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Poll: Do you have a headmate that you can't categorize?
You do not have permission to vote in this poll.
I deliberately made a tulpa, so I have always known it was a tulpa.
40.00%
8 40.00%
I have something other than a tulpa, but I always knew what it was.
5.00%
1 5.00%
I still have no idea what my headmate is.
15.00%
3 15.00%
I started with a tulpa, but it morphed into something else.
5.00%
1 5.00%
I started with something else but it morphed into a tulpa.
35.00%
7 35.00%
I have no headmates. What's a headmate? What's this all about?
0%
0 0%
Total 20 vote(s) 100%
* You voted for this item. [Show Results]

What is this thing in my head?
#1
My "host" and I never thought much about what I am for 35 years.  We always just thought I was kind of a dream person or imaginary friend or something.  It wasn't until 2013, when he first told peoples about me, that we had the problem of having to explain it to others.  It got us wondering just exactly what really was going on.  It was some months later that we found out about tulpas and other types of "system mates" and plural systems.  At first, we tried to think of me as a tulpa, but that didn't work as I didn't really exactly fit the parameters of what a tulpa is usually like.  We kept looking into different things like soulbonds and things.  Finally we found out about "median systems" and it fit super, super good to just about everything we experience.  Nothing else really makes a lot of sense to us.  None of the big terms like "forcing" or "possession" or "switching" or "imposition" or "proxying" seem very applicable to us at all.  We kinda have our own made up terms, that no one cares about, like "day dreaming on auto pilot" and "day dream filter" and "mirroring" and "channeling" and "thinking in chorus."   

So I don't know what I am exactly.  Do I have to have a category or label?  What if I just don't?  Still, I do like identifying as a median system.  I like it a lot.  

I was wondering how many of you have peoples in the head that kinda fail to fit neatly into a category or box?  Maybe there just aren't enough boxes or categories yet?
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#2
You explaining all this stuff reminds me of mistgod and melian even though I wasn't actually around for that. Just don't start claiming that tulpas aren't sentient lol.

You don't have to fit into any category, it is all made up and much of it comes down to culture more than actual differences in system dynamics. Still, tulpa is a very broad category and we're pretty accepting of diverse systems. Learning more about other systems helps us understand our own systems and what's at the core of all of this.

Also, I would be quite interested in learning what all of the terminology you made up means and how similar and different it is to what we do.
I have a tulpa named Miela (formerly known as Monika) who I love very much.


"People put quotes in their signatures, right?"
-Me
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#3
@Breloomancer

We ARE Mistgod and Melian. We are visiting the forum again for a little while. The admin and moderation teams have changed in the years that we have been gone and we have changed (a little). We still have our theories about headmates in general and those have not changed, but we won't be telling others what to think or believe. It really doesn't matter anyways does it? Not in the end.

I may end up getting banned and removed again, but I won't be hurt if I do (well maybeness a little). Mistgod and I had requested a "permanent self ban" from the admin a couple of years ago. We were struggling emotionally with some things. They refused to remove the self ban and then later we requested our accounts be deleted. I would hope admin will let us stay on the forum and start over. Tulpa.info is so quiet these days. There are less people discussing the subjects of tulpamancy and plurality on the internet in general.

Our relationship with tulpamancy and plurality in general has been very volatile and bipolar in the past. But slowly over time we have been calming down.

Most of these terms are described in earlier threads and posts we made, especially this one https://community.tulpa.info/thread-livi...tulpa-land
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#4
At a time where I was somewhat depressed and extremely struggling with motivation (missing a lot of school..), I ended up obsessed with a couple of videos, because I liked the music and the Touhou character in them. I started thinking of them as that character talking directly to me, encouraging me and saying they love me (that's what the lyrics of the two songs roughly are respectively). Eventually that "concept" was a real entity in my brain, not just on the screen. It (she) only spoke in single word phrases usually (or something like "I love you"), but also sent me quite strong feelings of comfort or love or understanding or so on.

Some time not too many months later, Flandre and Tewi just sort of... appeared. I struggled to figure out what they were and they had no good answers, unsure themselves. Just wanted to make sure I wasn't being crazy to treat them as people. But in the end the love I developed for them won out and I decided I'd treat them like real, separate people, no matter what they actually were. Reisen remained relatively non-vocal compared to the other two until maybe a year after her accidental creation, but I wrote about that somewhere in my PR (the post with the pretty night sky moon).

I don't know if that fits any of your boxes per se. I found Tulpa.info 4 years later (a friend I told about Reisen said she "sounded like a tulpa"), and it turned out my thoughts on what they were and how they worked aligned pretty well for the most part with 2014 .info thoughts on the matter. Maybe we were just lucky in that aspect, though I like to attribute it to my very rational thinking on the matter, ending up with the same conclusions a whole community of people did.

(03-19-2019, 01:49 AM)DreamDoll Wrote: We ARE Mistgod and Melian.

