jeb0211

Jeb's bumpy ride.

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Helloooooo! We're back!

It has been a crazy week. I had no time to make a post.


My skills (or her skills) improved a lot, especially tactile imposition and independence.

Now I can feel multiple contacts at once. Hugging feels quiet real, I can feel her hands running up and down while I do the same. My sense of touch also got improved, although I rarely have the opportunity to use it. He is so busy ;_; 

She talks and moves in more natural but unexpected ways. She doesn't talk much tho, I want her to be more talkative but I guess that's who she is.

She now can possess my hands easily, we're working on arms now.

And I'm having difficulty in regard to passive forcing; I just keep forgetting her. I used objects to remind me, but it didn't work well. Maybe I'm getting too much stress and that's drawing my (or her) energy out.

 

That's pretty much it. Have a nice weekend. Bye! :p

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Despite some of the minor drawbacks, it's good to see that you're making progress. Instead of using simple objects to remind you, maybe you could try to include a representation of you tulpa in something that you check often; for example, if you're the kind of person who can't keep their face out of a phone, set your wallpaper to your tulpa's form or something that reminds you of them.

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In addition to Vos's advice, I say, you should look for something she can be passionate about, like a hobby. This can engage a continuous stream of thoughts. Ask her to think out loud as well.

 

Stress will impede progress in that fashion. I do wonder if it can be overcome with the right mindset.


Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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Week 7.

It has been a rather draining week.

Seriously, I have to learn how to manage my stress. I can't passive force at all.

Now her voice is mush clearer. And faster.

We tried some philosophical questions and her logic and metaphors were really impressive.

Imposition, especially visual, improved a lot. Now when she changes her clothes, hairstyle, accessories etc, I can notice the change right away.

We didn't practice possession so no progress there.


I really should update more frequently, since she really likes writing and thinking about ourselves. Maybe we should include this to our forcing schedule.

Well that's it I guess. Goodbye XOXO

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Week 10.

Now passive forcing is much easier. I can notice when she wants attention.

I think our technique is good enough at this point. We can communicate accurately, so it's not different from a relationship between two people.

Both of us don't find possession or switching interesting. Yes, it is a fun activity, but we don't find it practical. So we aren't working on that.

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Week... erm... 21!

I have been really busy so I wasn't able to write a PR.

To be honest, I'm still busy and I shouldn't be writing this, it's literally 2 days left until my final exam.  :(

 

Although I've been busy, I tried my best to spend time with her.

We chat while walking my dog, and before bed we usually spend about an hour cuddling and kissing so total of around 3 hours of forcing time per day. Plus some unscheduled passive forcing.

 

 

Quite a lot of things happened, first I had few ego dissolution while active forcing. It didn't last long, but had a big impact on me. I'm still having the after-effect from that, I -my ego self- feel a bit uncomfortable and confused.

And we figured out how to have sex "properly". Interesting thing here is that we share orgasm to some degree, and I found that her orgasm is much more intense then mine. I found it being a very powerful (and enjoyable) forcing tool.

I'm trying to revive our wonderland. I realized the usefulness of not having limits. We haven't used it for so long, it lost a lot of its details. I think it needs to be re-constructed. Since we used Jessie's home time to time, it's still in tact and we're going to start from there.

 

We'll update when we start the reconstruction.

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Sorry, I was planning to update this last Saturday, but I got sick. I feel much better now, still coughing a little bit though.


So, we reconstructed our wonderland.

Our plan was to modify her house and get rid of my house. Although my house was bigger, we wanted to use more familiar one. (I actually wanted to leave my house there or make some use out of it, but Jessie said it would probably disappear if we don't give it enough attention anyway. I got convinced and decided to focus on one house.)

And our houses were in the middle of nowhere. We were surrounded by hundreds of miles of grasslands, nothing to see or explore. It was really boring, so we decided to add a lake and a forest.

So first, we reconstructed her house. Originally it was a small 2 story log cabin. It was so small that it had no room, just a table on the first floor and a bed on the second floor. We needed some rooms for our closet/computer so we added 1 room for each floor. We also expanded our living room and bedroom, and put a TV and a stereo there. Previously we had no bathtub in her house, and Jessie really wanted to have one, so we had to make some extra space for that too.

After doing all that, we went outside to set how far away the lake should be. She wanted it to be very close to our house(like 50 feet away), but I have a fear of large body of water so we gave some distance. Its deep blue color terrifies me sometimes. It's nothing severe though, I just feel a little uncomfortable.

We decided to put the forest right behind our house, as we both love the fresh air coming from it. We have never entered it though. Maybe we should go there and chill after posting this?

It took about 5 hours straight to do all this. After this I felt really tired, and had a massive headache. Well, I guess it could've been quicker, but I wanted the details to last long. So I added some extra effort to make it stable.

 

Well, I'm going to wrap it up here. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. We are more than glad to answer your questions :)

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Disclaimer: I do not promote the use of any drugs and everything written in this post is fictional.

 

Yes, I haven't posted any logs for a ling time. Once again, I was busy, but it was because I've been experimenting. We've been trying magic mushrooms. We had some good results, and I hope someone can find this report helpful.

