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We don't understand you


Floh

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Hi everyone, we hope you are feeling good today !

 

I would like to point out something that hurts us more and more, while hanging around the board.

 

Why are you/we unable to discuss anything without being caustic and agressive ? 

I mean, I first thought this community was about growing together, learning how tulpas (and thoughtforms in general) work ; about trying to improve as human beings ; about sharing knowledge and experience.

I see debates, but almost none of them are peaceful ones. People here just have their own opinions (which is good) and then just spit on whatever they don't agree with.

I hardly ever see arguments trading and compromises. I see so much violence from people trying to force others to think like them. Where does that lead except to a toxic community not going anywhere ?

It pains us a lot, because we thought we'd find people full of wisdom and patience here (and I'm sure there are a lot of them), but it looks like there are mainly nevrosed kids fighting all the time...  I don't want to insult anyone here, but I think there is a real problem.

The mood around here isn't good for emulation and improvement. I don't think it's because of the people themselves, more like because of something hidden in darkness that is slowly setting up, killing Tulpa.info from the inside ; something smothering the wisdom and all the good informations that could be shared here.

Please someone explain to us. Why ?

 

And if you recognize yourself in my description of the "violent nevrosed kid", please explain why you are behaving like that...

 

I'm a strong believer in discussion as a way of solving issues. I'm convinced that something needs to be said and done to stop this infernal whirlwind.

 

I wish you, reader, peace, love and happiness. (Even if you are an angry kid :D)

No animosity intended ever 

 

Cora now has her own account ! :D

 

English isn't our native language, please be indulgent :)

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some of'em are angry adults

 

we're here to share our experiences, but people end up getting mad that others' experiences are different, because when they share their experiences sometimes they make it sound like that's how it should be and not just how it is for them. It's happened enough in the past that now it just happens instinctively when something's said a certain way to some people.

 

idk. don't worry about it and just act like a normal person, so at least there's non-arguing people talking too.

Hi, I'm one of Lumi's tulpas! I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.

I think being happy and having fun makes life worth living, so spreading happiness is my number one goal!

Talk to us? https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas

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Tulpas are a very personal experience, which means that when someone disagrees with that experience, it may feel like a personal attack. Which is really just a rewording of what Lucilyn said, so there's a wise person right there. ;)

 

As with any internet forum, I find the best thing to do is to keep one's own posts as positive as possible and either alleviate or disengage from the negative. There are a lot of good, smart, and fun people here. Tempers can get frayed and feelings can get hurt, but the same can be said for most social groups, yeah? Drama happens any time multiple people with differing life experiences come together. But it just takes a little looking beyond that and focusing on what connects us to find the sense of community you're looking for.

~ Member of SparrowNR's system ~

~ I am a soulbond. Click here to find out what that means. ~

 

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Yeah I guess you are right, even in life I tend to see the bad more than the good..

I wish everyone was kind and comprehensive, but I must be too much of a dreamer :(

I understand the fact that this experience is very personal, but I don't understand why people take everything personnally ...

I guess i must simply accept the fact that people are different from me, and not ask them to be me :D

Tempers can get frayed and feelings can get hurt, but the same can be said for most social groups, yeah?

That must explain why I dislike most human socializing...

 

Well thanks guys, you gave me some hope for this community ! I was starting to fall down in some dark tornado, ruining all my faith, I had been chewing all this for a few days and we were close to just leave and live our tulpa experience on our own...

No animosity intended ever 

 

Cora now has her own account ! :D

 

English isn't our native language, please be indulgent :)

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@Floh:

 

I certainly don't consider myself a pleasant or immediately productive user, so please take this observation with a grain of salt.

