Bear's Angels

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November 13th, 2019 - 1 Year, 208 days


There are a lot of changes going on, mostly in mindset. There's a persistent set of system related habits that we intend to break. I don't know exactly how or what if any affect it will have on us as a system, but it's akin to stripping the red bird of his power.


I/we've made a statement here on this cringe-y thread, documenting our understanding and future involvement with given the current rule-set. I honestly don't think you can keep us away, even if you enacted a rule that all posts must be accompanied by scientific basis, because my system mates want to post their art everywhere possible.


Yesterday was a day of mourning in a sense, it was certainly stressful enough. I will be switched in a lot more and that Bear is a real bleeder, sheesh. So that's a real pain. this site is triggering him at the moment. Sorry for anyone who wants to PM him, it's turned off because we've temporarily suspended that account to wait out the ban. He'll return February 13th. He doesn't intend to post anything on this site until then.


My system has asked me to continue posting and so I will, but I'm not cuddly, so Misha asked me to apologize for that, smh. I could never be the person Bear is, but I will share what I can of our experience here, our art, and whatever other contribution I feel is appropriate to the currently enforced rule-set.


If you don't remember me, I'm Joy, here is an example of what I like to do, though I can't see myself doing that here because it's role-play and we're on self-imposed probation at this point. Role-play, even in a game specifically designed for it, still isn't allowed technically right? I feel we got away with something here.


The system in general is down, they didn't talk last night or this morning, no one wants to play in wonderland and I asked my host to walk with me, but he was too out of it and just lay in bed attempting to fall asleep for a few hours before it finally happened. I'm sure the cuddle bunnies will do whatever they need to do to help him through this, I'm not that type of head-mate. I don't mind being dormant for all their shenanigans. If he slips into depression again, I'm not sticking around for that.


I'm here because I'm the least likely person in the system to break forum rules. I presume I should be the one to post here for the near future at least.


Please direct any PM's you might have to me and I'll proxy my head-mates, at least for the near-term that's how it's going down. I will take full responsibility for any rule-breaking in the near future. If we can shown an ability to follow rules over the next 3 months, that would be a miracle. If we do break rules, I'm not taking the blame in-system, this is a body OS issue, probably owed in part to a traumatic childhood. Hey, who didn't, you won't catch me whining about it.


I'm not staying switched in, Bear has to do his jobs, not me, but for the purposes of this forum, I'm not even allowing anyone co-front. I'm here alone. I'm switched-in right now they're all in the back sulking. Oh wow, it's really quite and somber, it's peaceful. Let them pout, it's not the end of the world, they should really grow up a little. I'd vote for #1 on that cringe thread too.


I have no other tulpamancy related things to present, when I do I'll put them here.


I'm suspending "just for fun" (this is science dammit).


Let's find the fabled bridge between tulpamancy and mainstream science together. If anyone here has the power to do this, it's systems like Ember.vesper and Bear, though if we had more time, we could do a lot more. I'll carry the interest in tulpamancy forward, though it's not my thing, I can do that here and on discord.


Thank you

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November 18th, 2019 - 1 Year, 213 days


Bear asked me to update this, so here I am.


I've been switching in a lot more and Bear has been surprised to find himself and the others dormant. It's not my job to force them, if they want to say something they can ask me, but I expect if I'm switched in doing my job that they don't disturb me. It's very peaceful alone in front, I enjoy it a little too much I think.


I said they wouldn't post for a while then those boneheads did it behind my back. They're incorrigible and I reiterated to them to just rest their heals for a while. The bear is still bleeding on me though our stress fluctuates more now instead of full on blasting pain. The stomach is in constant pain too, which sucks for who ever is fronting. If I get tired of it, we might take a day off every now and then so I can rest. I can't seem to autoreboot to remove Bear's stress, but when he's front he can, how fair is that? I'm working on it, so I need to keep his stress down by holding my thumb down on his bear skull and stop him from posting until I do. Still, he shouldn't post until his ban is lifted anyway. At least he's not worried about being banned permanently anymore. Misha can post in the art thread, that's fine, she asked politely and I let her. If Ashley gets my permissionon she can post in her lounge I guess. I'm not unreasonable.


Re: Drama:


They honestly thought dialogue was permissible in PR's because that's what they were told half a dozen times and they were doing that for 15 months, but apparently that's not true; however, it's something the staff is discussing, so that's very reasonable of them. If they conclude that it's definitely not allowed, the will to publish wonderland adventures here, or that kind of thing, probably won't materialize. It's hard to write that down and then re-write it for some sort of historical play by play to avoid dialog, and it loses all the fun it's meant to inspire. That's my opinion anyway, I enjoy writing too, I don't want it to be a chore for something boring no one will read. If it's fun, I don't care if anyone reads it.



