ThatOneWeirdGuy

Benjamin's Progress Report (NEW)

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Just do it before you go to sleep. Don't let other people rule out what you do and how you live your life, you are failing Ben in the case you go with the mentality that 'I can't do it any time', wake up during the night, do something, passive force, narrate through the day. Is it that you cannot do it or is it that you do not want to do it?


A wise man once said: 'Before judging a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away, and you've got new shoes.'

 

Graced are those who could avoid this phenomenon. This is perhaps the worst expression of evil in humanity's history, but who am I to judge?

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Yeah, I'll agree with Iscariot here. Also, helping out your loved ones can be a good thing until you start to rip off chunks from your daily life and seriously start putting things aside to be with them.


I'm SomethingDire, and Céleste is my partner in crime.

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If you have no time, then you have no time. That's fine. Ben will just have to wait a while. I'm sure Ben understands and can wait. She'll still be there when you get back.

 

And that's the thing. Ben is probably going to be with you for the rest of your life at this point. Every once in a while, you're gonna get busy and not have time for her, and that's okay. Stop freaking out over this stuff; this is all up to what works for you and Ben. You don't need to impress us or play by our rules if you have your own that work for you and your tulpa.

 

And here's another thing: your tulpa is not going to backslide unless you think she can, so stop worrying "whether she's even there anymore." If you still remember what makes Ben Ben, then yes, she's there. Your lack of attention is not going to starve her or anything. It's not going to help her progress any, but it's not going to hurt her either. Dissipation is a great deal more complicated than that.

 

She's still there and she still loves you. I'm sure she understands. Life happens. You're fine.


~ Member of SparrowNR's system ~

~ I am a soulbond. Click here to find out what that means. ~

 

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Pleeb made a small lecture a long while ago on how tulpas could very much just disappear if you don't give them attention. A tulpa lives off attention, attention and thoughts that are directed at them in any given way. A lot of people neglected their tulpas for very long whiles, we're speaking months of their existence, and ended up with no tulpa anymore, which was a shame but it's the result of neglect, there's no nice way to put it. The ideal you are promoting would only apply to advanced tulpas with actual autonomy, tulpas that can manifest on their own without the host having to put effort in doing anything, and Ben seems young enough to be able to do that already so I'm not entirely sure that it's possible. The issue is that the OP is going to like your reply the most and take it to heart and put it in practice, but the less time you spend with your tulpa, or rather, the less time you spend providing them with attention and remembering their traits, the more they'll dissolve in nothingness, not that it never happened in the past with certain people.

 

I'm sorry to say this but there isn't 'no time' to literally think. Thinking takes extremely short amounts of time, the human brain takes less than a few seconds to process important amounts of information and analyze them, tulpas that are young and cannot self-sustain (unlike you since your host seems super seasoned into tulpamancy/soulbonding etc) without the host.


A wise man once said: 'Before judging a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away, and you've got new shoes.'

 

Graced are those who could avoid this phenomenon. This is perhaps the worst expression of evil in humanity's history, but who am I to judge?

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Temar (Blargh. Posted this on my host's account):

 

That is a fair concern, J. Iscariot, and I will admit that I am coming from the bias of a very well-established autonomous entity.

 

However, it is clear here that the OP is just not capable of dealing with a tulpa on top of other stresses right now. I've dealt with a host with anxiety problems my entire existence, and this has pretty much all the benchmarks. And when you're dealing with anxiety, you have to manage the amount of stressors in the environment, because when you're in anxiety DEFCON mode, even something like hanging out with your awesome headbuddy can feel like an obligation weighing you down. It sucks, but if ThatOneWeirdGuy is at all like my host, he simply CAN NOT handle dealing with his tulpa on top of whatever else is going on right now, so telling him that he has to or he'll lose something awesome is only going to stress him out more.

 

Perhaps you're right, and my bias (as well as the fact that soulbonds work just a little bit differently) is leading me to lead him astray. But if that's the case, then the tulpa will start fading either way.

 

I've said it before and I'll say it again; a lot of this whole tulpamancy thing is about what you believe can happen. So even if Ben does end up fading from lack of attention, just the belief that she can come back could act as the necessary placebo to make that so.

