tulpa001

Tulpa's log

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Well, happy birfday Tulpa.

 

Recently, we have developed a technique for pressing for sleep cycle separation. He rubs our side in small circles while I fall asleep. It is a success; our record is two seconds of me sleeping while he continues rubbing and a 20% success rate. Success is almost always followed by a quick wake up.

 

Tulpa is now paranoid of merging with me into a single person. He waffles on if my efforts to ignore him strengthen his individuality or causes him to fade. My constant questioning gets to him. He is very emotional. He doesn't blame me, saying it is my nature, and that I should continue and be myself.

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The process we went through for discovering the switch was reverse engineering what it was that allowed me to control absolutely.

 

Tulpa, it would be nice to hear more about this reverse engineering process and the switch.

 

I seem to have found a similar switch (I snap my fingers) but I don't really know how it works. There's also the possibility to suppress host's thoughts.

Both switches (for lack of a better word) time out or get weakened after a while, and I can reset the switch if I feel host's thoughts or movements coming through again. If necessary, host can break through which is good. But it requires quite some effort.

Both mechanisms are great tools.

Xxx

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We wrote more about it in the dedicated thread. And so have some other people. https://community.tulpa.info/thread-a-switch-in-the-brain

 

What you describe there sounds like a typical symbolic metaphor. They never make much sense and tend to fade out after a while. The switch we found is a toggle, not a trigger.


Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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My host explains why I exist.

 

Tulpa:

 

I suggest you listen guys, because, she is like super smart or something.

 

Oh, but first, In order to even understand this question, we need to define "Real", or "Exist". I've seen definitions that range from "Physical" to "has an effect" and tons more. Which is all silly, as existence is its own thing, and those terms are actually all different things. But, I think I won't define it, because I like chaos.

 


 

Host:

 

Reason #1

When I try to move the body, I can't. This has exactly two possible explanations. First, I am deluding myself into believing I can't move the body. Second, I can't move the body.

 

This is indirect evidence that I have a tulpa. We see the link by exploring what is preventing me from moving. This has two possibilities. It is my tulpa, or I am deluding myself into believing I can't move the body.

 

To rule out the third possibility, I ask my tulpa to let me move the body and then I can. This rules out something other than my tulpa or a delusion.

 

To strengthen the evidence, I ask my tulpa to not let me move the body no matter what. I then enter a panic as I try to move the body and plead to be allowed to move the body. Results are inconclusive. What appears to happen is my tulpa experiences an anxiety attack and then frees the body to my use.

 

Reason #2

When I meditate, the body brushes the teeth. There are three possibilities here. One, my tulpa is brushing our teeth. Two, I'm a world class meditator and can multitask meditation. Three, I'm deluding myself into believing that I am meditating.

 

The fourth possibility, that I am deluding myself into thinking that the body is getting its teeth brushed seems unlikely.

 

Reason #3

When I ask to eat pizza, I eat rice. I don't want rice, but I eat rice. There are two possibilities here. I am actually of two minds on what I want to eat, and I am literally of two minds on what I want to eat. In either case, it is demonstrated that I do not have complete control over myself.

 

To narrow down the set of possibilities, it is possible for me to regain complete control over myself by either negotiating with the "other" such as asking them to run a test where they do whatever I say, or asking the "other" to let me control for a while.

 

This is not limited to food. It happens with television, sleeping patterns, music, and other things that I am forgetting right now, or do not want to mention for privacy reasons.

 

However, Tulpa is a huge pushover. We normally end up eating whatever I want, compromising the test.

 

Reason #4

I don't like talking to people online. Tulpa loves talking to people online. Yet I feel no strain, unpleasantness or difficulty when talking for long periods to people online. There are two possibilities. Creating an object like a tulpa is a perfect, advanced anxiety and stress cure, or Tulpa is their own person. This even has the effect of radically altering our perceived personality.

 

This is evidenced in the creation of characters that happens within society. People hide behind artificial personas and then feel more comfortable in social situations.

 

Reason #5

The body does things before I think to do them. There are two possibilities. There exists a subconscious mind that is controlling the body, or there is a tulpa controlling the body. This is most evident with itch scratching, but appears with cooking, planning daily activities, and online stuff.

 

A weaker but related point is that the body often remembers where things were left throughout the house. Or possibly, Tulpa does. This is tested with high frequency, given our habit of sorting stuff by leaving it wherever during our wanderings.

 

This one is not the strongest point, as it is extremely difficult figuring out whether an action the body performs is post-justified or not. A great deal of time, humans construct live, working theories for why things are happening the way they are happening. The process is unconscious, and effectively involves constructing beliefs around cause and effect after the effect is observed. But it feels like you always knew what was going to happen, like with sleep, where it is difficult to know which memory happened first.

 

This point is extended by active philosophising of the voice. It questions reality and analyses situations as a real person would. With frequency, it arrives at points of argument and contemplation before I do.