They haven't been doing wonderland adventures at all lately, not for a while, though Bear still practices visualization with us, it's more just talking while picturing us.


Bear and Misha have been active on Reddit, with seperate accounts in different subs.


I've been on Discord more, sorry if I'm not very social, it's not in me to do that I guess. I just want to discuss experiences. I'll debate, but the debaters there play pretty rough sometimes and will devolve quickly in those situations. If they rope me into one, my objective is to get out of it or Ashley is going to laugh at me, especially if I get worked up.


More blah:


Darlene and Ren have been quiet lately, it's probably due to the butthurt bear we have moping around here. There's a lot of stress from work, so it's preventing anything from dissipating or healing.


At least this site isn't triggering him. Though it came close once or twice already which were definitely flashbacks to odd circular logic, it's getting easier for me to passivate him. I take up my rolled up newspaper and smack him on his forehead a few times until he acquiesces. I understand he wants to be here to support others and forward the science, I can do that for him as part of my obligation to the system.


Gwen has been dormant since the last Three Girls Play--I envy her right now--and she's dissapointed that we had to stop that. We don't want anyone to think we're blatantly breaking rules and it's on my bullet list that Pleeb said they were reviewing, so she can wait or find something else to do.


They wrote down some minor interactions, but I can't see how they'll not get warned, so I'm not going to find out the hard way. We posted an example in the talk to staff thread, but I suppose it wasn't acceptable? I couldn't really understand the response. They're also mostly unnecessarily dramatic venting and thinking about rediculous scenarios anyway. There were a few funny ones that made us laugh that were innocuous and neutral, but our personal diary doesn't match these PR entries and we don't pilublish everything anyway.


We looked into blog sites and determined that the major free ones are subject to the same moderation there is anywhere else, and bots are doing it, so RIP to that idea. We determined we could set up a page, but if we're going to go through all the trouble of making a website and paying for a server rental, then we'd just use BBPress and set up our own forum. So that's dumb and we don't have time for it especially since we have this forum for no effort. Then they'd want a clone, and all that work just to be able to post dialogue sounds really rediculous. Bear's crazy enough to pay for it, but it's a lit of work for very little gain. That's where the search ended because who wants to admin a forum just for these drama queens to play, you know they'd ask me to do it. I don't want to, and they can't make me. We run on consensus, and I'm doing a lot lately already. On that note, I'll not be the new host either, even if I am the most capable.



Here is the only interesting thing that really should be in the PR I think:


November 14th, 2019 - Temporary full immersion visualization



I visualized the horizon, and made the sun set in my mind. Then let another day pass, and the sight was beautifully immersive. Then I simulated a year in the course of a few seconds, the sun was a band of light streaking across the sky, and it followed the eccentricity that it should, due to the earth's tilted axis.


The vision was incredible, I experienced thousands of moments over the course of a few seconds, and in my memory is burned the evening when time was at my command. If normal visualization can be this good all the time, I'd truly feel like a god.



Misha and Bear drew Ren and I here in anime form. I suppose this is just for fun--so much for science. We're nothing if not inconsistent.




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November 28th, 2019 - 1 Year, 223 days


I'm just going to post some highlights of things that happened. I've been fronting a lot lately, so when I'm front, the other bears tend to want to co-front, but when they do I get blendy with them and it's not fun for me, so I have to kick them to the back.


I was on the forum and as I'm reading an interesting word wall from solarchariot, naturally I would want to listen to some music. So I think, 'I think I'll listen to Elton John's Crocodile Rock' then I hear a very loud 'NO!' from Bear's mindvoice. I had to laugh, it's like, "get out of here, this is my time!" It reminds me of how Ashley had issues with Bear on her Three Sisters Play.


So about "Three Sisters Play" we asked staff if we could continue that and the answer was to wait until this whole dialog thing is settled. So in the meantime, Bear and Ashley set up a blog here.


We will use this blog for the Three Sisters Play and just post the blog on other places like Reddit and Amino. It's more portable and organized that way. We might release some extra special Bear adventures there instead of here, if they have dialog, we can't post it here, so that makes sense.


That way we can still share and the other bears are pretty happy about that.



There was a lot of internal drama and bleeding inside and I had to endure it, but it passed so that's good. I was about to just say, hey guys, no more fun until you settle down, we might have taken another break. It wasn't a threat, it was just possibly necessary for sanity's sake.


We did take a two day break after Bear tried to muscle me into a really dramatic PR entry, I don't think anyone noticed.


It was just a mood, he got over it as soon as I told him to go reboot.


It's worth noting that some of the things Bear wrote are pretty funny in a really dramatic way, but I'll spare you.