 

Before I really get into it, I have to tell you that posting this was a very hard decision. I still am not sure about this, because here in my country drug laws are very strict. A joint will get you locked in prison for about a year. I usually don't care about it when I use substances, because I know if I lock myself in my room during the trip, I won't be in any trouble. But this time I'm revealing my use to a mass of people, so I hesitated and worried a lot. Hope I made a good decision and can help people by sharing this.

 

The purpose of this is to demonstrate the effects of psilocin(psilocybin) to a thoughtform. As psychedelic drug's effect can vary a lot from people to people, I can't give you an exact expectation for what you and your thoughtform might experience. But I hope this can give you a good hint of what it might be like, and help you avoid having to experiment on your own.

I used mushrooms just because I have an unlimited supply of it. I've tried mushrooms many times before, but only 3 times(including a week long microdosing session) with my tulpa. All 3 times we had a firm goal for the trip, to improve her form and her abilities to think and speak.

 

Around 6/5, first time, I ingested 1.5g of P. cubensis. It was powdered and mixed with 1.5g of honey, and then encapsulated to 3 gel caps. I ingested the capsules with water.

(About the dose, I am quiet sensitive to psilocin. My 1.5g experience might be similar to average 2~3g experience.)

T+0:00 Just swallowed the pills. I did not fast and it's 2 hours after dinner.

T+0:30 Feeling a little nervous, not noticing any pronounced effects though. Jessie calmed me down.

T+0:50 Starting to feel some changes. Walls moving back and forth, thoughts racing. Difficulty interacting with her.

T+1:00 Gave up trying to communicate with her and just tripped normally. Wasn't tripping about her nor tulpa in general.

T+3:00 Noticed that I completely forgot about her and tried to communicate again, but failed.

T+4:15 Only able to hear her voice.

T+4:45 Able to fully interact with her, but her form is fuzzy. Her voice is much clearer than before.

T+5:00 Felt tired and fell asleep.

T+15:00 Woke up and she said good morning to me. Her thoughts and voice became much more distinguishable from mine. Her form(imposed) improved, it is much more vivid now. Also it has more details, like shadows. No difference on tactile imposition.

 

7/22, second time, same conditions as before.

T+0:00 It is 2 hours after my lunch. Feeling nervous about losing connection with her again. Meditated for 15 minutes.

T+0:45 No pronounced effects yet. Feeling no anxiety. Thought about the purpose of this trip.

T+1:25 Not able to communicate properly. Just some tulpish and gibberish. Stopped communicating.

T+2:00 Tripping quiet hard.

T+4:00 Tried communicating with her. It was possible but took a lot of effort.

T+4:30 Was able to access my unconscious mind. Successfully persuaded it to help her develop.

T+5:30 Casually chatted with her.

T+6:00 Felt tired so stopped chatting and fell asleep.

T+15:00 I woke up. Went back to regular routine.

T+16:30 She felt tired so she took a nap.

T+18:00 She woke up and there was a good improvement in her form(imposed). No difference in her thoughts nor speech. Tactile imposition skill did not improved.

 

So it seems at(relatively) high doses, You can get instantaneous development, without much effort. But I really don't think this could be your main way of forcing. No effort doesn't mean it's easy or safe. You can fall down the stairs without any effort, but you'll get serious bruises. A mushroom trip can be 10 times more tiring then 4-hour long forcing session. And you can have traumatizing bad trips. This method should only be used causiously when you're stuck.

 

From 8/21 to 8/26, microdosing. Dosage differs from day to day.

Day 1. 0.25g ingested. This was too much and I suffered from runny nose(one of the physical side effect of psilocin) and confusion... No noticeable difference.

Day 2. 0.15g ingested. Still suffering from runny nose. My thoughts were clearer then yesterday, but still having hard time doing complicated tasks. Her form got slightly more vivid.

Day 3. 0.1g ingested. No noticeable side effects, and her voice quality improved. She became quiet chatty and playful. I also got that effect so we had a really long and good chat. Tactile imposition skill also improved, she feels more soft and "alive" than before.

Day 4. Took nothing because I forgot. It is good to take a break for a couple of days to lower the tolerance, though. Not much difference from yesterday, which means we did dot lose our progress. Felt a little bit tired, but it wasn't significant.

Day 5. 0.075g ingested. No pronounced side effects, but I was feeling mushroom-y. She and I got chatty again so we ended up talking for about an hour before bed. Because of the improved tactile sensation, I kept asking for a hug. 

Day 6. Took nothing. Planning to take a break for few days. After that I'll keep microdosing on 0.1g level for about a week or two. Mostly because it improves things other than tulpas, like concentration and creativity, but I see the benefit of taking it for your tulpa's development.

 

Microdosing is more of a steady push, encouraging you to force more often and effectively. I found it to be more safer then(relatively) high dose trips. If you want to boost your forcing session's efficiency, this might be a good thing to try. But since there is no safety data for prolonged use of psychedelic drugs, you should be careful. If you've assessed the risks and you're really going to try this, keep the sessions short and take breaks frequently. I personally do not like the idea of being under the influence of psychoactive substance all the time, so I might quit later on also.

 

Hope you find this useful. I definitely think psychedelics hold a great potential for a lot of things, including the use for your thoughtform's development. But I don't think it is worth all the risks when you can develop your tulpa without using it.

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