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Apologies for the confusing title, but I wanted to get straight to the point-- One of our system mates, Chloe, feels pain and general discomfort more than everyone else. What I mean is, if I, for example, stub my toe, it'll hurt more for Chloe than for me or any other system mates. Pain and general stimuli is described by my system mates a "diluted" when they aren't switched in or possessing, and if they aren't active, they generally don't feel anything.
We first noticed this about a month or so ago, so it is a new development, but the "why is still unknown. Chloe is, for all intents and purposes, a young child, and with her feeling pain and such more than everyone else, it just... pains me to see. She deserves the least strife of all of us, yet she experiences the most.
For reference, when I say "Chloe feels amplified pain", I don't mean that in the wonderland she feels pain, I mean if she fronts(and pain is a trigger for her, mind you), the pain physically gets worse, in the most literal of senses. She also can feel aching joints and such very clearly, whereas I and others might not notice. We haven't done tests with "positive stimuli", so to speak, because, quite frankly, what would that qualify as? A massage? All the same, she's insisting that it's only occured with negative stimuli.
We just want answers. I don't want Chloe to have to bear this weight. I don't want to be haunted by her screaming "MAKE IT STOP!" when my wounds hurt. Does anyone have any advice? Does anyone have any similar experiences? We beg for help.
Edit: I feel like I should add context to the line "I don't want to be haunted by her screaming 'MAKE IT STOP!' when my wounds hurt." I recently fell and messed up my arm and knee pretty badly, and last night as I was getting into bed, I mistakenly put my weight on my injured knee, which as you can imagine, was insanely painful. Chloe describes what she felt as "white-hot searing pain, shooting through the whole body, making me only want to scream in agony." Thus, her screaming "MAKE IT STOP!" And let me tell you, it was utterly terrifying and heartbreaking seeing her like that.
I had this idea circling in my mind regarding the way tulpamancy experiences are being discussed that I wasn't sure how to express. So generally, the things that we experience can be divided into either events that are certain or those that take a specific place on a spectre. A certain event is something that can be easily put into words, like the lack or presence of something (for example lights on/lights off), but there are also things that can't be, due to their nature, conveniently described with words. As an example, take a person who's being asked what the temperature in the room is like. They can say that it was too warm or that it was too cold, which is something most people will usually agree on. But they can also use the expression that the temperature was "pretty average" or "ok", and here's the problem that comes with it. The temperature that the person in question considers to be "ok" or "average" can be very subjective. And I don't mean the subjectivity of an experience, I mean the subjectivity of concept definition.
There are words that we use that we don't give much thought, because we tend to assume that their definition is universal. We obviously don't clarify every time wheter our understanding of concepts like "tall" or "wide" match that of a person we talk to. It would simply be too inconvenient, so we instead run with the assumption that our understanding of the concept is the same, deeming it easier to just clarify it should a misunderstanding arise. But I think that this aspect is often being overlooked when people discuss tulpamancy experiences. What I'm getting on here is that possibly a significant portion of doubts that people get to deal with could be attributed to these discrepancies in concepts understanding.
Here's an example of what I mean. Imagine a person who's trying to help their headmate achieve vocality. They read a guide or maybe a post that describes vocality as essentially a way of communication where one hears their headmate. They associate those words with their understanding of what hearing is and start practicing. They spend a month, two months, three months consistently practicing, and they do achieve certain results, but they never quite get there. They assume that they're doing something wrong or that something wrong is with their headmate. They start doubting. But in fact, they did everything right and had gotten exactly where they should've, it's just that the current way they hear their headmate ended up not matching their expectation of what hearing would work like. It happened both because the guide/post they read didn't describe what hearing a headmate is like, and because they didn't give much thought to where exactly their definition of hearing is on the scale from complete lack of any thoughts and a vivid hallucination that feels completely alien as if it was coming from another person outside their mind.
From cases like these come questions like "How well can you X" or "What does X feel like". But that's not as much of an issue if they do receive a good answer to their question. The problem here is in that not everyone will ask those questions, and even if they do the answer may introduce even more confusion. Someone might say "I can hear them clearly". Well, what does "clearly" imply in this sentence exactly? Is it supposed to feel slightly muffled, but still be easy enough to make out words? Is it meant to feel like it's coming from inside or from outside? And if neither of these details match does that mean the person is not able to hear their headmate clearly? What if they already achieved the best possible quality, but expect it to be better and think that it's not in fact clear. Because of these discrepancies, someone (person A) may claim they do hear their headmates clearly, because they think that it doesn't get much clearer that that. At the same time, another person (person B) who in fact had gone a lot further than person A may claim that they can't hear their headmates very well, because in their understanding it should be even clearer. This way you end up with a false comparison when person A seems to have better developed skills thatn person B, while in fact it's the complete opposite.
