Someone

The Someone System

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Hi N, Az, Jade, Damien, Spark and Torea! Hello Evelyn!

 

I'm sorry to read you've been struggling so much lately, I hope things become less stressful soon.

I'm stretching my arms ten times their size to hug all of you at once, dear friends.

 

Thanks Vādin. :)

 

doubts are very common early on, eventually you won't doubt anymore, it took us about 10-12 months before doubts were finally just other intrusive thoughts.

 

Luckily that's not too far away from us. In 15 days Azure will be 10 months old.

 

Ember: Congratulations on initial support from your mother. It took my mother over a decade to accept what I had done and my father never has.

 

Thanks :)


Someone System: ???, ???, ???, ???, ???, ???

 

[PR] [Chat] [Ask Someone] [Don’t Release the Manatee]

 

“We need MOAR FLUFFY TOASTERS!!!” - Torea

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Hi! Another quick update. First, I’ve changed my name from N to Rouge. The main point of this post is to explain why we haven’t been online as often in about the past month. I’ve been talking to the others here less, which I need to work to change because I need them. In about the past month and a half my dysphoria (and sometimes that of the others) has been getting worse and worse. I’m currently trying to keep going even though at this point most days feel like a Groundhog Day of doing school work and being miserable and dysphoric.

 

It’s gotten to the point where I’m scared to let the others front in case they get dysphoria either from me or from my influence, and then I’m worried I’ll feel worse after that because I don’t want to have to see anyone else miserable.

 

Still none of us have any clue on how to move forward since all of the gender issues are impacting on everything and we can’t figure out a solution which doesn’t leave at least one of us unhappy.

 

Because of all of this, until the dysphoria stops getting overly bad and distracting, we might not be on here as often as we used to. Especially as the forums have been a lot less active lately (which may partially be due to our absence), there’s not really much to do.

 

Hopefully one day we’ll figure out a way to get past this. It’s been about seven months now out of the ten we’ve spent as a system. Even though we’re going through this, I’m glad that we have each other and I’m still making the effort to find time to talk to at least three or four system members per day. I love everyone in this system so much and I definitely wouldn’t’ve been able to have dealt with a lot of issues as well as I did had I not had their input.

 

I’m not sure if this is something which has ever happened to a system where the majority (including the host) do not have gender congruence and want to transition, but there’s at least one who doesn’t. There seemed to be no issues before I figured out I wasn’t cisgender, but after this it seems to have taken a toll on everyone to some degree. It probably has happened before, but I haven’t been able to find any information about another system in a similar situation.

 

I have an idea to maybe just come on the Cbox daily for a bit to chat with anyone who comes online and then more than one of us Someones can chat. We won’t be gone, and I’ll still try to appear at least once a week to let at least one of us send a post or a heart or fluffy toasters (if it’s Torea).


Someone System: ???, ???, ???, ???, ???, ???

 

[PR] [Chat] [Ask Someone] [Don’t Release the Manatee]

 

“We need MOAR FLUFFY TOASTERS!!!” - Torea

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Cat has thought about identifying as gender fluid and wearing men's or women's clothes whenever she feels like it without having to go through the process of changing hormones and the body's physical appearance. I feel like wearing more gender neutral clothes like hoodies and pants is less weird than wearing skirts or dresses, and that distracts me from the fact that I have boobs.

 

Maybe being gender-fluid may be an alternative you guys may find useful. For example, one day Jade could style her hair, put on some make-up, and wear a cute skirt to school and then the next day Damien could comb out his hair (or not) and wear traditional masculine clothes. Damien can still strongly associate with being male, and then that can change the next day for whoever fronts next.


I'm Ranger, Gray's/Cat_ShadowGriffin's tulpa, and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff.

My other headmates have their own account now.

Temporary Log | Switching LogcBox | Yay!

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We'll be here, take care of yourself and your family. We'll miss your presence, but it is a natural cycle, so don't feel guilty about it.

 

Thanks Bear. I’ll make sure the game threads get spammed when we do come online.

