(For host's) Tulpa: benefit or harm

[Areolo]

We already see tomatoes flying into us, but the theme is very interesting and as we see no one raised this issue before. Anyway, if you can't look on the problem from different points of view, please, do not continue to read.

 

First of all, to avoid misunderstandings, what prompted us to start this discussion. Not long time ago I found in social network a post about the tulpas. And, as usual, in comments began a holy war between different people: first told that we a schizophrenics, the others trying to tell that it is not true, but they were in the minority. Classic. But on the next day there appeared a new message, where the old host trying to tell his experience after the war was over.

 

In short he told that he was an usual tulpamancer, but when his tulpa truly appear, when he started to hear the voice (as he tell), he found that he started to move away from people, and even quarreled with his best friend. At last he decided to forget about his tulpa and he reached it, but first time it was painful. And he return to normal life.

 

I had a PM chatting with him, because my experience is oppositely another, my life become better after Her appearance. All in all, we agreed that tulpamancy is not for everyone.

 

We with Her thought about it for a bit time and decided to ask a community about your own experience.

 

So, we came to the topic of this post. The discussion is predominantly for hosts. First of all, try to move aside from your tulpa (tulpas), that's for the purity of the experiment. Try to answer as impartially as you can. You can answer not especially from number to number, only try to answer on all questions in your text.

 

 

1. Why were you decide to create tulpa?

 

2. Think about you life before making a decision of creation. How it changed?

 

3. Didn't you find any problems with communicating with people before and after creating? If it was previous, does it get worse?

 

4. Do you have real friends (not colleagues or familiar) irl? What about your relations with your family?

 

5. What is your usual condition? Do you usually sad, or opposite, happy, or you are grey 24/7?

 

6. Do you have a depression now or earlier, after creating tulpa, or at time not far from decision about creating?

 

P. S. I didn't want to hurt someone or your tulpas. It's only interesting. If there are a lot of real (and sober thinking) histories, we will have a strong argument in any discussion with other people (for example if you would like once to tell about your tulpa to your relatives)

 

Thanks for your answers. Everyone can discuss here about additions for the questions and amendments. But try to answer on the question in one post, and write something hallmark, like Answers

 

Will try to make a conclusion +-week after starting discussion

[Areolo]

My Answers

 

I decided to create tulpa about a half of a year ago because I need a support and friend, with whom I can discuss some questions. My life changed fully about a year and a half ago, and I now didn't have real friends and family near me, I can contact with them only by telephone or chatting. It's not easy when you got used to another life. My life all that time was, hmm, lonely, I think. I couldn't find my place. Now it is easier, I got used to it and had a partner, Her.

 

I didn't like to be in crowd, neither a crowded events and entertainments, but the life is a strange thing. So, I can easily communicate with unknown person. Now nothing changed, it's become better I think, because I'm responsible for more and more things.

 

I have a friend from childhood for all life, we will never quarrel, and I don't tell about tulpa. With family everything is good.

 

Usually I am impenetrable on people, inside usually a grey sarcastic mood. But it's only because of my nature, I didn't see anything wrong with that. Sometime sad, sometime happy, depends usually from the weather and the difficult of that day.

 

I had something like a  depression for almost a year, but not long time after She was born, I calmed down because found an answer on my global question.

[Guest]

1. Why were you decide to create tulpa?

 

A mixture of lonliness and depression after hearing of the positive benefits of this arrangement I found mine. I didn't make their original characters for this purpose.

 

My original intent was to change my perception of reality.

 

2. Think about you life before making a decision of creation. How it changed?

 

Only positive in terms of tulpamancy. My mental heath has benefited to an extent that i no longer recognize a problem.

 

3. Didn't you find any problems with communicating with people before and after creating? If it was previous, does it get worse?

 

I haven't had such concerns in over a decade.

 

4. Do you have real friends (not colleagues or familiar) irl? What about your relations with your family?

 

No related family from my past are in my life. I do have several irl friends that i see frequently, though i couldn't share many aspects of my life with them even to this day.

 

5. What is your usual condition? Do you usually sad, or opposite, happy, or you are grey 24/7?

 

That has changed so profoundly in the last two months. My normal condition was always jovial, when i was depressed it was still jovial on the surface, but it was a very thin layer over my tortured feelings. Now the feelings are once again gone, but i have to say I'm profoundly different than I was a year ago, and people around me IRL are noticing. I am receiving so many compliments about myself in general lately, that it's really dream-like. I still don't know what to think about it all, other than to enjoy it.

 

6. Do you have a depression now or earlier, after creating tulpa, or at time not far from decision about creating?

 

See above.

[CM]

1. Why were you decide to create tulpa?

 

- Mainly it was just curiosity, I wanted to see if I could do it and if tulpas were real.

