The other day I saw someone mention in a forum asking if you could visit others or bring them into your wonderland, would you? Some said yes, but that it was too bad it was "not possible". Well, I'm here to say that, in a way, it is.
"Visit others in your Wonderland? How is that even possible?"
Well, it depends in what way you're asking.
If you're imagining meeting up in some middle plane or reality where you will see, hear, feel, and experience yourself and others in Wonderland as you would in the waking world, I'm sad to say that is not the case (not the case without something like Astral Projection or something anyway. Wouldn't know).
No, what I'm talking about is something that over 6 years ago my close friends and I labeled "3rd Space". This is a "space" between you and at least one other physical (as in original, not tulpa) person. It (at least for me) feels exactly how you feel when you visualize your experiences in Wonderland with your Systemmates, but stronger if you practice it. Of course, this space is imaginary, but it feels real and more than natural if you keep at it long enough.
This overtime, if allowed, can become a very personal process. Be sure it's someone you feel safe about that wont abuse it or use it for any agenda other than what it's intended for. If you give consent, it's fine, but remember that you are always in control of your situation in 3rd Space. Don't allow anyone to make you feel uncomfortable. If they harass you, make moves on you you're not okay with, or do anything in any way that makes you feel unsafe or demeaned, it's as simple as closing the conversation. If they somehow continue, please let someone available know and block communication. This is not a common occurrence, but it's good to be stated otherwise. Also, please don't give personal information away. Play it safe, guys.
How it works:
- You will need to choose one person (does not matter if they are a singular or a system) and one means of text to text communication. This can include anything from Skype (my most recommended, even if it's glitchy, it feels more "private" than most other programs and most natural for this) to facebook, to googlehangouts, to Discord. Anywhere you can type "/me" is best (so, avoid facebook if possible). "*"'s are okay, but I've always felt the "/me" works better, because your name pops up and then you can follow it with an action, example:
----"/me Nee sits on the singular bench at her park and waits for Aigle to appear. She crosses her legs and leans back against the slatted wood and looks up at the vast blue sky. She watches puffy and misshapen clouds roll by before quickly looking ahead at the sounds of Aigle's voice calling out to her. Smiling, she says with a smooth tone, "What took ya so long?" ----- would become "Nee sits on the..." rather than, "*Nee sits on the singular park bench...*. "/me" actions look more like a flowing book to me, rather than *'s, but this will come down to your personal preference as well as the other party's. Just a fair warning that if you use two different action types, it may be a little distracting and make it harder to get immersed in it. After all, this is supposed to play out like a book two people are writing at once. How would you feel if a book switched around from different font styles, tenses, and wordings every couple of sentences for no apparent reason? It'd be distracting, to say the least.
If you cannot find someone to do this with (Ie: a friend that knows about your system-ness), you could always ask around the community. I'd just suggest showing them this guide if they haven't seen it already so you're both on the same page. I also suggest only 2 people at the start. More than that and it may become a little hectic to manage.
No Tulpa, no problem!
Hosts/originals can do this completely by themselves as well as vocal (or able to communicate) tulpas/plurals/multiplies/alters/everybody. Heck, you can do this practice without even making it about Tulpas in the first place. A lot of LDR couple's do something similar to this.
Step 2 - Now that you have someone to try this with and a platform to do so on, the next step will be to figure out where to start as well as get over any initial awkwardness. It'll fade away in time if you do this frequently, but it can seem odd in the beginning to some. Most of all with someone you might not know very well. Like with Tulpa work, you have to find a way to believe in it, even if the process is almost roleplay, it doesn't matter. You're both (or few) are doing this together. I can say from experience that after a while, it's real to you as it should be. It's like crossing a bridge to meet up in the middle between two islands to socialize, interact, learn, explore, and feel the company of another with you no matter where you are in the world. Again, a lot like Wonderland with your Systemmates. Over the years, 3rd Space interaction probably saved my life when I was without local friends for years. It blurs the line between long distance and local interaction. If you are lonely in real life or have a hard time socializing, I very much suggest 3rd Space method, just don't use others solely to make yourself feel better. It's about them, too. The text that reads "he/she wraps their arms around you and hugs you tightly" will feel real. You may or may not feel it physically, but you will know it's there. Heck, you can even just sit down and watch TV together in the same room (share the link and count down to watch it at the same time), eat popcorn, have a PJ party, magic duel, build skyscrapers and castles together, fly dragons, you name it. It's like sharing a semi-lucid dream once you know how to do it, so do whatever your heart desires (as long as it's consented by everyone involved). I had times many years ago where I more or less unstable. To dig a little personal, this came out in the form of Tenebre. Specifically, "Old Tenebre" as we call that time now. Tenebre's reformed now, but she was very unstable back then, unpredictable, and harmful. With the help of other's (plurals and singulars), we got through that time and one day the subconscious just went "poof" with Tenebre and suddenly she was as stable as any of us here, seemingly having a new role given from the submind now that "Old Tenebre" was no longer needed to keep some sort of balance. We then did the same for others. It was a learning experience.
This is a detailed and very specific way it can be helpful, but it sure did save me more than a few times. If you're having trouble with isolation, this could really help you as well as social anxiety. You're not meeting up physically, but you still are meeting up and having to interact, but what's more cool than doing that and being able to ride knight's horses and battle dastardly villains at the same time?
