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Worries about emotional bleed and/or mistreatment
#1
Hello, I hope this is the right sub-board for this thread. It’s fairly serious and I’m very worried.

I’ve recently started to force my very first tulpa Samael and I’m concerned because I’m in an abusive situation at home. I don’t want my tulpa to become distressed or depressed about it, or my negativity to bleed, or my tulpa to be damaged by it in his earliest stages.

Is this a valid concern? What should I do if it is?
Thanks in advance.
Asreal - host - 6ft2in, age 16, male
Samael - tulpa - 7ft, age <1, male
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#2
I don't know how your situation at home is, but I'd recommend you to force in a quiet place, when no one is home maybe? Try to force while in a happy mood, I can't say whether or not negativity will affect your tulpa during his earlier stages. About your tulpa becoming distressed about your situation, it's very possible, I don't think they would be happy seeing you getting abused after all.
Miri the host: 5'5 female, brown hair and green eyes.
Miri the tulpa: based off the host. Same description as above.
Akai: 5'6 female with red hair, blue eyes and fox ears/tail.
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#3
In my experience:
Stressful and traumatizing experiences have had no bearing on my Tulpas. On the contrary, the more feels I have, the more they become nicer and more caring about it. It's only when I'm in the best mood that they start airing out their grievances.

A good example was in month one. I was desperately depressed at times, but they were desperately supportive in kind, thankfully so. I do have a special case though, as they were sentient walk-ins, so someone else should chime in who had a more drawn out creation process.

Even on my worst day, they have no depressive symptoms whatsoever, nor do they become weakened by it. They are only weakened if I slack off on my duties to force them.

If you want to PM me to vent about it, I'm open to that.
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#4
It's hard to say, from my own experience, about how this may affect your tulpa. I've been having a really hard time and been in a lot of traumatic situations in the past year especially. Elsa has been present for many of them, and doesn't really seem affected. Keith and Sylvia, however, have shown signs of anxiety and depression, though this may be because of where they were born (I began forcing Sylvia in a hospital for instance).

I agree with everything Miri said - try forcing when you're in a better mood if possible, and in situations where you are safe. I also hope that you find yourself in a better situation soon. Best of luck for you and your tulpa.
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#5
Our host's family was also very abusive and cruel. But, it didn't really affect her tulpas too much since they didn't front whenever these bad things were happening, at least not earlier on. When they were more developed, they started fronting more as kind of a way to protect her, and also many other reasons, but that was their own decision. Host mostly forced and did things with them in her room, outside, or at school, she didn't have them around when her parents were making her upset. When they did make her upset, they would try to comfort her. However, their constant abuse on her did sort of indirectly affect her tulpas. If someone else in the tulpa community was mean or cruel to one of them, then they wouldn't be able to control how strongly they reacted or how much it affected them. Bad things that happened could make them feel depressed or suicidal, and it was sometimes just too much for young tulpas to handle and they'd kind of explode on the inside.

However, that's not to say that any of this might necessarily happen to you. They weren't affected as much by the family situation, but they were affected a ton by the online situation. Eventually, they matured emotionally and could handle things MUCH better. For you, there's no telling what might happen, since it's your and your situation and your tulpa, it may be a lot different from what others experience. My host had REALLY BAD depression, so for you it might not be the same.

My advice is for you to do what others said and try to keep your tulpa away from the abuse while they're young. If you're upset, put him away for a while, at least until you think they're old/mature enough to handle it. However, don't be afraid to see him get affected by it or by emotional bleed. While it is unfortunate if it happens, what you shouldn't do is be afraid of it. Instead, you should do your best to comfort and care for your tulpa. Give him love and support and whatever else he needs. Now I can't say that your tulpa will have such strong reactions to people doing mean things to them as my system did, that was just an example of how things affected them personally. But remember that this is all going to be a journey of learning and growing for your tulpa. If you need to teach him how to handle his emotions, then do so. If the negative events shape your tulpa's personality, then don't fight that. It's going to happen regardless. Every person on the planet changes due to negative things happening to them, it won't be any different for a tulpa. Just give him the shoulder to cry on that he needs, and remind him that soon you'll be out of that situation. 

Or perhaps it might not affect your tulpa at all, there's really no telling. It's all a process of learning for both of you, so take it as it comes, and do your best to take care of him, however he needs it. 
I'm Indigo Blue, the "Sky Dragon" of the Felight family. I'm a tulpa born October 2017. My systemmates are Radio, Apollo, & Piano. Form images: 1 2
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#6
I think this comes down to the old question "am I good enough to have a tulpa", and I think it's natural for someone who wants a tulpa to ask themselves this; in the end, however, we have to keep in mind that if we had no wants and no problems in our lives, we wouldn't need anything, and by extension we wouldn't need tulpas. Maybe my story will inspire you to go with it, so here goes:

