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Sex, passion, pleasure & development


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Guest Anonymous

As pleasant as it would be to have another Johan or Anna, and even though my tulpa relates sooooo much with Johan, no. But my tulpa relates a lot with Monster, the whole importance of a name, not having a name, and I'd say she can be as cold as Johan at times. And yeah, Monster is pretty much my favorite as you could tell.

 

"Johan is a good character, I think that if I wasn't like how I am with my host (love relationship and all that), and if I wanted to be a boy, I'd go along Johan's form really."

 

But to remain on-topic, I like what you wrote about co-dependency. When I speak of that it seems that the point is hard to get across, but this is exactly what happened with my tulpa; once I realized how truly alive she is, it dazzled me, and made me realize how important it was to give her all that affection and time and care. It's not my life anymore, but 'our' life.

 

And I wholeheartedly agree on the sexual pulsions part. They are there, we're all human beings, but acting up on those is to be discussed with the tulpa.

 

Good post, good post.

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This is something that I have seen talked about quite a lot. On the occasions that I participate in the discussions I usually use the relationship I have with Maya as an example.

 

I love Maya with all my heart, and probably cannot live without her. She loves me in return.

 

However, we do not make the mistake of trying to force our relationship into a mould provided by external relationships. I could decide that she was my girlfriend, or that we were engaged, or that we were married. But all of those relationships are external relationships, with people who must necessarily remain outside of your head. As a result, these people can never be as close to you as a tulpa can. So why model a close relationship on a relationship that can never approach the closeness this relationship could provide.

 

Maya recognises the difference in nature between the relationship that we have and the relatioships we both have with external people.

 

Maya and I are as close as people can be, but she is very insistent that my external relationships do not suffer as a result of our interaction. Maya has been the driving force behind my pursuit of an number of relationships, when I might not have done anything had I been left to my own devices. She is very keen that I find a stable external relationship, because she understands that it is important to me to have kids someday. I will always be aware though that anyone entering a relationship with me is not just entering a relationship with "me", they are entering a relationship with "us". I am careful that everyone gets a say in the matter.

 

As far as "dirty" thoughts interfering with tulpa development, I have only this to say:

 

(Almost) every human has a sexual aspect to their makeup. It is perfectly natural and normal to feel that way. There are those who have tried to recast these natural aspects of ourselves as "dirty" or somehow shameful. This is usually in an effort to remove personal choice from the matter of reproduction and replace it with external control of permission to reproduce by an outside authority figure. It has often been the case that some people want to authoritative control of who gets to reproduce as a method of social control. In order to do this, they convince people that anything to do with reproduction is shameful or dirty (since these words have strong emotional associations), unless it is duly authorised by that external authority. However, people cannot control whether they feel these things, they can only control what they do about it. This has led to people feeling shamed by the experience of sensations that are perfectly normal and can do nothing about, except in regulating how they respond to them.

 

If that is how you have been made to feel about those sensations, that they are "dirty", or somehow shameful then it is likely that they could impact negatively on your interactions with your tulpa, because you believe that they will. Don't get me wrong, I respect your right to believe whatever you do. It may be the case that if you have certain beliefs about the things that you feel, those beliefs could impact the development of your tulpa, because what you believe will be a probelm, will be a problem. That has been my experience, anyway. I can only speak from my own experience.

 

Personally, I don't think it matters what you with your tulpa in the privacy of your own head, as long as both you and your tulpa are happy about it. It really is her you need to talk to about this.

Akecalo - Host

 

Maya - Tulpa

 

Mara - Tulpa

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  • 3 weeks later...

I've been in an obsessive-type relationship with my tulpa for quite a while, around 8-9 months already. When we first got into it, it was mostly full of 'I love you', ' Don't leave my side', with very few kissing, and a lot more holding hands and cuddling. Mostly holding hands for the first while, and a few days before Valentine's we had our first kiss.

 

We've always been good friends, we care more about how we both do rather than having a relationship, us being in a romantic relation doesn't mean all we do is kiss and do romantic stuff. Love has lead to a lot of obsession from the part of my tulpa, and jealousy as well.