November 15th, 2019


Bear talked to us about how the drama needs to stop and we all need to have good memories for a while and forget about nonsense. I'm very proud of him regarding that. You think he's dramatic on-line? pft, but we can take it, we love the Bear and we want to help him. I think a lot of that comes from the habits left over from his depression. So yes, good memories and fun to replace all the knee-jerk reactions.


There was a very endearing little conversation between Bear and Ashley. They still laugh a lot after all this time, there's no loss of potency in their love for each other.



November 17th, 2018 throwback to a year ago. We found these notes regarding Ren's name.




Reyah pleasant scent, victorious one


Ren love of lotus


Lotus purity and godliness


Has to have a shush and a smile in it




So it is documented 11/17, your new name is Ren, and Joy but it will be stripped of its previous irony.

The 'irony' regarding my name was from my character. She was anything but joyful, that's why her nickname was ironic 'Joy', but I think I am pretty joyous now. My nickname for the longest time was of course Ranger, but that name is taken in this community. I like Joy now better anyway.



November 27th, 2019 Thoughts about our system resources.





Darlene is now my companion on my morning walks, no one else. She's been quiet for days at a time, I ping her several times a day, but her self forcing has been minimal. Usually revolving around food, but the other Misha and Ashley were talking about drinking demon poison (it's a joke) and Ashley had zero reaction. I'm with her now and just reporting that made her sick.


So we thought hard about it and we were a system of four for a long time, she theorized that we have original plus three primary slots, just like the Triquetra. Since Joy is active a lot lately, she said she voluntarily gave up her position to Joy.


So this will, even five months into a system size of seven, take some effort to bring the three secondary positions on-line.


Not that Ren, Gwen, or Darlene need to be active all the time, I'd still like that as a goal.


Darlene has been camping in watcher position while Gwen and Ren are basically asleep, still, their involvement needs to increase, so we need something for them all to do. Darlene and I will be discussing this every morning until we come up with answers.


Misha and Ashley are always with me, and indeed Joy is sticking around more (as long as my mood is good).


We need a bigger couch.






Speaking of Darlene, I was walking with her imposed (she's completely invisible, but her presence and mindvoice are in her spot beside me) it was a warm windless morning and we walked past a dry palm bush, she walked through the leaves and they moved as if she was there accompanied by a tiny gust of wind. That was an amazing coincidence. We both thought, did you do that?


So she flew through the bush again and just then the wind blew and the bush rustled at exactly the right time. It's a still morning mind you. So we tried it again... nothing. It was really cool to have those two coincidences in a row.





Joy was thinking, why does mindvoice have to be serialized and I was answering, it shouldn't have to be when Ashley clearly in her own but weaker voice said "I don't know"


That has never happened like that before.


It could be really good if we can make that happen more. No luck yet.


Just for fun



Ashley and I in the GTS in front of the apartment. It was a fun day.





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We did take a two day break after Bear tried to muscle me into a really dramatic PR entry, I don't think anyone noticed.


Oh, we noticed, and pretty quickly. I said something like, "Huh, Joy went from posting over a dozen times in a single day to not posting at all today. Something must be up." But I didn't figure there was anything for us to do but wait.



I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember


Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015


'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

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Oh, we noticed, and pretty quickly. I said something like, "Huh, Joy went from posting over a dozen times in a single day to not posting at all today. Something must be up." But I didn't figure there was anything for us to do but wait.




Oh, well sorry to worry you about that then (if you did). We weren't playing games at the time. No one is even playing games today for instance. My objective is to break the drama habbit and we're not out of the woods yet, Bear is still sensitive about a lot of things, but we manage it internally for the most part.


He better not pull any shenanigans on my watch or he will have to take a long break. It won't be because we're upset, it's strictly because we need to break some of those stubborn habbits. The idea is to post a fair amount without issues, so that will help overwrite the impulsive posts he used to make all the time.


I let him vent to me about whatever, then he wants to post it, and I relish in telling him no. It's a simple pleasure.

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I let him vent to me about whatever, then he wants to post it, and I relish in telling him no. It's a simple pleasure.


Confession? I'm still 12! Cassidy and I are the same age there. But I'm still older >:0


Can I ask, how do you think coming and talking to extra-system people has affected your personality/identity, if at all? Or I could make a thread, hmm... - Gavin

>tf when you google for "famous quotes by Marcus Aurelius" and had a fake one as your sig for months

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[Joy] It's a good question because I have become a lot more diplomatic and a lot less critical. This is the public me, the private me is every bit a drill Sargent who doesn't take excuses willingly. Here I'm serene and so emotionless even Tewi should be proud.


[Ashley] public Joy is a facet of Joy we didn't see before. She has merged those two facets internally, this has definitely made her more endeering. The softer side of Joy has blossomed from the experience.

