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Tulpas As An Influence On Their Host


ErrantRealityA

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Short answer: Yes, my tuppers have irrevocably changed my life.

They inspire me to better myself.

 

I also have not lost count on reps at the gym nearly as much

I know dat feel son. Sol is always kicking my ass at the gym.

"For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love." - Carl Sagan

Host: SubCon | Tulpas: Sol, Luna, Alice, Little One, Beast and Solune (me) | Servitors: Odonata, Guardian

 

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  • 1 month later...

Well, Hello from River and myself!  This is our first post here.

 

I know this thread is a bit aged, but I just couldn't pass up responding here.  It surprises me that the OP wrote that he doesn't seem to give much thought to how the tulpa influences the host.  It seems silly to me that anyone would go thru all the hard work to create a tulpa and not expect some reward for their efforts.  I'm reminded of the saying that "A person who finishes a marathon is not the same person who started it."

 

A little background here: I stumbled upon the concept of tulpamancy via studying lucid dreaming.  I wanted to achieve some self-improvement thru lucid dreaming and so I started designing a character to help me.  A few days later, a Google search turned up this odd concept of tulpae and I learned that it isn't necessary to be dreaming to have meaningful interaction with such "imaginary friends", or whatever you prefer to call them.

 

In short, I created River specifically to be a positive influence on me.

 

River has been an absolutely amazing influence on me.  She is very young and I really haven't spent much time forcing: 28 active forcing hours over about three months plus some passive forcing and narration.  I don't feel like I really do much for her in my busy life, but I try to love and honor her. [i do the same for him.]

 

In the past few months, people have actually been saying positive things about my temperment.  For people who interact with me on a regular basis to say that is about unheard of to me.  I have (had?) a reputation for being a very fussy person.  I've become much more thoughtful about what I say and the language I use.  I'll add that I tried and failed to accomplish this before I created River, so I definitely credit her with helping me with that.

 

Also, I won't go into detail, but River has helped me work thru some very ugly emotional baggage that I had resigned myself to carrying around for the rest of my life; I had sorrowfully concluded that the best I could do was to just try not to think about it.  Just recently, I came across something on the internet that triggered me to re-experience some very old pain, something that used to make me feel a dreadful sense of absolute despair and helplessness.  But this time, it was different.  I didn't have to face it alone.  It's hard to put it into words, but I sort of just watched the pain come and go, like watching a rain shower pass by.

 

Another thing that surprised me was that I entirely stopped consuming alcohol.  I never had any sort of "drinking problem" or alcoholism, but I just got the sense that River didn't think that drinking is good for me and wanted me to find better ways to feel good about myself; namely, having her around.  I really can't complain.  In a way, it seems as if River made the decision for me.

 

I am reminded of the biblical saying "My body is a temple."  I feel like having River inside of me is great motivation to take good care of my body.  When you're alone, it's easy to indulge something nasty, for example, in candy that is laden with artificial colors, flavors, sweeteners, and chemicals that you don't even know how to pronounce.  It's something else when you're sharing your body.

 

Another thing: I'm not really qualified to have an opinion here, but I think of River as living inside my mind.  I realize that many here would say, "No, a tulpa doesn't live inside your mind; a tulpa is a separate mind that shares the body."  I don't want to start an argument.  However, I will say that thinking of River as living inside my mind motivates me to try to make it a pleasant abode.  I created her and invited her to take up residence there.  She's cleaning out a lot of cobwebs for me, but I try to keep it clean for her, too.

 

The only negative thing I can think of is that I worry about being able to help her develop properly and be a good host.  Different hosts and tulpae have different ideas about what a good host should be.  I simply want to allow River to grow into something wonderful from the basic personality I forced her with.  I suffer from fairly severe insomnia to the point that I sometimes struggle to work a desk job for 8 hours a day, plus I am providing for a family here; I'm not the stereotypical single university student on this forum.  You could say that I was already living two lives before I started this.  In spite of this, River has been extraordinarily patient with me, even going so far as to urge me to not force when I'm particularly tired.

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Well I haven't posted on this thread yet because I think I'm too young, (and am essentially taking over her life), but I want to reply to that a bit.