Just like they say with Tulpas in Wonderland, you'll be having incredible, hilarious, and touching memories for years to come and hopefully make some great friends along the way. I mean, heck, my girlfriend who is a System lives with me and every now and again we go to different rooms to meet up with Skype on 3rd space. There's really not something else like it.
- The first one is easy. Excellent Visualization practice. Without knowing it for years, this process is what created and built my Wonderland for me. 3rd space interaction required a place to meet up, therefor, required a real, visualized location to do so. My Wonderland is very basic, but has certain aspects that are very detailed. It's white grounds meets the horizon to meet a white sky and goes on and on and on. However, we have a house, we have a park, we have a broken down city, we have a bathhouse, we have our own individual worlds, and we can hold our our hand and create anything from fire to landscapes. It may not always stick, but with enough forcing it will. Bring others into that mix and you have someone outside of yourself to bounce off of, who if you both allow, can create. Again, they do not enter your mind, but they describe what they are doing (as well as you for them) to you and you imagine it happen in real time. This creates a wonderful technique for you and another to help improve visualization, imagination, and other practices that can help you with Tulpa making. It teaches you to visualize the way fiction book reading does. You read it, you hear it in your mind, you visualize it! Only difference now is that you're half of the writer, half other writing process. That control and practiced ability can seriously benefit you with your Tulpa forcing, visualization, and possible even imposing (something I'm obsessed with).
Note: I do not suggest dropping all other practices for this. This is a great side/main activity, but to help with it even more I still suggest meditation to help increase clarity in visualization and whatever else helps you along your journey.
- Second, improved writing skill. There is only so much you can do and so far you can go with poor writing skills. This includes spelling of critical words (google is your friend in this), grammar, punctuation, and the ability to describe the world around you as it flows and breathes. That last one is something you learn as you practice (heck, my chat logs from a few years ago were pretty awful), but now-a-days it's important to me that if I'm in 3rd space with someone, I can build the world and give it life so that what we experience together and can bounce of of each other easily. The best experiences (and results) come out of that. It's okay to not be perfect or even great at it, but I will say that typing like I did above to then get a response of "Aigle walk to Nee and waves, "hi." and sits." is disheartening, because it adds nothing to the world around you and you can't build anything off of it to reply with. It just stops there. Try to be in the mindset of a writer, not your normal facebook chat with casual friends. You're giving life to a in-between Wonderland. Make it yours and make it fun and immersive!~
- Third, decreased sense of isolation and loneliness.
As I said before, 3rd space interactions probably is why I'm still here today. There was a long, seemingly endless dark period of 8 - 9 years where when I was a kid, disability hit me in waves over the years, adding to the pile. This made it increasingly difficult to go out and make friends with people my age or anybody. Shortly after it started is when I started being in long-distance-relationships. I didn't know at the time I was teetering on the 3rd Space interactions that I'd know today. Sure, there was simple building blocks of it like, "/me cuddles you" or "/me kisses you", but nothing like trying to write a book. It wasn't until sometime after I met my ex did that world building aspect come into play. My ex was the first plural I had ever met (more or less besides myself, not really sure where I was at the time). Through 4 - 5 years of interaction between his System and mine, we all grew as people/beings and had hundreds of different experiences, good and bad. Then, it continued with my now Gf and we've grown together as well. You can do this with more than just one person. We wouldn't be the same at all if it wasn't for those interactions. Which leads me to my next point...
- Fourth, Active/Passing forcing made easier/more engaging.
I'll be frank and say this probably isn't the same for everyone, but I have a good feeling that 3rd Space interaction could really, really
help those trying to force those in their system or soon-to-be. We started out pretty basic, but throughout the years of 3rd Space, we formed into much more life-like individuals that we probably never would have without it (sounds like forcing, doesn't it?). Granted, that's because we had no idea there was this practice or community of people like us. I'm not saying 3rd Space is your key to success, it's not, but it could prove to be a very nice and entertaining lock pick. ;)
- Fifth, Self-exploration/Learning about oneself.
From the example about "Old Tenebre" and that being years into the process, you can probably only imagine the possibilities you'll learn about yourself (and others) when engaging in 3rd space, similar as you may from doing so with your Systemmates in Wonderland. This is why I want to stress the point again that you want to engage in 3rd space with someone that you like, not someone that seems sketchy or in it for their own (probably poor-intended) reasons, just because you don't want to keep searching for someone else. Again, you are not in danger. This does not cause actual possession or give them the ability to harm you, but even still try to cause yourself the least amount of trouble you can. 3rd Space can stay like a casual hangout forever and that is more than fine, but it does bring you and another person(s) closer than distance normally can on its own. So, be aware you may form bonds (or may not) if you're at this for a while. So, be wise about who you want to invite into yourself with. As long as you don't go throwing yourself at strangers, singing and frolicking, asking people to meet you inside of your head, I'm sure you'll be fine.
And that concludes it! If you have any questions, feel free to ask me in the comments and I will do my best to answer them.
Disclaimer: If this somehow, in same way, becomes a negative experience for you, please use common sense and keep your wits about you. I won't accept blame for each and every situation that goes south, though if you use the tools I said above, this is unlikely to happen.