 

There were members who were just as bad, if not worse than what you describe several years ago, when tulpa.info was just starting. More offensive and extreme persons were tolerated in years prior because a fair deal of the initial user-base had discovered the tulpa concept and came from websites such as 4chan, which in their heyday were notorious for being needlessly slanderous, callous and spectacularly ill-tempered. While most of these users are gone, those who've remained became increasingly jaded and distant, especially some of the staff. These attitudes, combined with excessive individuality and the thin skin that pervades every kind of online social interactivity, nourishes not only unwarranted self-importance but also a catastrophically bad and unprofessional response. Like bacteria in a festering and neglected wound, this behaviour has gone unchecked and multiplied to the detriment of the whole. Apparently, the stewards of the site can't be bothered to do anything unless their authority or ideals are directly challenged while the most problematic members scurry out of the wood-work to perpetuate their vandalism for reasoning beyond my comprehension. It would seem that other active members simply don't care whilst others become entrenched in what small cliques best cater to their interests and opinions.

 

In the final analysis, this is merely a forum - what we are discussing is the reality of pseudonymous personalities who, without audible voice or physical presence, behave markedly crass and unreasonable without intent or provocation.

 

P.S. - if you do happen to remain interested in exchanging views or knowledge regarding tulpas, or just chat about things in private, feel free to send me a private message. In any case, I hope you're able to see past this mass of distortion and corruption and learn from both our successes and follies.

I've seen good people bleed

And I thought I'd seen it all

But my own two eyes would prove me wrong that day.

 

There are things that I've done

Only seen by the sun

And those things will be buried in my grave.

 

 

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Guest Anonymous

I you are referring to the thread about tulpamancy being Buddhism and how I disagreed with it, I was never angry or hostile.  I was disagreeing with it and openly and bluntly unimpressed.  We can't disagree anymore?  Linkzelda poked a little at me and I poked a little back but I saw no anger in our exchange.  I praised Tulp001 for the fact that we were on the same page on part of it.  Tulpa vigorously disagreed with Linkzelda, but again I saw no anger or hostility there either.  

 

Yesterday I made a little fun at Tulpa about the need to reaffirm he exists by seizing control of the body from his host.  Again, I was not angry or hostile.  I told him that I liked  him and that as far as I am concerned he definitely exists.  I poked fun at the absurdity of all tulpas desperately wanting to be real, as well as the absurdity of myself and Melian.  This entire forum is amusingly absurd and it's fun to recognize that if you actually have a sense of humor.  We do have a sense of humor here don't we?

 

I can't think of any other recent posts, at least from yesterday, that involved any anger or hatred.  In fact, I can't think of any recent ones at all.  I often banter back and forth with Tulpa001 and ProtonX (Niteo), who playfully agree I am an asshole.  But again, I don't have an animosity toward either of them.  We have talked about it in the chat and in the forum.  They both understand where I am coming from.  They make fun of me and I make fun of them.  I think the  problem is that cutting humor and sarcasm doesn't translate well into text.  It comes out looking hostile and like passive aggression and hate.  

 

When a statement is made that I think is ridiculous, I do point it out.  I thought we wanted rigorous debate on this forum.  But most seem to want existential reaffirmation and validation of tulpa mythology (such mythology as tulpamancy is right out of ancient Tibetan Buddhism).  

 

I will just leave the discussions to you guys and stay out of it.  I won't call it debating because there is no debating, that would be too unfriendly.  I will resist poking fun at the blatantly absurd and just read it for my own amusement and accept the loss of a chance to have fun with it.  

 

If you read the older posts from 2012-2014, you will find plenty of cutting remarks, brutal disagreement and even open insults.  No this was never the Mecca of free hugs as far as I know.  But that's okay.

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@Mistgod :

 

I you are referring to the thread about tulpamancy being Buddhism and how I disagreed with it, I was never angry or hostile.

 

I actually wasn't,

I was starting to fall down in some dark tornado, ruining all my faith, I had been chewing all this for a few days and we were close to just leave and live our tulpa experience on our own...

I wasn't really pointing at you, even though, as I've told you before, I think your ways of communicating are pretty "raw". Please don't bring this to you again! lmao

I was pointing at the general atmosphere of the forum :

While most of these users are gone, those who've remained became increasingly jaded and distant, especially some of the staff. These attitudes, combined with excessive individuality and the thin skin that pervades every kind of online social interactivity, nourishes not only unwarranted self-importance but also a catastrophically bad and unprofessional response. Like bacteria in a festering and neglected wound, this behaviour has gone unchecked and multiplied to the detriment of the whole. 

