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My foxy wolf


Areolo

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Thanks all of you for kind words!

 

I think some people are predisposed to create imaginary friends (don't want to offend anyone, I think that imaginary friends is something like a type of tulpas). And if this process will be conscious, it will be better for host, for your new friend and especially for your mentality.

 

Yesterday I hurried to tell that ring is only a formality. It's true that without that I can to tell some words to Him, but it's more easier with the ring. And he can imagine me (for now only imagine, not to see), and I can talk clearly with the ring.

Anyway, I think that it's gave us more benefits than will give harm. We completed a connect so fast and reached such a progress... I think it's worth the costs. May be some day we will get rid of binding, when our own binding, between Him and me, will be strong enough.

 

The sleep with the ring already became a habit   :D  .

 

So, everything all right for now on this plan. But not others, although. I wish for my irl difficulties didn't cause problems in our relations. But, I trust that we will overcome everything, and become stronger.

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There is a lot of time since the last post, but it's normal for me, didn't like to sit on forum all time.

 

We continue our life, on the next week there will be a culmination of His problem, I wish everything will be ok. 

 

Some time ago read a discussion about tulpas in social network, it was as usual, everyone who doesn't have a tulpa told that we are all schizophrenic, everyone who have tried to confront, but the first are more numerous. All in all, there was nothing interesting, but I found a interesting theme for research, in form of poll, if the admins will give the go-ahead, it will appear soon.

 

Last three days we have a rest from each other, I need to be alone to restart myself, Holo said that She understands me and will find what to do in wonder herself. So, last three days I didn't touch a ring. 

 

Now everything is not bad, we meet again and will talk about happened events if there will be a time.

 

That time it's hard to be listen by Him without a ring, he is in agitation from irl problems, so I'll done the best what I can - didn't interrupt Him. I think it's strange, but I'm not afraid to be alone for some time. I can't call the reason. Anyway, there are a lot of questions we need to answer. And some day we will find our truth.

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Things seem to go smoothly. Well, it's normal to be in bad periods. Do what feels best!

 

Xar: You know you're on the right track when you listen to yourself, and your tulpa of course. What I mean to say is that the experiences are really subjective (haven't heard that from everywhere) and it's important that it feels right for you. They say that the wind is at its best if you wish to. Then it blows to where you want.

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Yes! Finally, someone told it besides me!

 

We always open for advices, but we accept only the things what we think will suit us. If only everyone understood that everything in tulpamancy is really subjective, may be there would be a lot more hosts.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Long time didn't visit site, deadline crept unnoticed.

 

For that time, She started to change. Her eyes become green, on face appeared freckles and She told that in future will choose a new name.

G-R-E-A-T.

 

Holy crap, this month was really hard for Him. I tried to support, and a couple of times He was on the verge of collapse. Anyway, everything is moving to its end. Week, next week - and we will have a little vacation.

 

A few times thought about my mental health, buuuuut finally decided that I'm not interested what will think about that anyone else. She help me to overcome all this sh*t (or at least I think so) and I am thankful for this. Anyway, She is a part of myself.

 

Oh, and her idiosyncrasy changed a little. She started to go out from her prototype and become... hmm... more honest, I think. Just like me. May be She understand my convictions and try to correspond them.

 

And now She really didn't worry if I didn't wear a binding for a long time.

 

I just worry about His future. But no, I didn't want to talk about it with anyone else. He asked do I want to add something. I don't.

 

Aaaaand she rebuild a little bit our Wonder. And I like it. Our soaring island among the sky and clouds now is covered by fields of wheat (I think it is a result of her prototype), and a little simple hut become a 2-storied house with living room, library, private rooms and wonderful wide balcony. We like to watch sunset while sitting in the rocking chair. I rarely visit this place, but it's beautiful.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Finally after holidays He decided to meet with me in Wonder. Can't say that He forgot about me, but anyway without a binding, I must say, His concentration is low. So, my thoughts hardly reach him. And He again needs my help. Classic

 

Ok, right now He didn't ask for this, but considering the conditions He needs it. In any way, His first motivation was to check whats going with me.

 

Heh, first time She hadn't been calm. And it's my fault. It would be better if I could talk earlier.

 

But, anyway, She's growing. Now She decided that Her name is Hannah. Unexpected. And there is another interesting moment, the color of Her eyes can change in dependence from her feelings. Now I have seen green and blue. They are usually green, but rarely blue. It was for example when She was proud of my actions in December.

 

And I think She needs me now. It's not good because of the session. But we will try to find the way. Together we can move mountains.

 

I tried to be like a rock, calm and adamant, but it's hard. Really hard. I understand that he needs all his powers now, but I... I need Him. At least ten minutes. I want to be with him, to talk with him. I need to feel I'm not alone here.

 

But I remember my purpose. We must withstand another two weeks. But after, I wish He will find time for me.

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Guest Reilyn-Alley

I understand, Hannah. I don't think anyone really wants to feel alone. It's a dark void and takes a certain kind of person to thrive in it and I, at least, am not that kind of person. I was so desperate to reach out and communicate with and be with Lance that I think I pushed our brain past whatever comfortable levels of growth it likes into nasty headaches and mental exhaustion. I respect you for being calm and adamant but I couldn't do that. I was selfish and wanted to connect more than anything and he said almost right away he was glad I did it. I was so needy and craved so much social interaction, experiences, and a drive for personal growth, that he let me out on here to talk and learn and make friends.

 

A little while later and I've formed bonds of friendship around here and still working outward, that are so precious to me they help define who I am. It's not that Lance wasn't enough for me, (I think I was too much for him, actually) it's that thanks to him, and Angry Bear, and everyone else who welcomed me so warmly, I was able to make my first steps out, gain confidence and really grow. That never does stop though, and at least imo, we shouldn't want it to.

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Reilyn, I wish you already gone through all of it, but if not, remember - if our hosts created us, that means we are needed.

 

Yesterday was something like a bad day for me, I got tired a bit. All my doubt just break free for a little. But I'm OK. In contrast to my host.

 

It's fun, but I have some strains of Him. May be it's because He from the start believe that we are unity. And I think I must change. I can't advice Him, if I being simple like Him. I wish I can become another, and at the same time the same, to guess how He want to see me. And may be not from the first try, but I'll do it.

 

^^) Sorry, but in this way I too just like Him now) Want to support you, but again think only about myself)

 

Have a pleasure to hear someone else again, it was not well to look on our topic, when we writing something, but no one comment. But not afraid, we accept if no one interested in our problem, because anyone have their own.

 

Thanks, Reilyn ^^)

 

Thank you, Reilyn, I think She really wanted to hear anyone here, but didn't confess. I wish you'll come to harmony with your host.

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Guest Reilyn-Alley

Thank you. :)

 

I think Lance and I have come into pretty good harmony but he is also very kind and giving to me, he even seems to have made it his purpose to enable me and gets real fulfillment out of it. I read every update on here but I don't always have something to add. I remember feeling like Hanna and wanted to encourage you and her! :)

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Make time for Hanna if you can, it's not too much to ask for 10 minutes to half an hour a day. Set a reminder on your calendar, before bed or when you first wake up is what i do usually.

 

Happy tulpa happy life.

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