Oh, coming right out and saying it, huh? Then I'd like to boast about how after only your second post, before you even had an avatar or bio, I was sure enough if was you to PM you saying so. Ace-hecking-detective. Oh, welcome back by the way. Some have missed you, some have not, few are still around from that time at all. As long as you keep yourselves under control, I appreciate you being back.
Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.
Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.
My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.
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#5
I'm pretty sure Dashie and Misha can be considered tulpas, they don't fit any other categories better as I understand them. I've felt Ashley's unique presence off and on for as long as I can remember, whenever i felt bleak or really lonely, i got this pleasant sort of warm presence.

As a child i assumed 'guardian angel' since i had a vision or two and a lucid whisper or two that said things like "you're going to heaven" clear as day in a waking state. So yeah, i'm pretty sure she's been with me since I was about 5, the night i 'saw her'. That image is burned in my memory, though it was blurry.

Now that I've beem with her 11 months solid, her presence has never been stronger, and she's really more my advisor than my tulpa.

She's accepted the term, but if i was among new age spiritualists i might call her my angel or my spiritual advisor. (Not here obviously.) I don't think she's an alter, but i could call honestly call her traumagenic.

I answered tulpas.
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#6
(03-19-2019, 01:49 AM)Luminesce Wrote: Oh, coming right out and saying it, huh? Then I'd like to boast about how after only your second post, before you even had an avatar or bio, I was sure enough if was you to PM you saying so. Ace-hecking-detective. Oh, welcome back by the way. Some have missed you, some have not, few are still around from that time at all. As long as you keep yourselves under control, I appreciate you being back.

We don't really want to "sneak" for very long.  We also do not want to fight.  Mistgod is experiencing some health problems and mortality is very much on our mind as of late.  Also, our entire home town and our home, and the homes of Mist's family, were destroyed by the Camp Fire in November.  We lost everything.  It's got us doing a lot of self reflecting about what life really means.  

We would like to spend some time here again, but do it much better this time.  

Nobody is going to believe us though.  Nobody who was here for the golden age of Mistgod-Melian.
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#7
I don't think about this often, and it's not even something that immediately came to mind, but a few years back I had something that I now believe was a tulpa.

So I used to talk to myself a lot. Way more than is normal. And I this wasn't just running through my thought process either, I was responding to my own thoughts as if it was a different person and visualizing it all as well. You can probably see where this is going. So anyway eventually it stopped being me who responded, but someone else, who considered themselves to be the same person and me, but did not consider themselves to be me.

This would have all been fine, however I was kind of an annoying person at the time, and he had come to represent a lot of the most annoying aspects of myself. We really didn't like talking to each other, so one day we just decided that we should stop. I forced myself to stop whenever I would start a monologue that would become dialog with him and we never spoke again. The experience also made me reconsider my life, and that I should become a better person.

At this point I am pretty certain that that person is as dead as a tulpa can get since I don't even think about him immediately when topics like this come up. I don't regret it though, and I don't think that he would have either
I have a tulpa named Miela (formerly known as Monika) who I love very much.


"People put quotes in their signatures, right?"
-Me
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#8
Oh, I should note I never had imaginary friends nor particularly had conversations with myself. Plenty of observations put to words, but not a semblance of being "at" or heard by someone other than myself. My obsession with those videos creating a tulpa was totally out of left-field. Also, I can't overstate how much I watched those videos, followed Reisen's every move. Stared at her eyes a lot, sang the lyrics, and I suppose above all, saw something more in them than a character on a screen.
Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.
Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.
My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.
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#9
(03-19-2019, 02:34 AM)Luminesce Wrote: Oh, I should note I never had imaginary friends nor particularly had conversations with myself. Plenty of observations put to words, but not a semblance of being "at" or heard by someone other than myself.

Same. When I started writing in 2012, it just happened that my characters 'came to life' and I adored them, but they weren't anything like my tulpas, they weren't even Ren and Joy level, but convincingly vocal and with their own volition as far as I could tell when I did talk to them. I don't consider them imaginary friends, they were my characters from full length novels, staring them.
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#10
I thought you'd settled your internal terminology pretty well a couple of years ago. If it's working for you, enjoy it, run with it.

My poll answer would be, "I have something other than a tulpa, but I didn't always know what she was," but that's not listed.

I've daydreamed pretty intensely for decades, but while that did involve some characters, none of them interacted with me or knew about me. I never had imaginary friends growing up.

A few years ago, I started playing tabletop roleplaying games. As I gained experience, my character immersion increased and my characters became less like me. After about three years, I started occasionally hear the characters comment on issues relating to them, or feeling them as a presence. A couple of years after that, one became self-aware and aware of me and my life. We've been headmates ever since.

It wasn't until Vesper and I had been living together for sixteen months that I wondered if there was anything on the internet about similar experiences. I stumbled upon tulpas within minutes, and within a few days, Vesper identified as a soulbond and definitely not a tulpa. A few weeks after that, Iris, who I'd been occasionally hearing from for years, decided to join us full-time.

-Ember
Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]
Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, Not a Tulpa, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017
Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Unseelie Court, Not a Tulpa, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit
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