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Unicorn Cavalry's Journey | Season 2 currently airing!


Xarbern

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New PR update because of new stuff going on. Let's start by updating about the past incident in the last PR updates we wrote. 

 

Everything worked out in the end. No meds or therapy was needed but the incident left some marks. An example is that it's still a bit chaotic sometimes with flashbacks and other intrusive thoughts, but it's much easier to handle. 

 

 

Everything was good, till lately. I've been interacting with friends more lately and it just recently feels like we've hit a wall. It's been hard to include Matsuri  because of friends and it almost feels like we're going backwards. I've been reading posts on the forums just to end doubt but it doesn't seem like doubt is really the real problem, ish. 

 

We will take it easy until further notice. Thanks everyone for being so supportive in this community.

Hello. I'm Xar, and I'm the original host of this system.

I share this head with Matsuri and Kurisutina

 

Progress Report | Vibe with our system 

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Guest Reilyn-Alley

Please, please keep me updated and informed about you guys and what's going on in your lives.. I care, ok? PMs, Discord, spamming my PR, email, however you wanna get a hold of me.

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I've often told Ember that she can't withdraw from the world just because she wants to spend time with us. Interacting with friends is a good thing.

 

We've been very fortunate. Ember has told most of her close friends about us and now we get to spend time with some of them too. I'm sure there is plenty of prejudice out there against constructed people, but being able to interact with out-system people in-person is very valuable if it can be arranged. Do you think there might be anyone in your life you can tell?

 

-Vesper

I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

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  • 1 month later...

Quick roundup of stuff that has happened since last update.

 

New visualization technique: We can now have one of us, mainly Matsuri, visualized in more circumstances by popping up like a heads-up display from a video game. 

 

Better co-fronting: Now, we can basically cooperate like a single unit because of more freedom after we moved out. Conflicts do occur every now often but that just builds personality for us both. 

 

Example: I want to buy food out but Matsuri doesn't want that, so the one who has the best reason wins. This case maybe Matsuri wins because there's no reason to buy food out, except laziness. 

 

Dreams: We are both present in the dreams either as separate beings or spectators. Sometimes we dream like how it is in real life; one body two observers. 

 

[hidden] Life is going on pretty good now. We now live alone and we have much more time together.

Still no broadband.

 

[/hidden] 

 

Live good, everyone!

I'll be checking in as often as I can. See ya'll! 

Hello. I'm Xar, and I'm the original host of this system.

I share this head with Matsuri and Kurisutina

 

Progress Report | Vibe with our system 

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Guest Reilyn-Alley

Matsi! Xar! Good to hear everything is going fine guys!! Grats on independence! Woo!

 

Also.. Grats on continued development! I kinda wondered what had developed myself in all this time and there's stuff.. Stuff that maybe I should talk about soon and write up in my PR, not quite sure yet. Anyway.. Great seeing you guys on! Love you both!

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  • 4 months later...

Wooo! Just managed to do a really strong switch! Xar is out and i'm in. I'm writing this in excitement 6 in the morning and haven't managed to sleep yet. I don't even know what to do now because there's so many new feelings. I'm gonna try documenting step by step what happened from the beginning.

 

First of: Xar and I are normally pretty much frontstuck. Basically, always co-fronting or whatever you want to call it.

Started with me reading a bunch of guides about switching and then found some videos that I thought was really informative

Went to bed. We thought to give disassociation a try with what we've learned + tired=calm

Then poof! It just worked like that.

 

First secounds after we managed to disassociate Xar from the body, I had a loooong running feeling of deja-vu.

Then I was alone just like that. I felt weird in the head, like the head was trying to block memories. Didn't try to follow that feeling of blocked memories because I was too exited and afraid that it would do something that we would regret later. I don't know actually what that weird feeling was really but it felt like something was constantly inserting some kind of code to keep away from thinking there. Bad explaining I know. It's impossible to explain in full details.

 

I'm thinking of trying to go to bed switched and see what happens when we wake up, if I do fall asleep. Might try getting Xar back if it doesn't manage.

 

Jade/Fordaplot's 2weeks to switch series, specifically the one about disassociation which helped us to grasp.

[hidden]https://archive.org/details/2WeeksToSwitchDay1FindYourIdentityPersonalityForcingBecomeYourIdealSelfJ4bU0wyfYAo/2+Weeks+to+Switch+_+Ep+5+_+Dissociation+_+Conquer+Your+Senses+_+Choose+Your+Reality-wD506ZOAorY.mp4[/hidden]

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Woohoo! Congratulations! Bear went through all sorts of weird feelings and oddities when first switching out. It's very normal.

 

[Dashie] Yay, good going guys!

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So a short update on the going to bed thing.

 

I managed to fall asleep. I was honestly a bit sad and happy at the same time. I'm not used to being alone like this. Woke up all dizzy and perhaps really blendy. I feel much more powerful than I already was before switching and things generally feels very different for us now.

 

Still trying to learn and catch up on different feels and all

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  • 1 month later...

From Last One To Post Wins

I still find co-fronting much more fitting for us because of how flexible we can be compared to switching. I can't vocally talk to people switched in. It's like a weird anxiety hindering me. Though talking with only me and Xar around is a lot easier. I do occasionally try answering the phone but I can only last a few words without being close to a panic, then having Xar switched in midway. Is this normal? Xar can handle it without much problems though.

 

 

Haven't found much while searching for answers on here and google but there's probably something out there. It's probably something that I have to get used to. Mind-voice not matching the vocal cord voice + trying to act like Xar might have something to do with it.

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