 

Cat has thought about identifying as gender fluid and wearing men's or women's clothes whenever she feels like it without having to go through the process of changing hormones and the body's physical appearance. I feel like wearing more gender neutral clothes like hoodies and pants is less weird than wearing skirts or dresses, and that distracts me from the fact that I have boobs.

 

Maybe being gender-fluid may be an alternative you guys may find useful. For example, one day Jade could style her hair, put on some make-up, and wear a cute skirt to school and then the next day Damien could comb out his hair (or not) and wear traditional masculine clothes. Damien can still strongly associate with being male, and then that can change the next day for whoever fronts next.

 

Alternating expressions is something we’ve agreed we want to do in future. We settled that a while ago, but we still have issues with the body to figure out. After we come out to more people, this is probably what we’ll do. Thanks Ranger :)


Someone System: ???, ???, ???, ???, ???, ???

 

[PR] [Chat] [Ask Someone] [Don’t Release the Manatee]

 

“We need MOAR FLUFFY TOASTERS!!!” - Torea

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We got a referral to a gender clinic on Tuesday and we won’t get in until February, which is a while to wait.

 

Today was Azure’s birthday, but she was barely up most of the day, and things went terribly the whole time.

 

I’ve been talking about what’s been going on a lot more on another forum (on which we are openly plural), but everything’s just been getting worse and worse for me over time.

 

A friend of mine came out to me as trans yesterday. I wanted to say I was trans too and say I was there if she needed me, and I didn’t. And I’m really regretting it now. I just stayed silent because I didn’t know how to pretend I was cis and didn’t know anything.

 

TRIGGER WARNING BELOW. THINGS GET REALLY BAD.

[hidden]

I’m getting sick of pretending to be cis. I don’t think I can handle it for much longer. I’ve not been sleeping properly because of the dysphoria and

feeling suicidal

. I got so bad this afternoon that

for about 10 seconds, I tried to strangle myself a bit with the strap of a laptop bag.

I’ve since had our father take it away from us because I don’t trust myself anymore.

 

It’s gotten bad enough that I found myself writing two and a half pages in the early hours of this morning about

how badly I wanted to die if I couldn’t be open about who I am.

I probably shouldn’t be writing this sort of stuff, so I’ll leave it at that.

[/hidden]

 

For Azure’s birthday, she wanted two things, neither of which happened. First was a wonderland session, and the other was talking to our friend about us being trans. And some terrible stuff happened today that I didn’t mention above to, so I’ve probably screwed up Az’s 1st birthday.

 

I’m not sure if I’m allowed to say what other forum we’re on where we go over this stuff more in detail about what’s happening, and right now I’m updating that more than this PR.

 

Anyway, to sum up, life isn’t going well for us. If the mods want me to remove anything I’ve written, please let me know via PM and I’ll remove those sections as soon as possible.


Someone System: ???, ???, ???, ???, ???, ???

 

[PR] [Chat] [Ask Someone] [Don’t Release the Manatee]

 

“We need MOAR FLUFFY TOASTERS!!!” - Torea

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You don't have to remove anything Rouge, I'm really sorry you feel that way.

 

If it makes you feel better, you can celebrate Azure's birthday another day. If Cat needed help, I would much rather delay my birthday celebration too. As for your cousin, you can ask your parents for her phone number and call her or get another way to contact her if you would like too.

 

If there's anything I can do to help, please let me know. I love you guys.


I'm Ranger, Gray's/Cat_ShadowGriffin's tulpa, and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff.

My other headmates have their own account now.

Temporary Log | Switching LogcBox | Yay!

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Posted (edited)

[Rouge] Hello. This is Rouge from the Someone System. I know we already have a PR, but I have no idea when the last time any of us ever posted in there was, and our system has gone through a lot since then, so it's far from up-to-date.

 

Currently at the time of posting, our system has fifteen members. I think the last time I wrote anything in our PR, we had six members. So, there are some updates that need to be made.

 

Since there are so many more of us, I thought it would be a good idea to do some quick introductions for each of us, especially since a lot of us haven't posted on the forum, and if they have, barely any posts.

