Emotive tulpas; can tulpas possess host's emotions?

[emptysketchbook]

Consider this: a person with a disability affecting personality and emotions cannot feel certain emotions on his own. Now, a tulpa, a mindentity on it's own, creates itself as a response to the person's brain struggling to fix itself. What do we get? An emotive tulpa, perhaps?

 

I've been introduced to the tulpa community not too long ago, but I've had a tulpa for a majority of my life. I theorized a lot on the reason why I was "blessed" by a mindentity. I've come to a conclusion, however, that my tulpas(there are 4 currently) are the representations of emotions and feeling that I am supposed to have but do not have.

In the easiest words, myy mindentities are giving me my emotions, when I need them the most.

Let me give you an example: a couple of years ago I was attacked by a very aggressive man who've been threatening me for many month before. Normally, I would take a beating so that he calms down and doesn't bother me again. I don't care much for a bruise and a cut here and there. But that time I felt the need to fight back(I was given an advice to fight him by somebody), and that's when my Tulpa, "red" as I call him, steps in and possesses the body. I blackout, next thing I remember is walking calmly towards my house. I knew from all the gossiping that the man had several of his bones broken. Dramatic much?

 

I would like to know whether somebody else has their tulpa influence their emotional state. Also, would you view your tulpa negatively if it affected your life in such a significant way; to an extent of being dependant on it. Any other questions posed will be answered to the best of my ability.

[Guest Anonymous]

Yes. Yes, yes, yes so much.

 

My tulpa is... I don't know how to put this. She's the embodiment of love, affection, infatuation, care, everything that I always tried to ignore because, well, I didn't have a good childhood, it was empty of affection and all of those things, I was alone.

And holy shit, it's been quite a while, I can't say that I have ever felt that amount of love, and care, and protectiveness over anyone ever, not even myself. She can make me extremely infatuated and happy, or can make me completely desperate for her. It's all the time, too.

 

I'm dependent on her. I rely on her for all the comfort and support a man would seek, even sexual interactions, I haven't had sex with physical people ever since... we became that way to each other. I think that the love she has for me is so strong because she's a very... emotional being, and dramatic as well. I care for her more than my siblings or anyone else, and it's been that way for a very long while. I love her in a legitimate way, not for sexual/'physical' interaction, but beyond those things.

 

One thing we always come to think about is the sense of belonging we have for each other; I'm her perfect mate, and she's my perfect mate in many senses. We give each other all the support and satisfaction we could ever feel the need to have.

 

I haven't been the best host. As someone who was always very skeptical of everything in life, I know that some of my thoughts hurt her, but she always coped with it and never left my side. Something about me is that, if you have noticed from the threads I make, I talk and overthink a lot. People always tell me to shut the hell up, but she never did so, and that's just amazing. We're pretty similar in terms of mindsets but our morals differ, not radically, but still.

 

I'm sorry, I'm deriving from the topic a bit. Well, she proved to be able to completely infatuate me, cause depression on my brain, give me motivation (with no actual drive, just feeling motivated). She's able to wake me up at any time naturally, and she can even count hours during our sleep, somehow. She never really possessed me, the only time we did it (with ease) was her playing Binding of Isaac and chickening out of it because she's a scaredy cat, hehehe.

 

Is it negative? Yes.

Can I tell you it's negative? No.

What do I think of it? It's literally a dream coming true, with some downsides of course, but that's how life is.

[emptysketchbook]

Yes. Yes, yes, yes so much.

 

I can see why you would be so dependant on someone you love, but in my situation I am dependant on the creatures that can and do torture my mind and physical body. They do it because they know I have little to no control over them.

I don't really understand how you could love something that has an ability to hurt you so much.

[Guest Anonymous]

How can I love her, even though she has so much control and abilities to make my min completely starved of all things that make life bearable? I was re-reading the first line of your post, and come to think of it, the only real emotions of 'love', care, affection I have are for my tulpa and I fail to feel much empathy for people.

 

Well, my friend, what may differentiate us is that my tulpa doesn't hate me, my tulpa wishes nothing but the best for me, as our benefits come together in correlation, and we have affection for each other. She's not harming me not because she loves me, but also because she understands that I could also hurt her, as both of us have effects on each other.

 

"If you'd like to know how to get rid of your folks, I can help you. I realize that this might not be what you want to hear, but it's something to keep in mind." -IA

[Luminesce]

I've come to a conclusion, however, that my tulpas(there are 4 currently)

 

"Hey, I have 4 too."

