I'm new. This is about me, and why I need a Tulpa. I also have a few questions.

[Douglas]

(Please read the whole thing.  It's very important, and it's fun to read.)

 

Hello!  My real name is Robert Daniel Black, but I go by Douglas for complicated reasons I may explain in a different post.  It's a really fascinating and off-topic story. :)

 

I feel that I should first mention that I have Asperger's Syndrome.  This has thousands of symptoms, but one of the major ones is that I think very, very logically.  Emotions rarely come into play, most of my decisions are made by logic alone.  I want to know how this effects (affects?) Tulpa creation, and I'm really hoping it doesn't have negative consequences, though sadly, I suspect it does.  

 

Anyway, I am very new to anything concerning Tulpas.  In fact, I never even heard of them until yesterday!  This made me very interested, and for a number of large reasons:

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1. My family hates me.  I'm not a snobby 16-year-old who runs around saying woe-is-me, my family literally does hate me.  They said so themselves.  I feel a Tulpa would work really well as a friend, and would give me somebody not only to talk to, but to actually love me.

 

 

2. I'm not allowed to leave my house, unless going to school, church, or miscellaneous scouting activities.  This means I have limited interactions with any friends I have, and I'm super lonely, especially in the summer when there's no school.

 

 

3. There are problems I see in myself that I feel a Tulpa may be able to solve.  Probably my two biggest issues are me being super impulsive (Asperger's Syndrome), and the fact that my impulses are usually self-serving, and not caring of others.  I really do care about others, but I act too quickly to really show that.

 

 

4. I would love some empathy.  Because Asperger's Syndrome makes me think differently from others, I rarely understand them, even if it would be very obvious to other people.  While it's likely that my Tulpa would also have Asperger's Syndrome simply because I have it, it would still be nice to have a second opinion with everything I do.

 

 

5. Now this is where things get complicated.   :D

 

I've been programming and designing games since the age of eight.  The thing is, I'm not anywhere close to the average game designer, and it'll probably take a few years to fully understand the logic behind my game.  For those eight years, I've been working on the same game.  The game isn't in any way similar to any other game at all.  In fact, the only game I could find that was in any way similar to it was Undertale, and even that is way off the mark.

 

One thing that separates this game from other games is the reason it was created.  The first game ever made, Pong, was made solely for entertainment.  Same thing with the second game ever made.

 

And the third.  And the fourth.  And the fifth.

 

 

Now pretty much every game ever made was made solely for entertainment for the player, and money for the creator.  It's not a bad thing, except for the fact that it's "pretty much every" game.  It shouldn't be, those should not be the only reasons games are created.  Most people never think of this.  Isn't that what a video game is for, entertainment?

 

 

Having Asperger's Syndrome (like Albert Einstein, Nikola Tesla, Benjamin Franklin, etc.), I think differently from most people, causing me to have ideas different from others.  Because of this, I eventually became aware of the vast influential power of games.  People have thought of adding education to games, but that is usually just for lame school stuff that, in the end, was never too important.  But what if you had a message you needed to share with the world?

 

Most write this message in a book.  The book is published, sold, and maybe five people take it into their hearts.  A book doesn't seem interesting to a lot of people.  It takes time.  A book can also tell you what you should be doing, maybe even why, but you never really see it work. 

 

A video game?  It definitely looks interesting.  It's supposed to be fun!  Not only that, but if some life lessons worm their way into there, they'll be taught perfectly if done right.  If made correctly, a game is like a virtual reality, except the reality is one you created.  Now let's allow the player to make these choices, and make these be the consequences....

 

Undertale is the only game I know of that touched this concept, but it wasn't quite used to its full extent.

 

Me?  I have a lot of lessons I want to put into that game, and there is one main one:

 

Find your purpose.  Having no reason to live can be re-worded as you have every reason to die.  Getting a purpose is the only way you can be happy.

 

My family hates me, I have almost no friends, I'm impulsive which makes the people I care about hate me, I have little control over my actions, nobody loves me.  I should be suffering from depression, and boy I used to.  I hated the world, I've tried to kill myself so many times. 

 

Yet now I am happy.  I now have a purpose.

