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SomeKindofRobot's Progress Report, In Depth!!!


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It's possible that your emotions will affect your tulpa, but even if they're negative emotions, this doesn't necessarily mean that it's going to be harmful, if that's what you're thinking. And yes, tulpas can feel things that the host and other in-head oddities don't.

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What is going on pals!?

 

It's 1:00 AM and I'm feeling alive. It seems like I've bounced back from the funk I was in this weekend. And you know what that means. More forcing time!

 

I've started out tonight by listening to jean-luc's Tulpaudcast. Listening to other people in the community who achieved their goals helps me get revved up for forcing. If you haven't given it a whirl I'd certainly recommend it.

 

(3/27/2017 1:28AM, My Room): SO first order of business: Tonight's Session. I want to get a lot done, mostly in the time department. The more time I sink into Holly the more concrete and easy to recall she is. The more concrete she is the easier it is to narrate. The easier I can narrate the easier she becomes vocal blablabla you get the point. I want to get stuff done! So here's whats on tonight's menu:

 

Personality via list, Visualization via imposition, Personality via puppeting, and maybe some random fun exercises. 

 

Session details below and question related stuff at the bottom!

 

Session (1) Roundup: 

[hidden]

As always I put on some of

Fede

's tones. 

Personality went just as well as usual. I timed myself today and tried to get two minutes on every point. Did well on that goal except for the final two, where I got pretty tired. I gotta start doing this at better hours. 

Visualization went as well and as quick as usual. I can recall the basics of her form pretty easily but proportions remain a problem. Part of the process, I suppose. 

Sadly, there's no time tonight for puppeting exercises, I really gotta hit the hay. 

[/hidden]

 

All in all tonight felt like a consistency update rather than progress. Its pretty ridiculous I'm forcing this late, it's impacting the length of my sessions and therefore Holly's growth and that's unacceptable. I will try daily to move up my forcing earlier and earlier. 

 

I have some exercises planned for tomorrow though. Some of LinkZelda's image streaming techniques (puppeted) and more advanced puppeting scenarios can be expected. 

 

Anyways, thank you for reading and question stuff is down below!

 

~

 

Last Post's Question Response:

[hidden]

Your emotions affect your tulpa if your tulpa can see them. In all other respects, there is no clear relationship across tulpamancers.

 

It's possible that your emotions will affect your tulpa, but even if they're negative emotions, this doesn't necessarily mean that it's going to be harmful, if that's what you're thinking. And yes, tulpas can feel things that the host and other in-head oddities don't.

Well this is certainly a relief to hear. No visible signs of harm or anything, so I guess its all good. I was starting to worry that mentally there would be some coincidental association between those forcing sessions and sadness. Luckily, I was wrong, and classically I was worrying too much. Thank you two for helping me out here!

 

(On a tangent here I find it absolutely amazing that a being existing within another's brain can feel a completely separate set of emotions, despite existing in the same place where said emotions are produced and set into motion. Usually this would seem pretty obvious to me but, I don't know I guess the whole thing just hit me like I was hearing it again for the first time.)

[/hidden]

 

Questions: 

- Throughout my sessions I have noticed I spend very small bursts of time on visualization. As visualization is based on memory, how much time does it take for the memory to start losing progress on a incomplete Tulpa?

 

- I have had a very bad problem in the past with my Tulpa's positioning when I force. Right now I tend to imagine Holly asleep whenever I do personality and narration. Could this constant referral to a specific state of her form cause her to struggle moving? Basically, when the time comes for her to start showing signs of vocality/movement will she be stunted by instinctively and repeatedly being ingrained into my head as sleeping? 

Currently working on Holly.

 

Alternatively: Heres a Salmon Website

 

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A tulpa is not their body any more than a human is their body. Short burst of visualisation on your tulpa may lead to visualisation difficulties later. But it won't change who your tulpa is or their speed in other ways.

 

On the other hand, forcing to a sleeping tulpa will in no way impact their movement later. Though, I wonder if forcing to a sleeping tulpa will lengthen the time until they wake up.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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Oh  b  o  y  I'm forcing late at night once again, and forgot to force yesterday. Yikes! 

 

(3/29/2017 12:23AM, My Room): Im not tired, and that is a very good thing. But I cannot push back forcing time until hours later. 

 

Here are some of tonight's planned activities:

 

Impositional Narration

 

Linkzelda's image streaming (Puppeted)

 

Personality Through List 

 

Visualization 

 

 

~

I'm just looking to cover the basics, but cover them thoroughly. I'll get started after I finish listening to this bizarre but entertaining episode of jean-luc walking.   

 

 

As always the session details are below:

[hidden]

Popped in my earbuds and put on

fede

's tones to settle me into the session. 

