Winter

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Guest Anonymous

 

Living with old people sucks. It seems to me like Fede's method would produce servitors.

 

Old crotchety racists? Or are the Olds merely in your way of forcing. Either way, you have my condolences.

You could always go for a late night bike/walk/drive when and where there wouldn't be any people to stare. I enjoy it

 

You gotta do what you gotta do.

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I posted this in the IRC, it's something that happened tonight. Some members in IRC said it hit close to home, so I decided to post it on the forums.

tl;dr:

Chess kicked my ass then showed me something amazing.

 


I try not to get frustrated, but you all know, it's the same thing... I see everyone else pass by with so much progress, and Chess and I struggle for it. You all know that I get discouraged, and we've seen this before... Same old, same old... Well, these past few days I've been dealing with some anxiety -- probably because I'm going to FL, will be leaving my family for the first time in my life, and yeah... I'm abit anxious I guess.

 

So here I am, walking (well, running, abit enraged) around the neighborhood, just trying to get out this frustration. Chess is there too, ofc; afterall, I'm trying to impose her, in a desperate attempt that it will actually allow me to hear her (okay, ranting again, sorry Chess..). Eventually I'm yelling, speaking loudly with her (in public, because I don't give a crap) and I hold out my fist, and yell, "Fine, then open this fist."

 

It was about 40 minutes later, I'm lying in bed with a half-open fist, and still asking Chess to help open it -- we were trying various stuff, but to no success. Afterall, possession never even worked before, why should it work now?

 

I told Chess I need to be left alone, so she left. I spent some time just trying to get over my thoughts, but thinking made me angry (welcome to an anxiety attack). Eventually I go back into wonderland and I'm crying apologies to Chess. She's around of course (she's always around), and she's in front of me, and I'm trying to tell her how upset and discouraged I am, and that nothing is working, suddenly, *BAM* -- very hard hoof to the face, moreso, the jaw. Chess is yelling at me at this point, and in the process throwing some 'punches' -- you know how'd you slap someone in the face? Chess did it with a hoof -- it's rough, and I almost physically felt it.

 

 

[Yes, you read 'hoof' -- Chess is a shapeshifter, and she was pone at the time this happened]

 

 

She's making her points, of course, and then she's like, "I even showed you that visualization technique, and everyone ELSE said it worked yet YOU only tried it a few times. I showed you so WE CAN TRY IT MULTIPLE TIMES," etc....

 

Eventually, we calm down, and Chess is like, "Let me show you something."

 

She takes me to this place, where I see myself standing on this cliff, overlooking a huge valley -- it's beautiful, I can't even begin to describe the amazing landscape in front of the "me" standing on that cliff.

 

Then I'm shown another person, that person is standing by a cliff, at the bottom of the cliff. There's a few flowers at the foot of the person, and he's content with those flowers, even talking about how great they are (they're not that great, but he seems to be happy with them). The other person is walled in, that is, he can't move forward, but he has his flowers.

 

Then it goes back to me; instead of looking at the landscape in front of me, I look down at the rocks on the ground I'm standing on, and the "me" I'm looking at says, "This is stupid; all that's here are dusty rocks, what's the point in this all?? That guy over there, he has flowers, why am I stuck with rocks???"

 

Chess looks to me, as I'm almost raging at that projection of myself, and she says something like, "That's how you're being right now. You read about these people and their flowers, and you don't even see the landscape in front of you; you're too busy complaining about these rocks." She continues, "This is journey, and it's a hard one. If you took the time and effort to climb down the cliff, that landscape at the bottom of the cliff will be yours." The projection of myself looks down the cliff; it's a very difficult climb, and it will take awhile to get down there; at this point, I'm starting to know what Chess means, and I'm starting to realize that instead of taking the extremely hard effort to keep pushing forward, I end up just keep getting discouraged and complain about it..

 

I turn to Chess, "And what about you? You need to put this effort in too, what about possession and..." Chess responds, "I'm already waiting for you at the bottom of the cliff."


Didn't proofread it; kinda just threw it down after it happened.

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Just remember Pleeb, you'll always be ahead of somebody else.

I'm well over 100 hours in. Had a few signs of sentience, did something that I thought would help, and everything twisted and fell apart from there. I don't even feel her anymore.

 

zWu1U.png

Chess sounds like a bro for helping you out like that.

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Pleeb: I really like what Chess showed you. I often tell Lyra something similar -- about how much potential I see in her, and how we just need to stick with it and be patient to unlock all of that.

 

Also a tip on your possession attempt: Opening a fist seems to be one of the harder things we've tried. Lyra can make a fist pretty quickly now, but it takes her longer to open it back up. She sometimes gets stuck after making a fist. I believe this is because my mind sees relaxed or contracted muscles and tries to hold them in that state, since I'm holding still after all. It's much easier for her to overpower a relaxed state with a contracted one, since it's basically activity overriding a lack of activity; she only needs to overcome my (currently) stronger consciousness. But for her to relax a muscle that's contracted, she has to make it stop contracting when part of me is sending them signals telling them to contract.

 

Opening a fist that I made is dang near impossible -- basically this is asking her to override the stronger "contract" signals still being actively sent by my 27-year-old consciousness with weaker "relax" signals sent by her 4-month-old consciousness. She tries to open it by contracting the muscles that pull my fingers back, but it's no use; the ones that clench a fist are far stronger.


Lyra: human female, ~17

Evan: boy, ~14, was an Eevee

Anera: anime-style girl, ~12; Lyra made her

My blog :: Time expectations are bad (forcing time targets are good though)

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I'd say that fist - opening or closing it - is pretty advanced possession stuff. It is very difficult and there are many things you have to move and use force to do so. Chupi has the right idea, don't expect her to suddenly be able to jump in and control a body part you are controlling at the time. Just relax, let her get the feel for it first, then see if she can make a fist and open that. She probably can't at first, but keep at it.

 

Hello, Roswell typing now. I can make a fist, but I can also type, so I have a head start. My early attempts weren't very successful. It is important to relax and let go, it will be easier then. Think that you no longer even have control of the body part and thus can't move it. It helps a lot when Sands isn't trying to fight back.

 

Good luck, all of you.


The THE SUBCONCIOUS ochinchin occultists frt.sys (except Roswell because he doesn't want to be a part of it)

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I had a random thought last night-

 

We might be slowpokes. We might take longer. We might have to work harder than everyone else.

 

But who out of all the members here are going to appreciate their tulpae more?


frt

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Guest Anonymous

Update: Still slow. But now, with delusions of possession that can last for hours, especially if I listen to an audio file that aids with relaxing the body, music works about as well. Momentary flashes of seeing a tulpa at a rate of .15 per day(6 or seven second(s) long flashes of clear sight,) since December. Many attempts at switching, no fruits of labor yet on that front.

 

Slowpokes of yore, report in! Are you slowbros yet. Light slowpokes? Slowkings?

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Well, I haven't made much progress until about a week ago. In that week, I think I've made a huge amount of progress (relative to my months long lack of it). I can sense my tulpa's presence more strongly, and her mindvoice is a little easier to hear now, although I still have to focus on it to hear it at all.

 

To follow your slowpoke analogy, the Shellder of progress is difficult to attain, but I almost have it.

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