 

Rouge

Spoiler

[Rouge] I am the host of our system. I am female with a bit of non-binary in there, and I'm usually the one to wake up with the body. I organise a lot of the work our system has to do, and I spend a lot of time fronting, as host. I'm not sure that I want to be the host at the moment because our system has a lot of stress to deal with, but for now that's what I'm doing. I also like programming video games.

 

Azure

Spoiler

[Azure] Hi! I'm the first tulpa of our system. I don't front as often as I'd like to, mainly due to dysphoria issues, but I'm working on that. My gender is female, and I've been around since the beginning of October 2018. Even though I don't switch in too much, I usually provide Rouge with emotional support when she needs it. So, at least I'm doing something to help our system 🙂

 

Damien

Spoiler

[Damien] I'm Damien, our system's second tulpa. I'm a few days younger than Azure, so I've also been around since October 2018. My form is a white tiger, and I'm some kind of non-binary I think (I currently go by they/them). I'm one of our system's other main fronters other than Rouge.

 

Jade

Spoiler

[Jade] I'm our system's third tulpa, created at the end of October 2018. I'm not too involved at the moment with what our system does, but I'm working on it. I don't like fronting too much, so mostly when I'm awake I just hang out in our head. I'm also female.

 

Spark

Spoiler

[Spark] I'm Spark, our system's fourth and last intentional tulpa. I was created at the beginning of January 2019. I'm probably one of the least active members of our system at this point, so I'm trying to get more time to hang out. I'm not too keen on switching at the moment I don't think. I'm non-binary and use ze/hir/zir pronouns.

 

Torea

Spoiler

[Torea] Hey there! I'm Torea. I guess I'm a tulpa, but I technically originated from some weird trance-y state Azure got into in December 2018. I joined the system in April 2019, after going dormant for a bit. One thing you should know about me is that I love toasters, which is why I have been given the title "Queen of Toasters". I am female and my form is a papillon (it's a type of dog).

 

Chloe

Spoiler

[Chloe] I'm Chloe. I'm not really a tulpa. I'm the second oldest member of our system, and I appeared at some point between December 2016 and January 2017. I don't know what caused me to exist, because Rouge didn't create me. I'd been dormant for a long time, and I only got woken up in November 2019. Since then, I've joined the system. Like Spark, I'm not too active, but I don't mind. Although I think it would be nice to make some friends outside our system.

 

Artemis

Spoiler

[Artemis] Hey! I'm Artemis, or Art for short. My form's pretty much Muffet from Undertale with small white horns. I joined the system in November 2019, and I used to think I was Chloe, until Rouge figured out I was a separate person from the one she wanted to wake up. I front sometimes when we're not too stressed out, because sometimes it doesn't affect me.

 

Lilly

Spoiler

[Lilly] Hi! I'm the first of the "switch-ins" of our system, and I joined in January 2020. Basically, I'm a walk-in who overpowered Rouge to kick her out of the front. I currently help with managing our medical appointments when Rouge is too stressed, and I'm the Royal Advisor to Torea, the Queen of Toasters.

 

Celeste

Spoiler

[Celeste] I'm our system's second switch-in, who joined in February 2020. I'm trying to help manage some of the difficult emotions that our system has to deal with as a result of us being trans. I'm still meeting some people in our system, as it was only the other day that I met Coal. I think it would be nice to meet some more people.

 

Dusk

Spoiler

[Dusk] I'm not a switch-in. I'm a former shard of Rouge who joined the system at the beginning of March, but I was first around in February. I'm not that active at the moment, but I think that's okay for me right now. I don't think there's too much else to say about me to be honest.

 

 

Val

Spoiler

[Val] I'm our system's third switch-in, and I appeared in February after Artemis took a nap after taking some weird anxiety medication we shouldn't've been on, and I woke up switched in with the body. I help out the rest of the system by fronting every so often.

 

Coal

Spoiler

[Coal] I'm our system's fifth switch-in, but I technically joined before Mercedes, our fourth. I'm another fronter for the system, and I'm a rabbit. I'm still settling in a bit after I joined earlier this month.