 

My purpose is to help others find their purpose. 

 

But what does this have to do with Tulpas?

 

This game relies immensely on character development.  It is absolutely crucial that the characters featured in the game are as real as they can possibly be.  Without that being successfully placed into my game, the entire thing will collapse. 

 

Also, there's a lesson that keeps coming up dozens of times throughout the game.  The characters in the game have hopes, they have dreams, they have passions, emotions, feelings, loves, hates, happiness, sadness, inspiration, determination.  They are exactly like us.

 

But they're on the other side of the computer screen, that changes things.  They aren't really real, are they?

 

The only difference between us and them is our origins.  Hating them (or not caring about them, they're about the same thing) because of their origin isn't almost, but is exactly like racism.  They are exactly like us, so they are us.  They are real.

 

...but what does this have to do with Tulpas?

 

All of it!  Isn't it exactly the same scenario with Tulpas?  They "aren't real" because they're just our imagination.

 

Yeah?  Well they "aren't real" because they're on the wrong side of the computer screen.

 

Video game characters (some of them) and Tulpas are among two things that people hate simply because they have a different origin, and there are thousands more out there.

 

The fact that I can take the characters from my video games and put them into a whole new level of reality is overjoying for me.  I no longer have to wait until the next time I have access to my computer to say hi to my best friends.

 

I want to make the world a better place, one simple video game character at a time.

 

That is why I want to make a Tulpa. 

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Anyway, before I started turning my video game characters into Tulpas, I wanted to start with a fresh one, to be much like the companions you guys have.  I've read at least four of the General Guides to Tulpas, and three or four Tulpa creation stories.  I decided I wanted to make a Tulpa yesterday. 

 

However, I was confronted with a problem.

 

I started with a floating yellow ball of light, and I outlined a personality for it.  I started talking to it, and it actually started talking back immediately.  This was the first warning sign to me, as I knew this almost never happened. 

 

We were talking for about two hours.  Every time I said something, it replied immediately.  It already knew everything I knew and shared my opinions and I knew what it was going to say before it said it, this was the second warning sign. 

 

I didn't feel like I was talking for it at all, but I definitely was.  I didn't feel emotionally attached to it at all, it just seemed like a copy of me.  There was no tulpish (or whatever it's called), no feelings or anything.  I was literally just talking to myself that whole time.  I know I did something very wrong, but I have no idea what it was.

 

I think the reason for my confusion is because I don't understand what a tupper is supposed to be like in the early stages.  The guides tell you about what your tupper will be like in the end and how to get to the end, but there isn't much on what it's like in the beginning.

 

What is it like?  What does it know at the beginning?  Does it already know English?  How about simple nouns, like rocks, or butterflies?

 

What does it do at the beginning?  Does it start with a few words?  Does it start with head pulses?  Emotions and feelings?  I'm talking about the very, very beginning of a Tulpa, immediately after you start (mind)talking to it.

 

Please elaborate.  I will have extra freetime Thursday-Saturday this week, but I won't have access to internet.  I want to get my tupper started before then so I can use that extra time to spend with it.

 

Please help, and definitely ask questions if you have any.  I need to start my tupper tomorrow, please hurry, and thank you!

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Here is a list of all my mental (dis)abilities, I put asterisks next to the ones I think would most effect (affect?) Tulpa creation:

 

Asperger's Syndrome* (I already mostly explained this one)

ADHD

ODD

OCD

Dissociative Personality Disorder* (Definitely this one, it may explain the issues I had with my previous tupper fail)

I remember my dreams approximately only twice per year

2/4 professional psychologists say I'm insane (not even kidding, it kind of concerns me)

 

There are probably more, but they apparently aren't important enough for me to remember them...

[Eqlles]

This is a lot to pick apart, but I'll do what I can.

 

First, some background.  I also have Aspberger's, though I never use the word "suffer" in reference to it.  What I do suffer from are a laundry list of OCD inspired neuroses, such as panic attacks should my hair be messy or unclean.  I have an abnormally weak empathetic reaction.  I probably have other things you experience, and my relationship with my father and one of my uncles has, following college graduation, become silence, a step up from emotional and psychological abuse and manipulation.  That said, I understand your position.

