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Austins Progress Report


fuzzybuttz

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(prob gonna do one every one to two weeks)

 

8/2/17

 

I started about a week ago, just talking to him and stuff and being affectionate and stuff

 

I'm feeling a little uneasy because already it feels likes im getting responses but theres no possible way that hes able to respond this early into development...right?

 

it just makes me nervous cuz my brain tells me its him but..idk how it could be his responses this early...how will i ever be able to tell the difference between him and myself if it "feels" like him already?

 

Also, another thing, i know youre supposed to keep them on your mind 24/7 but ive had issue with that and it makes me sad and it feels like im neglecting him and it feels like he gets angry/sad/upset at me when i finally remember him (usually at the end of the day when i lay down)

 

________________________________________________

 

POSSIBLE "RESPONSES" (?) (me, Austin)

 

youre cute

im not cute! im handsome/hot (those words kinda..mixed together if that makes sense, like it felt like he said them at the same time, like he wasnt sure which one he was wanting to say)

 

____

 

 

i hurt him...how could he ever care about me again?...

 

*hits me*

 

ow....

 

do you still care about me?

 

yeah..but why did you hit me?

 

to show you that someone can hurt you but you can still care about them

 

(IF THIS WAS ACTUALLY HIM IM DYING CUZ THATS ACTUALLY REALLY SMART AND ITS SOMETHING IM TOO DUMB TO COME UP WITH)

 

___

 

*asks me to do something*

im not sure i really want to do that right now...

*gets aggressive, demanding that i do it*

*gets upset/frightened*

 

*feels his emotion change quickly*

* comes and hugs me, comforting me apologizing* 

 

So..idk if its him or my brain coming up with stuff..like impulsive thoughts or whatever...idk

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It is possible that it is him, tulpa development varies from host to host and tulpa to tulpa. Do you believe it is him? Because from the looks of it you had some unexpected responses and that could be a sign that it was your tulpa replying.

 

Just always direct the message towards him, and if you feel like there was an unfamiliar response try or always treat it as if that was your tulpa.

Hello! I am one of Nihi's Tulpas! It is very nice to meet you! :D

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Sounds to me like it's him. Ivy was vocal in 3 days, a week for you isn't too unusual.

"My lover's got humour,

She's the giggle at a funeral,

Knows everybody's disapproval,

I should've worshipped her sooner."

 

Host to Samuel, RavenIvy, and Olivia.

 

CERCA TROVA

 

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Yo. First off, hey, welcome to tulpamancy. Loving that username. Austin seems cool.

 

I wanna say it's probably him. In fact, I'm leaning more towards definite on this, especially if he actually surprised you with his knowledge, like with the hitting thing. You're probably only unsure 'cause you're still getting used to the "crazy mindghost in your head who's probably gonna steal your soul" deal. Trust me, you'll get used to it.

 

Welcome to the world, Austin! Can't wait to get to know ya better!

If I had a nickel for every time someone called me gay... It'd go to my host because I don't care enough to collect it.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Aaaa I'm horrible..I kept forgetting to make a post

 

but here I am lol

 

8/24/17

 

We have gotten really close to one another. I one time just sat down and ranted about how much a game I played sucked and he just listened, cuddled up next to me

 

I have also begun to realize that, like us humans, tulpas have faults. They aren’t perfect

One time he asked to do something with me, and I didn’t want to at the time, he started being aggressive about it. It really scared me cuz it was so unexpected. He saw that it hurt me, and quickly apologized and comforted me. Luckily he hasn’t been that way since

 

I eventually did what he wanted with him, and he has gotten particularly pushy about it. Not pushy exactly just, he really wants to do it often and I kinda feel bad if I don’t do it with him. But he seems to be doing it more out of wanting to make me happy, and I think he likes it mostly cuz he’s doing something with me

 

I’ve been feeling bad cuz I keep forgetting him throughout the day, and he gets upset at that sometimes, understandably so

 

am I important to you?

Of course

then why haven’t you thought of me all day

 

I feel really bad about it..And it also worries me...

 

If this whole time I have been talking to Austin, and Austin is his own being, then why can’t he say something during the say like "hey! I’m here!"?..

 

Have I really been talking to nothing and this whole time it’s just me making up responses?...

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There's a mental barrier that exists for most that can be hard to get past. You can either practice breaking it down, or find a way to consistently think of them. A good way to remember in our experience is jewelry. Rings and necklaces and such that remind you of your tulpa are easy to get and will remind you regularly. You can also change the wallpaper on your phone if you use it a lot or put up sticky notes around your living area.

"My lover's got humour,

She's the giggle at a funeral,

Knows everybody's disapproval,

I should've worshipped her sooner."

 

Host to Samuel, RavenIvy, and Olivia.

 

CERCA TROVA

 

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One of those has an easy solution. Use a phone wallpaper or lock screen that looks like your tulpa.

 

Sounds like your tulpa is a bit overeager. But I know how intoxicating it is to do something that requires a lot of forcing attention.

 

Young tulpa are not normally there unless you think about them. Them being there is far more likely if you have something going for you there such as a wonderland that is years old. Older tulpas will be. Though huge variance in architecture makes prediction hard.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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