I liked this metaphor a lot, it describes pretty well the vision I have of this "general mood" around here.

I can't think of any other recent posts, at least from yesterday, that involved any anger or hatred.  In fact, I can't think of any recent ones at all. 

 

Maybe you can't see it because you are too used to it? Or maybe I am staying too much in my wonderland where everyone is nice and calm all the time...

When a statement is made that I think is ridiculous, I do point it out.  I thought we wanted rigorous debate on this forum.  But most seem to want existential reaffirmation and validation of tulpa mythology (such mythology as tulpamancy is right out of ancient Tibetan Buddhism).  

 

Well I think it's a good thing that you do this. It enables debate. 

But well, I wanted to point out the passive agression that is latent on this board, and there you go. You reacted as if I was attacking you personally, and went pretty passive-agressive:

I will just leave the discussions to you guys and stay out of it.  I won't call it debating because there is no debating, that would be too unfriendly.  I will resist poking fun at the blatantly absurd and just read it for my own amusement and accept the loss of a chance to have fun with it.  

Thats a shame, I wanted a "rigorous debate" about this topic ;)

Maybe our age difference makes us unable to communicate ? If that's so, it makes me sad, because I'm sure we could get on pretty well, but this behaviour of yours just makes me want to run away from you and avoid your contact.I tend to avoid belliquous persons. Pretty bad way to create debate right ?

 

@KarlYoshimura

 

There were members who were just as bad, if not worse than what you describe several years ago, when tulpa.info was just starting. More offensive and extreme persons were tolerated in years prior because a fair deal of the initial user-base had discovered the tulpa concept and came from websites such as 4chan, which in their heyday were notorious for being needlessly slanderous, callous and spectacularly ill-tempered. While most of these users are gone, those who've remained became increasingly jaded and distant, especially some of the staff. These attitudes, combined with excessive individuality and the thin skin that pervades every kind of online social interactivity, nourishes not only unwarranted self-importance but also a catastrophically bad and unprofessional response. Like bacteria in a festering and neglected wound, this behaviour has gone unchecked and multiplied to the detriment of the whole. Apparently, the stewards of the site can't be bothered to do anything unless their authority or ideals are directly challenged while the most problematic members scurry out of the wood-work to perpetuate their vandalism for reasoning beyond my comprehension. It would seem that other active members simply don't care whilst others become entrenched in what small cliques best cater to their interests and opinions. 

So you'd say 4chan and the staff are to blame for this general attitude ? I must disagree. Well, I can't disagree about the fact that they started this, but we, the current users, are responsible for changing things, or just keeping it as is. Maybe some help from the staff could be great, but it looks like we can't expect it from them, so it's up to us right ? Just like IRL where politicians don't do sh*t for the people ;)

 

 

P.S. - if you do happen to remain interested in exchanging views or knowledge regarding tulpas, or just chat about things in private, feel free to send me a private message. In any case, I hope you're able to see past this mass of distortion and corruption and learn from both our successes and follies.

I would really love to, but I must confess that the words you use are scary for me. It's like high-end English, and I feel so small next to you.. This added to the fact that I'm pretty new in the world of thoughtforms, and that i'm a liiiitle bit antisocial, I'd never come to talk to you. On the other hand, I have a gigantic space for respect and curiosity in my life, and if you start a conversation, I'd be pleased to participate in it :D (Your English might even be a great way for me to improve mine ;) )

No animosity intended ever 

 

Cora now has her own account ! :D

 

English isn't our native language, please be indulgent :)

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I liked this metaphore a lot, it describes pretty well the vision I have of this "general mood" around here.

 

i live in a beautiful world where I don't take anyone being upset that seriously, because it always seems so silly. So I'm nice to people and try to help, but at the end of the day if they wanna be upset that's their thing not mine. As far as I'm concerned there's never anything really wrong on the forum and people just create their own bubbles of drama. You can really just ignore it, you know

 

also yes it's "Metaphor" in english

Hi, I'm one of Lumi's tulpas! I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.