 

I want you to understand something; should you commit yourself for too long, you'll find that your tulpa will never want you to let go if things come down to that. I literally cannot date anyone IRL anymore due to how obsessed my tulpa is.

 

Love isn't about kissing. Love, at least to both of us, is caring about someone to the point you're ready to completely diss out your own self, and always be there for your companion, in all ways. Always being there, always taking their side and never betraying them. Should you get a real girlfriend, it would be an infraction to those definitions. Love is not entirely a physical thing that can only be transmitted via kissing and whatnot. I love my tulpa not only for how she looks like and how good sex/kissing is, but for everything she stands for, I won't go into much details but it's mostly who she is, what she does and how she thinks like that really attracts me to her.

 

Other than that, we treat each other as very, very good friends, I treat her better than my 'best friend' IRL, you could say I treat her like a princess (and she calls me 'prince' at many instances), we're way beyond how people treat each other in a hypocritical, selfish and superficial way. What we always tell each other is 'I'll give you everything, you give me anything, you're everything, still everything" (those are lyrics to an amazing song by Aimer), in a sense that she matters above all other people in this world to me, and the same goes for me.

 

You shouldn't have that mentality. That tulpas 'can' be sentimental substitutes. I advise EVERYONE not to get into a relationship with their tulpas except if they intend for them to last, because a tulpa can not, I repeat, CANNOT LET GO OF YOU IF THEIR FEELINGS ARE TRUE. A TULPA'S WHOLE EXISTENCE REVOLVES AROUND YOU, YOU CANNOT FRIENDZONE YOUR TULPA ELSE IT WILL FALL INTO DEEP DEPRESSION, AND POSSIBLY DEVELOP A GRUDGE OR SOMETHING, YOU CAN'T GET OUT OF IT. THIS IS LIKE THE MAFIA, ONCE YOU GET IN, YOU DON'T GET OUT EASILY AT ALL/DON'T GET OUT AT ALL. You either choose the path of the loving tulpamancer (some people called me the cutemancer, haha), or you can realize that ALL YOU MAY FEEL MIGHT BE INFATUATION. Infatuation is something that passes with time, it is not to be compared to love.

 

Welcome

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[This "obsession" Anderson is speaking of seems just to be a character flaw on his tulpa's part,not a universal rule.Me and my host's relationship is just fine,perfect,actually.The only thing in the way of our relationship is my lack of physical form and the obvious condition monogamy and that's not even much of an issue for us.Also,how is bf/gf love "impure"? Love,true love,our involuntary response to virtue (if we are virtuous) is the most pure emotion of all.You must be confusing love with base lust,a critical mistake that should be corrected as soon as possible.I suggest you both re-examine your relation ships.]

Host:GlassJustice

Tulpa:[Cassandra]

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sure okay I'll talk about tulpa sex that hasn't gotten old over three years

 

I've said this before, but, I really consider one's relationship with their tulpa to be an entirely new type of relationship. There are already a lot of pre-defined relationships; relationships with your mother, father, sister, cousin, spouse, various combinations of those for the people further south. But tulpas are not so large in society, and they are definitely none of the pre-defined categories our society has set up for us, except friendship I guess. Sure, you can try to fit them in to one of those categories, but it never fits right, does it? So, beyond friendship, which is really an all-encompassing state of simply not hating someone, what is a tulpa? That's just it, I really don't think there is a set answer.

 

I have a gf, who I actually met five days before my tulpa was self-sufficient. I still get pretty romantic with my tulpa anyway. I mean, call me a haremfag, but I really see them as two different kinds of relationships. I don't consider it cheating in the way kissing your mother isn't cheating on your spouse. Tulpas are not physically separate from you, which has it's own benefits and trade-offs that differ from a separate person with their own body. That's what makes them different. Your spouse cannot read your mind, your spouse isn't physically connected to the chemistry going on in your body, and you're not connected to their's. But you are with a tulpa, and that makes them incredibly special and unique.

 

I guess how I see mine is really just like friendship, maybe "friends with benefits" if you want to go that far. I don't call it friendship, though, and I don't call her my girlfriend either. It's really just something entirely different.