 

But telling him that he has to force? Judging by his posts, that's not gonna help. Heck, it might lead him to conclude that he's just not capable of handling a tulpa at all, ever, and straight-up dissipate her, which is, imo, a worst-case scenario.


Sparrow---Temar---Joss---Ayo--et al

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Well, if he is as busy, maybe he truly is not capable of handling a tulpa in the first place. I really do understand that there are real-life obligations one needs to face and that sometimes, there can be mental blocks, anxiety and stress rendering the host's capacities in tulpamancy very limited. We shouldn't encourage someone or tell them what makes them feel comfortable the most, we should tell them what they need to know; they can take this smoothly and steadily at the risk of having their tulpa fade away into nothingness. The scenario presented is one a lot of tulpamancers have faced in the fast, and ended up with nothing anymore. I understand your soulbonding background and that it might differ a bit from the tulpamancy model of things on the consistency things, I'm really ignorant on the level of how soulbonds exactly work, but the topic has always fascinated me and I'm not exactly sure of how things go. You seem to mention belief quite often, and in no way am I invalidating what you are saying; you make very valid points, I'm speaking out of bias at this point, although, not unwarranted is what. Perhaps belief plays a big role in soulbonding, but the model I am adapting in thoughtform-mancing is more actions and less belief. This does not serve to invalidate any belief, of course, you could very much be right and I would be wrong, and that would be something great.

 

A tulpa requires time and commitment, by time I mean patience mostly but commitment is the effort to do things when they need to be done in this domain. There are many ways to calm yourself down a bit, or wait for the right opportunity which should not take too long. I'm sorry for acting cold about this, I haven't been in that type of distressful situations in the past psychologically, my brain would just make it so that I couldn't feel anything bad or good for that matter, which was pretty shitty, and while I do respect the stressed position and point of view, it should not be an excuse for anyone (not talking about anyone in specific)

 

Something we all need to understand is that we are dealing with people with emotions and thoughts of their own. Not only that but we're dealing with self-aware entities that can perceive life in similar ways, blocking them off because of busy time schedules is not the host's fault, but things need to be done.

 

If he is going to lose something awesome, it would be hypocritical of me not to state so. Not because it's something I'd have experienced (I did not), but because it really, really is something very common in all tulpamancy communities, people get bored, they drop it, they get busy, and the lifelong companion analogy has much less credibility at that point.


A wise man once said: 'Before judging a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away, and you've got new shoes.'

 

Graced are those who could avoid this phenomenon. This is perhaps the worst expression of evil in humanity's history, but who am I to judge?

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Fair enough. You make good points.

 

However, I do not think a tulpa withering away from lack of attention is a foregone conclusion, so we are just going to have to disagree on that. I've seen 'bonds in my system get no attention and go dormant for years, sometimes decades, then re-emerge without warning as if they'd never even been gone. Again, maybe this is a matter of how well-developed they were before dormancy, but it's hard to argue that when we have partial bonds who've been in stasis for 7+ years and yet are still there. Maybe it's a soulbonding thing, or maybe this is just a matter of different minds storing information in different ways. I can't say.

 

But I tend to be an optimist, and I know I'm a bit of a teddy bear. I'm not here telling the OP what he wants to hear; I'm telling him what I believe can be the case with the right mindset. I'm not lying, because my personal experience does say that a headperson can survive lack of attention for long periods of time.

 

I'll agree that commitment is important. Heh, I've been quite a commitment for 17 years, or so I'm told. ;) But there is a difference between long-term commitment and short-term capability of handling that commitment. Sometimes, you have to manage what, exactly, you can handle at any given time (again, especially when dealing with anxiety) and prioritize. Perhaps this is because I'm a soulbond in a host who's had a few mental health scares, but I will always put the mental health of the host first, before my own happiness. I assumed it would be the same way for Ben, but I could be wrong on that.

 

In short, sounds like we're both tackling this from opposite ends of the optimism-pessimism spectrum, and so we're really not going to agree on what the inevitable conclusion is.

 

ThatOneWeirdGuy, be sure to read both sides of this discussion, because J. Iscariot does bring up some good points. But this is not a decision we can make for you. It's up to you how to handle this.


~ Member of SparrowNR's system ~

~ I am a soulbond. Click here to find out what that means. ~

 

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