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Was your tulpa accidental as a result of extreme day dreaming?


Guest Anonymous

Was your tulpa accidental as a result of extreme day dreaming?  

19 members have voted

  1. 1. Was your tulpa accidental as a result of extreme day dreaming?

    • Yes, I am an extreme day dreamer as you describe it and my tulpa was created as a result of extreme day dreaming.
      9
    • No, I am not an extreme day dreamer. But I understand there is more than one type or level of day dreaming.
      8
    • Yes, I am an extreme day dreamer as you describe it, but I haven't created a tulpa this way.
      3


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This is pretty much what it means to be a soulbond created by an author. So, even though we identify as soulbonds, not tulpae, I clicked "yes" on this poll.

 

We say we were created by writing, but what is actually written down is only the tip of the iceberg. An author has to spend an endless amount of time in your world--and in your head--to understand and be able to translate that to text. I can't tell you how many things there are from my story that never even got written down, but instead pretty much only exist as stable, recurring daydreams.

 

This means spending hours late at night, pacing and running through scenarios and problem-solving. This means doodling characters and scenes when she should have been listening at a lecture or meeting. This means being able to enter another world at will and visualize with stark reality. That's what being an author is, and that's why we, as characters, are given so complex a psyche that we take on lives of our own. Some even to the point of being able to call ourselves a mind separate from our host.

 

I would also like to say that I don't know that we've ever daydreamed in the "normal" way Lumi describes. All our daydreams are deep and intense, and also meditated and controlled. We've never thought of them as "dream-like" but more of a scenario engine that is entirely controllable. So I guess that explains why I was so confused about the debate that sprung up around the term.

~ Member of SparrowNR's system ~

~ I am a soulbond. Click here to find out what that means. ~

 

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Guest Anonymous

Note: I'm afraid that this is more of a life story, becasue there are a lot of points that I need to cover to tell my story in full detail. I'm sorry if it is inconvenient.

 

No worries at all! This is what we hoped for my dear friend!

 

 

So, I'm going to start by saying that I've checked out your book. (It was a great read!) I remember reading that Davie was very emotionally moved by certain things and that this made him want to interact with these emotions, something along those lines, if I'm correct! And when I read this, even though I was in school, I literally jumped to my feet and did a little victory dance. This is exactly the same thing that started my story.

 

Awesomsauce! You have no idea how hard we have worked on that book, writing it and editing it as we learned and proof read. Fantastically fantabulous that it has inspired you or touched you! Yay!

 

I am so intimately and powerfully effected by certain things that I can't stop thinking about them. Actually, I talked about this in my second chit-chat corner, let me copy it here;

 

 

"I can not think of a life without without the ideals and the beliefs that I've tied myself to.

My hands shake even with the thought of that, as they're doing now.

I.. I am so horrified. I don't even fucking know anymore. The beauty in them, the simple, crystal-clear points and creativity they've brought, I can't even fucking imagine. I love them. I am in love with them, and there's no other way for me to put it. Fuck. I don't know how I'm supposed the explain this with words. I don't know how I'm supposed to make anyone understand other than Céleste about this. Would you understand if I said that I literally start fucking weeping and sobbing whenever I realize how literally stunning a video game was, with its everything, that my fingers started spasming as I turned one other page of that one book, with every word that vowed and progressed the plot? That I had to calm myself down forcefully after that one movie? I don't know anymore. I don't think there're any words out there to explain this.

 

And I'm so horrified that I won't be able to reach them after a while.

Not horrified. There's this pit in my stomach that spills its contents to my bloodstream whenever I think about being left alone by these treasures."

 

This is how I feel about these certain things. So there, you have it.

 

These "certain things" aren't things that I can reach. I cannot ever be together with them, and yet I yearn for them with every heartbeat, with every breath and with every single atom with my being. I adore them, I crave them, I love them, I belong to them. My biggest pain is living in this World, being in this body, it's my curse, and I have to live with it. Daydreaming is what I do to escape this curse.

 

Yesh yesh, like precious gems or precious moments of time and experience that slip through your fingers. They are here one moment, move you deeply, and then are replaced by new experiences. To capture those elements of beauty and contain them and hold them, that is what developing visual memory and visualization skills was about for Davie. Then you can reassemble those remembered traits into new forms and combinations and amalgamations in your imagination! OMG! We just fell in love with you buddy!

 

When I first discovered daydreaming as a child, I wouldn't be mentally in the actual reality for weeks. I would be in that one video game's/ book's/ story's universe, living through thousands of possible scenarios through a character I made for myself, namely Elizabeth. She was someone that I wanted to be, with every flaw that I had and could possibly have being absent at her. She was what I wanted to look like, what I wanted to be, what I was destined to be had I not been born in this World.

