unheard of. I kind of hypothesize that any non-human tulpa, if developed with a human personality and treated as a human, will probably become human sooner or later because they feel more comfortable in that form. Then again, it could just be that everyone subconsciously desires a human companion and just their fandom fascination makes them think they want a pony companion, so the tulpa deviates into what they actually wanted on a deeper level.

 

Anyway, I wouldn't try to stop it. It sounds like you're deep enough in that she should at least know on some level what she wants, so just relax during visualization, and maybe even try asking her if this apparent deviation is indeed what she wants.

 

With my human tulpa, Lauren, there have been times where suddenly she'll have changed her eye color or her hair has changed or something small like that and I'll just ask her if she did it or if I did it on accident, and that she's welcome to stay that way if she's comfortable like that, and usually she'll end up staying that way, suggesting that it was deviation rather than a screw up in visualization.

 

But, I wouldn't worry about trying to choose one of those forms and push the others aside. Just relax next time you visualize and try to figure out what she's most comfortable with.

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