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Is my tulpa even a tulpa anymore?


Fireaux

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It feels pretty painful to even ask such a question, and honestly I can feel his frustration right now from me just thinking about it, but I want to be sure for both our sakes'.

 

I haven't been active forcing with my tulpa, Greyson, in over a year, and while we do occasionally passive force, have little chats here and there, we can go long periods of time without me thinking about him. Sometimes over a week. And it scares me, because I really do not want to lose him, but I feel like this lack of forcing is making him fall apart. I was never that great at visualization, but there were definitely times when I could see him pretty vividly in my mind, and even impose him sometimes. Now, it's hard to even see more than one feature of him at a time. Sometimes it's just his hair sorta floating in space, or an eye. I can hear him but I still worry I'm just imagining what I want to hear. It's not usually in his voice anymore

 

A very large part of me does believe it's still him speaking to me, but since we haven't forced at all in so long, and when we do talk it only lasts maybe a minute per day/maybe a couple times a day, I worry if my tulpa has become a ghost of his former self. I've been having a lot of trouble emotionally for a while, so when we do talk it's not even about anything to do with him, he just tries to cheer me up.

 

Any advice would be nice, especially on how to get back into the flow of forcing. It's been so long and I feel apprehensive about it for some reason. Thanks for reading.

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You seem to define Greyson based on your actions and instances; that they are the end-all be-all in the implicit continuity of his existence in general. You feel that X-amount of time not spent fixating on him stagnates whatever implicit instances and actions he did, thus you come with the presumption that he could just be a shadow of his former self.

 

This brings awareness to how differentiating identity as a state of being vs. being defined by actions and instances is a common strife that anyone would go through with making a tulpa. Especially with how the experience seems to be contingent mostly within one’s own cognitive sphere, it would be easy to infer that if you were to refer to him in some way, the speculation of him being the original "he" would come up, and in comes the existential issues over the true Greyson vs. a shadow of his true self.

 

Here’s an analogy:

 

- If you meet someone you’ve known outside your cognitive sphere, i.e., someone in this spatio-temporal reality, which suddenly had amnesia, would you still see them as the person you conceptualized before? Maybe so, because you see them as the same person, albeit with memory loss that could just be transitory. However, if they had a lobotomy, that would be a different matter.

 

 

So, it raises the question(s):

-Would you feel that with or without your actions and instances, would Greyson still be “him?"

 

- How far are you willing to treat him as sentient to where you absolve the probability that your actions and instances solely (keyword being solely) affect his own existence to further the propensity that he can exist without being hinged to that?

 

But remember, as you’re speculating this, it makes one wonder what people do to compensate for this angst and apprehensiveness:

 

- E.g., they end up dissipating a tulpa, and feel that any future versions of them are merely shells from the true tulpa vs. them denying that they’re hinging their existence based on the host’s attachment and yearning for novelty towards the actions and instances done towards furthering their implicit sentience.

 

- They put them in stasis, and other forms of activities people attribute as symbolism; does the actual action and instance of us furthering these things truly define their existence and non-existence in context of what goes on in our heads (to save arguments of those that base it in this spatio-temporal reality)? Do we hinge on these actions and instances as the only self-referential closure for our apprehensiveness?

 

 

I’m not saying you’re doing these things, but just bringing awareness of the paradoxes that comes with identity with a tulpa in general. Makes one wonder if we should hang out with people in this spatio-temporal reality to avoid those what-ifs being challenged within context of their limitations with physical boundaries vs. our own cognitive spectrum where ideas can be fleeting and transitory.

 

But it's also an opportunity to realize that the predisposed habits we have to attribute identity with other people may cause a paradox when it comes inwardly with our companions. This may bring up the challenge that people face in redefining what it means to be self by absolving, or not seeing it as the ultimatum of those predisposed habits and processes from the equation in hopes to dissipate the paradox of personality. Maybe it's a paradox we face when treating them as sentient, and in comes the backfiring of self-fulfilling prophecies.

 

 

GUYS, I THINK WE FOUND AN IMPASSE WITH THIS WHOLE IMPLICIT SENTIENCE THING, HELP!

 

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...I worry if my tulpa has become a ghost of his former self..

 

What do you exactly mean as a "ghost"? Like a empty shell? Or some thoughts that still 'work', or is he still talking to you?

 

Have you tried sitting down and just talk to him about what you feel? Especially when he was vocal once it should help, or at least give you some clarity what is happening. Does he still anwser when youre talking to him? Do you still *feel* him there, like you felt back in the day?

Tulpa: Chaia

Friendly, sensitive & funny female human

Not vocal yet

 

*4th January 2015*

 

~ may the FORCE be with you ~

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Guest Anonymous

I have read a lot of stuff on this forum that seems to suggest that a tulpa can be brought back if you start forcing again. Just fix it. Start forcing more. Be creative with your time and make time for your tulpa. Pretty simple it seems to me. If there is some of your tulpa left, certainly he is not dead or anything.

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