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I Am Not Alone


WatersKnight

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Hey there! Welcome to our PR page. This is where we’ll be documenting a rough timeline of our experiences in this crazy journey. Somewhat questionable how often we’ll update this, but we’ll see!

 

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THE CREW

 

Kaide “Waters” | The Host | Been here since the start

Drake | Self-appointed Knight | Born 1/14/16

Gumi | “The Patriot” | Born 2/3/16

 

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2/12/16 | The State of Things

 

Whew boy, first entry. Drake turns a month old in a couple of days, Gumi has made herself at home among us. We’re all, in the words of Drake, trying to figure ourselves out. We’ve had our ups and downs and at least one person calling us insane for this, but everything is going incredibly well considering it’s only been a month. I’m quite proud of our little crew for doing what we’ve done thus far.

 

Drake has been a huge help to me, and I love him dearly for it. He helps push me away from negative, both thought wise and negativity in my general life. He’s gone as far as to “physically attack” my anxiety and suicidal thoughts as they manifested in our Wonderland. I think it started out as a joke between me and him, but one thing led to another and I appointed him a title of “Knight”. He went with this, and if anything is pretty determined to uphold it.

 

Gumi’s new around in our head. She’s a Soulbond for one, and just kind of showed up in Wonderland one day. We were confused as to what she was at first, but she quickly made it apparent she was sentient and doing things without my control. Drake held a certain dislike for her at first, and I was wary of her being here because I felt like fictional character thoughtforms had a stigma towards them. About four days after she appeared (and left and re-entered several times), I formally invited her to stay if she so wished. She was pretty happy about that. Hasn’t left since. After some words of encouragement, some discussion and being assured he wasn’t being replaced or kicked out, Drake has grown to accept her presence and they mingle like buddies now.

 

I feel a deep emotional bond with these two already. They feel like family, honestly. They make me laugh and giggle, and have their own little quirks that make them unique. Because of that, I want to give them the very best. Both they and I know they won’t experience “life” to the fullest extent as most people will, but that only makes me more determined to master possession and switching. I want to give them the very best. It’s the very least I could do for them.

Greetings from our little family! We're the Runes, though our collective name is heavily subject to change later on.

———

Drake // Tulpa

Gumi // Soulbond

 

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2/14/16 | Warming Days

 

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So, for starters—Drake turns a month old today! Woo~

 

These two got to see my boyfriend face to face for the first time today. He also happens to have a Tulpa (several, actually) and we both tried out some IRL proxying for the first time. It’s awkward, and I had trouble hearing them at some points, but we’ll get better. Drake was being the nervous bun he tends to be sometimes.

 

The day is coming to a close now. Their first Valentines, this was. I laid down and spent some one on one time with them in Wonderland. Worked on “feeling” in Wonderland, running my hands over Gumi and Drake’s arms, poking them and all that. They were confused, if anything. Haha.

 

I had sneaking suspicions that, much akin to how she was portrayed by me sometimes, Gumi wasn’t human but instead an incredibly life-like android. When I was running my fingers over Gumi’s arm, she felt… chillier, compared to Drake. Her skin felt incredibly smooth, perfect, dare I say synthetic. Up until now she hadn’t given me solid answer if her form was human or android, but I finally asked her again and she gave her meek confirmation that yes; she was indeed not human. I asked her if this was what she wanted, telling her I could theoretically make her human if she so wished. She shrugged, telling me she saw no reason to change who she was.

 

She put her ear up to my chest, hearing my heartbeat. She seemed… curious. Said us humans were “weird”. In turn, I put my own ear up to her chest. It was weird. I could “hear” her inner mechanics working, surging and… I’m not entirely sure how to describe it. It was definitely mechanical, though. Her heartbeat, I suppose.

 

One thing led to another, and we both started teasing Drake. Another thing led to another, and suddenly we were having an over the top sparring match. After that was done, we both ended with laying outside together on the green grass, looking up at the beautiful night sky with the stars shining bright. It was extremely calming, I must admit. We snuggled up for rest, we exchanged goodnights. Now, it’s about time for me myself to head to bed as well.

Greetings from our little family! We're the Runes, though our collective name is heavily subject to change later on.