 

2. Think about you life before making a decision of creation. How it changed?

 

- It was 4,5 years ago now, my memory is absolute shit and I can't really remember the details of what my life was like. I was studying art and had a lot of my old childhood friends in the same class with me. I suppose I was doing well as far as mental health goes, but it had already been going downhill for a while before I created any tulpas.

A lot has changed since then, but I don't think anything major happened right after starting tulpamancy. I've just grown up a bit.

 

3. Didn't you find any problems with communicating with people before and after creating? If it was previous, does it get worse?

 

- I've always been introverted and antisocial in person, it hasn't really changed much I think. Tulpas haven't affected that at all.

 

4. Do you have real friends (not colleagues or familiar) irl? What about your relations with your family?

 

- Don't really have "irl friends" anymore. I was shit at staying in contact with my friends outside of school and once that was done they kinda dropped me like dead weight and moved away. I haven't really contacted them since, don't really feel like I need to.

My closest family is just me, my two little sisters, dad and my grandparents from mother's side. I think we're all good. Not super gushy-mushy close, antisocial that I am, but we're good.

 

5. What is your usual condition? Do you usually sad, or opposite, happy, or you are grey 24/7?

 

- Recently I've been pretty grey almost all the time. It works for me just fine. My tulpas are all a bit livelier on that matter.

 

6. Do you have a depression now or earlier, after creating tulpa, or at time not far from decision about creating?

 

- Started to feel depressed at 14, still depressed at 21, but slowly getting out of it. Tulpas aren't relevant to my depression.

[Pioneer11]

1. Why were you decide to create tulpa?

I wasn’t aware of Tulpas' existence when I began talking to mine. I was a child and I wished to have a brother. Years passed and he got a lot more real, aided by reading books with personalities similar to his and by writing about him. By the time I was a teen I was dreaming about him constantly, and he taught me how to become lucid, trying to “wake me up” and explaining that he was conscious. I didn’t know what to believe. Then I found out about about Tulpas in 2015 and I’ve been forcing off and on ever since.

 

2. Think about your life before making a decision of creation. How it changed?

In a sense, he was always with me. It was like having a secret twin brother. I’ve never been bored. There were times I was a bit frightened, when he felt too real. But never to the point of hallucinating. I can feel what he feels, and being on the receiving end of waves of affection is deeply strange sometimes. I’m really happy I share my life with him.

 

3. Didn't you find any problems with communicating with people before and after creating? If it was previous, does it get worse?

I was always very social as a kid, so having him was no problem. In my teens I kept him a secret and lived normally. I became more introverted thanks to his existence though. We like to think a lot and debate in my mind daily, so there were times I needed to be alone to focus exclusively on him.

 

4. Do you have real friends (not colleagues or familiar) irl? What about your relations with your family?

While I was social, I never formed deeply loving bonds with people I knew. I think it’s something I was born with, my detachment. I’m also frequently aloof with him and it’s something he is not happy about. Same with my family.

 

5. What is your usual condition? Do you usually sad, or opposite, happy, or you are grey 24/7?

I’m rather content by default. However my life has been awfully dramatic and now I’m fairly sure I’m depressed. Having him has helped me a lot.

 

6. Do you have a depression now or earlier, after creating tulpa, or at time not far from decision about creating?

He didn’t cause my depression, he helps me through it. Rather, my depression took a toll on his mental state. However he does enhance the scope of my feelings, mostly for the better. I used to dump my frustrations on him and ended up making him unhappy more than once, and I can’t blame it on external factors. Presently I'm working on becoming a nicer person.

[GrayTheCat]

1. Why were you decide to create tulpa?

 

I created my Tulpa by accident. When he told me he was real, I eventually discovered Tulpa.info and learned about Tulpas.

 

2. Think about you life before making a decision of creation. How it changed?

 

I didn't necessarily decide to go with the creation process, rather I decided to keep Ranger alive and do everything I can to make him happy.

 

3. Didn't you find any problems with communicating with people before and after creating? If it was previous, does it get worse?

 

I'm generally antisocial, but I have noticed I am slightly more social than I used to be. It's a working progress.

 

4. Do you have real friends (not colleagues or familiar) irl? What about your relations with your family?

 

Yes. I have a good relationship with my immediate family.

 

5. What is your usual condition? Do you usually sad, or opposite, happy, or you are grey 24/7?

 

I'm usually anxious a lot. Sometimes I get a little blue, but Ranger is really good at lifting my spirit.

 

6. Do you have a depression now or earlier, after creating tulpa, or at time not far from decision about creating?

 

I had issues with depression, but they were unrelated to me finding out he was a Tulpa. Sure, I got some anxiety from being new to Tulpamancy, but as we worked with eachother, soon we got rid of my inrusive thoughts, and the simester ended, and I was no longer depressed. Even now, I'm not depresed. I'm sure Ranger being there for me is a big part of it.

