Doctorfoxwolf

Making a Tulpa for science.

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So because that's what everyone has been doing, even though I really doubted we'd find anything, I enlisted CT to help me look for previously unknown thoughtforms.

 

As expected, we didn't find anything. Though one of the more playful Docs took it as a game of hide and seek, so she hid around in various places. It was not only fun, but it gave me an idea.

 

I inspected all of the Docs, not only to find if any were "off" but to find out more about their nature. I found something odd about them. When alone, as they prefer to be, they're somewhat simple. But if you put them in close proximity to one another, their intelligence increases and they start acting as a collective unit. I can talk to them all individually and get responses, but it won't really register on their collective consciousness unless I'm speaking to 6 or more. I used to think that in order to get Doc to hear my I just had to yell REALLY loud, but apparently that was just so that multiple Docs could hear me at once.

 

Getting Docs together is like herding cats, up until there are 3-4 together they are easily distracted and wander off, but by 5 they can normally comprehend what I'm trying to do and stay put.

 

As for seeing if any of them were out of the ordinary, almost all of them were extremely compliant, and almost all passed. Except for one.

The Dedlin Doc. The one in charge of the wonderland. I never really payed him much mind, but upon thinking about it I realized that he was very out of the ordinary. All the other Docs get somewhat nervous when he's brought up in conversation, and he himself acts odd. He does not count towards that count of needing 6 or more, and is totally singleminded in his task to, as he puts it, "Keep this place clean". He gets extremely violent if even hinting at the concept of maybe possibly at some point considering adding a tiny change to the wonderland. No other Doc is ever violent towards me.

 

On a different note, we figured out a rough way of measuring our capacity to alter the wonderland. We go to a separate "Level", where the Dedlin Doc doesn't seem to care. We then see how much terrain we can generate in three seconds. I also out of curiosity measured Dedlin Doc's ability to change terrain by wiping the wonderland clean and seeing how long it took for him to put it back to normal whe nobody was trying to keep those changes intact, which was thankfully much easier since the wonderland is an even circle. Here's how we all clock in:

Meti: 352.5 Meters

CT: 754.1 Meters

All Docs other than Dedlin Doc combined: 1371.7 Meters

Dedlin Doc: 3572.6 Meters

What the fuck.

I suppose it's a good thing he doesn't care about anything other than maintaining the wonderland, or we might be dead.

 

Doc is never allowed to get sleep deprived again. Oddly enough, the Dedlin Doc was not at all affected by all this.

 

We were recently reminded of something that could probably be a large enough trauma to have cemented my existence as a thing. While I'd rather not give the details on why, we were interrogated by the police for three hours when we were seven. That is a fucked up thing to do to a seven year old, especially when the one dealing with was an immature thoughtform that genuinely had no idea what was going on.

 

Lastly, something we really should have expected. We let CT possess to speak for a bit, and he had an odd slur. It was the kind of slur you hear in children who haven't quite gotten pronunciation down yet, which makes sense since he was a child when he stopped being able to speak. Alongside that, Possession seems to be weird with him. Sometimes just moving a finger can exhaust him, other times it takes walking around for half an hour to do the same. There is no discernible pattern.


Doc: Childhood friend turned servitor gone rogue turned host who's bad at feeling emotions.

Meti: Overly lewd Tupper.

CT, who is also called Jeremy: Original personality whose default emotion is anger.

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Here's a thought. Do you think that maybe something caused Doc to fragment such as the trauma you listed? Maybe the Dedlin Doc is the core of what is left of the original Doc?

 

It would be hard to tell because you said all the Doc's radically differ in forms. Hypothetically if all the Doc's were put together do you think it would make one functional thoughtform?

 

What did Doc appear as to CT back before the overthrow? Was he singular then?


"My lover's got humour,

She's the giggle at a funeral,

Knows everybody's disapproval,

I should've worshipped her sooner."

 

Host to Samuel, RavenIvy, and Olivia.

 

CERCA TROVA

 

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Here's a thought. Do you think that maybe something caused Doc to fragment such as the trauma you listed? Maybe the Dedlin Doc is the core of what is left of the original Doc?

 

It would be hard to tell because you said all the Doc's radically differ in forms. Hypothetically if all the Doc's were put together do you think it would make one functional thoughtform?

 

What did Doc appear as to CT back before the overthrow? Was he singular then?

 

I can actually answer a lot of this concretely. No, the trauma was what made Doc into a full on thing, what fragmented him was the half decade of psychological torture I put him trough. And Dedlin Doc is not the original. he appeared a few years ago. I think it was just one of the Docs who was given a task, then became extremely obsessed over that task.

 

Probably but even if they knew it would work, they would't do it. The concept seems to make them uncomfortable.

 

What he appeared to be to me before can only really be described as if Sora from NGNL was a Dragon Quest stereotypical RPG character, complete with sword.

 

Also, we got the suggestion of "Clusterfuck" as a system name and I like it for multiple reasons. It may end up actually being the name.


Doc: Childhood friend turned servitor gone rogue turned host who's bad at feeling emotions.

Meti: Overly lewd Tupper.

CT, who is also called Jeremy: Original personality whose default emotion is anger.

