Hiraeth

Beyond my Soul - Our Tulpastory

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Hey guys,

I'm Hireath, a ''new'' tulpamancer. I started a month ago with creating a tulpa, but I wasn't so motivated, and I really felt bad for being such a bad host. So I decided to give everything I can into her and write here our every-day-progresses of our forcing sessions so I won't forget.

 

So Day 1:

Well, my first tulpas name is Chiha, she's a girl with light brown hair and blue/green eyes and she is really lively. I'm still not able to hear her, sadly, but we will work on that!

 

Today I tried asking her to surprise me while we were in our wonderland. At first she just stood there and didn' t do much, but then, Well, I don't know how to explain this, but she kind of turned into... a puddle of ink? I couldn't hold myself back and started to laugh. :D But I'm still not sure if this was really her, or it was me unintentionally imaging her turning into ink...

 

Well, if someone read this, Thank you!

~Hiraeth

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If it felt unintentional on your part, assume it was her :). Doubt is your worst enemy in the creation process and if you feel it wasn't you, if you're questioning it or wondering, then chances are it was at least 50% her.


~ We are Venny, the host, and Viper, my soul! ~

        Click here! Come join us on the chat!

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Hello Hiraeth, Chiha. Doubt is normal, and though I have far more evidence than I will ever need that tulpamancy works and Reilyn is real (sometimes I think more "real" than me, heh), I still doubt myself. Even if I am 100% convinced in her, it's always been hard for me to believe in myself and that I am not somehow messing things up. She reminds me that she believes in me, which I think says a lot about our relationship.

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Hello there,

Thank you all for the kind massages!

I know that doubt is toxic and you should assume it was the tulpa, but I can't help myself to doubt sometimes, it's in my (or better: our) nature. Maybe we need it, maybe we want to constantly question, that what we are doing is really happening in this moment, so our belief only get's stronger.

 

But don't worry, I won't stop forcing! ?

 

Day 2:

Today I didn't forced much, but I think that I heard Chihas Voice! I was so excited!!

In the evening, before going to bed, i laid down, closed my eyes and played a colored noise(or voice?), the pink noise from Fede. After a little time, my body felt numb and I've really tried hard to concentrate hearing her on my right ear. I asked her some questions or encoureged her to say something, and at one time, it was like the noise was turning into a whisper, it was silent, but it was still a whisper.

 

I can't wait to try this again, I feel like we are so close!

 

I wish everyone of you a good night :)

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Hello guys, 

wow. It's been a looong time since I last posted something here. Many things happened, I stopped forcing actively for a while and started again some weeks ago. I decided to update this again because I've made some progress and reached a new ''milestone''. First things first: Chiha is still as lively and kind as before and forgave me for leaving her along for that long time... The first time when I came back to our wonderland, she hugged me happily and said that she is glad that I came back and she understands. She also told me that she spent most of the time cleaning and preparing my room for my return.. I felt so bad, and made her a big cake. She smiled, but after she took a bite, she started to sob.. It really broke my heart... So I spent more and more time with her. Yesterday I thought about making another tulpa, a male one, so she wouldn't have to be alone all the time. I always wanted Chiha to develop more before we start making another one. Chiha agreed to it, in fakt she wished to have some company for a while. Here comes the weird point.. Right after we decided on that, a tulpa appeared out of nowhere (at least he told me he was a tulpa). He said that he existed for quite a while, not as long as Chiha though. He waited for me to decide to really have and care for another tulpa, and wanted to appear at the right time. When I asked him what he did or where he was all the time, he told me he wandered through the subconscious and sometimes visited the wonderland. Chiha said that she never saw him, but agreed that he is a tulpa. Ah, he told me that he doesn't have a name, so he said he would call himself Tamae, but it changed to Deeva and then to Nagi. So now his name is Nagi, and he likes it a lot. This all is so weird... Is such a thing even possible?? Well, from now on I will update more the next days. Thank you for reading this. 

Have a nice day :) 

-Hiraeth, Chiha and Nagi

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