Narrated for about 10 minutes about random stuff, mostly to recall all of Holly before the session begins. I definitely feel there's more of a presence in her form now, like something going on under the surface. I'm curious to see how this will develop in future sessions. Im going to lie down and do some in-wonderland visualization for a change.

Spent about 20 minutes with Holly in wonderland visualizing. It was very relaxing and I got some good work done. Again, Holly's recent presence is remarkable. I feel like there's another person in the room. The length of her hair and facial proportions are becoming consistent, as well as her clothing's length. 

Onto personality! Did a very brief 10 minute session and brushed up on the list. Im starting to memorize it, which is good. 

 

Onto the final activity: Image Streaming! 

To sum image streaming up, allow your imagination to come up with spur of the moment scenes and stories and describe whats happening in your mind's eye. Usually, one would do this with a vocal Tulpa and explore with them. Despite this I will be puppeting Holly and using this exercise to flesh out her personality. The more of her I see in pseudo-action, the more I'll understand what she is like in real-action.

The word document containing my image streaming session can be found at the bottom of this post.

The session was certainly interesting. I found it odd how Holly didn't talk much like she did in previous puppeting sessions. Perhaps this is because image streaming is spur of the moment. Holly's interactions were told more through expression and interest. She did talk a bit, though. I'll do this about once I week, I think. Its a good practice in visualization, with a little bit of personality involved. 

[/hidden]

 

Well I actually feel pretty good about tonight. Holly's prescense was strong and I felt like my tiredness only effected the session a little bit. 

 

Tommorow I'll force before 10:00PM to get more content in. Anyways, thanks for reading! Questions and others at the bottom! Seeya!

 

~

Last Post's Questions Response:

[hidden]

A tulpa is not their body any more than a human is their body. Short burst of visualisation on your tulpa may lead to visualisation difficulties later. But it won't change who your tulpa is or their speed in other ways.

 

On the other hand, forcing to a sleeping tulpa will in no way impact their movement later. Though, I wonder if forcing to a sleeping tulpa will lengthen the time until they wake up.

Understandable. Despite no long term effects in short bursts, I think I'll shift over to longer sessions to save myself the headache later. 

 

I too think it'll be curious to see if Holly wakes up in a different fashion because of her sleeping. Since there's no harm in it, I think I'll let her keep sleeping and observe what happens. 

Thanks for replying!

[/hidden]

 

Image Streaming Session:

[hidden]

 

Session 1

3/29/2017

Starting: 2:04 AM

Ending:2:17 AM

Featuring:

Me

Holly (Puppeted)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Holly and I stand in a forest of very tall and pale trees. Their shades vary in degrees. Holly is looking around, not concerned but curious. Whatever the case there is something off about this forest. There is twinkling of chimes around us. We have begun to move. The sky is sinking fast and it is now night time. Holly is asleep on the ground suddenly. I lie down next to her and look up. The stars are out. We're by a cliff side and the wind is whipping our small camp. There is meat cooking in a pot. Now Holly and I are back at the wonderland apartment. We are huddled around a TV watching some program. It seems to be some cutesy children's show from japan. She's very happy and enjoying it. She is slurping down ramen noodles and cheering for the protagonist. Suddenly the door opens. Its no one. We go out to investigate. We decide it s too late and go back inside. We are now in a zoo. The zoo is very large and consists of huge stadium sized sections. We have entered one, and it is filled up completely with water and massive whales swim around. It is a little terrifying, but Holly is very excited more than anything. We are back outside and walking through the entrance of the zoo again. We are now watching a cheetah eat a dead rabbit for a meal. She is not very happy about this, and might cry. I get us out of there and we go to the petting Zoo. Holly is in heaven. Suddenly we are back thousands of years and dinosaurs are roaming. It kind of baffles me that we got here, Holly is not a huge fan of the dinosaurs. We step into a time machine sitting around and go back to the future. We're loafing on the coach. Im pacing around talking to myself while Holly is sewing some kind of costume. She is smiling to herself. It seems like a very calm night. Now a storm has begun to brew outside and rain patters against the windows. The scene is incredibly tranquil. Holy remarks “Done” as she finishes what she was working on. It is now outside at night and the weather is clear. We are at a 7/11 akin to the one I went to every night in Japan. We're picking out meals to eat back at the apartment. Holly has chosen melon bread and milk. I've chosen milk and that's it. We are now heading back to the apartment by train. The train is bumping around and Holly and I are standing. She's humming some kind of song. The train has stopped and dropped us off at a station. We walk by a highschool and say nothing. The sun is up and I am waking up in my bed. I walk outside to see Holly eating cereal and watching TV. She is in pajamas and her hair is frizzled. She is content to see me. Suddenly we're at an amusement park. It's very surreal and spans hundreds of feet into the air. Holly really wants to go on a coaster. I ask her why, she's not sure. She says it seems like something I would like. We walk around and pastel people of varying dimensions bounce around like inflatable balloons. We are now surrounded by a forest of wacky waving inflate people you see outside car shops. It's a little weird but Holly is laughing. Now its back in the apartment and she seems drunk. Shes waving herself around and talking about nonsense and her Tv shows. I seem to be sober. We're now in a car in the middle of a corn field. I drive forward and try to get a grip on my surroundings. I cant. The scene melts away.