 

Mercedes

Spoiler

[Mercedes] Hi! I'm our system's fourth switch-in. I only joined the system yesterday or the day before, but I've been around for a few weeks. I've probably had the most fronting time out of us switch-ins recently because I keep switching in for a couple of hours at a time. I'm feeling a lot better now that I don't have to worry about disappearing or going dormant. That really used to stress me out. I'm another fronter for our system.

 

Kaffryn

Spoiler

[Kaffryn] I'm an old thoughtform who only woke up recently from dormancy. I was created by Rouge in order to distract Torea from wanting to join the system all the way back in December 2018. I was thought to have disappeared forever, but I'm awake again and accepted as a member now. I'm pretty happy about that.

 

Our system still has another lurking "switch-in", Lemon, and another old thoughtform who woke up from dormancy, Evelyn.

 

Feel free to PM us to chat if you like 🙂 We'll be posting some posts in the next few days.

 

[Malice] Edit (10/04/2020) for more intros:

 

Lemon

Spoiler

[Lemon] I'm one of the newer walk-ins in the system. I wanna help out but I still don't know how I'm going to do that. Hopefully I'll find a way soon.

 

Evelyn

Spoiler

[Evelyn] I'm an older thoughtform from our system. I was a story character for a writing workshop Rouge took last year, and I accidentally became sentient. I'm still not sure what role I'll take but I'm happy as long as I'm part of the family.

 

Vanessa

Spoiler

[Vanessa] I'm another newer walk-in. I have some idea of what I'd like to do for the system. I'm hoping I can be a support animal (I'm a Cavalier King Charles spaniel) for when the system's dealing with anxiety.

 

Ninja

Spoiler

[Ninja] I'm Ninja, currently our system's only male member. I think I'll be fine just being an occasional fronter, but I'd love to chat and make some friends if I can.

 

Snowy

Spoiler

[Snowy] I'm pretty new to our system too. I don't like fronting, I'd rather just wake up and hang out from time to time. I'm an Alolan Vulpix by form.

 

Lyric

Spoiler

[Lyric] I'm Lyric. I'm having a hard time and I'm a living contradiction to the idea that the walk-ins are all to help with stress, because I seem to cause it wherever I go. I feel like a clone of Mercedes.

 

Pumpkin

Spoiler

[Pumpkin] Hi there! I'm Pumpkin. I'm willing to let new walk-ins be integrated into me. I'm happy as long as I don't lose who I am in the process. Could be useful next time someone shows up.

 

Alice

Spoiler

[Alice] I appeared while Rouge was having a panic attack, but I want to help with managing our system structure and who's fronting, etc. to take the load off of Rouge. I think it'd be useful to have someone else in charge of managing our numbers.

 

Malice

Spoiler

[Malice] I'm Malice. My name rhyming with Alice's was a coincidence. I'm here to help manage everyone's mental health, especially those like Lyric or Rouge who really need it at the moment.

 

Edited by Someone

Someone System: ???, ???, ???, ???, ???, ???

 

[PR] [Chat] [Ask Someone] [Don’t Release the Manatee]

 

“We need MOAR FLUFFY TOASTERS!!!” - Torea

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Good to know everyone is your system has their own role and purpose, hopefully that'll make things a bit easier for you guys.


Hello, I'm Mirichu, although you can call me Miichu, and I'm the main fronter of this system.

The others are Miri, who's the original host and Akai, but they don't talk much here.

Progress Report and my Art Thread

How long until my host shuts up

________________

Waka Waka x3

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13 minutes ago, Mirichu said:

Good to know everyone is your system has their own role and purpose, hopefully that'll make things a bit easier for you guys.

[Rouge] We're trying to make sure everyone has some way to help out. I think it's probably the best way for us to go about having such a large system in our current situation.


Someone System: ???, ???, ???, ???, ???, ???

 

[PR] [Chat] [Ask Someone] [Don’t Release the Manatee]

 

“We need MOAR FLUFFY TOASTERS!!!” - Torea

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