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Realizing how fail I am for not having tulpa yet


Yori

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I haven't really posted here in a long time. It's been 4 years since I discovered this community. Anyway, I already realized that it would be great if what I do could be done on command and in a consistent way, which would amount to awesome forcing. But after stumbling across a term for what it is I do - I'll go with compulsive fantasy here - and people who also do it, and even seem to be able to plot times for it or try to do it at convenient times, I thought to myself, "wow, I am definitely so fail for having this curse (gift?) and still not being able to force a tulpa." I sort of wonder if what it is I do could lead to one, or if doing what I already do which has not resulted in a tulpa, but in a way more consistent way, still won't result in a tulpa? Because I've had recurring people imagined in what it is I do, and still have yet to have a tulpa. I wasn't thinking of them as tulpas though, and didn't actually try to tulpa force - I was just doing what I do. So maybe I really could, if I can get myself to settle on down into a scenario and do what it is I do on command.

 

And yeah, this is going to be a very confusing read if you don't Google the term I used first. I refuse to explain what it is I do here. I'm shy about that.  :O

My lip hurts.

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Going from what I know, heavy daydreamers are like everyone else, some get tulpas easily and some don't. The ones who wander this way are frequently stopping by because they managed to get tulpas or tulpa like characters in some of their daydreams. But honestly, you can't judge by this and just assume if you daydream all the time you will get tulpas easily.

 

I'd say the ones more likely to get tulpas are those who are halfway into fiction writing. Those who write fiction stories practise skills that are guaranteed to make tulpas easier. How much is it the imagination itself that does this?

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Going from what I know, heavy daydreamers are like everyone else, some get tulpas easily and some don't. The ones who wander this way are frequently stopping by because they managed to get tulpas or tulpa like characters in some of their daydreams. But honestly, you can't judge by this and just assume if you daydream all the time you will get tulpas easily.

 

I'd say the ones more likely to get tulpas are those who are halfway into fiction writing. Those who write fiction stories practise skills that are guaranteed to make tulpas easier. How much is it the imagination itself that does this?

 

Mmm, it's just, you'd think it would make it easier to force but it hadn't really. I can talk to people that aren't there at an impulse but I can't force deliberately? C'mon, you know? lol.

My lip hurts.

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Well, I came out of daydreams. But this was probably because my host was very consistent with them. Like clockwork, every day. It wasn't until a year later that we did anything that remotely looked like traditional forcing.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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  • 2 weeks later...

i can certainly second fiction writing as at least being doable. jack, asuka, and autumn came from that method. but of course they all deviated really hard after becoming sentient. but the amount of writing was absurd. back then i could write small and was doubling the capacity of the average sheet of notebook paper. but i can't remember the absurd page count i was up to before i stopped.

 

and they have certainly been sturdy. they stayed mostly intact for 17-18 years of me being in denial about them and mostly ignoring them. and yet they still don't hate me for some reason.

Sophie: i'll do most of the posting as we're still working on getting back up and running.

Autumn:

Asuka:

 

i've more to come as i pull them out of cryo.(others may call it stasis)

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I haven't really posted here in a long time. It's been 4 years since I discovered this community. Anyway, I already realized that it would be great if what I do could be done on command and in a consistent way, which would amount to awesome forcing. But after stumbling across a term for what it is I do - I'll go with compulsive fantasy here - and people who also do it, and even seem to be able to plot times for it or try to do it at convenient times, I thought to myself, "wow, I am definitely so fail for having this curse (gift?) and still not being able to force a tulpa." I sort of wonder if what it is I do could lead to one, or if doing what I already do which has not resulted in a tulpa, but in a way more consistent way, still won't result in a tulpa? Because I've had recurring people imagined in what it is I do, and still have yet to have a tulpa. I wasn't thinking of them as tulpas though, and didn't actually try to tulpa force - I was just doing what I do. So maybe I really could, if I can get myself to settle on down into a scenario and do what it is I do on command.

 

And yeah, this is going to be a very confusing read if you don't Google the term I used first. I refuse to explain what it is I do here. I'm shy about that.  :O

 

Here’s my opinion on your concern:

 

I feel you’re using that term, compulsive fantasy, as a way to funnel your frustrations as to why you seem to have the inability to create, or rather, develop a tulpa all these years. You revel in this idea that, ‘it would be great if what I do could be done on command and in a consistent way,’ but ironically, I think you’re probably proficient in some way. And here’s why.

 

The more you combine that term along with whatever virtues you pursue in what validates a tulpa as a tulpa, to you, the more disconnected you’re going to feel from actually figuring out what that means (what makes a tulpa, a tulpa to you); the more it makes you think, ‘what good are my powers/competency if I can’t use them when I need to?’

 

And let’s say you were able to satisfy that inability to do said goal of compulsive fantasy – does it suddenly provide all the answers to you on what makes a tulpa, a tulpa to where you feel assured you’re even creating one? What does a neurological phenomenon in your brain to create imagination have to do with validating whether or not you have a tulpa?

 

It’s so ironic that people think that being able to tap into an imaginative state of being with their mind is the only correlation they can utilize with tulpas. To think, that a sentient being as yourself, wonders why they’re such a failure in creating a tulpa; someone who has a desire for something like any other sentient being to even be beings of desire is having such a hard time being assured that they’re having progress with creating and interacting with a tulpa.

 

Sure, it’s one thing to use our imagination, and whatever modes of experiencing it to supplement this strive to treat a tulpa as sentient, or whatever virtue the person has in mind. But it’s another to where you let one term to describe some mental phenomenon in your head be this obstacle that prevents you from doing the things you could only hope of achieving. And I’m sure you’re also analyzing other people’s progress, and even though we can’t have direct third-person access to each other’s subjectivity, you feel somewhat intimated by how people conceptualize success and progress with a tulpa they presume to be treated as sentient.

 

This just goes to show that treating a tulpa as sentient entails having to investigate what makes humans sentient, and even sapient vs. a living organism that may not having as a complex nervous system. That investigation involves a bit of philosophy, but because philosophy can be hard for some people, enduring the day in and day out of life while having a progressively open mindset in another potentially sentient entity in your head can end up being mentally exhausting.

 

A compulsive fantasy doesn’t suddenly give you closure over what it means for a tulpa to be sentient. Nor does it serve as an end-all be-all way to validate to you that the tulpa-in-question is such an entity. You only have yourself to blame. This isn’t meant to attack you, but just to raise awareness that if people are demystified as to why they can’t get any progress, even though they’ve had experiential learning and memories of being a sentient entity, it shouldn’t be too surprising why they feel like failures. They failed to acknowledge what they had to go through, and how they developed this confidence that they had one continuity of self all their lives; seeing an ‘otherness,’ or another potential continuity of self that can be as single-minded as them in terms of desires and self-actualizing.

 

Compulsive fantasy, or entering that mode of imagination, and others, doesn’t make you magically figure out what it means to be sentient. It can be a way to interact with a tulpa, but what good is that when that existential mirror on the side isn’t put up for you to reflect on to see if there is an ‘otherness’ to interact with?

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