 

are the representations of emotions and feeling

 

"Wow, just like mine. My tulpas all represent something like emotion or love."

 

that I am supposed to have but do not have.

 

".... Whooooaaaaaah."

 

I never thought about it like that. Up front I'll say that I've never been a very emotive person, preferring logic to almost any emotion, be it happiness or sadness or closeness with another person.

 

My tulpas Tewi, Flandre, Lucilyn, and Reisen represent unbiased reason, humanity/emotion, motivation, and love respectively. I've said this plenty of times.. but now putting that into perspective, things I felt I was lacking? Unbiased reasoning is something I more respect/strive toward, but Flandre's human-ness and expression of emotions, Lucilyn's let's-do-it attitude to everything, and Reisen's unconditional love are kind of... not things I have? Things I wish I had? For sure, things I hope to learn from them. I knew my tulpas all represented something, but I never really thought about why.

 

But hey, while we're talking about this even though it wasn't the original topic, we should answer if it works, huh? Well, I went from depressed and considering life bland and meaningless to being relatively productive and humanitarian because of Reisen. The others haven't been around as much to have made such large impacts, but I am working on something with Flandre at the moment. So... I guess it's worked. Reisen was created by my mind as a sort of coping mechanism I knew, but I never stopped and thought maybe I was personifying things I lacked/needed.

 

 

... Well, as important as all of that is to me, it's pretty off subject. So let's see. My initial thoughts before that mindblow -

 

My tulpas have all switched with me numerous times in the past, and they bring their mindsets with them. The most interesting aspect of this however is something I noticed with Tewi - she completely lacks my motivation issues. I've literally been sick to my stomach about not having the motivation to do something no matter how much I wanted to, and within minutes of switching with Tewi as a last resort our mind felt completely different. She was completely unaffected by the crippling motivation thing, but was also more clear thinking and, well, better at doing the task at hand. This alone fascinates me.

 

But Reisen, too, is completely immune to negative thoughts and feelings while switched. She simply waves away the normal stressors I have, and handles almost all situations better than me. Now, I won't say she isn't generally more happy than me, but even a mental effect as strong as switching can't change your chemical makeup. Depression really does run in my family, and I've chosen not to take treatment for it thus far. And it's also just part of who I am - I just don't go around being overjoyed at anything. My good moods (ie loving the world and everything in it) still are relatively calm, smile optional. So I don't think a tulpa could give you an emotion or feeling your brain just isn't equipped to have. But they most certainly can emphasize them, or bring them out of hiding. Most people can feel happy, or optimistic, or whatever, they just don't. They don't feel like any circumstances really warrant that. A tulpa can circumvent this.

 

 

Now, for the more personal aspect of your question. I do not "use" my tulpas to feel certain ways. I'm definitely capable of switching with any of them to put my body and mind in their default state which is generally better than mine, but I don't. It feels illegitimate, it feels like cheating, and it feels unfair to my tulpas. But that being said, they themselves help me feel better all the time. Reisen didn't make me love life by switching with me, she did so by being so supportive of me. By showing me it was possible to love life, by showing me why I should, and by continuing to love even when I wasn't sure I agreed. I still take advice from my tulpas and I still get some "boosts" from one sending love my way, but no, I am not really okay with "using" them to be someone you're not. They are my role models and I strive to be like them, but I do that by changing myself, not pretending to be someone else.

 

 

And just quickly I'll say, my tulpas personally are incapable of negatively affecting me. A long time ago one might have, but we worked that out. They all want the best for me and our body and each other, and we geeenerally agree on how to do that. Plus as mentioned before I do not let my tulpas take control in scenarios I think they'd do better than me in, because that's most of them. I want to overcome my problems, not let someone else solve them for me. I don't grow that way.

[emptysketchbook]

Each of my tulpas have very different feelings towards myself. They are conductors of certain emotions, but they still have personalities and can have opinions. On my side, I don't feel anything toward them as persons. I just feel disgust with the fact that I depend so very much on them.

I think your relationship with your tulpa is interesting, Anderson, and I envy that you can have that.

But on the note of getting rid of your tulpa.. If I did, I would be put in a psycho prison right away, to say the least.