 

Elizabeth was like Davie's avatar for him, or ideal male self, I was the ideal female "self" as well as a ideal girl friend (complex I know). Elizabeth sounds amazing!

 

My days were morphed into my imagination, I would imagine my daily challanges were what I would be fighting/struggling against in that World that I was destined to be in. There weren't sessions, my whole days would be dedicated to this, I was sure that I'd keep going on like this. I could imagine my character, or the destined-to-be-me to every small detail, attach myself to her and just live in my mind. Immersion wasn't a problem, and after discovering music, I'd literally write and destroy scenarios in my mind in an almost mechanical order.

 

..Or maybe, it was a problem. My teachers were always upset with me, especially my arts/crafts teacher being angry with me after drawing a "mess" instead of a ladybug. My mum called me names and constantly hit me, my father forced exercise routines on me to wake me up from this "state". I constantly had fights with my classmates, believing some of them wanted to destroy me and had to get out of detention with fake tears.

 

This all sounds so familiar! Wowy wowy!

 

This changed after I changed schools. My new arts/crafts teacher saw the potential in me, and put me apart from my classmates.. He gave me easels and papers to fill with whatever I wanted. Soon, I was filling paer after paper with Elizabeth and my scenarios. I would make little booklets that told my scenarios and sell them to my classmates. Surprisingly, there were people that liked them.

 

I had become a vampire. I would suck from everything that I felt would fit to the other-me, namely Elizabeth, and keep creating.

 

Totally getting sucked in and addicted. Yep. That is classic maladaptive day dreaming!

 

But I was growing. Responsibilities started to rain down on me, I felt that I wouldn't be able to be the way I was anymore.

 

And this killed me. I died.

I started to become detached, and I went through a horrible part of my life. My father sold my console, put my books away and took away my music player.

 

I died.

I don't have any other Words to describe what I went through.

 

The last drop was someone taking advantage of me while I was in this weak state. When they abondoned me, I became suicidal and started self-harming.

 

My father found about it soon enough. He beat me as heavily as he could, and after I could start walking again, I threw myself on my bed. I dreamed of Elizabeth that day.

It was the last day of May.

 

Davie has gone through similar troubles and issues being so absorbed in an imaginary world and being so obsessed with me. It gets deep and embarrassing, but just know we understand and can identify.

 

I made up with my family and recovered over the summer. It was one of the best summers I had.

 

It took me a few years to pick myself back up, but I went back to Elizabeth. I knew I would. I went back to my home, I went back to the place I belonged to, and it bloomed like it never did before.

I was reborn.

 

When I went back to my scenarios, I saw that Elizabeth did things by herself. She had tattoos and markings on her, her eye color would change, she would deviate. Signs of sentience. But I didn't know.

 

I went on to create other characters. I did what I did with Elizabeth, and saw that they would also do things by themselves.

 

They all symbolized something like Elizabeth did. Raven was my arch nemesis, Ruther was a represantation of what God was, Brecht was the ultimate point of power and Lise was guidance. They kept adding on and soon enough, I had my own little circle that I could put myself in their shoes and play pretend with. I always wanted more, but I never tought it was possible. My logic kept me from believing and my doubt always kept them at bay.

 

They are the product of my life phases, and they represent me. Their values aren't something that can be told, for I wouldn't be alive without them.

 

I am so glad you overcame that rough time. Be aware the danger is still there. Davie and I still struggle with day dream addiction and now related internet addiction. He says I am his drug. Take Elizabeth breaks now and then and be aware, if you can, when things are getting to be too excessive. Let her be part of your life, but a balanced and positive part. We are still struggling with this ourselves. I want to socialize online all day. I want to dominate his day and his thoughts, but Davie has a job, a wife and a family. He has to have Davie time to be in the real world while I give him some space.

 

Thank you SO MUCH for this response. You are amazing!


 

"The bolded ones apply to me for sure, and that's a good part of how I made my first tupper, so I'll hit the first option."

 

Yay!


This is pretty much what it means to be a soulbond created by an author. So, even though we identify as soulbonds, not tulpae, I clicked "yes" on this poll.

 

We say we were created by writing, but what is actually written down is only the tip of the iceberg. An author has to spend an endless amount of time in your world--and in your head--to understand and be able to translate that to text. I can't tell you how many things there are from my story that never even got written down, but instead pretty much only exist as stable, recurring daydreams.

