Guest Anonymous

Is it unhealthy to neglect/forsake human relationships in favor of one with a tulpa?

Recommended Posts

Guest Anonymous

This subject came up yesterday. I wrote an opinion post about how my host and I feel that romantic relationships with your tulpa are fine, but that a human person needs real human romance as well to be happy. That statement, especially how it was written, got a couple of people upset. It was written to be humorous, poking fun at ourselves (my host loves me and is obsessed with me) as well as the community a bit. But it came off as condescending and insulting to a couple of people.

 

Mistgod and I make a distinction between the type of interaction he has with me (as imaginary or a kind of day dreaming) and the interacting he has with other humans as "real life." What we learned yesterday is many tulpamancers put the interactions/relationships they have with their tulpa on the same level, or in the same category, as real world relationships.

 

Anyways, that whole thing got us thinking a lot last night in between bouts of sleeping and dreaming. In our opinion it is emotionally unhealthy for a human person to neglect or forsake or avoid relationships with real human beings in favor of a relationship almost exclusively with a tulpa. That would include all relationships, family, friendships and romantic relationships.

 

We learned from yesterday that this can be a sensitive topic and not everyone agrees with what Mistgod and I believe about the need for real human relationships, especially when it comes to tulpa romance. We were pretty much handed our hat in the exchange. But we would like to hear from others on this beyond the three who responded to that post.

 

Please no one get upset, we are not condemning or criticism individual members for their views. Mistgod and I have to remember each person is different and we cannot over generalize and may not be always right. It just may be that some are totally fulfilled with only tulpa relationships in their lives. That is, in fact, is very fascinating!

 

Is it unhealthy to neglect/forsake human relationships in favor of one with a tulpa? Do you agree or disagree? What are the different opinions of the members on this?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Anonymous

Short answer since I don't have much time:

Of course it is. But to varying degrees...

 

If your tulpa is well-developed and "on par" with any plain ol' human (and you also look at them that way), then it's about as bad as neglecting your social life for the sake of just any one (non-tulpa) person is too.

If your tulpa is not well-developed and not (yet) capable of that kind of social interaction that a plain ol' human is capable of, then it's even worse than the above.

Of course with the added complication of possibly getting uber-lazy and never leaving your house, since your tulpa is always exactly where you are.

 

Simple as that.

 

 

Greets,

AG

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No, I don't think so, atleast in a moderate way.

 

Let me put it like that:

 

I was never a person who needs a lot of people around myself to be happy, it is rather the opposite. I like to stay alone and keep my friends countable. And if it comes to romance, well...I seriously don't need that crap in my life anymore. I rather stay alone or with a tulpa than keeping up with all the troubles of a real relationship. It is simply not worth the effort, in my very honest opinion.

 

On the other hand it is of course unhealthy if you really get rid of every form of human relationship, but that's a pretty extreme case, I don't think lot of people would go down that route.

 

I don't think people need many or complex human relationships to be happy, especially romantic ones are rather optionial. A few good friends and everything is set.


Tulpa: Alice

Form: Realistic Humanoid/Demonic Creation

She may or may not talk here, depends on her.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Anonymous

Of course with the added complication of possibly getting uber-lazy and never leaving your house, since your tulpa is always exactly where you are.

 

Oh that is an interesting angle I hadn't thought of on this! Your tulpa is "always there for you" in a sense and that makes it different in that way from real world relationships. The bond is even closer in some ways isn't it? Could it be easier in some ways from a real world relationship? Could that lead to a host becoming anti-social when it comes to real relationships, or being a shut in or even some agoraphobia?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The main source of contention here is going to be how you define "real" in relation to tulpas, or "real enough".

 

...So, let's just sidestep that debate altogether. ;) The core question is, does anyone even need "real" romantic love to be happy in the first place?

 

Popular culture certainly says so. But popular culture is also quite wrong on a lot of things. This is no exception. There's plenty of happy singles out there, not even going into the topic of aromanticism.

 

So no, it's not unhealthy, no more than it is unhealthy for a non-tulpamancer to not have a romantic relationship with a physical person.

 

Happy Day-Before-Discounted-Chocolates Day, by the way.


aka Falah. With Lark, Steven, Rain, and Noctis.

~Our slightly antiquated tulpamancy blog

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Anonymous

I was never a person who needs a lot of people around myself to be happy, it is rather the opposite. I like to stay alone and keep my friends countable. And if it comes to romance, well...I seriously don't need that crap in my life anymore. I rather stay alone or with a tulpa than keeping up with all the troubles of a real relationship. It is simply not worth the effort, in my very honest opinion.

 

Pretty much proving that Mistgod and I are wrong, at least in your case my buddy.

 

Davie and I are very super romantic/social friends persons (epic blabby babble), but not everyone is like that. For some a smaller circle of relationships is just fine. Also, not everyone puts romantic relationships on the same level of importance as I do (as in all I think about is romantic this and romantic that).

 

On the other hand it is of course unhealthy if you really get rid of every form of human relationship, but that's a pretty extreme case, I don't think lot of people would go down that route.

 

I would agree!

 

I don't think people need many or complex human relationships to be happy, especially romantinc ones are rather optionial. A few good friends and everything is set.

 

Okay.

 

This is a foreign concept to Mistgod and I with our strong emphasis on romantic love. But we can see that this is possible for someone to have this personal world view and it is just as valid. Not everyone is the same.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

If your tulpa is well-developed and "on par" with any plain ol' human (and you also look at them that way), then it's about as bad as neglecting your social life for the sake of just any one (non-tulpa) person is too.

If your tulpa is not well-developed and not (yet) capable of that kind of social interaction that a plain ol' human is capable of, then it's even worse than the above.