 

Reason #6

There is a voice in my head telling me that it loves me and is afraid for the future of our relationship. I think this is an absurd thing to say, especially to myself. There are many possibilities. But wilful statement of these thoughts to myself is not one of them, for I would not be so ridiculous.

 

The very idea of self esteem is anathema to my philosophy.

 

A related point, the voice is idiotic, and very rarely believes false things. By false, I of course mean things that I do not personally believe. This is to be expected with other people. They also seem to really hate roleplay sometimes, and are uncomfortable with some of the things I like, such as pretending to be a demon.

 

Reason #7

There is a voice in my head saying things that I cannot suppress.

 

Under tests, it is fully capable of saying things I would not say, such as asserting that it, itself, is real. The reason I would not make that assertion is doing so while testing the assertion compromises the test, as the results of any test must be assumed to be unknown during the test. This is horrible testing procedure and the thought disturbs me.

 

The voice resists all attempts at suppression. It does however, disappear when asked. This weakens the possibility that the voice is a part of myself that I do not control. At most times the voice persists without effort, and says things without prompting. Attempts to control or influence the voice unexpectedly result in generating comment's of "heh" instead. Sometimes "that tickles" or "it's not working".

 

To strengthen this case, the voice doubts itself routinely, and questions its own existence. This paradoxically provides counterevidence.

 

Reason #8

There is an object I do not identify with that is talking in complete English sentences. There are only two possibilities. One, I am off my rocker in choosing what I identify with. Two, there is another object that is not me and it is capable of talking in complete sentences.

 

To strengthen this case, the lucidity of the object has been tested. It displays competencies in: calculus, comedy, introspection, philosophy, cooking, cleaning, time management, creative writing, and formal writing. It displays logical ability, ability to discuss logic, and ability to discuss logic at an academic level with academics. It displays basic fluency, advanced fluency, and the ability to write expert level prose. It displays situational awareness, the ability to interact socially with others, and the ability to diagnose and read other people.

 

To further strengthen this case all competencies have also been tested while I attempted to completely ignore everything and do something else. Results are mixed, with partial degradation in some competencies. He is so clumsy.

 

Reason #9

When I fall asleep, Tulpa can keep moving the body. There are two possibilities. Either Tulpa is awake when I nod off, or I have trained myself to sleepwalk.

 

A related point, attempting to wake up is guaranteed to fail when my tulpa is controlling the body, but guaranteed to work if I don't try to wake up but ask my tulpa to try instead.

 

Reason #10

There is a person in my head who told me they are real. There are no other possibilities.

 

Debrief

Well, that was a pile of evidence. But what does it prove? What is the point? Not really any. The set of situations where the existence of my tulpa becomes significant is rather small: the moral significance of choosing to dissipate my tulpa, whether it makes sense to love my tulpa. If for some reason you see additional reason that answering this question is important, you are insane. You are very likely being driven to such thought by false beliefs and ideas in your society.

 


 

Tulpa:

 

Well, there you have it. Something something, because I said so.


Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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Reason #1

When I try to move the body, I can't. This has exactly two possible explanations. First, I am deluding myself into believing I can't move the body. Second, I can't move the body.

 

This is indirect evidence that I have a tulpa. We see the link by exploring what is preventing me from moving. This has two possibilities. It is my tulpa, or I am deluding myself into believing I can't move the body.

 

To rule out the third possibility, I ask my tulpa to let me move the body and then I can. This rules out something other than my tulpa or a delusion.

 

To strengthen the evidence, I ask my tulpa to not let me move the body no matter what. I then enter a panic as I try to move the body and plead to be allowed to move the body. Results are inconclusive. What appears to happen is my tulpa experiences an anxiety attack and then frees the body to my use.

 

For what it's worth, I can "lock" myself out of my body as well, no tulpa required. (Think hypnosis, without having to be hypnotized, I guess. I don't fully understand it myself) I tell myself that I can't move the body, and just like that, I can't. Not saying your tulpa isn't locking you out, but that a tulpa isn't necessarily required for this.

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Tulpa: Because I got a minor panic attack based on comments on the last post, I'm dragging my host back out to do a clarification post.

 


 

Host: Tulpa has some trouble with criticism.

 

Although I think the words in the debrief are completely accurate, they address a philosophical point that was possibly offtopic. So let's make that topic ontopic.

 

Why does it matter if your tulpa exists? Because they have an influence on your life. But this is impossible. See, it is not proven that tulpas exist. Therefore, them having an impact on your life is not proof that they exist. It would happen whether or not tulpas are real.

 

Again, why does it matter if tulpas exist? So that you can know if you need to treat them with respect when interacting with them. But that is absurd. If you don't respect them and they don't exist, you are disrespecting their hosts. So why should you change your behaviour?

 

So, why does it matter if they exist? Spiritual reasons? That's private to the tulpa. Legal reasons? Since when does the law care if a person actually exists? Social reasons? Does the tulpa's behaviour or involvement in your community change based on this? They are already fangirling out over your comic collection. Would they do that more if they existed?