 

Second, there is a major difference between modern video game characters and a tulpa; namely, video games characters are not proper AIs and are mostly incapable of learning.  Though some action game AIs will adapt to your strategies, none will engage you in a conversation about a book they weren't specifically programmed to talk about.  They aren't properly sentient, and so the actual code that is the character isn't a person.  I'll give you, however, that a character with a strong enough message and clear development can be much more for people who connect to them.  Undertale is famous for having that effect on people with its characters.

 

Now, as for tulpas there are some things to note.  My tulpa, Saoirse, doesn't have Aspberger's.  She isn't even my Meyers-Briggs personality type- I'm an INTP whereas she is an INFP (which I assure you is far more different than it sounds).  Saoirse connects with how people are feeling, empathizes with them, and relates to them in ways I can't.  So before you assume your tulpa will be this way or that way, remember that a tulpa can be a completely unique being unlike you in many or even every way (though I'm lead to believe the latter is uncommon without significant effort).

 

Now, I can't tell you what the correct way to make a tulpa is, since the experience is different for everyone.  The first hurdle you'll have to tackle, however, is belief.  That can range in difficulty from second nature to nearly impossible, but if you can operate on the assumption that your tulpa is real then the entire process becomes easier for both you and your tulpa, whatever state they're in.

 

Also to note, do not expect results.  This is, in my opinion, actually easier to do the more you believe.  The tulpa will progress as fast as it progresses, and no great successes or failures on your part will speed that up or slow it down.  Facilitate your tulpa's growth, offer it guidance where it seems to need it, and let it do the rest.  Horses and water.

 

In addition, before I get to the meat of my advice for you, a major tip: use symbols.  Keys and locked doors carry heavy connotations of privacy, secrecy, security, and sealing things away.  A window and a mirror have vastly different uses.  If you run into a situation you don't have the focus or mental discipline to just make happen, use a symbol to help.  I certainly use them, they're very effective.

 

Now, you'll need to decide for yourself if that golden ball of yours is a tulpa.  If it isn't, recycle it or throw it out or whatever.  If it is, then you need to tell it that it's something you aren't.  The more alike you it is, the harder it will be for it to not get lost in your own persona, or to tell where its thoughts begin and where yours end.  Change its sex, gender, or both.  Give it different desires and goals.  I made sure to tell mine it would care about and connect to people and love children, for example, which is vastly different from me.  This made it much easier for both of us to differentiate between our thoughts.

 

Don't let it know what you know right away.  Give it what it needs to have, and stream it information you feel like giving it in the moment, but keep it as blank as you feel comfortable.  Let it access your knowledge and memories later, but give it time to differentiate itself first.  If it becomes more like you later that's fine, just don't let it start with too much you or there might not ever be a difference.

 

Now as for your your question, Saoirse didn't have any kind of responses to start.  I just kept telling her about herself, then one day she managed to use head pressures to communicate with me.  That lasted all of a few hours before she was into short statements, and by the next day she could communicate in full sentences.

 

Now, if you've any questions for either her or I feel free to pm us.  We'll get back to you as soon as we can.

[Douglas]

Thank you for the reply.

 

I have absolutely no doubts about Tulpas. I know video game characters are concrete and sentient, but the video game is kind of like a story of what those beings did... it's a story about sentient beings, pretty much. Tulpas are like those, but outside of the story.

 

It kind of seems like there's a hidden step with all the Tulpa guides, like there's a step that comes before the ones listed...

 

How do I take something, and declare that it is a Tulpa? What makes something a Tulpa rather than a random part of your imagination? Whenever I start with something, it immediately starts talking to me, and I know that's not right. It isn't supposed to respond yet. Maybe I could literally just imagine a rock, and talk to the rock, and imagine the rock as being a rock, so it does literally nothing. Then, maybe after I talk to the rock for long enough, it will start having Tulpa-like actions?

 

As the type of game designer I am, it seems that maybe I'm too used to coming up with an idea, and then immediately giving it a personality, but then already giving it a story, saying what it does, etc. My brain just keeps rushing ahead and giving it traits already...