I think being happy and having fun makes life worth living, so spreading happiness is my number one goal!

Talk to us? https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas

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You don't understand us because maybe when people talk, the person reading it can only imagine the person wanting to bathe in another person's blood. Sometimes, asking questions, and just saying a difference in opinion isn't exclusive to people foaming in their mouth, and wanting to go in a pit-pattering rage.

 

I sometimes think this conception is created out of boredom, because there doesn't seem to be a thrill if people are actually talking like sensible people. No, people don't like that, so they create their own drama and gossip in their own head. Creating criterion of suitable behavior, but when informed through others that feel they're just as worse, they take out the gerbil out of their asses, and spew holier-than-thou bullshit.

 

But really, there's nothing to even be holy about within the forum itself. For an endeavor that involves coming to terms with the privacy of one's own mind, clarifying the actual tonality and disposition in one's post to others seems to fall on deaf ears. It's like people just need something negative to be fabricated just so they can consciously beat around it even though for some members, they're not being hostile, or aggressive.

 

It's only those smart trolls that try to systematically bait something out of you, and make things as vague as possible so that the moment they get any indication that you're referring to them, they'll read between the lines, and confuse a person trying to have thick skin as something else altogether to fit their agenda of wanting to see the forum bathe in blood. There's even an etiquette thread somewhere in the forum that encourages having a thick skin. Thin skins would actually be more of pussies that just give up, and let the person have their way, which causes suppression of opinions.

 

But I guess it's about people that process things like: "Oh, I just need to know if he/she's acting this way, then SURELY, I can win the discussion! I just n--need to KNOW! IT HAS TO BE!"

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i live in a beautiful world where I don't take anyone being upset that seriously, because it always seems so silly. So I'm nice to people and try to help, but at the end of the day if they wanna be upset that's their thing not mine. As far as I'm concerned there's never anything really wrong on the forum and people just create their own bubbles of drama. You can really just ignore it, you know

 

also yes it's "Metaphor" in english

"Metaphor" edited, thanks :D

Well i don't take upset people the same way, in my world, I think they shouldn't be upset, and I usually think I am responsible for helping them not being upset anymore D: Your way seems wayyy more pleasant. As we say in French : this didn't fall in a deaf ear ;) 

I'll try to just ignore this, but it's not in my nature. I tend to try to change things and fix everything I see..(Cora: Superman syndrome. So much wasted energy...) I can't help thinking this place could be a haven of kindness and positive energy, but I guess it can't be 100% this :( Lame.

 

@Eva:

You don't understand us because maybe when people talk, the person reading it can only imagine the person wanting to bathe in another person's blood. Sometimes, asking questions, and just saying a difference in opinion isn't exclusive to people foaming in their mouth, and wanting to go in a pit-pattering rage.

I usually don't consider divergent opinions as a reason to create a blood bath. On the other hand, I tend to be quite sensible to agression and caustic sarcasm. One must also take in consideration that i'm not a native English speaker, so maybe I sometimes understand things wrong.

I know how to appreciate a constructive debate, these debates that lead to better understanding and reflexion for every person who took part.

Somehow, many "debates" I see here are just deaf people yelling their own conceptions at each others, which usually leads to anger and (I guess) pain, because one of the deaf persons misunderstood one gesture of another, and took it as a personal attack...

 

It's only those smart trolls that try to systematically bait something out of you, and make things as vague as possible so that the moment they get any indication that you're referring to them, they'll read between the lines, and confuse a person trying to have thick skin as something else altogether to fit their agenda of wanting to see the forum bathe in blood. There's even an etiquette thread somewhere in the forum that encourages having a thick skin. Thin skins would actually be more of pussies that just give up, and let the person have their way, which causes suppression of opinions.

I guess you are right, I must be a victim of those "smart trolls", but can't trolls be punished for such behaviour ? I mean, there is a warning system, isn't it ? Well, i guess it comes back to what Karl said...

Then I think I should rename this post to "We don't understand smart trolls" :p

No animosity intended ever 

 

Cora now has her own account ! :D

 

English isn't our native language, please be indulgent :)

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