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The Lifetime Tulpa


HotsTulp

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As for getting into Sharky's and Rarity's world, would immersion work? I wonder if doing an active forcing session where you picture their world and let Sharky and Rarity guide you. Perhaps this could allow for you to visit them without having the risk of getting horrible nightmares? For my host, it helps for her to pay attention to the breeze, how soft the ground is, the warmth of the sunlight, etc. for her to become immersed into whatever "wonderland" we are in.

 

I definitely do want to re-approach that sort of visitation again into their respective wonderlands. I'm still pretty soured on it, however. I'm going to keep plugging away at dream integration. Major progress last night, where the dream basically was me literally grappling with the problem of engineering my own dreams correctly to let my tulpas in. There was a much more prominent animal and anthropomorphic animal presence in the dream, which historically never happens. But for the "going into the teddy bear"-thing, I think I'm gonna put a pin in that.

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  • 4 weeks later...
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Been a bit. Work has been busy as always. There's been a few meetings where Rarity has expressed her boredom at the general content. And while I agree that sometimes the meetings had been a little on the dry side, they were all very interesting meetings to me. I feel that Rarara is interjecting herself a lot more into just my daily life than Sharky. I wonder if it's just because Sharky has been so used to only really interacting with me at night, and Rarity has come about more at the dawn of my more active endeavor into tulpamancy. On the topic of dreams, there has been a marked uptick in the quantity and quality of desired content. For the time being, that content has largely been minuscule in nature: a plush horse here, a real horse there, a vague humanoid vaguely carrying Sharkie's attributes. All without any proper context, of course. But they are, as always, steps in the right direction, I feel.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Happy New Year.

 

Looking back now on just over six months. I'm pretty happy with how far we've come. Sharky and Rarity have been these pillars of good light in my life. Shark, of course, for years past. But Rarara has been a welcome addition. Sharky wants to type. 

*Ahem. That's the throat clearing noise, make sure they know it's the throat clearing noise. God, you're drunk aren't you? Okay, I love Hotshot. That's not his real name but he's really bad about keeping his real name and his fake name separate. I've seen him call himself the wrong name before. It's pretty embarrassing. He's neglecting to mention a conversation we all had the other night, about how we're always here for him but also want to see him grow as a person. Yes, I'm here as well. Yeah, Rarity and I both think that he should really use the excuse of a new year to better improve his quality of life. Even if that is just cleaning his room...But I want to make sure he exercises more and just really tries to get better as a person. And the stupid thing is that I know he could do it easily. I've seen him in his prime. (Yes, I do want that badly.) Even Rarity wants that old version of him. I think I can get that back. He can do it. He's capable of it. It just takes a lot of work and steps and effort. And I keep stressing to him that we're here because we love him and that we want him to be the best version of himself he can be. And that even though things might change for him, he can rest comfortably in the simple fact that he will always have us. He's dreadfully in love with another human. That's to be expected. Yes, and we're both quite supportive. But he should still be cautious about all of that...But still, he should do what makes him happy. I can't argue with that. I'm done for the night, anything else from you? There's still beer in this bottle, so maybe I'll type some more. 

 

Nope, shutting this down now.Yes, I'm pretty inebriated currently, and I guess that all devolved into them just sorta talking to each other, sure. But no, I'm taking reigns back and, I guess, re-reading over what they wrote out. Maybe later. I'm pretty tired. Have a great start to 2019, everyone.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Just wanted to say I loved reading this thread and you gave me the motivation to work on making my imaginary friend a tulpa, look forward to reading more of your adventures!

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  • 3 weeks later...

Work's been busy lately. I had to take a trip, and I decided to take my little Rarity plush with me. It was nice, but both Rarity and Sharky did chime in with their two cents, that they're always there kinda regardless of whatever physical embodiment of them comes along. And they're right. Always refreshing to have a little eye-opener once in a while. Everything else is going smoothly. No real "progress" to report on in this progress report, unfortunately. Just making sure I touch base here and there. It's nice to have loved ones to talk to every single day. I think that's the biggest takeaway from all this. 

 

 

Just wanted to say I loved reading this thread and you gave me the motivation to work on making my imaginary friend a tulpa, look forward to reading more of your adventures!