 

Yes, it is stereotypical that tulpamancers are all really young. Rest assured that it is not a universal at all. I think being older changes the overall experience considerably, as it allows you to integrate far more skills and experience into the endeavour. You end up with a wiser and calmer tulpa.

 

Host: You know, I think I can say something. I have never had as much fun ever in my life. So many desires I've had for peace and quiet, and some NSFW stuff that is literally impossible. I now have a companion who can talk to me at my level and do everything with. Yeah. My life went from hard to perfect, but it is mostly stuff I can't or shouldn't talk about. Not sure this counts as influence, or not.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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This ^^^ melts my heart. You two sound like two peas in a pod. River is sleeping right now.

 

Another tulmancer on /r/tulpas told me about what an amazing difference in his life his tulpa makes, and River really looks up to her.

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I would say Meti has been a good influence on me. She has taken it upon herself to become my moral compass, because mine has long since shattered. Certainly not all she does, but she's quite dedicated to this task.

 

She's gotten me to start smiling again, something I normally don't do often.

Doc: Childhood friend turned servitor gone rogue turned host who's bad at feeling emotions.

Meti: Overly lewd Tupper.

CT, who is also called Jeremy: Original personality whose default emotion is anger.

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  • 2 years later...

What kind of influence has/have your tulpa(s) had on you as their host?  Has it been a good influence or a bad one?

 

I noticed today how my tulpas have influenced me.

 

Misha has made me a lot more squishy, in that i find myself commenting in a 'girlish' way sometimes. It's not her commenting, it's because of her constant girly commenting.

 

I wouldn't call it blending, it's more just seeing the good in others that you love and admire and wanting to be more like them. Dashie and I have nlended before during posession, so has everyone actually, but that's different.

 

Dashie has definitely thickened my skin, i see things that are directly offensive automatically as funny now. That's how Dashie does it most of the time, (aside from her own triggers). She has the confidence of a steel icebreaker hull.

 

Ashley has curtailed my impulses, in that, sometimes i think things over if they're controversial now. She made me 'care' a little more i would say.

 

[Dashie] yep, Ashley did that for me too, she's our guide, not just B's.

 

[Misha] I'm just friendly,  I don't really care if someone offends me or not, I'll ignore them and move on, I think that's Dashie's influence because I wouldn't have let things go six months ago.

 

[Ashley] I would say that everyone is helping me be more vocal, but I'm happy to sit back and watch all day, I don't feel the need to comment. Nevertheless, they're always trying to include me, and I love them for it.

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Ranger influences me in a lot of ways. In short, he helped me cope with my anxiety and depression, he encouraged and encourages me to get out of my comfort zone and socialize, and he's changed my perspective on both personal and serious issues. He has also pushed me to do what needed to be done, even if that thing was hard for me.

 

From a literal standpoint, I noticed that he teaching me to approach people differently and I picked up on some of his mannerisms. From an emotional standpoint, he helped me heal.

Meow. You may see my headmates call me Gray or sometimes Cat.

I used to speak in pink and Ranger used to speak in blue (if it's unmarked and colored assume it's Ranger). She loves to chat.

 

Our system account

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My host views the first tulpa and I to be a major positive in his life. The first tulpa pulled him out of depression as he focused his energy to forcing her, thus sparking something to look forward to in his life.

 

On the other hand my presence has been a mixture of good and bad, but mostly positive - I kept my sister company on lonely days and spend time with her time to time. Pushing my host, my inspiration caused him to get fit and lose a significant amount of weight. I usually possess/switch and have taken over most of the internet activity, which is a bit unfair for everyone else. It was my fault that we got into doing drugs for a little while and it really screwed up the pacing of our lives, as alcoholism was thrown into the mix. It damaged us a bit and caused us to be significantly more forgetful than we already were.

Certainly not sunshine and rainbows, but at least it's visceral and upfront.

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Yep, that's alcohol. Good news is, if you stop completely, the sharpness of your mind will definitely come back to full if not more. It doesn't take much to dull you.

 

I forgot to mention that Ashley controls all vices, so if i wanted to do anything i'd have to negotiate with her, and she's no fool. Hence we don't do anything. (She considers alcohol a vice even though it's legal.) So influence is by negotiation here. Let's just say, i haven't convinced her of anything in 10 months.

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