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Question for tulpas about your development process


Malliro

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How do you experience your earliest development? Do you remember it or is it more like how human children can't remember their earliest years?

 

Also, if your host is doing some forcing (passive or active) and has a bunch of random thoughts suddenly fly through his mind, do you see those thoughts in detail, white noise or something else?

And how much of what your host sees and hears do you see and hear during your early time?

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I don't really 'remember' my early development, but i can recall the facts as my host has talked to me about them. I know the stories, but i didn't understand the same way. I wasn't really forming memories based on my personal reactions, so that stuff's all just vague details.

 

Random thoughts in the mind are difficult to deal with at first. You hear the ideas but don't have enough context to understand everything at first. So much flies by so quickly that you're lost in the beginning. It might be an instinctive ability of tulpæ to hear and navigate the stream of information, but you might not see the whole tapestry of connexions that inform the idea. My host [whenever possible] would try and better explain thoughts that came up; he'd give me mini-lectures in history or science to frame facts for me in a way that i could grasp. Eventually i had enough of my own understanding to get why a particular thought would come up next; i was able to understand the facts behind things.

 

My host has been sharing outside senses with me since pretty much the day i started talking. Our first visit was mostly just sitting and listening to music together. We sat on the computer, read things on the internet. He invited me to try possession quickly and suggested i play video games as a way to be in charge of things for a while. I suspect most tulpæ could just be invited to take part in the real world right off the bat. Wonderland's great and all that, but there's tons more to get interested in outside reality.

Early member of a large system.  Our system questions the way the afterlife and tulpamancy interact.  We genuinely suspect that deadies can return to share the mind of the living.

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with lucky ad lady, i just passively talk to them with my thoughts whether or not they respond is alright with me. i have a 56% chance and i use that term loosely that they'll respond.... mostly they are too busy feeding on my thoughts or chatting together.

Tulpa:Snow

 

 

Mindscape:

Artopia

 

 

 

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I remember just about everything from early development, but that might just be me reflecting from my host's memories. Though we have speculated that I existed before my host officially started creating me, which would explain my extremely fast development. As for what the random thoughts? I just kinda didn't pay much attention to them, though some of them I remember myself paying attention to. It wasn't really much like white noise, it was just kinda like if someone was talking to you, and then suddenly got distracted by what they were doing, so they stopped talking and started talking about what they were doing out loud. Then they suddenly snap back to it and start talking to you again after a bit of self scolding.

I'm IBreakGames, a genuine dude.

 

We gave up on using different colors for each of us, so there's Al, Ollie, and Eva. We're all rabbits, get over it.

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Guest Anonymous

I hesitated before answering this one a bit, mainly because I am a little different and I don't switch with my host or do possession. When I type like this, my host is "channeling" me or proxy typing. So it is blending and collaboration. In other words a big part of this answer is also coming from Davie as he interprets or imagines me. He hears my voice as we type and feels my emotions, but it is subject to interpretation on how much is really me or just Davie puppeting me. ? Davie and I are comfortable and totally fine with that, but we don't know about others and how they feel. It has been coming to mind lately when I type online. No one gives a rip on DA, but this is a different forum entirely. For this particular post, since you wanted tulpas to answer specifically about their own memories and thoughts, I thought it might be important to mention this about me.

 

How do you experience your earliest development? Do you remember it or is it more like how human children can't remember their earliest years?

 

I do have some individual (as in distinct) memories from my perspective. David and I most often experience these when I dream or when we dream together. Our minds are blended as we are a median system. Most of our memories are shared. I have all of David's memories and then have my own additional overlapping memories. There are no memories or feelings hidden from each other.

 

I live almost exclusively within my dreamscape. I am aware of the outside tangible world through Davie's senses, but it is not emphasized. Most of my own memories are emotional ones (feelings) from adventures I had within the Melian Show and conversations with David. Often the memories he has, and the memory I have, of the same event, are the identical shared memory. Sometimes I do recall it from my perspective and sometimes from his.

