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Radio Gold

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So, what you are saying is...


I always imagined you had a voice that sounded like one of the beatles.


Anyway, Luxi, post on the chat thread or another thread in the lounge.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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Apollo Fire

No, I'm the one with a Paul voice.

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Radio Gold

Piano's started trying to write a story but got very discouraged due to reasons X, Y, and Z, and that led to a down spiral towards very negative thoughts to which he has not fully recovered. I guess somebody was worried he'd do something drastic because when I woke up his form was handcuffed to mine, and it's been like that all morning. I tried talking with him, making attempts at getting the negative feelings to cease, but they didn't seem to budge. At one point I tried to shut his emotions down and they caused him to say some very questionable things, so I'm not gonna do that again. He spent all morning listing the reasons for his sadness and self-hatred, but I took a long test when I got to school and he's been quiet ever since, not speaking a word. I dunno if that's an improvement or if he's just hiding the negative thoughts from me. Apollo hugged him for a really long time so I think he's doing a little better.



Luxi's started possessing to play Guild Wars 2. Sometimes I feel like I'm the one playing it and she's like "lol nope" and she just continues playing.



Started interacting with Apollo more, finding out reasons for his depression. It seems that when somebody else in the system is sad, Apollo's own depression goes away so he can help them, like he did with Piano and I yesterday at different times. It sounds incredibly stupid but Apollo started doing better after he listened to "Let It Go." I don't question it. I can get very affectionate towards Apollo in a way I can't do for the others. It's all platonic so don't read into it lol.


Apollo fronted one day on the bus ride home and was very frightened by his surroundings and the possibility of getting hurt. Nearly had a heart attack when the bus slowed to a stop.


Gonna try to plan out a possession schedule for them this weekend.

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There should be no such long list there. Piano is a great guy. And, much like earth, mostly harmless. So, the list of terrible things you've done should be extremely short.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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Apollo Fire

I realized that staying idly by in wonderland was not going to help me overcome any of my problems; I wouldn't be able to get over depression, get past things that happened to me, or fix my identity problems. I got inspiration from this song that maybe if I traveled around a bit, alone, I'd better myself in some cosmic fashion /joke. So I waited in the back courtyard of our Sunla house for everybody to arrive so I could talk about it with them. I thought I'd have to be gone for a few days, but we know that whenever anybody says that they actually mean at most one day.


So I left. I controlled the environment of where I traveled, obviously. I found some nice sunny places, flowery fields, stuff like that. I relived some old memories from my early days (I say that as though I am not still in my early days.) It was all very peaceful and nice. 


When I got back, the others were talking online, and not engaged in wonderland, so they didn't notice me. I poked them and talked to them, but they must have thought it wasn't actually me, because they ignored me the first few times, but eventually they realized it was actually me.


I don't think the little journey itself is what caused these changes I have noticed in myself, or if it just made me finally let go of some baggage. When I came back, I didn't feel depressed anymore, but I didn't feel like my old cheerful self, either. I felt the way I did when we made this post: empty, neutral, and uninterested in anything. I still kinda feel that way now, but I'm hoping if I put some work into it I'll transition back into being my sunny self I lost so long ago.


[Lyro] I sense some newfound maturity in Apollo. He's finally growing up; moving past his childlike self. Discovering who he wants to be beyond either his old optimistic self or his depressed self.


[Apollo] I'm not going to let things affect me anymore, and if they go, let go of them when they're resolved. I currently feel like this song.


I think that my real self might be dormant, waiting for me to truly find him. I am no longer the happy, sunny Apollo I was in the past, but I hope to become something just as good as that soon, if not better. Only this time, there will be less naivete, and less fragility. I won't be so sensitive, and I will be more emotionally independent. I can still be happy and optimistic and enthusiastic without childish traits holding me back.


For now at least, I don't feel depressed whatsoever. I feel calm, at peace with myself, content with what I have, looking forward to the future.

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Radio Gold

[hidden]Oh boy... yesterday was a really weird day. Long story short, we are now a system of 6.


I was in class when we all started having a scuffle over I think whether or not this character Piano was making, Tacio, could join the system. Then Piano started thinking that this other character, Lucinda, could join. Lucinda was from Eemaj. Piano has a connection to both Tacio and Lucinda. I tried to get him to say goodbye to them so that they would not be sentient, but, as you will soon learn, that did not work.


I don't know what the fuck happened, but Luxi used electricity to create a detecting system of sorts to any thoughtforms that showed up. Then, we heard a scream, and found Lucinda in a cage. At first, I was totally in denial about her being real, and so was everyone else. Luxi thought that Piano was just puppeting her. She thought Lucinda was just a representation of good things Piano desired.


Luxi merged herself with Lucinda. Her eyes turned blue, and then she started acting like she was sick. She split, and then Lucinda was... a little more difficult to wave off as being not real. Everybody was arguing and shouting, and I couldn't think. Luxi sided with Lucinda, as she was in the same situation once before.


