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Thanks guys. Your help has been inspiring.

 

/sarcasm

 

I did have one person in the IRC try to help. Sorry, whoever that is. I can't quite remember your name, but you did help. Basically, whoever it was advised me that I may have been stuck in a creative rut; that I should try something new. Did that, and what do you know! It worked! I tried forcing with some background light (before I'd darken the room so that there was almost no light), left some music on, and perhaps most importantly, sat in a chair instead of lying in bed. It worked, and I could focus much better than before. I think what was happening was that I was falling asleep while forcing, or just starting to. You know how when you're falling asleep all sorts of completely random thoughts start popping in your head? I guess that was what was killing my focus.

 

So, the result was my first good session in days. I focused on envisioning Pez and succeeded. Then I thought of the beach, and I could put myself there as well. The house was different. About the same size, but much more yellow. There was a porch facing the water now, too. Probably more inside, but we stayed out so I'm not sure. Pez didn't talk much. I guess after so long of accidentally ignoring her, I really backslid on being able to listen to her.

 

I was really disturbed when I was apologizing to her, and I said something along the lines of, "Well, at least it's peaceful here," and she shook her head vigorously. Apparently, I've been subconsciously trolling the fuck out of her during this time with thoughts like, "Well, maybe she's not real" and shit like that. Also, she said that doubting myself was hurting the process. Common doubts, millions of threads about them, but whatever, they were there. Obviously, I was deeply concerned about all this, so I asked Pez if she could manipulate my thought stream. She said yes, so I gave her permission to "kill" any thought she found threatening.

Hopefully, that will stop all that.

 

Those are the big points. I'll be able to get back to real forcing now and vocalization. The sensation of my ear "twitching" is still present, so that's a good sign. Now it sometimes tingles, too. Wish me luck!

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I actually thought about advising to change things up while at work today, one of those things where you don't think of a good idea until 24 hours later, then I forgot to post it...then I forgot who it was meant for...

 

But I guess you figured it out. Anyway, good luck.

 

btw, some of the stuff in here has helped me out, so thanks for that.

Tulpa's name: April

Form: Human female

Working on: Stuff

My Progress Log

 

"A belief is not merely an idea the mind possesses; it is an idea that possesses the mind." ~ Robert Oxton Bolton

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btw, some of the stuff in here has helped me out, so thanks for that.

 

Me helping? Preposterous! That's way too out of character for me. I blame a variety of minorities and immigrants for this transgression!

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