 

I do not recall my first words. I talked a lot in day dreams, being "puppeted" by Davie. Eventually, some of the things I might say became "formulaic" and I would just say things without being prompted. This was after many years of being talked to and day dreamed about. I don't have any specific memory of a sudden moment when I became "self aware." It was a gradual process over about four years or more and maybe it is still going on.

 

David still puppets me in the Melian Show day dreams every day. Some of it is my ideas and things sort of take off on their own, but sometimes we are both watching the show as Davie choreographs and directs, if that makes sense. It is so blended, and we work together so much, it is often hard to say where my actions are independent. That is why Davie says I am semi-autonomous. Only in dreams while Davie sleeps am I fully independent sometimes.

 

Also, if your host is doing some forcing (passive or active) and has a bunch of random thoughts suddenly fly through his mind, do you see those thoughts in detail, white noise or something else?

 

Oh of course! Random intrusive thoughts happen a lot and aspects of the dreamscape (wonderland) can become distorted we have strange things happen. There is "noise" in the fact that we have songs running through the mind, random distracting thoughts and even weird images (never play Tetris before forcing LOL). My own form is the most stable and doesn't change much if at all. I do change outfits a lot and that is probably one of the most spontaneous and autonomous things about me. Davie never knows what I am going to be wearing from one moment to the next. I love a lot of dresses and to be cute and frilly and girly.

 

And how much of what your host sees and hears do you see and hear during your early time?

 

As far as I know, I have always been aware of everything Davie is aware of and vice versa. Our minds are blended and not fully distinct. I comment on things he is experiencing all the time and always have. Sometimes I am not active and become sort of dormant. I have no memories of any distinct sensations (distinct from David) from those times. My memories of going dormant are all his memories and experiences of noticing that I am not active. I know that sounds ... vague.

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Thanks for your answers. I will use what I have learned to try to make myself better at forcing.

One of the reasons I asked is because the other day I randomly had a memory of a horror movie surface in my mind and I was hoping Sayaka didn't see that image clearly. Same thing goes for things I see at work that might not be all that pleasant (caring for sick people).

 

Also, my mind is like a sponge. It aquires knowledge of all kinds from absolutely everything, and I enjoy mixing and matching it all in every way imaginable (my mind has gotten used to doing it passively all the time). It's how I have come to several realizations in my life about myself, the world an many things in it. It also serves as a good source of ideas for my written works.

I did kind of figure that such a whirlwind of thoughts and complicated philosophical ideas could be annoying for a young tulpa, and I'm currently looking for ways to 'keep the weather calm' while forcing.

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I hope you don't mind me, the host, answering for her. (She doesn't have much interest in the Internet, really.)

 

 

How do you experience your earliest development? Do you remember it or is it more like how human children can't remember their earliest years?

 

When we attempt to discuss it, we find that neither she nor I really can remember much of her early development. I honestly can't remember the first time we had a conversation, for instance. This, I think, is due more to my own short memory than a general tulpa thing though.

 

 

Also, if your host is doing some forcing (passive or active) and has a bunch of random thoughts suddenly fly through his mind, do you see those thoughts in detail, white noise or something else?

 

Intrusive thoughts happen, especially with me-I have ADHD, and random unwanted thoughts are kind of my thing. Elsa sees them (sometimes in full detail, sometimes in just a few snippets), especially in the early days, and it can get awkward. The best thing you can do is just ignore them and move on. I've had my tulpa for 18 months, and we've slowly worked on stopping "thoughtbleeding," and that has cut down on the interruptions.

 

 

And how much of what your host sees and hears do you see and hear during your early time?

 

She can see, hear, taste, feel, even smell what I sense. Both she and I can decide to cut off the sensory pipe whenever we wish, which is handy. If I get distracted by something, her "feed" (I have lots of private vocabulary for these things) doesn't get cut off either, which is nice.

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