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Ponytail

Giving in to Ego

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So, for the first time we shared a dream. Really, it incredible that I'm writing this after Doc's PR where Meti and Doc also shared a dream. The exact contents of the dream are difficult to remember but mostly it was just screwing around with host and playing with a beach ball but then also interacting with our impressions of Cjero and Kat.

 

Speaking of, talked to Kat yesterday on IRC. Normally I wouldn't do so because Kat has been a meanie butt to me before but Raven and I briefly talked about her and then I kinda realized how incredible a person she is. Then I remembered how host will sometimes spontaneously compliment people out of nowhere. I decided I would be like host and do so for Kat. God I am sooo bad with words. Never ever ask me for a motivational speech off the top, hostie is much better at that. Still, talking with Kat was quite interesting. I wouldn't say she's "ZOMG she's better than my waifu11!!!1!1!!" but she is really nice. Maybe my lackluster review of her is because she thinks I hate her or something. I dunno, she seemed cautious. Wait... Does Kat have a forum account? Eh, maybe I'll find out.

 

Now sense this is a progress report, I guess I should update on possession. I'm getting better. Full body is easy now, but it's actual control that's difficult. I don't understand knees. Like, stairs and elevation is so difficult and I just don't get it. Blegh. I kinda want to try and play chess with host. Kat was talking about chess and apparently Josh has a marble chess set somewhere, too. It inspired me :3

 

I love you all. Except for host because he doesn't eat enough chocolate.


The System:

 

It's too big.

ha, that's what she said.

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Really, it incredible that I'm writing this after Doc's PR where Meti and Doc also shared a dream.

 

I'm gonna sue. I'm gonna sue you so hard.


Doc: Childhood friend turned servitor gone rogue turned host who's bad at feeling emotions.

Meti: Overly lewd Tupper.

CT, who is also called Jeremy: Original personality whose default emotion is anger.

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Now sense this is a progress report, I guess I should update on possession. I'm getting better. Full body is easy now, but it's actual control that's difficult. I don't understand knees. Like, stairs and elevation is so difficult and I just don't get it. Blegh. I kinda want to try and play chess with host. Kat was talking about chess and apparently Josh has a marble chess set somewhere, too. It inspired me :3

 

I love you all. Except for host because he doesn't eat enough chocolate.

 

[Summer:]

 

Let me try and help you out on the limb control issue, Since i am a pony at first it was difficult for me to use the human limbs. Nihi knows this and taught me to memorize the muscle memory of how every limb works. That's how I practiced possession and full body possession with nihi back then. 

 

First he'll teach me the basics of the four limbs, The body's Left and right arm and the body's left and right leg. Nihi lay down, as the host need to be as relaxed as possible so that the tulpa or the one in control has better control. Nihi lift, one limb at a time as a demonstration what he did is that when he lifted his arm or leg he had the "Electrical impulses" (Do not ask that just how he thought me or how he said it to me) directed to me, like memorizing the familiarity of the movements. Then after nihi did his demonstration he will ask me to follow up with the same, I kept doing this until i can get the hang of moving each limb.

 

Same with walking and running and walking with obstacles and anything else to be honest, let the host demonstrate the movement first and have you or the tulpa memorize the flow of movements.

 

hope it helps ;)


Hello! I am nihi, i have 3 tulpas

Summer

Myrtle

Cherry

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What are you and Meti getting up to Omega? O.O

 

Still though, any advice on those is welcome. Eyes are strange because the eyes themselves aren't the objects you possess so I imagine it's going to take some effort.

Yeah. The eyes are tied to your computation. Whoever sits on the front, you will automatically use the eyes to aid your computation instinctively. Still, it is pretty easy to "look" at things instead of possessing the eyes.

 

Hey, wats this about white light through a red lens and red noise and hallucinations? I'm asking for a friend. My host. She can't switch out.

 

We do most of our experiments in the really dark. I don't think there is any benefit. Well, less distracting stuff to look at, so you kind of have to rely on wonderland stimulus. Which is the goal. I want to be forced.


Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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I'm gonna sue. I'm gonna sue you so hard.

 

Yeah? Well suck it, I've already issued in the patents

 

What are you and Meti getting up to Omega? O.O

 

Hey, wats this about white light through a red lens and red noise and hallucinations? I'm asking for a friend. My host. She can't switch out.

 

I have been doing nothing regarding Meti (save for the doll of her I keep in the wonderland strictly for murder. We're at 304 kills)... did the host say something dumb? Did Meti's PR say something dumb?

 

Curse you for making me go and google this!