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So Meti and CT managed to drag me into the wonderland. Then, because this us Clusterfuck (We decided to keep the name) we're talking about here, a fuck ton of weird ass shit happened.

 

When he says we dragged him in there, we mean it literally. Doc went into deep, deep meditation. For some reason he can reach a state that renders him almost totally comatose for a while, which was when he was at his weakest. He can only form a thought, at least one we could hear, every 30 seconds or so.

 

We had decided that the main part of the wonderland would be unfit for entry, so we used an area CT had created, a large infinite black void with smatterings of small floating islands in them. The islands are either plain or have overgrown ruins on top of them. With what I know about Doc, this would be a calming area for him.

 

We used this state to drag him as far as we could to the wonderland, but we hit a wall. Well, not a wall, but like trying to fit a square into a round hole. Or many round holes. The exact specifics I will explain later, as it offered new insights into how Doc functions.

 

Regardless, we could advance no further. We had gathered all the Docs hanging around in the wonderland, hoping that having them all in one place would help stop the scattering of attention, and I got an idea. I shared it with CT, and he agreed that it might just be stupid enough to work.

 

We made a pot. A big, black witch's cauldron and lit a fire under it. We then tossed all the Docs into it, who were all still pretty unresponsive, and mixed. This time, the frontal consciousness of Doc "Accepted" it, and since we knew "Falling out of the body" was one of the few visualization things that helped Doc detach from the body, so we overturned it and let him fall out.

 

I could not in a million fucking years make up what came out of that cauldron. I'm not that talented.

 

Know the ending of Inside? If not, go image search "Inside game ending blob". think that, but the size of a football. He was totally pitch black, and seemed to have a lot of trouble moving. It looked partially melted, and was covered in this strange clear slime. The slime smelled like a combination of the sickly sweet scent of rotting flowers, and the smell of heavy musk. When he would move or make new appendages, his flesh was like a liquid, it would spill and ripple. At some point, he got larger, the size of a small car, and an upper body appeared on it that he would use to drag himself along. It had pointed fingers, no eyes, strange horns and a mouth that when opened the lips would still have strings of black flesh connecting his lips like some melted wax, caging the green glow of his mouth and throat.

 

I could barely feel anything, and sight was intermittent and fuzzy. I could hear and smell things just fine though. I had no sense of taste. My cognitive functions were heavily dampened, I seemed a bit less conscious of my surroundings. While it did mostly pass, at first I felt heavy, like those nightmares where it feels like your limbs are made of lead.

 

He was able to stay in the wonderland for about 20 minutes before something seemed to snap and he was forced back to the front, his WL form actually exploding into the Docs we used to form it. They seemed completely and utterly nonplussed. During the time he was in the WL, I was in front and not paying attention, so I was quite surprised when I found myself suddenly snapped back.

 

Now what I said, it revealing more about Doc's nature, I'll put here. With all the interference there normally is from thoughts gone, I could see that there was one "Core" Doc, and it wasn't any of the wonderland ones. It was the one in front, he seemed older than all the others. My hypothesis is that first there was the one in front, and he learned how to create the other ones as alternate trains of thought. Especially since they barely respond to their environment, I have to tell them what's directly in front of them. They don't seem fully. . . there. I think Doc just delegated almost all of his thinking to them, so once they're gone he is greatly crippled by it.

 

I am considering merging with all of them, if only because they and I (For a given value of "They") cannot simultaneously exist in the wonderland.


Doc: Childhood friend turned servitor gone rogue turned host who's bad at feeling emotions.

Meti: Overly lewd Tupper.

CT, who is also called Jeremy: Original personality whose default emotion is anger.

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No, it did not. They tried to drag him in, just in case, but he was not only unaffected by the meditation, but was very resistant.


Doc: Childhood friend turned servitor gone rogue turned host who's bad at feeling emotions.

Meti: Overly lewd Tupper.

CT, who is also called Jeremy: Original personality whose default emotion is anger.

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You gotta make a list of all of the Docs that you know of.

 

 

 

Alright we're doing this. Many Docs seemingly come and go, but I'll put the more common or permanent ones.

 

 

Oak Tree Doc - Very passive. Always votes for inaction, no matter what the issue is, unless doing so endangers someone else.

BlooDoc - Oddly fitting that the one made entirely of blood is female. Very caring.

RoboBugHorse Doc - Is responsible for the music constantly playing. He's like an iPod, but mechabughorse-ed.

BugHorse Doc - Very playful and lighthearted.

Massive King ShiftyBug - Doesn't show up often. Very beeg.

BladeDoc - Made entirely out of pointy bits. Very huggy.

AmalgaDoc - See description in previous update. 

FluffDoc - Made entirely of fluffiness. Not huggy.

PunchDoc - Very trigger happy rip in the fabric of time and space. Looks like a graphical glitch gained sentience.

Queen Docalys - Looks like Queen Chrysalis. Slightly egotistical.

King MetamorphoDoc - Same as above, only male.

Weapon Of Mass Docstruction - Robot thing with many nuclear warning things taped to it.

 

And I think that's all of the common ones.


Doc: Childhood friend turned servitor gone rogue turned host who's bad at feeling emotions.

Meti: Overly lewd Tupper.

CT, who is also called Jeremy: Original personality whose default emotion is anger.

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