And it gets the more dangerous the more complex the concept that's being discussed is. There aren't many words that can describe how sentient and independent someone is. Headmates are a relatively novel concept in terms of how we think of them nowadays, and therefore the languages we speak don't really have words that describe how we experience the sentience and independence of someone inside. When we discuss these concepts and how far we've gotten in developing such skills we have to make do with what our language offers. How red is that red exactly? Uh... MiIdly red? Slightly more saturated than regular red? Oh, no, it's not red, it's crimson. Except we don't have crimson, cherry, ruby, scarlet, garnet, and rose words equivalents for describing the concepts of sentience and independence. I think it's a very important thing to keep in mind when judging own progress.
What do y'all think of this?
I had written this note for those who find themselves struggling with procrastination or general lack of motivation when it comes to active forcing and 'mancing practices in general. Not sure what section this should go under, but I myself wouldn't consider it to be a guide hence why I named it the way I did. Critique on this piece is very welcome! I suspect I might've written it with a slightly too confident of an attitude. Same for grammar. I kinda suck at constructing fluently sounding sentences and using commas, haha.
Getting There_ A Note on Productivity.pdf
By Apollo Fire
The purpose of this essay is to warn new tulpamancers of the many possible consequences of allowing their system to grow beyond a manageable amount of members, we well as emphasize the positives of keeping their system small, with about 1-2 tulpas being the best possible range.
This essay is not meant to imply that systems that are currently large should not exist. It is only meant to dissuade newer hosts/systems from getting large themselves, or else they risk experiencing neglect and a variety of other troubling issues that take away from the quality of life for the system.
Additionally, the end of the essay has a list of points that a host should consider before adding new tulpas to their system.
Here is the link.
Tulpa Systems Why Less is More.pdf
(Submitted for Articles)
Tulpamancy is a heavily subjective phenomenon where there are no set right and wrong so the written content may not be useful or applicable for you. There are usually exceptions to many things and when reading a blanket statement it is likely to keep the text short and sweet. If any claims are made it is likely based off of personal experiences and interactions of others. Please enjoy your read!
The Child Philosophy
Written by Cjero with the help of Linkzelda and Sock (thank you very much!)
This philosophy comes down to to understand that a tulpa is much like a child in the regard of development and that patience is required and for the most part will focus on neurology as its basis. It is also more focused on changing the mindset of the host to aid the development of their tulpa rather than outright treating them like a child (though there are elements of the latter). In addition this philosophy is focused on young tulpas and new hosts that are not sure on how to progress (although not strictly for). It will also help
The Philosophy (in general)
A tulpa is initially much like a baby or child in regards of development that how you interact with them will reflect on their growth as an individual. A human child takes years to develop speech and become ‘vocal’ through ceaseless narration; a tulpa much less because they can utilize your experiences. It takes a while for us to grow the strength and muscle memory to properly maneuver our body; a tulpa needs time to connect with the body to ‘possess’. Be patient. As patient as whoever raised you was by feeding you and cleaning your diapers.
When raising a tulpa you should be considerate of how you interact with them, for example if a tulpa is exposed to too much violence they may grow jaded or even consider it normal in the future. If they are babied and never told no they might grow spoiled. Neglect them and they might grow distant or asocial. When you create a tulpa with a preset personality they can still greatly deviate depending on your interactions with them since the human brain keeps developing until your late 30’s so it is important to treat them properly; it’s a tightrope.
The only shortcut to developing your child/tulpa faster is to interact more and consistently. In other words force them*. What many tulpamancers seem to do is usually sit behind their computers doing little with their young tulpas; show them the world! Having them learn from memories is the same as comparing sightseeing when actually present to simply viewing an image so take the liberty to allow your tulpa to explore the outside world because what may seem redundant to you might be exhilarating for them.
*but really forcing just means interacting
The Environment & First Times
It is important to be aware that the environment of your tulpa is the mind, even when imposed in the physical world. Your tulpa does not have a physical body that will process sensations for you so initially you will have to do it for them (referred to as sensory-imposition or simply imposition). A quick example: circle your index finger on your palm a couple of times then stop the act, then use the memory to simulate the sensation and keep it going. This will allow for more way to interact and potentially (relatively) better methods for developing your tulpa.
The reason it is important to be aware of your environment (aside that being aware of your environment is always beneficial for a multitude of reasons) is because the environment your tulpa is raised in is crucial. They might not potentially have bad classmates as they grow up or study however they might have to deal with negative thoughts which will reflect on their growth! If you are depressed and insist on making a tulpa it is heavily incentivized to keep your mind positive with happy thoughts. You might sometime have a slip of thought that could shock your tulpa. For example a completely impulsive and irregular thought of hurting an acquaintance so it is important to keep your environment stable and clean. Although this is where it gets tricky due to having to properly balance it out! If you do not expose your tulpa to any negativity or the ‘big bad adult world’ they might be unable to handle it in the future. Similar to how a child needs to be vaccinated, they need to be exposed to a milder version at first.
To keep improving this guide I would like to hear more feedback (PM's preferable) or things to expand on. It's not finished, though I want to add what I have for now.