 

 

 

 

Yeah, I'm going to second everything that was said here. But to be honest, even non-developed (or at least not completely developed) tulpas can take the place of human interaction. That's what I experienced.

 

Or I just have a sad, sad life.

But that would be a pretty depressed thing to say. I am happy as I am now, and like None stated, I don't need nor want romance in my life.


I'm SomethingDire, and Céleste is my partner in crime.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Anonymous

The main source of contention here is going to be how you define "real" in relation to tulpas, or "real enough".......So, let's just sidestep that debate altogether. ;)

 

Real enough? Yesh, that is partly the confusion Mistgod and I had. In our case, I was not "real enough" for David. He needed to find a girl friend to later become his wife. He was not happy with just me. He was still very lonely. I helped him, and he loves me, but I was not real enough. That is the truth flat out. We are learning that to some, a tulpa is real enough. That is actually very amazing!

 

I don't think I am wanting to "sidestep" that question of real enough in the debate/discussion. I think it is important and part of this thread. I don't think we should be afraid to discuss it. If we go in with the understanding that everyone's views are valid and right for them. We just have to be careful about generalizing for others.

 

The core question is, does anyone even need "real" romantic love to be happy in the first place?

 

Popular culture certainly says so. But popular culture is also quite wrong on a lot of things. This is no exception. There's plenty of happy singles out there, not even going into the topic of aromanticism.

 

So no, it's not unhealthy, no more than it is unhealthy for a non-tulpamancer to not have a romantic relationship with a physical person.

 

That is the second part of this discussion isn't it? I guess it is possible for someone to not need real romantic love I guess.

 

Happy Day-Before-Discounted-Chocolates Day, by the way.

 

CHOCOLATE! Yummy yum!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know I already addressed this topic in another thread, but I feel like I have some stuff to add.

 

When you look at certain things... any type of things... you don't look at how it's like for other people, you look at how it affects the person who's subject to that thing on a personal level. You're the only person who can see, hear and talk to your tulpa in your mind (let's diss out proxying and the other practices for a sec). The whole judgement that a relationship that only really applies to tulpas and neglects other people is extremely subjective. Not wrong in entirety, hell, no opinion is 'wrong', but the actual argument against tulparomance is lacking because it fails to address many things. There's this movie called Lars and the real girl:

 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0805564/

 

In this comedy' date=' Lars Lindstrom is an awkwardly shy young man in a small northern town who finally brings home the girl of his dreams to his brother and sister-in-law's home. The only problem is that she's not real - she's a sex doll Lars ordered off the Internet. But sex is not what Lars has in mind, but rather a deep, meaningful relationship. His sister-in-law is worried for him, his brother thinks he's nuts, but eventually the entire town goes along with his delusion in support of this sweet natured boy that they've always loved.[/quote']

 

The people in the movie don't go out of their way to 'shake him out of it' or try to get him out of what makes him happy. People need to understand the complexity of the human mind, how it can block out a lot of things and never reach true happiness without superficiality except in very exceptional cases. I think that a lot of what you said is both supplemented by your own personal experience that is limited in terms of 'tulparomance' and the fact you have a natural bias against it from the beginning of all of it.

 

Say, what if I dislike people? What if your average teenager dislikes people, makes a tulpa one day, and they fall in love with each other. That is completely plausible. Let's say this kid doesn't have any friends and cannot socialize well if at all, and by 'well if at all', let's say he absolutely can't fit in well. (do you understand how troubled some people can be...?). Alright, so, this kid is now happy, right? Delusion or not, happiness or not, he's happy, he's (supposedly) in love. The main argument, at least, what it comes off to be, is that humans are completely different from tulpas. You also tend to forget how shitty some people can be and how a LOT of couples end up in a divorce. This is not a reason to favor tulparomance, not at all, but it's a reason not to discourage it IF it is in place. Because, to those people, it makes no sense to just drop it.

 

It's like you have a diehard brony MLP fan. He loves the show. It makes him happy. Not on a romantic level, but MLP is his world. And let's say he CAN'T socialize well in the first place. The generation your host lived in differs from the one right now... a lot of people have a lot of trouble even talking to people and looking at them IN THE EYES. You can't just tell this kid that he needs to drop off MLP and go outside, that's not how things work. Of course, I am not comparing tulparomance to fandom like that, that was an example to demonstrate how you can't just tell someone 'no'.

 

Plus, you're treating this as if it's a black and white thing. What if I have tulparomance stuff, but I still socialize with people and talk to my family? Why was this addressed in such a black and white point of view in the first place? There can be a middle ground for those things if you're willing to see it.

 

Last but not least, you're also implying that a tulparomance type of love cannot rival 'human' love. You seem to misunderstand the concept of reciprocated love, when two people share a bond and are sympathetic while having affection for each other, they go along well, and things can go up from there. It doesn't have to be romance, they can be friends... same thing with tulpas.... people don't plan for what their tulpas are to say, they TALK to them as they'd talk to real people.


A wise man once said: 'Before judging a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away, and you've got new shoes.'

 

Graced are those who could avoid this phenomenon. This is perhaps the worst expression of evil in humanity's history, but who am I to judge?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Anonymous

I am happy as I am now, and like None stated, I don't need nor want romance in my life.

 

Okay. Well that is more than one member who feels that way. Huh. I have to just accept that is possible then.

 

What about light flirtatious banter with Melian? I flirt with everyone, boys and girls, even pony tulpas too. LOL I am an equal opportunity flirt. Can't remember is I ever sent any e-huggies and kiss-the-cheeks in your direction yet, but it is inevitable as I can't help myself sometimes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.