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Is this normal?


JamMan

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I have never created a Tulpa before (not on purpose anyways. Won't get into that mess) an I try my best not to parrot and puppet but when I visualize her she. Just sits there completely still and sometimes collapses for no apparent reason as if she is extremely exausted

She isn't talking quite yet but I can feel definite emotional responses that aren't mine

Is this all normal. Especially the collapsing and staring part


I'm actually pretty worried about her

She looks dead sometimes and it freaks me out

I have to actively grab her in my minds eye and help her sit up sometimes

Am I doing this all wrong

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@JamMan:

 

I'm told some puppeting isn't unhealthy - conversely, I've read accounts where some hosts intentionally move their tulpas around, presumably to give them an idea of how to move. However, I do commend your efforts on restraining yourself in this regard.

 

If she appears catatonic and slumps over, why not force with her on your bed or upon the floor? You can gently lie her down and focus on being together. Close her eyes and let her feel your pulse and breathing. Let her observe and experience the rhythm of life itself through your body, if that's more your speed.

 

Alternatively, if you're a passive forcer, imagine holding her close in your arms while she sits upon your lap. Give her a hug and squeeze, stroke her hair, make her feel your warmth and receptivity of your patience. It sounds like you're doing fine, only that your tulpa requires some experience and understanding of her anatomy. If you need anything at all, feel free to ask here or consult me in private.

I've seen good people bleed

And I thought I'd seen it all

But my own two eyes would prove me wrong that day.

 

There are things that I've done

Only seen by the sun

And those things will be buried in my grave.

 

 

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Ok

Maybe I just need to give her some time

I laid her down on a bed so that she's comfortable

I can sense a strong sense of calm coming from her now

Its not like she can't walk it's like she's extremely exhausted

I'm legitamently worried

I just hope I didn't create a vegetable


I decided against giving her a personality with the assumption that she would flesh one out over time (maybe that has something to do with it)

All I have her was a name and a form

But even then I will be letting her choose her own later on

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@JamMan:

 

you may want to edit your posts instead of double-posting.

 

while I've encountered tulpas who've had little-to-no personality forcing, I don't see the harm in giving her several vague traits you would desire. Personality-wise and physically, tulpas can deviate from what you anticipate to realise their own free will.

I've seen good people bleed

And I thought I'd seen it all

But my own two eyes would prove me wrong that day.

 

There are things that I've done

Only seen by the sun

And those things will be buried in my grave.

 

 

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Puppeting and parroting aren't as bad as some of the early guides made them out to be -- doing these things won't land you with a mindless servitor, at least, and they're even useful early on as tools for both visualization and "teaching the tulpa" how to both speak and move. If you need to use this to solve your collapsing issue (which is definitely something I've never seen before in this community), go right ahead. Worrying about whether something is "normal" or not is kind of useless, considering that this is your personal experience, and not everything you do is going to align perfectly.

 

It seems pretty unlikely that your personality skipping bit has anything to do with this unless you believed that it would affect your tulpa negatively in some way.

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Ok

Maybe I just need to give her some time

I laid her down on a bed so that she's comfortable

I can sense a strong sense of calm coming from her now

Its not like she can't walk it's like she's extremely exhausted

I'm legitamently worried

I just hope I didn't create a vegetable

 

Don't be, and you didn't. The brain does some weird stuff sometimes, and this sounds like one of those times.

 

A lot of tulpamancy is about self-fulfilling prophecy. It could be that some part of you expects an underdeveloped tulpa to collapse and sort of "vacate" their visualized form. Part of you worries about her acting like a puppet with its strings cut, and so that's the image your mind conjures. Let me tell you that there is no more sure way to bring that sort of thing about than to worry about it happening.

 

Tulpas don't work like physical people do. We don't "collapse as if tired" when we're legitimately tired. That sounds more like it's coming from your end. You think this is what happens... and so it happens. Self-fulfilling prophecy. Most sure way to stop it is to wipe the worry/expectation from your mind.

 

The best thing to do is ignore the creepy aspects, and focus more on teaching her how to move around. If visualization is freaking you out, drop it for a while and focus on just building up her emotional response. Get the feel of her built up, and once she's a bit stronger on the personality side of things, both of you will have an easier time visualizing her with some life and personality in her.

 

In the meantime, relax and don't panic. Remember that it's your brain directing you and your tulpa's reality. You can ignore this, or change it to be a more productive visualization tool if you want. It's not going to harm your tulpa unless you expect it to. So dismiss this as the weird mental blip it is and just focus on feeding your tulpa love and attention. This will pass.

~ Member of SparrowNR's system ~

~ I am a soulbond. Click here to find out what that means. ~

 

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