[/hidden]

 

Questions:

- In regards to deviations (as in changes in form) is there anyway to differentiate between intrusive thoughts and a Tulpa deviating? 

 

- Everybody at some point in their life has to deal with weird chemical imbalances in the brain, whether it be depression, hormones, attention problems etc. Should this be something that we simulate in a Tulpa's processing? Do Tulpas think that these things are unnecessary and needlessly annoying or a vital part in relating to/being a sentient mind

Currently working on Holly.

 

Alternatively: Heres a Salmon Website

 

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There is no objective way to tell if a thought is intrusive or deviation until your tulpa is vocal and they can tell you themself. As you advance in tulpamancy you will be shifting from your control of your tulpa to their autonomous control of themself. An intrusive thought is an uncontrolled unwanted thought. It is intrusive when the primary controller does not desire it.

 

Everybody at some point in their life has to deal with weird chemical imbalances in the brain, whether it be depression, hormones, attention problems etc.

Pop psychology. In particular, this may be a distinctly western, or even american view.

 

No matter how you slice it however, a tulpa is not a simulation. Once they get going. They have a different developmental path from a human. How do we know this? Because we let it happen.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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Uhooooh! Its past 10 o'clock and that means I didn't reach my goal for forcing early. However, it's certainly better than 12:00 AM. So no procrastinating, time to get down to business. 

 

(3/29/2017 10:40PM, My Room): Heres what's on the menu tonight folks:

 

Narration 

 

Visualization 

 

Puppeting Scenes (Personality Traits)

 

Personality via list

 

-

 

A simple plan but a solid one at that. 

 

Session details below!

 

Session (1) Roundup:

[hidden]

 

Fede

's tones marked the beginning of the session as narration started.

Just like last session I did some impositional narration to get Holly centered in my head. After this I showered and narrated a bit more. 

Visualization stayed in the wonderland tonight. During visualization Holly made a movement that was eerily natural. More on that in the questions section. 

I feel as if visualization gets easier and easier every time. 

 

Next up is puppeting! Ill be using a new set of 5 scenes that demonstrate Holly's 5 core personality traits: Kindness, Trustworthy, Protective, Minimalist, Determined. Scene details are at the bottom of the post.

I tried to keep the scenes open ended and simple, and it worked out for the better. The more freedom I give the scenes the more her personality takes the center stage. I need to do this exercise more, as it gives me a rare parroting opportunity. Holly's voice is complicated but slowly coming into focus.

 

Tonight's personality list forcing was quick and uninspired. I'll need to work on this.

[/hidden]

 

All in all tonight was a good night. Surprisingly visualization stood out as the most impactful component. Hopefully this leads to a more vivid and clear Holly in the future.

 

Anyways, questions and other info at the bottom of this post. Thank you for reading!!!

 

~

 

Puppeting Exercise Scenes:

[hidden]

HOLLY SITUATIONS TO PUPPET:

--

Kindness:

Holly picks her friend up from work and asks them about their day.

 

 

Trustworthy:

Holly discusses a secret with a friend and gives them earnest advice.

 

Protecting:

 

Holly's friend has been harassed by an old friend, and she won't stand for it.

 

 

Minimalist:

 

A montage-esque walkthrough of a simple, happy day in Holly's wonderland life

 

Determined:

 

Holly wants to pick up some late night snacks, but every store is closed. This, however, does not stop her.

[/hidden]

 

Last Post's Question Response:

[hidden]

There is no objective way to tell if a thought is intrusive or deviation until your tulpa is vocal and they can tell you themself. As you advance in tulpamancy you will be shifting from your control of your tulpa to their autonomous control of themself. An intrusive thought is an uncontrolled unwanted thought. It is intrusive when the primary controller does not desire it.

 

Pop psychology. In particular, this may be a distinctly western, or even american view.

 

No matter how you slice it however, a tulpa is not a simulation. Once they get going. They have a different developmental path from a human. How do we know this? Because we let it happen.

 

- I like this perspective on intrusive thoughts, that they are only intrusive in context to the host. I suppose, in this way, a deviation is an intrusive thought the host is okay with in the early stages of development. As Tulpas develop, they become the primary controller of themselves and can sort intrusive from deviation. I had never thought of it like this before. 