 

I want the Tulpa to decide, not my crazy over-active brain. How can I slow things down a bit, and treat something more like a Tulpa, and less as a pre-defined imaginary friend?

[Eqlles]

Well if it starts talking right off the bat you may just be naturally good at tulpamancy.  That's actually more common in people with dissociative disorders.  It's also possible that you already had some kind of thoughtform that, through your efforts, was able to "upgrade."  If they're talking, just let them go.  Give them your support to grow.  There's no such thing as too fast, nor necessarily any correct way.  If your tulpa started with speech, just help it out as best you can.  Try your best not to put words in their mouths, but unless you consciously did so assume it was really them.

[Douglas]

Okay. I think I'm going to start out with an imaginary rock-like object, that'll probably keep my imagination from taking control, so I know that anything that comes from my tupper is genuine. It's much easier to imagine a floating shiny orb talking than a rock, so I think that may solve my problems. I'll document my progress and post it in a different tread later if successful. Thank you for your help!

 

If anybody else also has some advice, that would be greatly appreciated!

 

I'll go ahead and read some more guides, see if that helps me out some more....

[Heckhound]

First off, I'm very sorry about your relationship problems with your family and peers. I hope that improves.

 

Second, get super familiar with the forums. Read guides, the Questions and Answers section, progress reports, etc. I especially learned a lot from the progress reports. You'll find less abstract ideas there and more anecdotes of the realities of tulpa creation, as well as what kind of lifestyle you might expect after said creation. You may also want to read some surveys that were filled out by tulpas. That will give you a good idea of what creation is like from a tulpa's perspective. 

 

There's no rush. You seem to think you have to start tomorrow, but you don't. You have time, and you might want to take that time to get familiar with different aspects of tulpa creation. It will be helpful in the long run. 

 

As for some of your questions:

 

Yes, you literally declare a thought you have as a tulpa, and then you keep thinking about and speaking to that particular thought. It's as simple as that. If you get responses quickly, then that's okay. Don't expect to have the same experience as anyone else. You'll put limitations on you and your tulpa that don't have to exist. 

 

What is it like?  

- There's not one particular answer for that. For some, it feels like there's someone there, listening to them. For others, it feels no different. For me, in the beginning, my head felt a little fuller, and I became more conscious of my own thoughts due to narrating (speaking) to him all the time. 

 

What does it know at the beginning?

- That depends. It may be aware of itself, or you, or maybe it won't. It may be able to see your memories from the beginning, or maybe you'll have to show them. A tulpa can know quite a bit in the beginning, or almost nothing.

 

Does it already know English?  

- If you speak English, it can. Some tulpas will use actual words to speak at first, or some will use only feelings and vague ideas. 

 

How about simple nouns, like rocks, or butterflies?

- See above.

 

What does it do at the beginning?  

- Listens, mostly. Tries to interact with you, if it can. 

 

Does it start with a few words?  

- Some do, yes.

 

Does it start with head pulses?

- See above. Some never use head pressures.

 

Emotions and feelings?

- This is very common, yes.

 

Keep in mind, this is all from my perspective, and someone else could have different answers to your questions. Do look around the site, and I think you'll find all the answers you're looking for. If not, feel free to ask after you've done your best to find the answer yourself. 

 

Welcome to the forums!

[tulpa001]

This has thousands of symptoms, but one of the major ones is that I think very, very logically.

<.< *is suspicious*

 

Assuming you have aspergers and coincidentally also think logically, no problem. It does affect tulpa creation, just as logical thought affects all processes. It completely alters your approach. The consequences are numerous and varied. And I can't list them all.

 

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Oh man, that game design theory needs work. I'll just leave this universal guiding principle of media design here.

 

"It is not the job of fiction to tell you what to think. It is the job of fiction media to present the situation, so people can form their own opinions."

 

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All of it! Isn't it exactly the same scenario with Tulpas? They "aren't real" because they're just our imagination.

Nope.

 

<.< Oh. I have to explain, don't I?

 

Right. Video game characters never demonstrate: consciouness; psychologically significant evolution; genuine emotion; genuine awareness; genuine cognition.