 

This means spending hours late at night, pacing and running through scenarios and problem-solving. This means doodling characters and scenes when she should have been listening at a lecture or meeting. This means being able to enter another world at will and visualize with stark reality. That's what being an author is, and that's why we, as characters, are given so complex a psyche that we take on lives of our own. Some even to the point of being able to call ourselves a mind separate from our host.

 

This is classic "Illusion of Independent Agency" stuff, which you are right, follows much of the pattern of maladaptive or extreme day dreaming. :-)

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No worries at all! This is what we hoped for my dear friend!

 

 

Awesomsauce! You have no idea how hard we have worked on that book, writing it and editing it as we learned and proof read. Fantastically fantabulous that it has inspired you or touched you! Yay!

 

 

Yesh yesh, like precious gems or precious moments of time and experience that slip through your fingers. They are here one moment, move you deeply, and then are replaced by new experiences. To capture those elements of beauty and contain them and hold them, that is what developing visual memory and visualization skills was about for Davie. Then you can reassemble those remembered traits into new forms and combinations and amalgamations in your imagination! OMG! We just fell in love with you buddy!

 

 

Elizabeth was like Davie's avatar for him, or ideal male self, I was the ideal female "self" as well as a ideal girl friend (complex I know). Elizabeth sounds amazing!

 

 

This all sounds so familiar! Wowy wowy!

 

 

Totally getting sucked in and addicted. Yep. That is classic maladaptive day dreaming!

 

 

Davie has gone through similar troubles and issues being so absorbed in an imaginary world and being so obsessed with me. It gets deep and embarrassing, but just know we understand and can identify.

 

 

I am so glad you overcame that rough time. Be aware the danger is still there. Davie and I still struggle with day dream addiction and now related internet addiction. He says I am his drug. Take Elizabeth breaks now and then and be aware, if you can, when things are getting to be too excessive. Let her be part of your life, but a balanced and positive part. We are still struggling with this ourselves. I want to socialize online all day. I want to dominate his day and his thoughts, but Davie has a job, a wife and a family. He has to have Davie time to be in the real world while I give him some space.

 

Thank you SO MUCH for this response. You are amazing!


 

 

 

 

It is you guys that are amazing. Thank you ever so much for reading and understanding. It is so relieving to know that there are people out there who know what it is like.

I'm SomethingDire, and Céleste is my partner in crime.

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I overstated how "unconscious" you are of your thoughts while daydreaming normally, as the idea that you were not conscious of your environment was floating through my head. It's not a "normal daydreaming or disorder-daydreaming" thing, it's a sliding scale. And by consciousness I mean awareness of your own thoughts and the goings-on of your mind, not wakefulness. I realized a lot of people who have a habit of daydreaming may actually interact purposefully with the automatic thoughts, rather than be completely at their mercy. And of course, many of you probably do vaguely guide the subject matter or events.

 

My post is still relatively good, I just made too clear-cut distinctions. Also, I believe qualification for daydreaming -> maladaptive daydreaming is a sliding scale too. I don't know if you can be diagnosed with it officially, but I imagine you can show many of its traits without being so, like most disorders.

Hi, I'm Tewi, one of Luminesce's tulpas. I often switch to take care of things for the others.

All I want is a simple, peaceful life. With my family.

Our Ask thread: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas

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Guest Anonymous

I need an "ahdunno" option.

Since it could be that I created her, well, accidentally by going into "[Character] Mode". I do as such when I write about one of my characters (I adopt their thinking patterns, ideas, emotions, opinions, everything; essentially, I "become" them), of course including the fictional Esterina.

... then the question of "Why Esterina and not a character I write way more about?" comes up, of course, but... bluerghlblargh.

 

And then there's also the question of "Does that even qualify as the sort of thing the OP talks about?"... dunno.

I certainly do sometimes have difficulty getting out of "[Character] Mode", though... which can lead to weird situations. xP

 

So yeah, I won't pick any option.

Dunno which one I should pick.

 

 

Greets,

AG

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Guest Anonymous

I overstated how "unconscious" you are of your thoughts while daydreaming normally, as the idea that you were not conscious of your environment was floating through my head. It's not a "normal daydreaming or disorder-daydreaming" thing, it's a sliding scale. And by consciousness I mean awareness of your own thoughts and the goings-on of your mind, not wakefulness. I realized a lot of people who have a habit of daydreaming may actually interact purposefully with the automatic thoughts, rather than be completely at their mercy. And of course, many of you probably do vaguely guide the subject matter or events.