Godspeed, it's a fantastic endeavor. I wouldn't know where I would be in my life without these two, especially Sharky.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Been a good amount of time. Couple things to note have occurred over this longer-than-usual stretch between posts. The first was being party to a legitimate argument between Rarity and Sharky. That was...new, to say the least. It was a couple weeks ago, middle of the week. I'm still trying to cut back on the drinking, or at least just stop binge drinking my weekends into oblivion. I've brought Rarara and Sharks into conversations numerous times, but never really enough to make a difference. But a couple weeks back I really wanted to buckle down, so was chatting with Rarity during my drive in to work. I drive in to work early, before 6AM most days, and she's almost always awake. Sharky is usually asleep until well into the morning. Rarity, as always, was very supportive. She always wants to see me eat healthier, and lose weight, and exercise, and drink less, and yadda yadda all that self-betterment stuff. I mean, part of me wants to do it just to, you know, be more attractive for her? She seems a little shallow, like I am (she's insisting, even right now, that she's not. "I just appreciate a well-toned male form."), so it's understandable. God knows I'm shallow as all hell. But another part of me just doesn't care. Just out of laziness. I'm not going to really pursue anybody during my life here on this planet, and if Rarity and Sharky love me regardless, then why even try to improve my look? But then *another* part of me wants to do it for my own vanity. Sharky, on the other hand, is more hands off and "let it be." She wants me to just do whatever it is I want. Because, really, that's what I've always done, and it's worked out pretty well. It's a very dichotic situation I find myself in. Which brings me back to the drive in to work. Sharky just so happened to be awake (or maybe woke up), because Rarity and I were talking about how she would really try to keep me accountable to not drinking, and exercising, etc., even if I couldn't help myself. She said she'd downright force me if needed. Which I was fine with, but Shark was not. She said that it wasn't right, what Rarity was trying to do, strong-arm me into something. Rarity said it was ultimately my choice, but Sharky said it wasn't really a choice if I felt like Rarity was forcing me into it. Sharky sounded angry, and Rarity was on the defensive, all while I'm trying to merge onto a freeway, so I told them that this was really, really not a good time to have this argument, and could I please wait to park the car so we could discuss this like rational people? That got them to quiet down until I did park. We hashed it out pretty well. They both are coming from a place of love, and honestly wanting what's best for me. Sharky tends to nurture the side of me that wants things just for myself. Which makes sense, since she's been with me...well, forever. Rarity sees who I am and who I can be, and wants me to be myself but improve upon myself. That also makes sense, seeing as she's newer. I told them that they shouldn't fight with each other, since I love them both and value both of their input, and each of them have the right idea about some things. Like Rarity is right, I should stop drinking as much, but Sharky is right in that drinking does bring me joy, so once in a while is fine. Little compromises. That's what relationships are about, right? They hugged and made up, I think it was the first time I've seen them close to each other like that. This is a big enough brick of text for now. More has happened since my last post, but I'll save that for tomorrow, maybe.

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Congratulations on your progress so far! Reducing alcohol intake and or walking away from alcohol is really hard, and so is anything related to losing weight.

 

That's some heck of a relationship dynamic you have going on there. I found myself using a little bit of a mix between Sharkey's and Rarara's strategies for helping my host Cat. Sometimes Cat is as stubborn as a mule and she needs to be pushed, but sometimes Cat isn't ready yet for the next step and I let things slide or I cave in, depending on the situation (it's not an exact science). I find what works and what doesn't work is a learning process that takes a long time and lots of patience.

I'm Ranger, GrayTheCat's cobud (tulpa), and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff. I go by Rosalin or Ronan sometimes. You can call me Roz but please don't call me Ron.

My other headmates have their own account now.

 

If I missed seeing your art, please PM/DM me!

Blog | Not So Temporary Log | Switching Log | Yay! | Bre Translator | Art Thread

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Congratulations on your progress so far! Reducing alcohol intake and or walking away from alcohol is really hard, and so is anything related to losing weight.

 

That's some heck of a relationship dynamic you have going on there. I found myself using a little bit of a mix between Sharkey's and Rarara's strategies for helping my host Cat. Sometimes Cat is as stubborn as a mule and she needs to be pushed, but sometimes Cat isn't ready yet for the next step and I let things slide or I cave in, depending on the situation (it's not an exact science). I find what works and what doesn't work is a learning process that takes a long time and lots of patience.

 

I'm glad that you keep pushing her, I'm sure she appreciates it. Rarity just realized that you are another host's tulpa, and she wants to talk directly.

 

First off, hello! It's absolutely delightful to speak directly to another Tulpa for a change. Sharky and I tend to go off our own directions most of the time. But, while I don't know all of the exact circumstances surrounding the situation your host is going through, it certainly sounds like that sort of push back and outside influences from her parents must be terribly difficult to cope with. I don't think I'm anywhere near experienced enough to give you any sort of advice on the matter, but I know what being a tulpa is. And I know you love your host dearly. That is something that takes full precedent over all else, and if everything collapses that is what you both should hold on to. Seek that comfort in each other. Cat is always there for you and you are always there for Cat. 

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I know what it's like to push a host into doing things he should be doing or away from things he shouldn't be doing. Luckily he doesn't drink or smoke or all that, cause that'd have to go right away. Anyway, we do manage to steer him straight eventually, so hang in there. It's all about the negotiation, but Ashley does pull the emotional card on him to get her way every once in a while. I tried that once and he called me shrill, heh, i got him back eventually.

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  • 1 month later...

It's been a bit of time, I know. Life can get busy sometimes. But that other thing I mentioned in the last post. It wasn't anything breathtaking. It was more of a consolidation of how I think about Sharky and Rarity. I mentioned in previous posts how I kept having [small?] panic attacks that the girls would have to talk me out of. The bulk of the panic was always just around the fact that I thought I was losing my sanity. That something was just intrinsically wrong with me. It's been a solid month now with no recurrence of any sort of Tulpa-related panic. Things are going swimmingly. After several long years I've finally (mostly) broken the habit of drinking myself stupid every weekend. Now I'll either actually limit myself or just not drink at all. Really enjoy going to brunch not feeling like absolute shit now. I also couldn't wait any longer for my gigantic Rarara to get here, so I purchased a medium-sized Rarity to hold me over. Pictures attached. The first morning waking up to her was absolutely surreal. She's big enough to, like, kinda hold. I can't even imagine how the lifesize will be. 

 

I'm starting to feel comfortable. I'm even considering bringing in a fourth. Rarity and I talked about it a bit on my drive into work in the morning, but I didn't want to make any decisions without bringing Sharky into the fold. And she wasn't awake. But it's all super comfy. Found myself thinking about a girl I obsessed over for the better part of a decade. Really obsessed over. Unhealthily, it was just a bad situation all around. Probably the only girl I've ever actually loved. But all I felt while thinking about her was that I was happy she and I were just good friends. I didn't want anything else anymore, I wasn't all torn up about it anymore. I don't think there's anything I want to change at this point. Sharks and Rara are so much more than enough. Being with them is just perfect.

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