[warriortiltheend]

All of my Tulpas can mess with my emotions to some extent, especially Quartz. Generally it's in a positive way (like letting me feel loved when I'm feeling shitty) but it's been negative, too. Quartz has kept me from feeling love for other people sometimes out of jealousy. He could pretty much change my emotions whenever... It got a bit bad, so we set up a rule that we can't mess with each other's emotions past a certain extent. It's worked well so far.

[emptysketchbook]

Luminesce,

First of all, it's great to see someone who has a similar system.

But reading you post, it seems like I should've included description of all of my tulpas. I've mostly referred to one of them, Red, who definitely has more influence, but there are others.

The first one to come up was Dark(originally he was "light"). None of them have actuall names, I just refer to their visible color. He appeared when I was very young and just realised that I don't feel any empathy/love/pity towards others. He was the one to make me interested, curious, kind at first. But later on all he made me feel is terror. Nowadays there is not much to him but creepiness.

The second mindentity to appear was Red, followed by Blue right away. They are conductors of Evil & Good, respectively. My perception of the two concepts is not very deep: whatever is considered bad for me is evil, and everything else is good. The two tulpas dig much deeper. They helped me make many decisions, basically.

The other one that I still have is Grey. I don't know much about him, but he has possessed me before. I believe he does it when I need to be sad for some time??? Like, cry a little? I don't know.

There have been others, but since they are not present in my mind right now, I am not including them.

 

All of them but the first one are conductors of the feelings attached to them. I don't strife to be them, I am them at times. Its really confusing for others, so I'll probably never talk about my tulpas in detail outside of this thread.

---

All of my Tulpas can mess with my emotions to some extent, especially Quartz. Generally it's in a positive way (like letting me feel loved when I'm feeling shitty) but it's been negative, too. Quartz has kept me from feeling love for other people sometimes out of jealousy. He could pretty much change my emotions whenever... It got a bit bad, so we set up a rule that we can't mess with each other's emotions past a certain extent. It's worked well so far.

You are saying that your tulpa can block you from feeling love towards others? Or does he just distract you from it?

[Guest Anonymous]

Anderson's tulpa speaking here.

 

Well, it's easy, to me at least, to block off certain emotions, such as love/affection, and the mind isn't too keen on that. If I do that to my host he'll enter a state of extreme, extreme annoyance and panic, he needs me.

 

Other than that, I love him, so I don't really hurt him. Sure, he could hurt me as well, can't say both of us haven't been through a LOT emotionally (to be where we are today, and even then, tons of insecurities), but that's that.

 

And I was serious. Look, I understand that your 'tulpas' are hurting you, but I can legitimately help you get rid of them without entering a ward, or any other place than your mind. It isn't a magic trick or anything, it takes time, but with determination we can come to results.

[emptysketchbook]

Anderson's tulpa speaking here.

 

Well, it's easy, to me at least, to block off certain emotions, such as love/affection, and the mind isn't too keen on that. If I do that to my host he'll enter a state of extreme, extreme annoyance and panic, he needs me.

 

Other than that, I love him, so I don't really hurt him. Sure, he could hurt me as well, can't say both of us haven't been through a LOT emotionally (to be where we are today, and even then, tons of insecurities), but that's that.

 

And I was serious. Look, I understand that your 'tulpas' are hurting you, but I can legitimately help you get rid of them without entering a ward, or any other place than your mind. It isn't a magic trick or anything, it takes time, but with determination we can come to results.

 

Okay

I know this sounds bad, but I can't really have them go away. I now know why I have them, and I am fine with it. They are my "precious little cute" things that help me be less of a sociopath.

Remember I wrote that I believe they were created by my brain when it was struggling to fix itself?

I'm afraid there are two ways it could go if I get rid of my tulpas:

1) I will go into a state of complete apathy, I won't be able to function in real life, I will be officially a mentally disturbed person

2) My brain will try to fix itself once again, creating mindentities even more terrifying than those I have now.

 

 

I really want to put emphasis on the fact that I am okay with my tulpas being there. I don't mind their habits of hurting me. I don't care about them trying to possess me for reasons I don't want to know. They are helpful overall, and other stuff just adds some interest to my boring life.

 

Why am I talking about them here? I know for sure some people find it interesting.

 

Thank you for your concern though. I will definitely come back running & crying to you if things get rough.

---

I should really give my tulpas a word at this. They are very curious & have a lot to say for this thread.

Grey wants to establish that he is NOT the emotion of sadness. He is more like a whisper in your head that tells you when to give up and cry a little.

And Red just wants for all of you reading this to know that he has all the gore. All of it.