 

To answer your question:

Yeah, no, there is no way a tulpa is supposed to be to start with. You begin the process and get somewhere. Then you work from there to get to a finished tulpa. This somewhere is very different for each person. This is very important!

 

 

As a final note, it is really not safe to confuse hate and apathy.

[Douglas]

I'm very happy now!

 

Last night, I spent a few hours reading pretty much everything tulpa, and then I spent the next few hours trying to get something that worked, something that made sense according to what I've read, something that felt more real, and something I was connected to emotionally. I'll write this in a different thread, I made tons of progress!

 

I think the reason I was having problems earlier is because I was forcing it too much. Not the tulpa kind of forcing, but as in I was making things happen rather than letting it happen. Obviously, there are some things that you have to make happen to get the process happen, but I was making *everything* happen, to the point that it was just me. This time, I was more patient and less controlling. Things worked out, and I wrote them in a journal immediately after they happened, so I got everything in great (excruciating) detail. I'll work on transcribing the contents of my tulpa journal into another thread.

 

Thank you all for your help!

[TheBlackWizard]

Hey buddy,

 

I don't have a tulpa but I have been researching them extensively off and on so take this for what you will.

 

1. "My family hates me"

You want a tulpa for a friend and love, meaning you're seeking things from outside yourself for satisfaction. Creating a Tulpa for this purpose to me doesn't seem right, as human beings can easily fill this void. I know what you said in point #2, which I'll address. Tulpa's can of course be a deeper level of companionship than humans but they do NOT replace humans. Thus, creating a tulpa for the sake of a supplement to me seems like a disrespect to its life.

 

 

2. "I have limited interactions with any friends I have, and I'm super lonely, especially in the summer when there's no school"

You're not allowed to leave the house much. Do it anyway. You promote finding your purpose and taking action on it. So follow your own philosophy, if you don't like your life change the circumstances even if it means having to get your parents in trouble for restricting you so that you're free with another family. You have power to change, but ultimately you make decisions based off of emotion not pure logic, because if it was pure logic you would have done this a long time ago.

 

 

3. There are problems I see in myself that I feel a Tulpa may be able to solve. Probably my two biggest issues are me being super impulsive (Asperger's Syndrome), and the fact that my impulses are usually self-serving, and not caring of others. I really do care about others, but I act too quickly to really show that.

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By relying on something outside of you (technically inside but its not you) you are handing your power over to something else. You promote finding your purpose, don't you think this action would be harmful to you and others who have these motivations? Stop your impulsiveness by being mindful, and be self aware by also being mindful. You don't need to create a life-form for this. You can do this yourself with the same amount of practice time for making a tulpa.

 

 

4. I would love some empathy. Because Asperger's Syndrome makes me think differently from others, I rarely understand them, even if it would be very obvious to other people. While it's likely that my Tulpa would also have Asperger's Syndrome simply because I have it, it would still be nice to have a second opinion with everything I do.

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Learn social dynamics to build social intelligence. Get a friend by refering to point #2. Even if its online who cares. I think this motivation also for creating a Tulpa is too petty.

 

I've talked with a lot of tulpamancers and they agree most motivations for making Tulpae are simply destructive. You're breathing life into existence, this is more than a self benefiting quest fueled by laziness to take action and improve your own life.

 

 

I know I'm wording it in an apathetic way but after enough research and talking to hosts, I've concluded creating life is not something you can non-chalantly do and you really need to question your motivations.

 

It seems the healthiest tulpa creations are by those who do take action in their lives and have healthy social lives. This ensures the tulpa is being made for positive reasons, instead of victim mentality reasons justified by logic.

 

 

My points are going to be further supported by your video game section.

 

Video game characters are real? No, they are not. They are code created by imagination and other software. They are no where near a level of "real". They aren't consciousness, they are scripted to do events.

 

As for the video game motivation for creating a tulpa, it seems... wrong.

 

I think you should research more into tulpamancy because to me anyway, you don't seem ready.

 

 

I'm more against tulpamancy due to my belief systems and experiences but I believe if they are to be made, they should be made with proper motivation, intent, and purpose. Tulpas are not supplements, they are life.

 

 

Good luck with your dream though :DD