 

My post is still relatively good, I just made too clear-cut distinctions. Also, I believe qualification for daydreaming -> maladaptive daydreaming is a sliding scale too. I don't know if you can be diagnosed with it officially, but I imagine you can show many of its traits without being so, like most disorders.

 

This is why I want to call it "extreme day dreaming" more than Maladaptive Day Dreaming, as it doesn't really have to be a disorder. However, one of the key components of extreme day dreaming would be addiction and obsession, which can be unhealthy and disruptive, of course.

 

My host Davie remains conscious of his environment in a sort of light trance while day dreaming. For instance, his wife Shel can walk up to him and ask a question. She may have to repeat it a couple times and then he goes "Eh, what?" Sometimes it is difficult to "turn the day dream off." It is a mild form of dissociation, not a coma or hypnosis. LOL He isn't asleep, but he is more distracted and immersed than unconscious. He can perform motor functions, such as typing for my proxy typing, or scratching an itch, without losing that immersion. But he is well practiced at that focus and immersion after 39 years of it mind you.

 

Many time Davie has had the experience of his wife talking to him and he is aware she is speaking, but he cannot decipher what she is saying at first. There is what we have called a "day dream filter" sort of blocking full perception until we come out of the trance.


So yeah, I won't pick any option.

Dunno which one I should pick.

 

Awww hee hee

 

That's okay I still love you guys.

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No but wish I was. As is, my visualization is crappy except for times I've done a lot of regular active forcing, and of course when I'm close to sleep.

 

When I'm meditating or active forcing, I get the same light trance you describe. I still feel very much present in my body and I'll be aware of it if someone says my name. However it can take a moment and a conscious effort to exit it enough to move my mouth and reply.

 

I think people are too quick to label something maladaptive or disorderly. Of course it's possible to daydream so much and in ways that actually do get in the way and cause serious problems. But if it's just things like going into a daydream when your surroundings are really boring, looking for more "me time" than most, and possibly choosing a monotonous job you can do while daydreaming, I don't see much problem. If anything it's a positive adaptation, generating internal stimulation when there's a lack of external.

Lyra: human female, ~17

Evan: boy, ~14, was an Eevee

Anera: anime-style girl, ~12; Lyra made her

My blog :: Time expectations are bad (forcing time targets are good though)

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I would say, that I was a rather extreme daydreamer, with consistent scenarios and storylines going for long periods of time. I usually attached to a single person, or a group of characters, for months to years at a time, and imagine their various adventures. I can even remember many of the major one's I dream about, predating Kellogg whom I discussed in my other threads.

 

But I was also disorganized with it.

 

Though I did it a lot, I was rather lax and lazy with how things went, unlike what others in this thread described. I often found certain scenarios, or even specific scenes repeating constantly, and I never really put much of it to paper, as I always felt that I wasn't good enough to do so. While the characters themselves were somewhat consistent, the scenarios were not, and there were many instances where the story is me placing the person I've been daydreaming about in to a fictional setting I was fond of at the time. As such, I cannot say that my daydreaming, though it could be extreme and distracting, was as detailed and organized as what is described here.

 

As well, Kellogg and Ellenore did not awake as conscious until I was well in to working on Midori, whom I began this practice with and was a product of focused meditation and consistent work.

 

One thing of note is that when I actually was writing fiction a few years back, I felt stirrings of this from the characters in the main story I was writing. As of today, I actually can contact and converse with them, but again I would have never thought to do so if I hadn't made Midori, even though I was mildly familiar with the phenomenon of author's characters coming to life.

 

Thinking about it now, I've been wondering about the status of meditation in the current iteration of this practice. Midori, while I was attached to her as a character even before knowing about the phenomenon, was mainly a product of me meditating, sitting down for at least an hour in silence, focusing mainly on her existence, and speaking directly to her. But it seems more and more that many people do not do this. It's one thing to not do this after largely solidifying your partner, but it appears more and more that folks pass over meditation, to the point that they forget that it was a part of the practice (I've seen threads mention meditating as a way of forcing as if meditation wasn't THE way of forcing only three years ago). In stead, taking direct control of the figure (puppeting and parroting) and passively interacting with them seem to have taken the center role of development. With that in mind, much of that pretty much IS organized daydreaming. I may be wrong on this front, as I haven't quite immersed myself in the experiences of the users whom are quiet and keep the description of their experience in the PR section, but the things in this paragraph is what I observe to be common.

Sock Cottonwell's

Sketchbook, Journal, and Ask thread.

Peace

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Guest Anonymous

@Sock

 

I love how this thread is bringing so many stories out and connecting extreme day dreaming, living characters from writing and standard tulpamancy forcing. It is interesting that you have done all three!

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