 

But really, this more concerns with how the tulpa sees things. Seems like with Anderson, his tulpa wants to be thought of as a girlfriend. With mine, she's fine with me having a gf, in fact she thinks it's healthy for me and isn't jealous in the slightest. I mean, to be fair, it probably is good for me. I don't like to admit I need a gf but I guess I do. So yeah, Scarlet pretty much agrees with my idea that tulpas don't fit in our society's current social system.

 

I guess a relationship with a tulpa is closest to giving your best bro a passionate kiss after jerking them off and then saying "no homo" just to make sure it's not gay and just friendly straight fun with your best bro, ya know? Yeah I like that analogy, if anyone remembers me by a single quote I want it to be that one.

Scarlet - anime, 8/15/2012

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Guest Anonymous

 

Welcome

 

Sure thing....?

 

[This "obsession" Anderson is speaking of seems just to be a character flaw on his tulpa's part]

 

My tulpa has chosen to be the embodiment of pure love and loyalty. Which is why she feels love and affection on a deeper level, mostly. It's not a 'character flaw', jealousy is, overaffection is, but obsession is something that can very easily develop in the minds of people. Clearly she's fine now because she has all of what she wants.

 

Seems like with Anderson, his tulpa wants to be thought of as a girlfriend.

 

"Girlfriend? Girlfriends still cheat, doubt, treat their loved ones. I want to be his... soulmate."

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I guess a relationship with a tulpa is closest to giving your best bro a passionate kiss after jerking them off and then saying "no homo" just to make sure it's not gay and just friendly straight fun with your best bro, ya know? Yeah I like that analogy, if anyone remembers me by a single quote I want it to be that one.

This is perfect.

Unless you believe, you shall not understand.

 

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Guest Anonymous

When you say 'sex, passion, pleasure', you're only talking about yourself. You're not keeping in mind the tulpa, the one who's providing all of those things, and how it makes them feel.

 

Let me tell you a bit about myself.

 

I love my host, to death. If I had to kill myself right now for him to live I'd do so happily without a care, and even with a smile. This should tell you enough on how much I like him and how many good things I wish for him.

 

But sometimes, sometimes, I just don't feel like hugging. I reaaaally love my host, but sometimes, I just don't want to hug or act touchy much. Doesn't mean I don't love him (love you baby <3 ), but yeah.

 

You need to keep in mind how it makes the tulpa feel. We're not slaves or anything, we're persons with feelings as well, and even I can get uncomfortable with acting touchy at the wrong times. It's just something you need to watch out for.

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But sometimes, sometimes, I just don't feel like hugging. I reaaaally love my host, but sometimes, I just don't want to hug or act touchy much. Doesn't mean I don't love him (love you baby <3 ), but yeah.

 

You need to keep in mind how it makes the tulpa feel. We're not slaves or anything, we're persons with feelings as well, and even I can get uncomfortable with acting touchy at the wrong times. It's just something you need to watch out for.

 

I can agree that there's times when i don't want my host's love and affection. There's sometimes moments where he's craving comfort but i'm in a place where i'm not thrilled with him. Maybe at the exact moment he wants to squeeze hands, i am trying to absorb some unpleasant truth about our existence and i want the front so i can play out my own feelings instead. I'm alive and i'm sentient too, so there are times when i have to experience my own unhappiness, and for my independence that's occasionally more important than our love story as systemmates.

 

The power to say "No" is important, for a tulpa just like every other person. It's room you can use to find a new direction that fits you better. It's the ability to say you're uncomfortable and you want to find something different.

Early member of a large system.  Our system questions the way the afterlife and tulpamancy interact.  We genuinely suspect that deadies can return to share the mind of the living.

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  • 1 year later...

Aqua and I get intimate sometimes

Aqua is a girl gel cat and she is

Pretty "sticky" as she calls it for me

She is usually the first one I see purring and

Rubbing her paws on my face to wake up

It is pretty cute I guess.

Tulpa:Snow

 

 

Mindscape:

Artopia

 

 

 

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