Okay, I found it. It's called the Ganzfeld effect. I learned about it on a Cracked article. Which, I'll quote now:

"it works by blocking out most of the signals that go to your brain. It's the same kind of effect you get when looking into a soft light for a while and lose vision, except at a larger scale.

 

The sound of the white noise and the light from the outside of the ping pong ball are eventually ignored by your brain. With all those signals out of the picture, your brain has to create its own, and this is where the hallucinations come in. We can't guarantee they won't involve, say, the ghost of Lizzie Borden trying to hack off your scrotum with an ax, but that's the risk you take, dammit."

We mentioned this mostly as a joke but... reading it now I guess this could work? Lordy, the sundry knowledge you amass becoming useful for once, gotta love tulpamancy. I dunno, I don't have a red light, a ping pong ball, and a radio readily available so (well I suppose that only the light is hard to get)... tell me how it works out!

 

Also, as for possession... while I was already doing as Summer suggested, I tried to do so more so and more aggressively. However "Pick up you fucking knees" was a difficult lesson to learn still. So I told her to "Walk as though you're in high-heels." So you know, toes first. She then walked normally. I don't understand why this worked... maybe a different type of walking made her more aware of how to move her legs? I don't know.

 

I'm asking for a friend. My host.

 

I found this both cute and stupid at the same time. Cute because of reasons I don't understand. Stupid because why not just say "host?" Hmm, then again as I get to know more of this community the idea of a tulpa and host automatically being friends becomes less and less true.

... Annie, are you my friend?

Buy me a pretty purple umbrella and get a pet rabbit and I might.


The System:

 

It's too big.

ha, that's what she said.

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You can do this with any colour light and noise. I think it will only work properly with noise cancelling headphones.

 

Hm? Really? Huh, sources I read must have been wrong. There are noise headphones here somewhere... maybe I could try this if I ever up end up alone enough in this house.


The System:

 

It's too big.

ha, that's what she said.

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If ya get some of those do not walk around outside in them. Several fuckwits have been killed by trains here because of that. Walking slowly- staring at phone with 95% cancellation headsets on. Barriers come down. Train comes through. Person goes away XD.

 

That said though I get the premise- I find sometimes if I stare hard enough through the dark I can catch sudden high quality glimpses of vixen imposed on my vision for a split second. I don't know if it's imposition, imagination or very powerful visualisation though. Still. It's cool.

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So, it's been a little since I've updated and that's because nothing has happened. I've hit a brick wall on progress with switching. Hopefully, my hispanic heritage will assist me in crossing over it. Woohoo.

 

Today's topic is mostly about sex. Or at the very least, the driven actions behind it.

 

"Shalalalalaaa! Don't be shy, you know you wanna, fuck the girl."

Recently, I have been hearing this alot. It's a funny and curious outlook Annabell has on sex, then again I suppose I made it so that makes me the weirdo. I had read on this forum the issues of people trying to date other people's tulpas and also people dating their tulpas. The former I recognized as a problem that I needed to solve before it could arise. The latter I didn't see as an option, I want to have my own kids someday. So early in my creation with Annabell, I told her we were to be considered one person for the sake of relationships. After all, I only have one body. Could I make another, I would have definitely done so for Annie's sake. Anyhow, she took to this pretty well. However, that's really easy to forget when you're talking about someone who has made a schedule around seducing you. Still, when it comes to girls and me fantasizing about them, she gets really happy and says things like, "Go get 'em, tiger." It is encouraging, I'm certainly glad she decided to go along with that outlook. Do keep in mind this is the same lady who encourages me to sexually assault women. She's definitely getting complicated nuances in her personality, now that I think about it.

 

The second part to this is Omega. Now, I'm going to briefly summarize a really dumb case of symbolism. Omega told us he wanted to experience sex just once if simply just to see what it is like. He agreed with me he wasn't going to give his current form a penis so he made a were-panther form that's pretty badass looking. Then, he transformed into the panther side of things and the more feral he got the more an intense, sexual desire filled him. It scared him though, and for some reason going back to human caused the libido to leave. Then afterwards he could feel an attraction to particular people. Fast forward a bit, Annabell randomly just drops "Hey what if Sen and Omega were to date?" and then the two parties considered it and now they act cute with each other. Which, by the way, it's difficult to say if the idea of Omega being cute with a girl is more or less believable than to think Donald Trump is president. I've been writing the dude for 2.25 years. The idea of him being cute to me is a completely unreal and foreign idea. Hmm, still though, I suppose I should have them spend more time together. At the very least, it's good for Omega

 

That's all.


The System:

 

It's too big.

ha, that's what she said.

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