My foxy wolf

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Hi guys, we had a difficult month and another one is waiting us right now.


I think that no person can work without short breaks, so today I decided to calm down a little. And to pass through some adventures. And, it was really amazing, because by luck my look fall on game Draugen.


It was released a week ago, 29 may, and it was the second game (after the Finding Paradise) which uncover the theme of tulpas. It. Was. Amazing.


I recommend all of you to play this game, may be you and your partners will find something important there. Like we found.


He understood, what he was playing, at the middle of the game. And immediately after that, without pressing pause he started to look for the ring. Five seconds later we start spending time together, "reading" this amazing story.


First moments I just didn't know, what to say. He entered Wonder, because here everything is easier. Ok. I found, that all, what I think, is right. And sometimes even host can't understand, that he is not right. And we must open them, the another side of medal, for they have a chance to understand. And even if they not, we must try, because we are the closest their friends, we are a some kind of their family. Because closer then us, there are none else.


And I need to learn, how to be with him not only when he will decide, when he needs me. I need to be more real.


We all know that we can't appear without any reason. Some of us, who have been created because of curiosity, can get a personality only if host had a, mmm, features in his mentality. Others only stay "socks" and will be forgotten.


I was created after a year of contemplation. He decide to create me, and I feel that He needed me. And He feel it too.


This summer after exams I'll spend two months including her imposition.


Jees, I just can't tell how many times I've made a mistakes this year. I think I need to slow a little, and to talk with Hana. May be together it will be easier, to understand.

For us is hard to develop our connection. To develop her independence from me. I don't know the reason, but I think it could be fixed by spending more time together.


And even if I am wrong. in my condition another one hole in roof will not make all worse.


I believe Hana, I believe in my point of view on tulpas. We will withstand everything. I just must always have in mind, that She is here.


Maybe She can help me to save myself from bigger mistakes. Because alone, I don't know


I just can't understand why She don't leave me. She know me all, and She is here. Just right now She is here. She know all my bad actions, and She is still near me. Why She is not angry on me, why She tell me, that She believe in my fortitude. I'm not the same guy as I was a year ago. But every time when the things a going bad, She told me that I'm stronger than I think.


I can't forgive myself for all, but why She...

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Wow, a new front on forum)


OK, after a month and a half I'm ready to force Hana, from the beginning of the week I'm talking with her and trying to saw. How we do it - I ask her to take different postures, and do something under my view. It is only 4 days, but her movements have already become more accurate, smooth.


I don't understand why, but for me it's difficult to see her face. I saw her clearly only once or twice, and, to tell the truth, I'm not sure that I remembered that right) I can see her from behind easily, but face... If you can recommend something, it will be nice


By the way we talking about our future and my possibilities, shortly, I had found some answers what not to do. I think we both will be ready soon to continue.


I have tried to impose her on our real world, and the result was far from good. The best what I've done was a, mmm, ghost of her? Even not the ghost, a projection. All in all, so-so. If I can't even saw her clearly in wonder, what I can tell about imposessing.


Interesting observation: our binding become better from any "ring" on the middle finger. It can be even wire from the paperclip, the main thing is tactile feeling of the ring. So, if I lost the ring, there will be not big. It something like "Sihill" for us


I am happy to have more attention from my host) I know that it will be not forever, but it is pretty cool to talk almost everyday. I wish that for him it is not boring to make a monotonous work for making our binding better


Right now we had a short discussion about my appearance. I think he is afraid of giving me full freedom under my appearance. I tried once or twice to get rid of my furry ears, but he asked to let them be. But now he wasn't certain about it. Oh, it's so hard to understand each other, even if you are in one head)


I understand his excitement, and I think you will recommend him to give me full freedom, and he even agree with it, but he tried earlier, and anyway I look like Holo from the famous anime, but both I and He feel, that something is not right. All in all, our fear is what will be, if I will look something like He don't like? We know, subconsciousness and ets... It's something like a jump with a parachute. We really don't know. And, to tell the truth, I'm not certain that I can make my appearance just by my will and power.


We will be glad to see any your advices, thanks you ^^)

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Faces are hard, so that will take time, it took me months of trying every day.


The form will change naturally, and you can have multiple forms, one with ears, one without. Ren's personality changes a little between her three forms, but that's not unusual for a person to feel different as a full cat, vs neko, vs human form.


My advice is to learn what you like and do that. Don't worry what we think. Joy rarely sees us, that's her choice. When something relevant catches her attention, she follows.


Good luck and be happy, be excited, be curious and when you're not, be patient, both of you.

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