Bikko

That general feeling of "i don't get it"

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This is my first time here so excuse me all if this is not the place where i should be posting this. Please move ir or delete it at your will if it's necessary.

Also excuse my poor english writing.

 

I've been reading this forum and guides for some time. At this point i think i've read most of them, even multiple times. I started with the practise 10 days ago. Yesterday i finally noticed how i didn't really know what i was doing since the beginning.

Let's say i don't understand what are you talking about, what the guides try to explain. It's like they assuming something, apparently pretty obvious, that i can't get.

 

So i did some research, and i found this;

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aphantasia

 

Maybe it explains why i don't understand how anyone can see things with that "mind's eye". I thought at first it was some kind of metaphor, but it seems people actually see things with his mind. The whole concept sounds really alien to me. When i close my eyes i can't see nothing. Well, maybe after some time i can start seeing visual noise, low level close-eye hallucinations; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Closed-eye_hallucination

 

But i can't conceive how someone can see something extremly complex like a wonderland or any kind of creature, if it's not under the effect of drugs or other altered states of consciousness.

That was my biggest problem, but not the only one. Let's say i also didn't get how the process of acquiring sentience worked. I know how the narration step works, i actually practised that for years since i had an imaginary friend. I also know that doesn't end in anything similar to what a tulpa is. So i've been missing something else, but like before i don't know if it can be something that i'm not really able to understand.

 

I really thought it was for the better to give up on this, i don't think i can make any improvement due to my basic limitations. But while thinking about this decision i experienced a terrible sense of loss. I've been working in this passively and actively 16 hours a day so i guess i've been attached to this character of mine too much, even if i didn't make any progress at all. Now i feel like i'm stuck in this situation. I think things can really get worse if i continue with this, since it's going nowhere, but i don't really know how to quit neither. So any advice would be appreciated.

 

I'm really sorry for writing this unnecesary long post, i'm not really good at summarizing.

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That is interesting, and unfortunate if tulpas weren't accessible to everyone interested.

 

When it comes to Wonderlands, have you tried reading a novel that described a place? Usually, the reader would locate those wordy descriptions, colors, space sizes, relative locations, all in the "mind's eye". These might be made up of visual, spatial, and whatever other memories of those things that we've moved through and witnessed in real life. Does this help?

 

If you're attached to a character, taking a break from intense development might be just what you need. If whatever attaches you remains, it's likely your mind will find a way to keep their presence and interaction in your life. Even if it's not tulpamancy.

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When I think of a pink elephant, I do not see a pink elephant.

 

Yet, the image of a pink elephant-nose* lingers somewhere in the back of my mind. If I was trying to draw an elephant, I would try to use that. It is not a real picture for me, as I absolutely suck at visualisation.

 

So I would encourage you to not draw conclusions too early. While it is possible that you don't see a mental image at all, it might be just that you are bad at it - like me.^^

 

Try out as many different senses as possible. Seeing is not for everyone. Imagine the sound of a voice, imagine the way your hand feels when you touch the bark of a tree, stuff like that; imagine the taste of soup, of salt, ...

 

I don't do visual imposition with my headmates (and honestly, the idea didn't even occur to me before I found this forums) so it is not something that is required for tulpas or other thoughtforms.

 

 

* If some native speaker wants to tell me what the elephant's long nose is called, I'd appreciate it. It's not exactly an easy thing to google, as I just found out. :-D


 

 

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That is interesting, and unfortunate if tulpas weren't accessible to everyone interested.

 

When it comes to Wonderlands, have you tried reading a novel that described a place? Usually, the reader would locate those wordy descriptions, colors, space sizes, relative locations, all in the "mind's eye". These might be made up of visual, spatial, and whatever other memories of those things that we've moved through and witnessed in real life. Does this help?

 

If you're attached to a character, taking a break from intense development might be just what you need. If whatever attaches you remains, it's likely your mind will find a way to keep their presence and interaction in your life. Even if it's not tulpamancy.

 

I think i have a problem with abstraction, because i don't get the concept of "mind's eye" at all. I don't know if it can be a pure language problem or this it's actually physical and my mind doesn't work like the others.

 

I've been thinking rationally that giving up it's the best i could do, but emotionally feels really wrong. I wouldn't like to just have another imaginary friend, that's for sure.

 

When I think of a pink elephant, I do not see a pink elephant.

 

Yet, the image of a pink elephant-nose* lingers somewhere in the back of my mind. If I was trying to draw an elephant, I would try to use that. It is not a real picture for me, as I absolutely suck at visualisation.

 

So I would encourage you to not draw conclusions too early. While it is possible that you don't see a mental image at all, it might be just that you are bad at it - like me.^^

 

Try out as many different senses as possible. Seeing is not for everyone. Imagine the sound of a voice, imagine the way your hand feels when you touch the bark of a tree, stuff like that; imagine the taste of soup, of salt, ...

