Jump to content

Yuka's First Tulpa Journal


YukariTelepath

Recommended Posts

The monsters are intrusive thought i'm sure. We would get all manner of crazy things.

 

EDIT: the picture wasn't there before. So cute and uk! Horrible. Still nice drawing!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 125
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Aya is super cute! I think the monster is kind of cute too. I have a monster I play with that Dragon made for me to be friends with. I guess most would think she's scary but I know how silly she is.

 

You should make sure Aya knows she is in charge if other things appear in the Wonderland though. Dragon made a 'rule' that I couldn't feel pain in Haven (unless I wanted to for some reason I don't know) early on. It wasn't something he expected to come up but he made it anyway because he heard about other tulpas in situations where they felt pain.

 

It's a good thing he did since I ended up liking fighting a lot and he didn't expect that. Also we now have his paranoia locked up in the underworld and it tried to attack me the first time we tried to talk to it but it couldn't hurt me cause of the rule.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Angry Bear, yeah I didn't upload the pic properly the first time, oops. Thanks!

 

Reilyn, thank you!

 

Kyoko, Yes, that's a good idea, I will make sure Aya can fight off whatever and control things in wonderland. An RPG like adventure sounds like it would be fun too.

Host: YukariTelepath

Tulpas: Aya, Ruki

 

Imposition log

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 49

  • Yesterday I asked Aya if there was anything they wanted to do on a wonderland adventure, and I got the thought of skiing, which was totally random to me. It seems that is what they meant. Today I remembered that and said, “but I don't know how to ski,” and Aya said “just try.”

  • There's a door in the wonderland house that I use to bring us to any kind of location. I used it to get us to a ski lodge and we went skiing. With how long it takes me to visualize the trip, we only went down the hill once, though. Time: 40 minutes

 

Day 50 (Jan 1 2019)

  • I had a hard time narrating today, Aya kinda felt absent when I tried. I'm not one to be able to feel my tulpa's presence, but maybe I'm gradually getting a bit of a sense of it. Come to think of it, I don't think I felt the tight throat feeling either. I usually take that as strong evidence Aya is there.

Day 51

  • I'm starting to think maybe when I force I should put more focus on Aya-- I mean, when I narrate I'm just talking to Aya, not about them. When I active force, we go around the wonderland but that means putting my attention on creating the environment and deciding what to do. Not sure the best way to give Aya attention though. I thought after like two weeks that I didn't need to personality force anymore, but I never really put any detail into that. I wasn't sure how to elaborate on and apply the traits (certainly didn't spend 15 minutes per trait). Some things to think about anyway.

  • I decided to call the lump-in-throat feeling “throat pressure” (like head pressure, which I don't get). I still don't know what it could mean since it happens at random, but today it occurred to me it could be Aya trying to talk? I've heard sub-vocalization activates the vocal chords after all.

Day 52

  • Today I did things kind of different for my active forcing session. I covered my eyes with a sleeping mask and I started out meditating, just letting my thoughts come and go and trying to observe them passively. Before starting I had been looking at twitter where I follow a lot of artists, so I had a lot of random images popping up too. I slowly turned my thoughts toward Aya and started feeling like I was deep in my mind/distant from the outer world. I tried to bring forth Aya's “essence” and let it surround me, and I could really feel it, that weird fuzzy radiating feeling. I wanted to know what Aya's presence felt like and get to know them better. I feel I heard “I love you.”  I went through all the main personality traits I had given to Aya early on, and I offered them again for Aya to accept if it suited them. All this lasted about 40 minutes. Then I decided to bring us to wonderland and we met on the porch. I reinforced the idea again that Aya has control of the wonderland. When I tried to see Aya in front of me, they seemed taller and broader than usual and kind of radiant. We went inside and sat at the table. I conjured some tea and I talked to Aya for a little while. And at one point I felt something strange, like I got hugged by Aya's essence, though I hadn't moved or visualized a hug or anything. The whole time Aya seemed taller and bigger. Total time: 70 minutes.

 

The last session was very good, I think it's a good forcing approach, meditating and focusing on Aya like that. Checking over my post now, I'm feeling Aya's essence and some light throat pressure.

Host: YukariTelepath

Tulpas: Aya, Ruki

 

Imposition log

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 51, lump in throat could easily be emotional bleed, think about when it happens. It was one of the first ones Dashie gave me, it means happiness (like getting a lump in your throat from being overwhelmed with Joy) or sadness, depending on context.

 

The 'hug' seems nice! That could be like touch imposition. A lot of the tulpamancy techniques happen to me at random too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

About the throat pressure, I had thought it might be emotional bleed but now that it's happened a lot, I can't seem to find any reason that I get it. It just comes on when nothing in particular is happening, and it can go away over time or if I get immersed in another task. I hadn't thought about it being a happiness bleed-over over though. It does coincide with thinking about Aya, like I'm still feeling it now. The first time I noted it to myself was day 22, I wrote "I'm thinking... I might be getting a tight feeling in my throat from Aya??? I really don't know but I feel a tightness in my throat leading up to evening forcing sessions, and also sometimes in the afternoon. Like, maybe Aya wants me to stop procrastinating and visit them already." I left it out of the online journal because I still felt vague about it then. Funny how everything I've left out of the online journal turns out to be tulpa related after all.

 

The 'hug' was like, suddenly being enveloped in that fuzzy feeling, so I think it's not touch imposition. It was pretty nice!

Host: YukariTelepath

Tulpas: Aya, Ruki

 

Imposition log

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Reilyn-Alley

I love those fuzzy feeling hugs. We still aren't great at imagery and can't feel any other senses but our emotions and expectations make hugs and cuddles sooo real. Physical pressure, temperature, etc nope. A feeling of closeness and happiness and love and a personal connection between two people that makes everything fuzzy and nice, yeah we feel that fully. At that point the fleshy sweat and muscles thing just seems like an add-on that we could take or leave.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...