———

Drake // Tulpa

Gumi // Soulbond

 

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2/19/16

 

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I had an interesting realization about these two, Gumi in particular. Ever since I formally invited her to stay, I’ve taken note to how she’s easily the more vocal between the two and, in some ways, she appears more autonomous. I’ve wondered why this is—after all, she’s been here less time than Drake and I never really intentionally went out to force with her after her appearance. But then I realized…

 

Gumi is a soulbond for a reason. I’ve been writing for her for a total of roughly a year, on and off, and in a sense that’s considered forcing. Parroting, yes, but it seems she’s stepped out from under that and has begun forging her own sense of self, I think. She still identifies as her source character, has no desire to go by any other name or anything of that sort, but I can see subtle differences between her and how I’ve written her in the past. I’m curious to see if she ever decides to try and deviate further.

 

It seems Drake gets into these occasional episodes of not being able to, as Gumi put it, “find his voice”. He becomes somewhat distant feeling during these episodes and harder to hear. It’s during these short times that Gumi has taken to acting as the middleman between me and him. I trust her to be able to do this correctly, and hopefully in due time these episodes will taper off. I've tried to ask him why these episodes happen, but he's never given me an answer, and Gumi seems unsure. If anyone has any idea what these episodes might be or what they’re caused by, please let me know.

 

So in very, very technical terms, Gumi may actually be considered older then Drake in some ways. Regardless though, I don’t want Drake to feel left behind. He’s distant sometimes, but there are key times where he’s active and talkative, should I focus on him.

Greetings from our little family! We're the Runes, though our collective name is heavily subject to change later on.

———

Drake // Tulpa

Gumi // Soulbond

 

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Hi everyone! Thanks to everyone following us so far, I know we’re pretty boring. But my creator thought I should take a second to talk for myself. We’re getting/going along fine, even if things are a little boring haha. She keeps getting distracted, I’m having a hard time getting this all down. We’re working on this proxying stuff and it’s pretty tough so far. Do you know how hard it is to fight through all these thoughts? I should get a medal for this. Anyways, Drake’s still very quiet I think he just likes to keep to himself.

 

He’s very much still around and kicking. Just you have to engage him first, as chances are he won’t chime in as much as Gumi here will.

 

Something like that! Anyways, I’m not sure what else to say so I think this will do for now? Thanks to my host for letting me talk <3

Greetings from our little family! We're the Runes, though our collective name is heavily subject to change later on.

———

Drake // Tulpa

Gumi // Soulbond

 

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2/27/16

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A few days ago I wrestled with a depressive period (I’m not actually diagnosed with depression) and after a couple days of feeling like utter shit, I ended up having a small emotional breakdown. During this period, these two kinda faded from the frontlines, and reappeared in full after I ‘let everything out’.

 

Interestingly enough, they’ve reappeared in full force since then. They’ve both further given me prime examples of sentience, getting me to smile and feel even better after that ordeal. Admittedly, something Gumi said got me to pause and do a double check. It felt so alien and real, almost like a real person had just quipped back at me in conversation. Interesting stuff.

Greetings from our little family! We're the Runes, though our collective name is heavily subject to change later on.

———

Drake // Tulpa

Gumi // Soulbond

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

3/18/16

 

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Whew boy, has it been awhile since we’ve posted here. We’re very much alive and kicking, making leaps and bounds in progress at random intervals.

 

A debriefing is due, I suppose. Drake has found peace within our wonderland, preferring to stay out of outterworld activities for the most part. He’s still in his shell, and I’ve been coaxing him out for some good ol’ social interaction when fit. Just like a concerned parent, I know. I’ve questioned him on his general disinterest in learning things like possession and it seems it stems from some amount of laziness and, well, disinterest. We’ll get there, I suppose. He’s happy as he is and I shouldn’t contest that too much.

 

Gumi on the other hand has excelled in the relatively short time she’s been with us. She actively pursues making friends and acquaintances with anyone that will accept her existence, and is just generally overall enthusiastic about the world around us. We’ve been practicing eclipsing (a type of confronting that we can do—but with difficulty) and she has slowly been making progress on autonomy. Though still requiring some attention on my end, it is considerably less then what was needed merely a month ago. I’ve had at least two instances of her piping up out of nowhere, catching me off guard as her voice sounds through the head.

 

I’m excited on my development! We’ll get there, I know it.

 

I’ve noticed gradual, subtle deviations in her personality as the days go on. This is somewhat interesting to me, given how Soulbonds are known to have difficulty deviating. On the other hand though, she is experiencing new things and people for the first time, learning from her experiences and picking up little quirks from those that she talks to often.

 

It’s quite a sight to watch, honestly.

Greetings from our little family! We're the Runes, though our collective name is heavily subject to change later on.

———

Drake // Tulpa

Gumi // Soulbond

 

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