 

- Fair enough, it was quite a leap to assume that those things are part of being alive. Furthermore I now realize how I have been comparing the growth of a Tulpa to heavily to the growth of a Human. A Tulpa's growth is a completely different process, and is capable of complete separate functions.

 

Thank you for responding! You always seem to make me see things in a different and clearer way

[/hidden]

 

Questions:

- Tonight, while visualizing, when I stood Holly up, she made a movement that was eerily natural. I can't quite describe it. It just looked so automatic. Now, I personally do not believe that this was Holly's own movement. It's only a week into development and I tend to have rampant intrusive thoughts that move my Tulpa around. However, this got me thinking. I've heard time and time again that when a Tulpa moves on its own, its a very alien experience. Supposing this is true, and I were to feel this, what would be the correct response in regards to puppeting? Does it only slow down the process to continue puppeting after a Tulpa has shown signs of sentience, or would it help them find movement more easily? And even if the latter is true, would it be too uncomfortable for a sentient Tulpa to be controlled to merit puppeting?

 

(Also two days ago marks one week since Holly was made. Woohoo!)

Currently working on Holly.

 

Alternatively: Heres a Salmon Website

 

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If you weren't focusing on her moving then it was her. I doubt your intrusive thoughts would have made her move naturally. Mine want to push me off cliffs and the like instead.

 

Ivy moving on her own was never an alien experience. Her talking to me he first time was.

 

To answer your other question if she can pilot her own body then let her do so. Puppetting when your tulpa is sentient will likely just make you doubt more that it was you or them. I have to fight Ivy to puppet her now.

"My lover's got humour,

She's the giggle at a funeral,

Knows everybody's disapproval,

I should've worshipped her sooner."

 

Host to Samuel, RavenIvy, and Olivia.

 

CERCA TROVA

 

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It is my strong belief that people don't know what they are talking about when they say it feels alien. And I say this for one simple reason. What does an alien feeling feel like?

 

It will feel like it is not you. Stronger claims cannot be made. These will be personal experiences, and vary between persons.

 

I don't know if puppeting after you start to get autonomous signs of sentience will slow things down or not. However, if you stop puppeting them, and they stop moving altogether, then I'd say you stopped puppeting too soon. So, IDK.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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Whats going on folks? Im back on track with another session of forcing. There were some interesting developments last time and Im curious to see if they'll develop this session.

 

(4/1/2017 2:15AM, My Room): I am extremely tired while writing this but that's no excuse not to force. That being said I am going for a lighter session so I don't fall asleep while forcing. Im thinking of some narration, visualization, and personality. As always session details are below!

 

Session (1) Roundup:

[hidden]

 

Fede

's tones attempted to focus my mind as the session began. Narration was pretty standard, I was a bit loopy and couldn't focus very well despite the tones. 

I did personality completely from memory and was able to remember almost the entire list.

Visualization was cut very short as my mind's eye gets wackier the more tired I am, and it gets harder to focus.

[/hidden]

 

Today's session was short and sweet but hey, gotta keep up the forcing. Questions below and thanks for reading!

 

~

Last Post's Question Response

[hidden]

If you weren't focusing on her moving then it was her. I doubt your intrusive thoughts would have made her move naturally. Mine want to push me off cliffs and the like instead.

 

Ivy moving on her own was never an alien experience. Her talking to me he first time was.

 

To answer your other question if she can pilot her own body then let her do so. Puppetting when your tulpa is sentient will likely just make you doubt more that it was you or them. I have to fight Ivy to puppet her now.

It is my strong belief that people don't know what they are talking about when they say it feels alien. And I say this for one simple reason. What does an alien feeling feel like?

 

It will feel like it is not you. Stronger claims cannot be made. These will be personal experiences, and vary between persons.

 

I don't know if puppeting after you start to get autonomous signs of sentience will slow things down or not. However, if you stop puppeting them, and they stop moving altogether, then I'd say you stopped puppeting too soon. So, IDK.

 

It's hard to tell whether I was focusing on moving her, and wether or not it felt different is ambigious to me as I can't recall the feeling, but I'll definitely treat her movement as a certainty for now. Better to be mistaken than negligent. This means cutting down on the puppetting quite a bit until the dust settles. Thank you guys for the advice, it helped me kill my paranoia about puppeting quite a bit

[/hidden]

 

Questions:

- I understand and wholehearedly agree that hour counts are detrimental to the Tulpa making process, but in your opinion should the amount of time spent forcing ever be used when considering a young Tulpa's sentience?

 

(Sorry this post was so short and oddly written, I was real tired when I wrote it!!!)

Currently working on Holly.

 

Alternatively: Heres a Salmon Website

 

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