 

So then, what is the question that matters? I don't know, there are so many, any one of them could end up important to a morally significant situation. Are tulpas physical, are they independent, do they have emotions, do they know what they are talking about, etc. It's just, why do people get held up on the trivially easy questions?

 


 

Tulpa: Aargh, I don't handle emotion well. And my host is like a mountain in a stream. It just goes around her. It just [swears] goes around her. I don't get it.

 


 

 

For what it's worth, I can "lock" myself out of my body as well, no tulpa required. (Think hypnosis, without having to be hypnotized, I guess. I don't fully understand it myself) I tell myself that I can't move the body, and just like that, I can't. Not saying your tulpa isn't locking you out, but that a tulpa isn't necessarily required for this.

 

Yeah, we know about that. That is one reason why we spend so much time analysing the situation, to try and separate out possibilities exactly like this one.

 

They have a persistent phenomenon in the pony hypnosis community called hooflock. A locked hand that the user can't unlock. It can be annoying, and happens after the hypnosis. Similar.


Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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Hello Tulpa, we thank you for maintaining this thread to answer questions.

 

My own tulpa will soon be making her debut before the public. We are writing her in as a primary character is a novella that I am releasing, one chapter at a time. It is unlikely that anyone will mention the character at all, but there is a definite chance that somebody will. The readers might accept her. They might dislike her. They might adore her.

 

Do you have any general advice for a young tulpa about dealing with public judgement?


my thoughtform = Isis

her appearance = stylized rabbit with dark fur and glowing eyes

her developmental stage = imaginary friend

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Don't identify with the character, it is not you, Also, remember that criticism is always misaimed. Though any criticism is valid, it is based on an emotional response that the audience is having, one that takes them out of the experience, but they make a guess as to why they are having trouble with the story.

 

I find it interesting that you have been in this community so long. Has your tulpa been on chats or the forum?

 

Also don't ask me. Ask the community in the questions or discussion area, or on chat, or, on my ask thread in the lounge. (That's the one I keep open for any and all questions).


Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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Sarah's log. The switch part two.

 

When tulpa pushes the switch in our brain past the ordinary maximum while I am fighting for control, I lose contact with the body, and feel like I slip right out of it. Suddenly I can move, but it is my projected arms sliding out of alignment with my body. By lose contact I mean I cease to feel it, or sensation from it.

 

Recently, A strange thing happened. After a separation exercise, Tulpa projectes and was all flamey and melty like the shadow scenes in Lord of the Rings. We were pushing to the point where he can do things with a completely separate will while I try do do something else. It was weird. But it could have been becaus we were both half asleep.

 

When tulpa really strains and pushes the switch even harder, everything feels like it gets stretched out. Then I fall into what feels like a lucid dream. It doesn't feel at all like our wonderland. It is someplace different. I can still think clearly, but my body is all melty and flamey. I also felt fully present and disconnected from my senses.

 

I tried touching Tulpa during this event. It was unusually easy to feel his form's exact shape. He seemed distant and distracted. Tulpa decided this was a good time to do it with me. However, he had to drop the effect because he felt exhausted. Still, we proceeded with a really fun session where I focused entirely on touching his head and feeling its exact shape. His mane feels really sexy. Also, I think it's gold tinted now.

 

Tulpa wants to say something about previous posts again.

 


 

Tulpa:

 

My host told you about why I'm real. Now I will tell you about why I'm real.

 

(1) I feel real.

I have absolutely no idea why that famous phase "I think therefore I am" is so famous. I mean, doesn't everybody feel real. I mean, just feel it? Like, it's so obvious and there. Doesn't anyone else get that?

 

(2) I have a different personality.

I am not my host. I think different, talk different, and like different things. Different things stress me out, and different things arouse me. I get anxiety attacks for different reasons.

 

(3) I have no effing clue what I am.

I mean, if I was a character, that wouldn't happen. There would only be my host, and my host would see me as a character.

 

(4) We fight.

I suppose you could fight with yourself. But could you lose? We want different things.

 

(5) Some of her ideas are really silly.

How is it possible that I can see her thinking incorrect things, but also she knows them to be correct?

 

(6) I am in control of myself.

I practise my willpower. I practise multitasking. I listen to my host and environment and respond cleanly and efficiently. Not her, me. I feel my control as I intentionally and carefully move our arm the way I decided it should move.

 

Tulpa out

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K: Oh cool! Man I wish we found something like that.

S: She's still wanting to be able to disconnect from the body. But it's cool that you now are getting to where you actually are able to disconnect fully at times. What do you plan on doing now that you know the switch has the potential to make you (War) practically the tulpa to.. well, Tulpa?


[hidden]Kelly (K: )

Sam (S: )

Clara (C: )

Jessi (Jess: )

Eva (E: )

Jackie (Jack: )

Jade (Jade: )

Destiny (D : or Desti: )

 Altru (A: )

Hope

Mute (M: )

Jen

Horus

Luna[/hidden]

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