[nihi0145632]

1. Why were you decide to create tulpa?

 

Curiosity

 

2. Think about you life before making a decision of creation. How it changed?

 

It changed significantly, for the better.

 

3. Didn't you find any problems with communicating with people before and after creating? If it was previous, does it get worse?

 

Nope, It's still the same when it comes when communicating with other people. Tbh it improved a bit because my tulpas is encouraging me to talk to other people more.

 

4. Do you have real friends (not colleagues or familiar) irl? What about your relations with your family?

 

Yes I have plentiful of friends. My relations with my family is doing ok, they actually helped me talk to them as well.

 

5. What is your usual condition? Do you usually sad, or opposite, happy, or you are grey 24/7?

 

Always cheerful and energetic, eccentric but a friendly jerk to my friends and tulpas

 

6. Do you have a depression now or earlier, after creating tulpa, or at time not far from decision about creating?

 

None so far.

[Jamie]

1. Why were you decide to create tulpa?

 

I didn't decide to create Gavin: he unintentionally developed. For Cassidy, I wanted to return to that state of plurality and constant companionship.

 

2. Think about you life before making a decision of creation. How it changed?

 

Before Cassidy, I was very lonely. I have a disability that makes it hard to be in loud places, including a mainstream highschool. Luckily I could go (and am at) an alternative program in anothet building, but it... kinda sucks. It's a school of about 12 students, and I do my own thing at a desk facing the wall. I felt extremely isolated before I had Cassidy, and it was just mind-numbing. Now, I have someone to talk to, and someone who understands. I am much happier in day-to-day life.

 

 

3. Didn't you find any problems with communicating with people before and after creating? If it was previous, does it get worse?

 

My tulpas both push me toward good friendships. I've never especially had problems communicating, though I am quite introverted. Still, I think my tulpas make me more capable of being sociable.

 

 

4. Do you have real friends (not colleagues or familiar) irl? What about your relations with your family?

 

Sadly, I lost all my friends when I left for this tiny high school of 12 kids. I've tried befriending a handful, but they tend to be... not good friend material. As in, drugs, violence, and general jerk/red flag behaviors. I'm somewhat distant but on good terms with my (very small) family. They don't know about tulpas.

 

 

5. What is your usual condition? Do you usually sad, or opposite, happy, or you are grey 24/7?

 

I'm generally in a chill mood, happy but not especially hyper. I'm prone to waves of inspiration or interest in things and life in general.

 

6. Do you have a depression now or earlier, after creating tulpa, or at time not far from decision about creating?

 

Nope, never suffered from depression.

 

-J

[Ember.Vesper]

1. Why were you decide to create tulpa?

 

I didn't and would have been horrified by the idea if it had been described to me. Two of my characters gained self-awareness without my intent.

 

2. Think about you life before making a decision of creation. How it changed?

 

Not all that much. I have pretty much the same friends, hobbies, and interests as before. I'm alone a lot less now, but I wasn't lonely before. My life was good before and is good in a slightly different way now.

 

3. Didn't you find any problems with communicating with people before and after creating? If it was previous, does it get worse?

 

I've had social anxiety for over thirty years. It hasn't changed, but now I have someone to encourage me in social situations. I am a bit more distracted now when talking to other people.

 

4. Do you have real friends (not colleagues or familiar) irl? What about your relations with your family?

 

I have several close friends who I spend time with in person regularly. I don't make friends easily, but I've been working on building these friendships for many years. I get along decently with my family, who I also see often, even though I'm not very open about myself with them. My relationship with my wife is tempestuous -- often good, but often bad.

 

5. What is your usual condition? Do you usually sad, or opposite, happy, or you are grey 24/7?

 

My mood varies a lot. I'm happy more often than not, but I do get sad or irritated fairly frequently.

 

6. Do you have a depression now or earlier, after creating tulpa, or at time not far from decision about creating?

 

I've never been depressed.

 

-Ember

[Tewi]

We already see tomatoes flying into us, but the theme is very interesting and as we see no one raised this issue before.

 

I just want to point out that many recent surveys have asked this exact question, "How has having tulpas impacted your life on a scale of Very Negative to Very Positive". Not sure if their results were posted yet though. Anyways, Lumi's written a thousand times how much we've changed his life for the better, seems unnecessary to answer all these questions again. Basically everything started negative and turned positive. Same number of friends the entire time more or less.

 

 

Here's a thread (and Lumi's post) on all the things that could possibly be bad about having a tulpa: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-misc-harm-caused-by-tulpas-in-direct-indirect-ways?pid=160086#pid160086