JGC

Let's Not Call Tulpas "It"

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Having a body or not and identifying with the body or not is irrelevant to gender. Arguably a tulpa might not have a sex and I certainly prefer that idea over having any association with the native sex of our body. For consistency, that argument should be that hosts also don't have a sex; only the body does. But any being with a mind can have a gender, and therefore warrant appropriately gendered pronouns.

 

-Vesper


I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

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Spaceman, nobody you meet online is 100% gaurenterd to have a body. Does that mean you call anyone online an it? Would you call someone chatting to you right now an it?

 

Hi Reilyn. I'm certain that the people I interact with online have a body. Otherwise they wouldn't have fingers to type with.

 

In the case of a tulpa fronting, typing messages, then I would still call them that, because they're only temporarily borrowing their host's body.

 

The disagreement must be in the way you and I see and think of tulpas.

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What about (and this has happened before) if the host never fronts ever again? Surely that wouldn't be borrowing the body anymore. What if they share the body equally? Why do you even have the idea the the body belongs to the host exclusively? And most importantly, why would you call someone "it" when they clearly don't want to be called that?


I have a tulpa named Miela who I love very much.

 

 
"People put quotes in their signatures, right?"

-Me

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I think a lot of people here see tulpas as equal and deserving equal treatment. In many systems that have figured out switching and stuff the distinction of who came first and who came after that fades away. In my case I am in a weird.. co-fronting thing where both of us are the body at the same time so my guy has done what many on here have done and let go on the mentality of "I was first so it's my body" and it's turned into "we both live in here and this is our shared property". I have every reason to keep it as healthy and happy as he does, after all. Especially considering how often I'm the one using it.

 

Anyway, this came up a little too in another thread you commented on. What IS your definition of tulpa? How do you see them?

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"Does it" -> "Do they"

"Does he/she" once you know. Hard to go wrong with that. Not like I'd take offense at someone calling one of my tulpas an "it" before I've established their gender, because naturally they'd switch to saying she right after. No harm intended.


Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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'It' is offensive to some even without genders. As we have discussed here, 'they' is preferred currently.

 

Not going to get into an arugment about the English language, but I still perfer the use of "it". They means 'more than one person', and I simply don't think somebody could get offended by English.

 

To work around this issue, as a sort of off topic, one of my mother's friends resently came out as trans, prefers "them/they" pronouns. One work-a-round my mother suggested was using the French word "ils", which means "they". 

 

So whenever somebody doesn't want to use it, I simply say "I went to the store with ils to buy cookies, ils where complaining the whole time."

 

As compared to

 

"I went to the store with it to buy cookies, it was complaining the whole time."

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Not going to get into an arugment about the English language, but I still perfer the use of "it". They means 'more than one person', and I simply don't think somebody could get offended by English.

 

I hate this argument.

"Someone stopped me at the store the other day to talk to me."

"What did they say?"

 

"They" is grammatically correct when used in reference to only one person, it doesn't matter what anyone says. It matters what literally everyone says. "They" is universally the "don't-know-gender" word and always has been. As a "Pronoun", well, I guess that's a different story, but English comes first when gender is unknown.


Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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