NyarukoRyuichi

I have a sinister side of me that is harming my tulpa

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I created my tulpa on 28 Dec 2015. And I have been taking care of her. I'm still working on her personality through parroting and puppeting. Her name's nyaruko. Yeah I got that name from an anime. Haiyore nyaruko San. I recently finished watching it And my tulpa looks like nyaruko except her eyes are blue instead of green and has neko ears and a fluffy tail. I'm still working on it but, I have a sinister side of me. It's something like "I wonder what would happen if I stab someone" and stuff. I think it comes from my otherself. I used to be someone who loves fighting and I have a lot of rage. But when I'm 14, I decided to take control of my lust for fighting and rage to the point that I couldn't punch someone even if they killed my loved ones. And so, this sinister side of me seems to be attacking nyaruko. Like tearing off her arms in front of me. And we're at the wonderland I only just recently discovered I have powers there. I took her arms and place them back and I gave her some of my powers to protect herself. But I'm worried about hurting her. I can't touch her because I'm scared that my sinister side will take over and it's difficult for me take control. In the physical world, I can control my sinister side easily. But in the mind, I can't. And I saw nyaruko was scared of my sinister side. And I'm afraid I'll hurt her even more. I don't want to hurt her I just want to stop thinking about "what happens if" maybe it's because my blood lust for fighting and rage is my true nature and that I locked it away and it's trying to get revenge by hurting nyaruko..

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Guest Anonymous

Okay. It's fine for your tulpa to have an aggressive side and for you to have internal rage and energy. I have the same thing. My thoughtform Melian does "Melian Show" day dreams with me in which we collaborate on imagining her being on adventures. Many of these episodes are very violent. She can be a martial artist or a spy for example. In some of these episodes she kills people, in others she "dies." That is her form is destroyed violently. It is acting and imagining and role playing, but it does release tension in us. There are also lustful Melian Shows.

 

In short, you are worrying too much. It is okay to express rage and violence inside your wonderland with your tulpa in my opinion.


Oh and in some epsisodes Melian is just evil. She has been an evil witch for instance. It is acting out or expressing something, but ultimately not harmful to her in any way.

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It doesn't really matter if you imagine your tulpa dying or being hurt. It matters if you put attention and meaning into it. You could imagine someone around you in the physical world dying, but if you don't really do it it doesn't matter, does it? Same goes for your tulpa. If you discredit the thought, it won't really happen


 

I'm not going to listen to you guys since you are all probably just talking to yourself and don't really have a tulpa like me.

 

 

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It doesn't really matter if you imagine your tulpa dying or being hurt. It matters if you put attention and meaning into it. You could imagine someone around you in the physical world dying, but if you don't really do it it doesn't matter, does it? Same goes for your tulpa. If you discredit the thought, it won't really happen

 

This.

 

I once believed my tulpa had died. I had extreme face-melting anxiety for about 7 seconds. It was only because I believed it could happen, that it happened. Luckily tulpa's are strong, and cannot simply disappear in the snap of a finger. I'm told even if the decision is a conscious one, tulpas won't... go away just like that. So, she had returned to me, and I felt like a big dumb-face Mcgee for believing in a thought so outrageous. Even for a second. It's all about belief.

 

But in your case, it seems like all you have to do is say sorry and that you don't mean to have these thoughts.. You both might have to deal with it for awhile until a solution can be found. You may feel guilty for having these thoughts, but as long as you both know those thoughts and images don't define you or your relationship, you should be goob.

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This.

 

I once believed my tulpa had died. I had extreme face-melting anxiety for about 7 seconds. It was only because I believed it could happen, that it happened. Luckily tulpa's are strong, and cannot simply disappear in the snap of a finger. I'm told even if the decision is a conscious one, tulpas won't... go away just like that. So, she had returned to me, and I felt like a big dumb-face Mcgee for believing in a thought so outrageous. Even for a second. It's all about belief.

 

But in your case, it seems like all you have to do is say sorry and that you don't mean to have these thoughts.. You both might have to deal with it for awhile until a solution can be found. You may feel guilty for having these thoughts, but as long as you both know those thoughts and images don't define you or your relationship, you should be goob.

 

Indeed. A tulpa is, beforehand, a concept more than it is a tangible and physical object. What happens in thoughts is non-temporal, in a way that things can be done and undone with relative ease. Although this only comes to the whole wonderland-effect part of things. Thoughts and opinions based on what you do, though, cannot be altered with such ease.


 

Ah, I'm too tired. I only came here to help.

« — Va, je ne te hais point ! »

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The way I see it; everyone has that "sinister side". I do, and you do, too. If you believe that it will hurt your tulpa, then it will. If you don't, then it won't. I don't think this is something you should be ashamed of, and even better, you can solve this internal rage while forcing with your tulpa instead of being afraid that it'll hurt her.


I'm SomethingDire, and Céleste is my partner in crime.

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I created my tulpa on 28 Dec 2015. And I have been taking care of her. I'm still working on her personality through parroting and puppeting. Her name's nyaruko. Yeah I got that name from an anime. Haiyore nyaruko San. I recently finished watching it And my tulpa looks like nyaruko except her eyes are blue instead of green and has neko ears and a fluffy tail. I'm still working on it but, I have a sinister side of me. It's something like "I wonder what would happen if I stab someone" and stuff. I think it comes from my otherself. I used to be someone who loves fighting and I have a lot of rage. But when I'm 14, I decided to take control of my lust for fighting and rage to the point that I couldn't punch someone even if they killed my loved ones. And so, this sinister side of me seems to be attacking nyaruko. Like tearing off her arms in front of me. And we're at the wonderland I only just recently discovered I have powers there. I took her arms and place them back and I gave her some of my powers to protect herself. But I'm worried about hurting her. I can't touch her because I'm scared that my sinister side will take over and it's difficult for me take control. In the physical world, I can control my sinister side easily. But in the mind, I can't. And I saw nyaruko was scared of my sinister side. And I'm afraid I'll hurt her even more. I don't want to hurt her I just want to stop thinking about "what happens if" maybe it's because my blood lust for fighting and rage is my true nature and that I locked it away and it's trying to get revenge by hurting nyaruko..

 

I agree with t he above. If it's role play, it can be harmless. I mean if the tulpa is in your mind space, they aren't bound by the normal physical sensations that a 'real' human body feels. Violent play doesn't have to be 'painful'. It could even be pleasant.

 

I'm just making my first tulpa, so what do I know? But I'm specifically imagining her to have a soft body that is immune to damage and pain and a healing factor that prevents any amount of damage from being unpleasant. Just because I know I have a dark side, and I don't want to risk ever hurting her because of my own weird moods.

 

In the end, the only way you can really hurt a tulpa is emotionally, right? Try imagine her being immune to pain, or even make 'damage' ticklish or pleasant.

 

I don't know. I'm new to this, so that's just me rambling. I do that.

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