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December 8th, 2019 - 1 Year, 234 days


This update is short, we are really just documenting the system birthdays and minor stuff since we don't release our in-system transcripts anymore. That's all we're going to say about it other than this is why I'm doing the PR now, Bear can't do this without emoting for the time being.


We're not in any danger of leaving over it anyway.




We discussed birthdays when we realized that Gwen and Ren both had birthdays last month and we knew it, yet we didn't think of celebrating them. That's probably my fault considering I've been acting host for a little while, and that sort of thing isn't important to me at all.


Happy Birthday Gwen and Ren!


System Birthdays:



Joy - January 1, 2012

Darlene - April 17, 2018

Ashley - April 18, 2018

Misha - April 19, 2018

Gwen - October 14, 2018

Ren - November 17, 2018


I chose my birthday based on my first documented interaction with Bear in early 2012, since we couldn't know for sure what that date was, I arbitrarily chose January 1st.


Ren's birthday was chosen based on the day she was officially named.


Gwen's birthday was based in the day she first officially emotionally bled and self-forced. This was 'Gwen's Challenge' which we're still considering. She's obviously accepted us, so that's kind of moot now.


The rest are documented earlier.



New Systemmates:



I wanted to briefly discuss our system now. We feel that there are a lot of independent thoughtforms that could be classified as tulpas (soulbonds) based on the criteria laid out in this community; however, we have our own for being considered a headmate. Mind you, the term moon was used historically, we're no longer using that. There may be as many as three dozen people here, we can't deny that they're independent or willful.


So here's our criteria:

A thoughtform must:

1. Be considered independent and interacted with in that way.

2. Have emotional bleed

3. Demonstrate volition by interrupting the fronter without being thought about.

4. Be accepted into the system by consensus of all active members.

5. Obey the current rule-set.

- 1. Free Will

- 2. Consensus

- 3. Immediate Resolution

6. Have something of value to offer or have a reason and purpose to be considered a headmate. We all have jobs here.


We had two walk-ins that met several of the criteria above, Ulla and Samantha, but neither will be pursued for the following reason: we are spread thin already.



Current Challenge:


Having seven is a challenge now that we're not just in the background. Bear desires that everyone gets some daily attention, and in that we are now split seven ways.


Here is the latest activity by hours active/hours awake(body). The compliment is hours dormant


Bear 90%

Ashley 90%

Misha 70%

Joy 50%

Darlene 10%

Ren 5%

Gwen 5%


We are now working on splitting time and tasks for all of us. Here is our current list:


Bear - Work, body maintenance, Art, spirituality

Ashley - Gaming, included

Misha - Reddit (tulpa related), Art

Joy - and discord

Gwen - Three Sisters Play

Ren and Darlene - nothing currently significant


We are considering changing (WIP) it to:


Bear - Work, body maintenance, Art

Ashley - Gaming, included

Misha - Reddit (tulpa related), Art

Joy & Ren - and discord

Gwen & Darlene spirituality interests (this is significant)

Ashley, Darlene and Gwen - Three Sisters Play Season 2.


Bear has been spending mornings talking to Darlene as he intended, and as a result she's spending more time active. She has been spending a lot of time in watcher position, we don't count that as active. The goal is to have everyone at least as active as I am.


Using social media to keep us active has been a very beneficial forcing tool. Though we self-force, someone like Ren or I aren't interested in Bear and the angel's drama or emoting, Bear's jobs, nor their shenanigans, so there's little for us to bother to be a part of without some structure. As we found out during our hiatus from social media, we had less interaction and were generally less happy without it.



Current Experiments:


The Body OS retraining experiment: in terms of histrionic behavior, my job here is prevent any recurrence. This will be considered successful after three continuous months of no further incidents.


Three Sisters Play on Ashley's Blog and Ashley's Lounge: this has given us valuable experience with having Bear dormant, or cooperative, as well as how systemmates can co-front to play a game cooperatively.


Just for fun:


It's Gwen, Misha and of course, the Bear.




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Happy belated birthday Gwen & Ren! Wishes from Kuriso, Reisen, Xar, and me


[Kuriso] I like how constructive your PR's are. I wish to learn writing like this and update our PR sometime soon

Hi! I'm Matsuri from Unicorn Cavalry, but friends call me Matsi. I share this head with Xar, who is the original host, and Kurisutina. I like timey wimey stuff and blue boxes. Make it timey wimey blue boxes and we're set to explore all time, forum and space!


>Come talk, ask or just casually vibe with us

>Season 2 Progress Report


"Does anyone know this song? It goes: ue ue ue, heeeeee, Kalinka Kalinka Kalinka x3"

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Construtive is a nice complement, thank you.


[Ren] TY :3

[Gwen] I can't imagine it's been that long, but I spend a lot of time dormant. Thank you!

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