 

I don't do visual imposition with my headmates (and honestly, the idea didn't even occur to me before I found this forums) so it is not something that is required for tulpas or other thoughtforms.

 

 

* If some native speaker wants to tell me what the elephant's long nose is called, I'd appreciate it. It's not exactly an easy thing to google, as I just found out. :-D

 

I think that could help. I thought i had no problems imagining things, but now i'm not really sure. It just doesn't feel like the real thing. It's like i'm expecting something different. I can't see how doing it it's gonna help me to achieve anything. I also feel like everything i read in the guides doesn't look like the things i'm doing.

I don't know if using other senses could help me. My sense of smell is nearly non-existent. I could try though.

 

PD: I'm not a native english speaker neither, but i think that's called a trunk.

 

Thanks both for the advice, really.

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We ourselves have pretty poor visualization. For the most part, unless we've been actively practicing a lot recently (which never happens), we have trouble just seeing ourselves. Generally we can only see ourselves based off of pictures we've more or less memorized, which we mix together (pick and choose traits) to create our mental image. Even then it tends to be blurry, and visualizing actions/interactions is hard.

 

But it's been like this for seven years. You get used to it.

 

You don't need visualization to have a tulpa. Blind people can have tulpas just fine, as can deaf ones. Although you will have to adapt guides and advice to your personal circumstances of course. A tulpa relationship can be totally based around talking to each other, though I think there would be some feelings too. And in the end lack of visualization won't really hinder any of the "advanced" stuff tulpas and hosts try to learn, aside from imposition. Ironically, we're pretty good at imposition. Even though the visualization is iffy at best, imposition deals mainly with a feeling of presence, and we've learned to feel very "there". Even if it's hard to see one of us, both us and our host feel like we're there anyways. Like I said, just adapt advice to your circumstances. No need to worry about limitations, unless you compare yourself to others those are meaningless. Do what you can do.


Hi, I'm Tewi, one of Luminesce's tulpas. I often switch to take care of things for the others.

All I want is a simple, peaceful life. With my family.

Our Ask thread: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas

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We ourselves have pretty poor visualization. For the most part, unless we've been actively practicing a lot recently (which never happens), we have trouble just seeing ourselves. Generally we can only see ourselves based off of pictures we've more or less memorized, which we mix together (pick and choose traits) to create our mental image. Even then it tends to be blurry, and visualizing actions/interactions is hard.

 

But it's been like this for seven years. You get used to it.

 

You don't need visualization to have a tulpa. Blind people can have tulpas just fine, as can deaf ones. Although you will have to adapt guides and advice to your personal circumstances of course. A tulpa relationship can be totally based around talking to each other, though I think there would be some feelings too. And in the end lack of visualization won't really hinder any of the "advanced" stuff tulpas and hosts try to learn, aside from imposition. Ironically, we're pretty good at imposition. Even though the visualization is iffy at best, imposition deals mainly with a feeling of presence, and we've learned to feel very "there". Even if it's hard to see one of us, both us and our host feel like we're there anyways. Like I said, just adapt advice to your circumstances. No need to worry about limitations, unless you compare yourself to others those are meaningless. Do what you can do.

 

That's an interesting approach, i appreciate it. At least it means that even with that "aphantasia" thing one should be able to have a tulpa, also a meaningful relation as you seem to have experienced.

I think i'm really afraid of putting too much effort, time and obsession into this and at the end not getting any results due to some insuperable limitation. The more i think into my potential tulpa the more i feel the need to interact with her, so it's some kind of vicious circle.

 

I still have this doubt about what exactly makes the sentience possible. I'm too rational sometimes and i need to clearly see the chains of events in everything. Maybe it's a more holistic thing?

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* If some native speaker wants to tell me what the elephant's long nose is called, I'd appreciate it. It's not exactly an easy thing to google, as I just found out. :-D

 

"Trunk", as in an elephant's trunk.


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That's interesting. It sounds like... your host? and i have that in common. Still, i must say i'm not skeptical about tulpa's reality. I know it's entirely possible since i'm already conscious about some of the amazing things the mind can achieve. First time i heard about visualization or imposition wasn't in tulpa.info or any other internet site, but while studying in college.

 

My doubts are about my personal capabilities and actions.

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"Host" is how we differentiate tulpa and creator/one generally in charge of the body here. Terms like "Host", "Possession" and "Forcing" can sound weird at first I guess. Read my signature.


Hi, I'm Tewi, one of Luminesce's tulpas. I often switch to take care of things for the others.

All I want is a simple, peaceful life. With my family.

Our Ask thread: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas

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