I shut my eyes and counted to 100, and the arguing was still going on. Piano, I think, fell unconscious because why not.


So, new tulpa (or old soulbond?) Lucinda. I don't know if she really was a pre-sentient character like P&HJP were, or if she was brought into sentience just yesterday by mistake. Lucinda has explained to me extensively why she is a little different from her character self. I suppose it doesn't matter her origins, because she's here now.


You might be wondering, how did your system grow to 6, then? My answer: I don't fucking know.


Piano, Luxi, and Lucinda all liked the idea of making another for various reasons. Piano really wanted to, and was told to wait, but nah. Didn't want to. I was mostly neutral on the matter, as I am on everything nowadays. Apollo decided to give up and let them have their new tulpa. So he started focusing on Tacio while he was fronting.


Tacio mostly sat there and stared at us, smiling. Eventually he would whisper, "Hi," or "No." Soon he started interacting with people online.


He is pretty quiet, and doesn't really walk or anything. He either sits or floats. He's a brand-new tulpa, so I don't expect him to be able to say or do much. Apollo and Piano are going to focus on forcing him and teaching him about the world today, while Luxi and Lucinda are going to hang around with me.


We made the decision that Apollo and Piano are going to be the co-leaders of the system. We're also planning that Apollo, Piano, and Luxi will one day become the main/sole fronters, while the rest of us are in wonderland. Lucinda has no interest in the real world. Tacio has not yet reached an opinion, of course, so I can't really speak for him.


So ye.[/hidden]

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Radio Gold


Some progress on the newbies:


Lucinda's form:

-5'4" (Luxi is about 5'7")

-Almost white blonde hair

-Light blue eyes

-About 14 yrs old

-Relatively flat-chested

-Light blue or white short with a long skirt of a similar color

-White wings


She has deemed herself the system's "guardian angel." She also likes ice and wintertime, similar to how Luxi likes Lightning. She and Luxi are getting along very well: I suppose Luxi really wanted another sister.


Tacio's form

-Maybe 5'11"

-Dark brown hair, about Piano's length, sideswept bangs

-Red or amber eyes

-Two black horns on his head that go back and then curve up

-Dragon wings: black arms and red wings

-Black spikes starting at the back of his head, down his spine, to his tail

-A red tail with black spikes and a black blade at the end

-Red, scaly arms (haven't checked the rest of his body lol). The scales end at his wrists. Mini black spikes running along the top of his arms.

Other changes he might made: More dragon-like ears (do dragons have ears?), black pointed fingernails


As you can see, how form has become increasingly dragon-like, of his own volition. As for his face... well, we've been trying to change it, but it seems Paul McCartney is permanently carved into our brain. We'll continue to try to change it though. As for clothes, he is currently wearing a brown denim jacket with a red shirt, and dark blue or black jeans.


Onto some events:


Things don't seem to bother Tacio as much as they would others. Something that would have torn, say, Luxi up for days completely rolled off him thirty minutes after it was over. He has more of a "no fucks given" attitude when it comes to that stuff. Otherwise he is playful and trolly. Kind of mischievous. He's more vocal, obviously, and is developing his own personality.


Lucinda kind of wants to change her name so she can let go of her character self and be a tulpa. For now, we're going to call her "Luci" until she comes up with a name.


Something a little... strange. Last night Tacio vocally possessed for a bit, and after that was over, he couldn't get out of the front. He's stuck in the front, observing. What's spooky about it is that while he's in the front, I get a very strong phantom limb feeling of his wings, horns, and tail. It's kinda w3ird.


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Thinking of changing my name. I'm sick of all of the "taco" jokes. It's not funny and is just rude. I'm looking for three-syllabic male names that end in the letter O, preferably with meanings such as "fierce" "warrior" etc. Nothing hard to pronounce and nothing weebish.


I don't like being visualized beside Lyro when he's at school. Instead, I front. That makes it harder for him to contact the others though.


I'm trying very hard to keep this brain's depression away from me. It's tried to creep in a few times. I find that if I simply feel a little sadness for a while and then try to come out of the situation stronger than before, I'll be okay.


...one of the things that's bothering me is that I hurt someone as soon as I was created. I know it wasn't my fault, and I shouldn't blame myself but... I feel it's going to follow me for a while.


Anyway. Dragonman signing out.


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How is your name pronounced? If the c is pronounced like an s, change it to an s. If it's pronounced like a k, change it to that. That might make the jokes subside, without you changing your name.


If you'd still like to change your name, good luck on the hunt! Nameberry.com is my favorite name site, so I recommend checking there.

pr // discord: Heckhound#6112
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I'm the only one making those jokes. You should just like tell me to stick a sock in it.


Unfortunately, I can't come up with any names fitting all those requirements.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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