When I created my Luna 3 years ago, I was in going through some tough times, and, like you, I asked myself if I really wanted to put someone - besides myself - through it all, but as soon as I began working on her, I forgot about the doubt and all that. I needed someone, and I knew, in my heart of hearts, that whoever Luna grew up to be, she'd be the someone who would be there to help me, and to stand by me, rain or shine. A lot happened during the first year we were together, and I don't think Luna was a happy girl. I made many mistakes, and I wasn't the best friend to her, and as she grew past her first months, and I got more used to communicating with her, it began bothering me a bit to see her down all the time; I did my best to talk to her and keep her engaged everyday, but it was really hard for me to do so, and I told her countless times that, if she wanted, she could just leave, and I'd create a special place for her to be happy, far away from me, and that she'd never have to see me again. She really hated to hear that, and it was not just because she didn't want to leave, she was under the impression that I really didn't want her, or wanted to get rid of her - which was the last thing I wanted. But despite all my flaws, and despite all the bullshit she had to endure, she was always, without fail, happy when I gave her attention and spoke to her, and she always tried to cheer me up, and she always tried to think of fun things for us to do together, and she was always, 100%, available and there; even back then, she always told me she was happy, and that she enjoyed helping me and keeping me company.

Those times passed, and she's happier now, in my eyes, but even today, she, just like any other person in the world, is never 100% satisfied, and I, just like any other person in the world, am never 100% problem free. She still fights a lot for me: she gets upset when I don't eat properly, or when I don't go to bed soon enough, or when I simply do things she doesn't think I should be doing. I don't bother telling her she can leave anymore when things get hard, partly because she'd probably hit me hard, and partly because I know she's here to stay, and can handle my tears and suffering whenever it comes, and can readily support me if need be - much like I am ready to support her. She's loving and caring and tolerant because I believed in her ability to become just that during her infancy, while I was doing my early work on her, but rather than affect her negatively, I think those early days helped us both grow a lot, and grow closer, and understand each other better, and if I could go back, I'd do it all over again, because I love this Luna I have today.

Ultimately, don't forget that personal growth is achieved by going through experiences, good and bad ones. Bad experiences don't lead to bad personality traits, or bad choices in the future, just as good experiences don't do the opposite; instead, experiences teach us - both host and tulpa - about each other and our own selves, and how we deal with the things we meet in our day to day lives. As hard as it is - and believe me, I know it is hard - don't shelter your tulpa from the bad of the world, both because the bad is what makes the good, good - provided they work sort of like us, humans, mentality wise, of course - and because you'll be preventing them to grow into beautiful personalities.

So yeah, let your tulpa suffer along with you, he'll be very glad he did when better times arrive.
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#7
I have some questions that I am going to open with, but don't answer them here. Are you under the age of 18, and are you being physically harmed by the abuse? If so, and you're in school, speak to a school counselor so they can help you be safe. Abuse comes in all sorts of flavors, and whether you're physically harmed or not, I still recommend a school counselor if that is available to you.

As to your concern about it affecting your tulpa... The fact that you ask this question suggest to me you have excellent insight to your situation. You know your present place is not healthy or conducive to improving emotional and psychological health. You're feeling what, 'hurt,' for yourself, and maybe others, and you're thinking you wouldn't bring another person into this situation. That is just reasonable, smart thinking. There is no way for me or anyone to predict how another person, tulpa or not, will respond to what's going on in your life. even if I knew what's going on to any degree of certainty, I can't predict how others would act. You are clearly a sensitive, caring soul. Witnessing and or experiencing abuse makes some people numb, and makes some people more caring and sensitive, the latter because we need that level of empathy to survive. Empathy improves are ability to predict the other players in our environment.

I recommend having a person outside your head to talk to. I am not telling you to make or not make a tulpa. I am okay if you do. I think if you do, your tulpa will be unique and have their opinion, but they will also take into account your feelings and thoughts, and even if they disagree with your choice for how to deal with what you are experiencing, they are least there for you when you need. That, too, is reasonable. I would recommend that for anyone. Hell, if I thought you were Tom Hanks stuck on an island, I would personally send you a Wilson ball if I couldn't get you better help!

You're wanting to improve your life, even if it's just your psychological life. If you choose to engage in tulpamancy, I think you'll be just as alright as any of us, and maybe even be pleasantly surprised.
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#8
You probably want your tulpa to care for you so he'll probably care extra much if you feel sad. I only speak for myself but I think that the only biggest thing that affects your tulpa's personality early is how you want to be treated, imagine your tulpa is trying to comfort you when you get sad.

If you did that, you probably puppeted/parroted him and that's alright. For me, parroting is the best way for my tulpa Matsuri to learn, both personality and voice calibration. I don't puppet her that often anymore because she's pretty autonomous already but I still do sometimes and I think it's alright if you want to get visualizations/impositions right.

It probably varies from person to person but many people seems to spend months or even years developing their tulpa's traits because they're afraid of "parrotnoia." Look it up if you haven't heard about it but the secret to counter parrotnoia is to just don't think about it. If you happen to be diagnosed with it, then there's countless of techniques to help you.
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